Failed so many times simply trying too hard or assuming I knew what was right. No ding to confidence for it is essential in any discipline, but working for God the Courage to speak His Holy Word brings with it a courage outside of my manufacture. To know the mistakes of a man who has tried to do what is only capable through God is an essential blessing.

He made me, when I departed from Him I diminished in every capacity, every measure of the word into something that was measure and limited by the World. Every failure is directly attributable to my own plans, energy, provision and performance, whereas all the amazing Divinely inspired things in this life have been of His account, Planning and execution.

There is no love like the One of Jesus Christ in God the Father, becoming the worldly temple of His Holy Spirit. Certainly each man, even the heroes of the Bible found themselves caught by the foolishness of self reliance. Having tasted of that sour mash and the elixir of my own failed prowess, it is paramount and enjoyable to never mistake mine for His.

The failures of this day are no different. The moment I forget who sent me and turn to my own lens, power and flesh I am undone. I have never found love for instance and upset so many people along the way that you would think a man in that position would never again attempt to drink from the well of his own resolve or understanding, but alas I am here.

I don’t wish to win anymore, yet I still self defend believing that somehow this persona is protection, it is the opposite. For I am going to receive this lesson until it is aptly performed for God’s review. Lord knows I have had the same lesson repeatedly throughout this life in childhood and maturity. Don’t laugh it was simply used as a time description.

Subsequently, I cannot fix it only listen and obey. This is one that God will need to change, I feel the defense mechanisms drilled so deeply that I cannot extract them from this soul. Let this be the moment that the Holy Spirit takes control since I have tried to surrender so often I don’t see the mistake continually achieved. May this be the moment that He takes the lead.

Nonetheless Lord Your Will be done and though I may be ready in mindset to learn this lesson perhaps I have yet to see what the Lord is trying to reveal. I pray that this lesson is learned to the good of Your perfect glory for this vessel. I ask forgiveness for not being able to let go of or learn that which you are ready for me to possess. Make me in Your Image.

In Jesus’ Name, these days require my circumspection. Let me see clearly each lesson and let go or hold tight as is required to complete Your tasking.

Voce, vox the unkempt power to express through words; opinion, error and emotion to be captured as time’s evidence for or against each man.

The tongue’s missive. An attempt at true power to connect, defect, embrace or deny allegiance to either sin and regret or peace and everlasting.

Tired, so weary of the attempt at camouflage or caution. Never wanting the authority to shame, blame or contain the inner fire touching each man’s heart.

What emperor conquered before claiming he would? What woman brought man to heel before challenging the right order of things in universal proclamation?

What may we hope in our own acclaim of fair use in power? The Spirit is my wind chime, consistently demonstrating alliance with the Will of our King.

Yet, the self expression’s fire is found in steering vessel with tiny keel. These words, this organic mechanism creating a unique projection into which is sown; anger, measure or love.

What makes a brook babble so? What calms the nerve of those afraid? What brings conflagration to misery in the pyres of yonder war camps?

In silence the true emergence of self. The lack of wielded sword, incessant quietude or prolonged call for valor and or impatience.

These are the elucidation of man’s true might before God, to humbly silence the spoken gift or to make known the glory and majesty of the King of Kings in each emitted sound.

Time squeaked upon its wheel but refused to stop. If we could slow it down then the waters never reach the top. To bottom round about we swing, knowing storms that never bring. Relief to all weather bound by rules and promise or heaven’s found. Righteous and the purely held, so sought the realms of pearl’s purchase. Bought, displayed for eyes to gather. Rather helms to promise might, ship and sail. Never fail to bring us round to new worlds and winters Long. A song a cape good man around my back, shoulder taught, with tight drawn cord without the slack. Does green so hollow leave dawn to red, putting moon to breathe and sun to bed.

In harmony, pitfall and brigands shout what is the calamity all about. To friends and hearts to find their hope so many questions beyond our scope. Nope, was whispered to confound any belief and faith was found. Sound so quick to light our path echoing halls with dreams we’d had. Glad and then in doubt depressed a cad of manner a horse confessed. Too polite to end the fight, Bright the morning’s light past night. With horns and belled we marked the day never admit we’d slept in hay. A bay and goat up close warmth we held forgetting when we lost or led.

This scene reminds and convicts each heart of all the nights we’d spent alone apart. A Part we played, places that we stayed in shade or heat of fire’s coal. Soul and mind clear of sorts no history from breaks or clear from warts. Wanton wish and freedom searched, perched upon the edge of dying worlds and dream shattered by hour’s glass. Reminded that we were never owned but still sought freedom with empty hand. Standing in the wind of age fighting on to turn each page with mounting roar and foaming rage we struck the bars and damned this cage.

To love we cried with marcher’s call to battle beckon one and all to end we find or tarry on to victor’s ball. Not aligned to Queen or Crown a frown upon striated cheek the meek toss of blind eyes and the bewitched we sought to bring the ruler’s down. Caustic rhyme and devilish dance none of this is happenstance. Romance found when crowns fall before weeping feet seeing all beloved street gathered in glory’s gowns. Bitter reminder of forgotten dreams, lost in pursuit of schemes and clear streams of thought bought and paid for in this golden age.

Away again to cloud. Loud the scream of chariot horse, divorce from fear and cheer we found the clear skies of harmony reflecting in her eyes. And pause we briefly reminded within, so taut the rub on lantern’s djinn. To conjure power and deceive them all to slow their run to simple crawl. Born of shadow with darker shades as the history and pain so quickly fades. Jades and gems adorned her eyes that cut any man right down to size. Belief in ego reduced to imp, walking comfortably we begin to limp. No certainty or doubt to strong to smoulder the holy fire.

Flowers and sand, miles and miles of sky without land. Knowing things you wouldn’t want to understand. All on demand, totally unplanned as if remand found our name lodged as members of the band. We thought it rather rare to be riding through the air with nary but a care about how to wear our hair. Up tight or maybe loose right angles or obtuse scripted from a muse fastidious and profuse.

Abundance of neglect, remembering what we all had wrecked and the hearts we had affect that we hope to someday protect. Four alarm fires on the plane inferno gone insane soot and cinders now remain all in black we now refrain. Crescendo without sound a tattered British pound once lost but has been found crumbled and torn upon the ground. Our sight is poor at best keeping cards up to our vest.

Hoped to hide and cry we had lied about being spry broken hearts and tear filled eye a brief reluctant sigh. Adjust my glasses not to see but to block the thoughts inside of me nothing comes for free especially what you were truly meant to be. The cost is not the wealth the humor and the health the fountains of our shame where no one is to blame. We ran until we dropped a barber pristinely cropped snookered and well schnapped.

Our plane came into land the towers were unmanned all the data had been scanned and each moment seemed so canned. Purple shirts and olive pants tiny spiders and large ants bold gestures of romance greedy men sought to advance. Plumes and feathered twill the hat without a bill our pleasures all stood still waiting as we will. Too sharp to cut the knife he wished he knew a wife planning out her life with one drum and broken fife.

The twist and then the turn seemed that he’d never learn hot dishes often burn misplaced love they often spurn. The whirl and the spin the gill before the fin forgiveness after sin martini without gin. A greater forgotten loon, red footed boobies on the moon fired him too soon way before he began to swoon. An icy mountain road and humble brick abode chocolatte ala mode made our heads want to explode.

The tell tale romance of man with his story. Told as elder to wide-eyed waiting youth. Himself the center of a carefully designed universe meant to elevate and encapsulate the glory of fiery persona. A hill upon which he could never fail, as if growing directly from the ground and flying through the windy seeds of whirling clouds.

Masterful, intentional, irredeemable by quest or understanding. When paupers wrote of heroes, moored in the memories of mind and deed. He pronounced his name so slowly neatly sown to the tapestry remanded for cold castle walls of centuries passed. Nothing but time owned his mortar and gravity gave him respect.

In mercy’s hope he repelled to low hanging window, chancing a glimpse or wink or just be known. In the dust covered barn yard animals waited. Some skyward facing others bowed in humble majesty of moments intensified by repeated fables come true. Relaxed in the revelation of his loose grip upon sovereignty.

Standing or kneeling before the origin of all, words were unnecessary and love unfamiliar, yet it seemed now his only weapon or offering. What dance, song or dream would appropriate, he was undone. The robe meant to keep him warm, an offense as this child lay in straw before him. It found its perfect place to wrap the swaddle.

No thought left standing, all naked, not hiding in pride or lust for bounty but remade in root, branch, and fruit for eternity. They spoke and sang and gave recounting each day grander than the last. Trying to retell each minute detail to stretch the mind’s eye of all who listened. It never grew old this blessing, a collection of moments meant only for beloved.

Yet, all were welcomed this night, this holy night of exoneration, joy and hope as rain falls on windy mountain the quiet calm of hearts stood awe-stricken. The donkey’s cry made somber. The men brought to supplication and calm. Something than the choir of banded angels. To speak into life that the light had finally come to all.

We’ve known that a time approaches where the powers that have worked Dominion for their own choosing would rise through deception and disinterest to orchestrate the creation of a global government, interfaith and commercial Empire. For those courageous or situationallly aware humans willing to admit the season, all know that we have arrived.

Men with power, money and a following seek something other than God’s Will for mankind. They are sufficiently convince and deluded to the notion that somehow they may disobey, avoid or ignore God’s commands and prophesy and alter creation to reflect their own image, not that of Imago Dei. They don’t want to look or act as God they want to replace or be their own god to the detriment of all those unfortunate enough to fall within their sphere of influence.

The dilemma is not what may be done about it for it may not be avoided, ignored or denied any longer for the hunter always comes for the prey. In a worldly competition for assets we are unfortunately seeking to consume some of what they desire and that makes us the enemy simply by needing to survive. We are the filthy eaters that divide, diminish and compete for all that they may own and control.

The joy of mankind’s struggle is that God has already foretold the end and the outcomes for mankind. Not to establish fear as the guiding principle or doom as our outlook but to encourage those who will have faith in Him and the solutions that are already in place to an assured eternity. That simply demands and requires belief. So it is the belief and reliance upon a God we cannot see if we are not looking to provide for a future that is visibly threatened by those who proclaim or deceive humanity into believing they are in power.

Certainly, those who make trillions of dollars to some extent are in control of the physical assets of our continued health, wealth and human maintenance. We cannot eat vapor or dreams and those with children rationally understand that water, clothing and a meal do not simply provide themselves and those in power who claim philanthropy have now been determined to have their own interests at heart in the transfer of wealth to the needy.

What we can do we are reluctant to undertake; surrender, prayer, gratefulness and Trust in God to provide, protect and fulfill promises that we must hold as guarantee against the lust of men to become their own gods. It is not that we deny them the right to be that self-oriented or fulfilled but it is impossible to worship them and look to man for our fulfillment without taking our rightful eye from God.

See, the cat always comes for the mouse. Especially, as populations grow when the assets to feed the cat appear/actually are scarce. For then, men are forced by their own perception and heart to make a decision driven by what they say governs all humanity; survival of the fittest. We unfortunately, perhaps judiciously are now ruled by men of this predetermination.

To them no amount of land, money or future’s leverage will give them peace for they have none. We are a threat, whether real or perceived to the continued and perpetual increases that to which they aspire. This is why mankind must reach a point of leverage upon known assets/answers to arrive at our current predicament. As Jesus prepared to ascend He told His disciples that they would always have the poor but that He was leaving and to cling to that scarcity of Christ.

What you do with your last sack of grain and the last drops of water is how you view the importance of humanity, whether as a challenge to personal ambition or as members of God’s Family for whom He has promised to provide. Do we view/deal with humans through the lens of Christian faith or as threats to our own fulfillment of internal drives and desires? That is a very tough question and will rarely if ever be asked in public setting for most people do not want you to know their answer.

The hunter will always come for the prey. That is until the Father, Provider and Source of Human Hope, Forgiveness, Peace and Life has returned to fulfill all promise. Can You Endure for it will certainly test your desire to consume others to get what the Me desires? We have reached a wonderful time that demands an answer to this question of Who each of us worship; Whether God and His promises or self and our bellies, plans and scarcity valuation?

Visions, opinions, vastly different descriptions of Earth, Sky and Heaven. What is it that we really want out of this life? Like it or not, believe your experience unique, there still remain a limited number of options to finish a set of challenges over which you have little time to prepare. None of us paupers in the talents and gifts department which, surprising in itself means that there is some management insight or thorough understanding of the requirements.

Many defer to the use of the name architect. Duly recognizing their penchant for technology or scientific scholarship, even acknowledging the liberal role of arts and imagination. Yet, this presents dilemma surrounding the recognition and existence of a set of plans, a rolled scroll of evidence necessary to admit an author by rummaging, analyzing and recognizing the careful crafting of each specie. Never surrendering to the fact that all this may have taken seconds.

Let’s for acknowledgement sake say this life, however long or short is the end of each existence or even the opposite that we are cast into a set of learning lives, each ending in a recycle. Does that show some faith in a designer or is it simply a mindless set of proteins caught in a controlled loop sponsored by interactions of matter? Would that be wonderful to have a nearly infinite chance to make and redo each of our mistakes, loves lost or missed opportunities?

It still maintains that at the end of that prescribed, unled or managed cycle it simply ends without a judgment, without a plan without a plateau predefined at which our lives are forfeit. Or does it in fact simply imply that there must be a judge, that this judge is beyond the time limits of mortality as He/She/It must be present when you have “finished the cycle”, met the criteria or played out your offering of available practice lives? Who decides try as you might you will never make it.

And what of the goodness quotient that is arbitrarily assigned by man deeming himself capable of saying we deserve the hereafter? How many are self justified or caught in the vortex of works hoping at the end to here the buzzer or bell sound deeming us good enough for afterlife? There are so few options I sympathize with the enemy’s dilemma. Denying imminent judgment, leaves a narrow prospectus of opportunities for completion of elevation. In fact assigning a level of achievement leads to the same quandary in each life. How much is just enough?

The only rational design, assuming their is a designer is for the designer to either establish the measure of goodness up front if in fact that will be the sole deciding factor or to remove self achievement as criteria for advancement. If I can never do anything to earn my way then I am forced immediately into a path of relationship that includes my maker in each day I live. For if He/She/It is the only one to determine my qualification then I must keep that perspective clearly in my sights that I remain on the right path.

Additionally, we must reconcile with the meaning of the impossible and the limitations of talent, time, treasure and technique available to man to overcome those issues beyond mortality. For example, when the wages of a single sin is death, then I can never pay that debt as it will demand my end in earning it. This makes tremendous logical sense when dealing with Divinity. The designer must see the value in forgiveness and provide an avenue to wave, cancel or pay that sin debt being the only one capable of achieving the impossible.

As well it must be done either in magnanimity or expectation of some asset creation in the process making it worth while to remove/pay the debt that no man can afford. It immediately leads the creation to know something of their creator. For it raises the immediate question of why the Creator would consider this process beneficial to either party when it appears so one sided. Worse yet it calls into question the idea of being reincarnated as even greater nuisance, having to maintain a Godly patience level commensurate with each person achieving fulfillment. And what of the slow learner?

No the only path forward is a correction of the path behind. That, having already been acknowledged as impossible debt for temporary man to pay, then two things become crystal in clarity; one God wants us to complete the path only He can achieve and two, since He gets to set all the limiting ranges or criteria it is only something we get to choose solely based on the regulations He prescribes. To end the Debt we need God’s power, to get to the hereafter we need that debt paid in this lifetime, we cannot do it ourselves and are fully dependent on God’s determination of our worthiness.

Let’s say for the sake of understanding that He already published and declared all the parameters and ranges of performance/choice for all to know? He has clearly shown and made known that to break the bond of this temporary life we must be found consistent with those per-determined directions. And furthermore He has made it entirely based on surrender, humility, faith and obedience to those parameters. Then He has established that there is a time limit that no one but He knows so that each of us must be mindful of making that decision with ample time remaining.

Then as a twist of disobedience each person suffers the Loss of that clarity leaving them turned over to make up their own version in substitute. And left over time to this imaginary existence they are completely turned over to the sinful state from which only His Plan may release them. And all the time there are those of each belief parameter, some believing themselves worthy of near infinite reincarnation to have multiple attempts at getting works right, other believing themselves good enough or will achieve that arbitrary goodness that they themselves have determined or their idol policy demands.

See how messy it becomes. The only cleansing grace that the Holy Spirit provides the sole voice outside of published scripture notifying people of the invitation to accept the gifting. This explains our world and the environment/fields ripe and ready before our vision. All are offered, all are worthy, none have to achieve either through works or repetition. The simplicity of design is its complexity. That all we have to do is accept a gift to get the greatest reward any of us may achieve in temporary existence. Yet, we want to rescue complexity from the simple being able to feebly and briefly say that we did it our own way.

Not about what I want Lord, I have disobeyed, willingly ignored as if I didn’t hear or know your commands and dishonored your name by my prideful sins throughout this life. Even now standing in the Good Courage of Your Holy Spirit, I must admit my lack of readiness for your presence. Please forgive me, instruct me, allow me the opportunities to choose right over wickedness and Your Will over my own.

This shame was made for me to wear, though even now I know that I will be washed clean of memory and guilt, I respect this pain as it reveals how much I hate offended You Father. In My moments before learning and making change let me reside in the full soul pain of my error that I may remember until necessary the dishonor to Father and Family. I am not that man anymore and don’t ever want to be again.

Grace is not exception of excuse for unGodly behavior of worldly will and impulse. You clearly did not give me this gift that it may cover my sin in continued expression but that it would cover me in Christ’s righteousness that I may be forgiven and remain in Your Presence. This time in the world is precious that I may find shame in what I do and joy in what I do not. After all this is the one chance I have to be conformed to the image of Jesus.

Desperately I want to get it right. Having done so much wrong in the past and even now continuing to err or omit in sin it is my lasting desire to be free of the pestilence and offal of man’s desire. My tears are for humanity to live absent the sins of mankind and our collective/individual past. To live truly as a family in forgiveness and without regret. For none have fallen short and all may remember and understand the pain that You must feel.

Father, I know that I have upset probably more times than is possible to recall. I not only ask forgiveness but sanctification to end this ridiculous process that hurts everyone. Perhaps I should rejoice in this pain as it is the only way and perhaps the evidence of Your Love just as Joy is the evidence of Your Holy Spirit? I certainly do not know everything right now, but this I do know that I want to get it right tonight.

Anticipating the directions God may lead in the coming days. This ministry needs a fixed home port of departure and return, not something that requires maintenance, rents or the exact bills that compete with ministry dollars every month. This ministry requires the readiness flexibility to go when and where the Holy Spirit directs rapidly departing and returning on His Planning and Schedule. It must be in a secure building where ministry supplies and living accommodations may maintain in dry standing for the length of each mission. This small RV is in most ways sufficient but lacks the storage which must be paid for on a monthly basis again creating the wrestling match for limited finances.

The options are clear and the requirements rational and realistic. As I continue to age with no standing legacy it is clear that my capacity to travel God willing will carry endemic challenges that must be accepted and accommodated. Having existed without healthcare for over twenty years is doable but requires a clearer focus on holistic living, eating right, exercising and maintaining peak health baseline as the environments into which I am injected are never healthy. As my veteran’s status is the only pathway to healthcare I must be located in an environment that wherever I go experiencing the flexibility of local care is not only an option but verified with the VA.

Praise Your Holy Name. May Your Will alone be accomplished through any surplus or shortage in conduct of This, Your Ministry. May my Words be consistent with the Bible Truth and may the words of my mouth be tempered, righteous and gentle. We both know Father that this is where I receive the greatest chastisement from my Loving Father. As the World Winds Down Lord may I find a body of believers consistent with Your command for the Body of Christ. May I serve them and in so doing serve You as we sharpen Saints, Conduct this ministry and edify the Body of Christ. Father I am not wanton and know that You will always give me or take from me those things alone that I am meant to have for Your Good Purpose. May my heart always be filled with joy whichever confronts this Shepherd. May I only be alone as You direct, not as my own defense or heart choice, for Your Word says this is not good.

Considering this criteria in my prayers the following is what I ask of God and know that He will always provide something beyond my own imagination. I need a building, covered site with security fence and people living there to keep an eye out for the RV as I lock and leave it to go on missions. Christ is coming back soon. I will allow each of you to define soon in your own vernacular understanding as it is for each of us to determine our own essential readiness. Father God, I need to find the minimal rent, gift or joint ownership of property allowing this Pastor to come and go as You Command. I need Electric, Water, Internet, Sewer and Gas connections that may be maintained in periods of departure and return. Lord I stand in good courage that You will provide for all of my needs in Your Riches and Glory in Christ Jesus. May You attenuate my limited planning and imagination.

Lord please direct and provide for Divine Opportunities to include those that give me work to pay for ministry along the way fully knowing that the relationships will be for Your Good outcomes. We are entering a time where people, PRAISE YOUR NAME are finally investigating what it means to turn their hearts back/toward You. Amen and Amen. We pray to be included in rapture and if we find ourselves left behind during wrath we pray for the endurance to evade, defend against and resist the deception that faces the World. Regardless, may all remain on the Skinny path to You, enduring in Good Faith and Joy all that we must confront in our joint suffering with Christ Jesus. Until we are with You forever let us run this race as we plan to win.

Would you start with once upon a time, a time when things were different? Would you search for large words with multiple meanings so you could please your ambition sector? What plot would you muster, hopefully something that made for hot pages, multiple clicks, re-posts and subscriptions to pay the master of your fame? What picture do you picture on the cover of the book for which you will accept an advance? What if the entire thing being about you is simply narcissistic imagination?

Would you begin with anonymous members, maybe only revealing a little about them to entice the loving acceptance of the viewers? Perhaps, painting yourselves as main character embellishing truths and erasing irascible defects in your projection of greatness? Maybe a love interest too beautiful, wealthy and smart to confess, but we would assure you that it had been pried from your reluctant humility? Would it demonstrate your self release as captive to dangerous enemies of fear and trepidation?

No this one is not going to follow the track of making me a hero. It starts out with a failing marriage, loss of a good job where everyone hated me and moving across the country just to try and save something that I never even had. What’s worse this all happened because I chose a path of my own will instead of listening and waiting upon God’s Direction. Simple conclusion from the outset; never needed to happen. My mistakes would turn to something good but not of my according, only because God promised to turn things to good because I love Him and walk according to His purpose.

There’s no proud fable, no worthy expectation and all the drama surrounding heroic characters, just never happened. I sought attention having determined that the love of God was neither sufficient nor the greatest thing that continued to happen to me every day. I gave up Divine Opportunities to mingle with the loser found in myself and those who needed this emotional cripple to save them from their nightmare. A recipe destined for the trash can at the end of the Kitchen counter.

Exchanged pearls for swine and nearly had to eat the pods I fed them but for God’s timely intervention. He just said, “Let Go”. I understood since this chaos was of my own choosing that I could also choose not to participate and step away. Novel idea to someone who had been trained to stick with things no matter what. This time the best and only answer was retreat, so I listened to God and readied for transition. I didn’t simply choose a different place but having lived through the level 5 hurricane that just hit this place that should not have been my home, I wasn’t forced to leave but the place I was living in was destroyed, so why not?

Start again, over, next iteration, leaving behind the clingy past of my own creation, having never known anything else but rejection, that is what I naturally thought I deserved. The weird thing is the people who I stepped away from held on, that took a while to understand. I hear advice about loving yourself enough not to be in toxic relationships, but this wasn’t that. This was something of the Lord waking me from the unconscious practice of repeating the same insanity because I didn’t know any other script available.

The difference was this time I got to know myself and I didn’t like at all what I saw. Accidental courage, misunderstanding of the measures of Godly character and separation from anything that I loved because nothing loved me. That is not a victims admission just a cold hard fact. No one needed, wanted or absolutely felt compelled to recover me in their lives. That brutal fact was mostly about me and much more about them. The people who had used, berated, bullied, burdened and promised to know love when they were incapable, just as I had been.

Only in the works of God had I found love, real love for the wounded people, the victims, prisoners and vulnerable of this world. Certainly I found them primarily in homeless ministry, but drug, alcohol, family division, bankruptcy, church, every where I went I found people truly in need of healing, forgiveness, love and redemption, me included. For once I didn’t want anything from them and they didn’t have the opportunity to deceive me into believing that they matched the hole in my heart. I cried out to God and met Him, first on my own limited understanding of Sovereign then as I grew I saw His image in me and everyone else.

What would this story be about now that it started out in absolute frailty and the indecision of emotional immaturity? Well, it would be about anything but me or so I thought, because a man cannot escape inclusion in God’s revelation of why he was made. Surrender is a pleasant place when you’ve found even in your most glorious moment the same aspirations and failures that ruined all roads behind. For the longest time it was all I could do to hang on and follow Jesus. I am not saying that I had a clarity of purpose or understanding I only knew that His was the only way to something outside the pains of this existence.

Gradually, that transformed as the healing of God’s hand reshaped me. I began to see ahead of the normal march of this temporary existence. God’s Word, Prayer and the Holy Spirit showed me that I could express the gift of free will choices to navigate the river of my own existence. God let me be part of what He is doing for Creation, because He loves us often more than most people are capable right now of understanding. For years I have been chastised, reconditioned and allowed to make right choices where previously I had no alternative or option.

The loneliness turned to a deeply respectful transformation into a man who was okay by himself. Irony, for that is all I had ever experienced and now it was a strength a peace that came from chatting alone with the Almighty, reading His Word and seeing the people that He allowed me to heal, encourage and bring to the same peace in Jesus. I lost my self defensive posture, designed in desperate times to take out the threats to vulnerability. This man didn’t need them as God fights for me in a spiritual war where carnal weaponry is nothing more than foolish understanding or doubtful faith.

There are heroes in this story, but none emerge from the catacombs of prior need for avatar and escape. Clean, clear and okay with limited resource because there is an internal promise in serving God as anointed. What does Trust in God provide for the human who is always struggling to meet need? Well the Holy Spirit’s patience changes us into people who are rarely wanton. What does that mean the Pharisee said to the centurion. That is what arrives when you believe God’s promises that you find peace in knowing that He will provide all that needs provision, close every wound in exact timing and build in each heart a quest for the eternal. What Story, This One, the One that He is writing in which we are all main characters.