The eaves listening, dressed against December wind search whistles and fallen bow, evidence of coming promise. Childish and child like, the seed burrows deep into Earth meant for prosperity to mount crop of amber grains, timber and starlit evening.

Mourning the youth of stronger minds. Copper tinted majesty, lost the rose-silk swell of dreams yet laid to rest. Where hearts and kindled fire lay in wait for those wanton souls who would embrace fear, exchanged for everlasting. The wild will never pays the tab.

Leave for morning light’s cache. The untold sweet tooth of life’s pampered moments. Walls breached by cold and truncheon plowed. Treasured boxes and chest full of metal’s rare, compare sunlight to darkened pitch. Left stories untold, never having rightly considered.

Tree wells in solace of moonless abandon. Pines and dented tin giving love and life where men has seldom reasoned. What crops born in the milky light? Ten million engines fired by the simple living Word. Washed against the helm, deep and rocky shore of time’s reluctance.

What winter wish fills the gloved mittens of woolen resolution? Standing against the threat of death to remark briefly on the souls of light. Steel and passion’s purse gaining fables in the tablets and rashly gathered journal to storm the parties with word and honey-looted rhetoric.

Echoed cries to shame the fear and sadness. Pockets bare left for better men and childless wives. The reproach and missive spoken against the wiles of darkened thinking. Making pacts with eyes, thoughts and devils men are always hanging on the edge of abandon

If I said that I could help you would you simply follow lead?

Everything is choice for that is the greatest gift God has given. Thus the expression of our loving respect for His Sovereignty we choose to lay aside our choices to pursue the things He calls righteous.

What is human credibility? Does it more closely match my version or aspiration than the historical reliability of the speaker or written word? Do I in fact eschew men of credibility perceiving that following their lead will not give me what I desire? Of course.

Modern man struggles with His source of Truth. It’s not a news flash to say that we wrestle with the source and credibility of its origin. If we remain skeptical of everything, then each decision will be timely delayed until ample thinking has been extinguished to determine data reliability.

There are so many who view Christian men as incredible. Not the mistaken sense of the word which imparts an awesomeness but the root of it which means “unbelievable”. Perhaps it is the hypocrisy of comparison when viewing their lives and their words side by side?

Each of us aspires to be believable that when we truly attempt to make a difference in this world we have efficacy and receipt. Perhaps, the origin of the lost credibility of Christian men is their source? So often we see their appeal to this reliable content or that historical tome, yet we struggle with people turning away too soon.

Most will argue because they have been seeded with deep distrust of those who would poison their minds or demand their obedience to logic. However, there are few who have found a pure source of data, thinking and repair that never fails.

Many seek it in universal consciousness believing somehow that thinking may never be tainted, poisoned or willfully twisted to produce less than favorable or unhealthy. They open themselves to a world view of consciousness, openly acknowledging the existence of “good and evil” or “yin and yang” of opposing ideas and think themselves the only arbiter or proper police of thought.

Being open to ideas is a willful vulnerability. Tolerance for example makes one pliable by choice to the Kidnappers and miscreants of fallen ambition. Opening doors to previous unconsiderable content brings with it the dangers and should engage the defenses and filters of logic, peace and hope.

For instance, assuming there are in deed enemies camouflaged in kindness or “wearing sheep’s clothing” as they were, we automatically proffer defenses against infiltration against person, people and promise.

When consciousness is perceived as righteousness we are vulnerable to the ideas which appear helpful but plant insidious or odious intention. An example are the dangers of suggesting to children that decisions about sexuality, gender and personhood are fluid and do not require a mature mind to discuss or determine.

Enemies of mankind will always seek to influence the most vulnerable or ill prepared for the onslaught of malformation that accompanies poorly protected kernel of self awareness and identity. Now back to Christianity. Without the protections, filters and mature understanding of God’s Word Christian men, being the seat of leadership in their families are willfully distributing potentially dangerous ideas to their people.

Why, because Christians have determined the baseline that the Word of God is the Only Reliable Truth that will never steer its reader astray of healthy living. It is reliable and credible at each testing removing the need for cupbearer, each of us being fully confident of God’s Provision for our souls.

Why are we struggling in our marriages, our relationships, our business and our families? Because, we remain stuck in the quagmire of clay associated with believers who are Bareans of God not of man. We question God and not our neighbor or stream’s of consciousness because the latter represents our quest and test of Freedom, a concept we hold near and dear to heart even above our belief in God.

Freedom is always associated with choice. Choice is the beginning of relationship with God. We cannot have a relationship with God until we have made the choice of our own fallen state and the immediate recognition of our need for redemption from that fallen state. The choice to follow God demands that we open ourselves, in supplication, vulnerability and Trust of His Gospel Word.

This presents a greater problem of our day, fully prophesied in the Bible regarding our times that of the false teacher. The dangers of interpretation of God’s Holy Word through a poisoned teacher is rationally one of those defense mechanisms that must be deployed to keep us safe, holy and blameless before the Throne of God.

Reading the Word, ingesting God’s; Immutable, Trustworthy and Holy Word is far removed from the eloquence or tainted understanding and expository intention of men of ambition. Therefore we are not to filter or subject God to skepticism but are fully capable and wise to apply this filter to the men and women who provide second hand interpretation.

If you are to view me as credible then you must compare what I have taught, preached or posited as Holy with the Word of God. That comparison is righteous, just as the comparison with streams of consciousness or energetic thought. The only line of Truth is its consistency with the Absolute Truth of God’s Word.

God is not capable of Sin, I am. Jesus had no sin, that is not true of Mary, Paul, Peter or John. They cannot be viewed as the same origins. That is why the eye witness testimony and Holy Spirit inspiration of the New Testament are paramount. They are giving an account through man’s eyes of the supernatural. Therefore, it is found to be consistent with every Word God has uttered for man’s edification.

Therefore, the Holy Spirit is pivotal in determination of Truth and Consciousness of today’s worldly dogma. He alone provides the Divine; Discernment of hearts, minds and intentions. Without His defense against the deceptions of the Arch Fallen we are babes alone in the woods of malcontent. His consistence with God’s Word is our first and last line of defense against that deception.

Am I credible then becomes a measure of how closely I adhere to that immutable power of God’s Holy Word. As we struggle to be acceptable to man it is easy to forget our footing and try to be consistent or likeable to the world, open or tolerant as they put it to the swollen substitution of Consciousness as our guide when it in fact present our greatest inherent danger.

In peaceful, ticks and tocks of exhalation my heart awaits primal sounding. Awakened by bell’s walloping clapper, sending shivers and pulse through a body made apparently for naught but slumber. Emotions are not free and beg the payment of broken wishes, memories and things gone to a place of yearning. Oh to the cowardice of man and beast unwilling or unable of making payment or challenging debtors prison.

We played so long at thought, it sponsored a belief that we had become master when we had yet to find ourselves servant. Wicked relief in the depth of untended or challenged meditation upon relief and resolution. Pleading with all that holds itself aloft we begged for posterity and promise. Finding nothing but bruised understanding and corporate bankruptcy we fought to be set free by those who found emotions a playground.

Gave in to the pulse and tender of mendacity, lying to self and anyone who would bother, I sought to convince the world I am steadfast. But broken whispers and chants of false bravado relieved me of my appellate. Made public spectacle as most who find comfort in prideful aspiration. No remorse for those fearful of attempt. I plodded, clopping grand Clydesdale hoof upon payment praying distraction from tears aptly fallen.

These are the treasure men never know they’re seeking. When things became the real gold of humanity and life well or poorly felt. The sorrows, loves and yes the failures leading to losses never recovered and metals pinned upon the breast of those who discovered everlasting. Tall order for man to find himself unblemished or tainted by the wishes of a man who seeks escape, when the world’s gift is the pain and the pleasure of the temporary.

Falling to embrace, knowing the sour nights of fear and everlasting to remember with cause the source of exasperation. What light without the darkness expelled or show asunder? What day without the fear and solitude of nights without comfort? What heat without the coldness of bone and blunder seeking control of those things which are meant to martial men? Into the depth of loss and kind remembrance I am happily, gratefully submitted.

No say so. Will retreat to never be accused of the evils with the world has so effectively wounded/contaminated your heart. There is no criticism in loving care only a desire to protect and heal.

You were not sought out. Coming voluntarily as you approached, seeking to answer the call of Spirit upon that heart, how then is anyone wrong in trying to provide comfort, encouragement and council?

Appears to be no win situation. However, even if there is fault gainfully admitted it will be turned to good by God for loving Him and seeking His Purpose. You sought, the best was done in offer of that direction.

Just a broken vessel of humanity answering the Call of God upon this heart to tell the wonderful story of a healing Gospel none of which was written in this man’s poor penmanship. Acknowledged failure before starting.

These are not the miracles of men but the elements of God’s Power given by prayer, fasting and supplication before the throne. Never pronounced or formed retribution or curse, merely wishes for conformity to God’s Will for each of us.

Never could save ourselves. No false sense of piety or power that somehow any idea I proffer may save us from anything this world seeks to infect. Jesus is the only name that saves no matter the perspective.

Frozen in the fragments and memories of worlds toppled, ideas squandered and assets lost for the simple quest of self elevation. There is no world where the things you would accuse are in any way consistent with God’s Will.

The World is doing what it must, infected by sin, tainted, unholy, fields ready for the harvest and return of Christ Jesus. This coming Wrath is not of the enemy but of God for though patient for the ages He has had enough. Nearly time to return to collect His Bride and set the foundation for Everlasting Rule and Reign upon the Throne of Father’s Promise. Nearly time for the Name above All Names to be worshiped in the Glory deserved before Time itself began.

Out of sync. That is understatement and even now the presence of God’s Holy Spirit in the body appears the rare state of man. The Body, having been deceived into false worship and departure from sound doctrine is run by and entrusted to the false prophets, teachers and men who would usurp a position next to or above the Father. All is wrong when marking twain of our hearts we know the world to be inconsistent with all that is right and True.

Fooled by my own self-idolatry. Believing that this heart is the only one remaining without the taint of wickedness. All that is good within or about me came from the heaven’s above. There is no righteousness in my own will but in my desire and unwanton comfort in the Will of God, doing the works set before me by His Passion and Provision. Fool no more, having sought the wisdom of God’s Promise that I may buy that which is beyond the tempt and eye value of Gold.

This life is nothing to write home about, leaving me emptied, displeased and unfulfilled in the gathering of all that it promises is the pinnacle of worldly existence. I don’t belong and though that should bring sadness it gives me joy to look forward to the country that is coming. Knowing that yearning, gnashing of heart and teeth is not my quest for separation but the promise of an everlasting Home in the presence of God Almighty. For that I am filled to overflowing with Righteous Joy and Spirit.

Nearly time, not simply a feeling, but matching the Word we were given of all that has been, IS and WILL BE. The season is upon me and I cannot put to insufficient word the presence of Joy beyond description. Perhaps it is the knowledge that each time this joy appears it is that wonderful invitation to walk In/With the Spirit that dwells within me. As Temple of God’s presence I am acquainted with Him, by Him and through Him in each step, Word or faithful action taken. Yes, Nearly there, Nearly there.

Awakened to see the cause of my mortality. Testing the breezes by the length that it appeases me. When I go morphing, I am surprised by transformation. In the beginning the light was awaiting a command. I try to understand. If none of it were planned. How are the cannons always manned the sand so ready to ride in every pocket or slip through every hand? It’s time to find a band to flame the fires that we’ve fanned.

Sitting up to sip from my favorite cup. Hands the only appendage warmed, the mystery is formed in passion and twisting the plot keeps resisting as my tears begin misting, coffee two-fisting. The riddle becomes unwound without damsel or loud sound. I see tomorrow become today without a word about the play, no matter the words I think to say. Silence comes upon the lambs the ewes and then the rams. It is easier to end this way.

Seek and you will find clear your will and then your mind if you ere don’t hit rewind for the prayers that you’ve opined. Take it all before the throne as you’ve never once remained alone tripped each time upon cornerstone your brief life is not your own. He finished on the Cross all behind we count as loss existence without the sauce never having been the boss. Future way too sweet on that day we soon shall meet on my face before those feet last chapter now complete.

All along thought myself right looking blind into the light, in all apprehension in wrought surface tension my theories were upheld, the metals that we weld the peanuts that we’ve shelled cast the sheep all neatly belled, the pigs into the sea He said that it should be without question or ripened plea. The devils must come out with a prayer a fast or shout on my shoulder resides the clout telling stories all about, GOD.

What does it feel that breath beyond the possible? When dreams built of fantasy are replaced by content based foundation. Men describe that which is beyond stars, around mountains, found in desert passage to realms only thinkable.

A wink, nod, gesture or relief when all has been given, traded or dealt. The final card tossed, waiting for that quiet name to pass the lips of auctioneer. Excited children promised a mid summer night’s dream only now knowing the impossible.

We sing in voices found outside experience, deeper that cavities rich and muscle’s trained for season. New words as plums ripen, sweating in the promise of cool, autumn eve. Where are the days left to ponder or reason when all is foretold?

No longer reaching for subtle untold embrace but coveting the rich hugs of tomorrow and the day after. Fellows fond and welcome ladies having readied for prayer and a delight in worshiping the King. For there are some things unquestioned.

Amber’s roasted and turquoise tickled by the first morning fallen. Hidden in the Jalapeno forest, soft and supple sweet but caution to the welcome palate. Dive down to bottoms sounding cautious of the skin to rock or never coming back.

Then and whence we are beckoned and respond. Found in the wakeful days of memory when all was new, fresh and out of the ordinary. Trusting the familiar until our hearts remain sickened. We were promised that which resides beyond the knowing.

Times I tried to say words that would repair. Nothing seems to heal, nothing changes and I only succeed in upsetting things further. In sight of my continued failure I simply release you to find whatever answers God has hidden for you to discover. At least this frees me from blame, but the obligation to pray calls me to ask God for intervention. May you find the Peace and Patience that for so long has evaded you.

These are the days before everlasting. The most frustrating moments calling the body to give up their exasperating dependence upon the thoughts, hand and works of man. If we could have solved this dilemma it would not have taken us thousands of years wondering around the same labyrinth. Now we turn to You clear heart and minds knowing that our trust and faith in Your resolve and loving plan our hope.

Men have lost their way or struggle to find it, begging, pleading and searching for truths beyond self. Denying our objectives, worship and self recrimination as solutions caught in the thicket of self-dependence. Time reveals to each of us the desperation of self-reliance. Our answer forever reside in Trust In You. Though men will test the ages and repeatedly believe that their answers remain at our fingertips in the lasting quest of the next set of works of independence. You Alone Are God.

Today, I admit my weakness of the flesh and mind of this temporary seed. In so doing I recall and realize the power beyond my self. Grace is peace in the presence and sealing fire of Spirit. Nothing escapes me this day, this place of power and peace sitting within Spirit. Not to be used for realization of self or my own will but the overwhelming faith in the summation of Your Will, not simply for me but for every man You Know.

This is peace, knowing that nothing is beyond completion. This is patience knowing that every work shall prevail, every seed shall grow. My quest for good dirt is ample ambition. Father let each of us go forth and plant fields of ten thousand time a thousand where the everlasting impact is beyond our recognition but feeding the courage necessary to continue. May the power and warming Grace of Your Hope fire each heart to revival and eternal pursuit of presence. In Jesus’ Name let this and every day be that day.

Open. Nothing to say. Listening. Hoping that this is the time to be free from remaining encumbrance.

Sorry and sad for the hurt. The images of pain I have caused You and my Family. Unjust or absent reasoning.

Visible bruise evidence of internal illness and poison. May all be surface bound in the days I have remaining.

Just to be forgiven? Or truly repentant? Only You know this heart for we know I often fool myself with thinking.

Reductions must be simple. Laying bare the foundations of self control and mastery. Teach me to remain free.

Lord take me and use those rewards that others may be known at heaven’s gate. To find ending and beginning.

Thank you for teaching the origin of Love and why it is the only principle suitable for everlasting promise.

Cast all out that belong not at this table. Including the wounds and undying victims of my jostled heart and hearing.

Being made again over and over until this pottery meets Your crafting. Let me shine the only light worth seeing.

Tried to be gentle, but when it was evident that persuasion and kindness would never reset as God commanded, merely frustrating the flesh as some refuse to listen. I knew that to be true to God’s Command I had to utilize some of those lesser respected parts of my self. No sarcasm, no beating around proverbial bushes, I would have to border cruelty and be honest that attachments brought me nothing but sorrow and continued mourning a loss that was not of my doing. You see when people leave a ministry in a way that does the most possible damage, there is certain forgiveness but the reality of reconnection is only achieved by God’s direction through, repentance, humility, supplication and renewed commitment. These were never going to happen with someone entering the ministry to fulfill personal outcomes. Therefore the hard route was the only route. As with acceptance of Grace it must be done by choice which was your volition.

It does not matter that someone thinks it foolish that I would be upset in knowing that someone each day is reading my posting, watching my studies and sharing in the gifts of spirit through this ministry after this Pastor being told he was no longer needed was akin to soft psychological stalking. After many requests to move on it was painfully clear that after one year it was never going to happen without authority and provocation. I am thankful that the Lord has today given back that personal space to share my thoughts without adjustment or consideration regarding who may hear them. When I write I write from the Spirit it is impossible to flow with that gift knowing that someone is interpreting, analyzing and standing at established distance waiting for what, Opportunity to hurt this Pastor or the ministry once again? People if you don’t want to walk with God listening and conforming to His Spirit, Word and Pastor, then go your way. No need to cling to that which you have deemed reprehensible. That being the sole authority of a Pastor to step away from a situation it is a power play to maintain links between us.

Love fails in one instance; when the parties serve different objectives having no shared commitment. In a Christian mission that is anathema to both God and Pastor for all involved must have as their first love God Almighty. This ministry is Christ’s not mine therefore the anointing and responsibility to conduct it as God demands is paramount to my own comfort or expectation. Seeing myself depart one or more footfalls from that direction breaks my heart for it means that I am asserting a greater love than God. You knew that this outcome was not possible and told me to go away. Painfully/Joyously I agreed, leaving you to pursue whatever wherever you were inclined, forgiving and leaving you in God’s Care. However, I was not allowed the same freedom. What appeared innocent or friendly contact threw me back immediately into reflection, prayer and contemplation/meditation upon issues upon which I thought finished, In a word is was unfair and an egregious expression of disrespect and power manipulation. I told you that I would wait in council for a period but that at some point I would cut the cord and move on. My birthday was that day, one year since I was told you wanted nothing more to do with this Pastor. That is the reset.

I have lost weight both physically and mentally in the last five days. You see I never like cutting people off it is just not natural for someone who loves as I love. I serve one God, His rules are the only rules that matter and when someone makes a choice I respect it regardless of ensuing pain as I simply understand that with suffering comes maturity. I do not seek prolonged pain associated with separation extended by someone else’s desire to keep tabs or maintain open doors. Some must be closed and never reopened. If there was a possibility to move forward then the Lord would have directed either or both of us, but alas He was clear with me that you were not ready for mutual commitment and understanding. For a Pastor that is saying, “you must leave the ministry to make this friendship, fellowship or family relationship work”. That is never going to happen, so fair wind and following seas as Marines say. I am certain God will direct you to the circumstance that matches your inclination.