Do any of you have it figured out such that you never second guess, so assured that you want it all to slow down that you can show the world? Precise, realistic, measured and complete, a man or woman defined by the glorious statue you’ve erected. To this life, to self to the achievements of a lifetime that all may some come to look upon an effigy of someone great.

You would have all think that and perhaps encourage you, build you up in the daydream, convince and reassure you that you left no stone un-turned, no asset unused, no ground un-tilled or concrete finished. A perfect deployment of recruiting, training, procedure and execution. A story written and read for one similar purpose. To convince each of us that we can get it right.

An example of the temperament that no one seemed to master. Together we struggle to complete something win the unwinnable ring, sing the unreachable note, prove to a world that barely finds the love for themselves that somehow I too should be adored. A man seeking remembrance after his passing from people that really could care for him dead or alive, just to say that we did it.

Never thinking of purpose or design. Relying on the emotional juice we expect when achieving something that wins us nothing but a history that is typically forgotten or changed to embellish to parts too boring. What of the boring moments or riding the wave of this centrifuge that seems intent on gaining speed until disaster rips it apart or a bearing gives out slowing it down to silence?

This is certainly not boring. It doesn’t appear to me that any of us will win at our own plan for extending the discussion of our prowess. What then is the win for man? Is it found in this life or the short few words we leave on a tombstone or a vase? What is it that we truly can esteem as a life well lived that for reasons we all may sponsor should not be forgotten? Who makes that decision?

I know the truth. We all have been hurt, abused, pushed around or bullied others trying to find that effort, that golden pathway to becoming a star of this temporary existence. Yet, as we struggle in that definition we ignore that the entirely wonderful tale sits right there for us in joy and immortality. We have been shown that fulfilling the purpose of our design enlists us and rewards us for everlasting, the very thing we seek but neither individually or collectively find.

Like, love or know your thoughts, for they are with you through the glorious and unkempt. Thoughts of tempting and struggles training or promotion. Dreams of things we want but cannot have, anticipating something better in another thought about how good it will be. The thought constructs but also controls or bids us hand over the reigns sit back from the wheel. Thoughts of joy at putting down your pack.

My back oh that aching whine to opine complaint without restraint as if mining blackest coal from internal mine. Comforting, encouraging, only others for we certainly think ourselves unworthy. Thoughts of past iterations of this life lived, deeply repugnant regret and unforgiveness for those wrongs we couldn’t wipe from our minds. Brief remembrance of joy, an instance or a state, a marriage or a battle of brotherly minds.

An impulse, wondering if it in fact differs from the emotion. A driving wind of fate, destiny or purpose that we believe had to originate from minds greater than our own. A memory seemingly of some other time, a scent, a face an angry tenant scowl. What horrors stored from child hood that we failed to eject into a healthy thought state that governs each human interaction. A time for which we seek present resolution in planning or reaction.

A Whispering Idea, perhaps born of a small quiet voice across the frozen creek of mind, memory and potential madness. Something new, some challenging aspect of our personality that suddenly ignites in the fires of new thinking, bringing hope to the desperate and peace to the unlikely. What action happens without inspiration. Are we mindless creatures capable of governance by emotion or hormone?

Can’t find you doing the old soft shoe, at least not with the parts I remember to. Can’t find peace beneath the window on my knees, climbing up the trim using my hands to offer a prayer and humble pleas. What there was left would be jettisoned as the ship began to leave. Out on the breakers with the salt air and the breeze. Something good about tomorrow is none would ever freeze.

I sing in crescendo a scale in Minor b, thinking for moments that the blues had gotten free. The round is chambered and the moon so big and bright, I shout goodbye to daytime and welcome to the night. But there’s a flavor of caramel and of rum, had I lost all senses been stricken deaf and dumb? I put in two fingers and pulled out the ripened plumb, just as Georgie Pordgie I forgotten to ask for some.

Thinking myself eternal I climbed shoeless over fence, hoping for baked bread or the news for my two pence. Instead I found slumber beneath a piney tree and dreamt of daydreams that were promised ten days hence. All of my memories and dragons were frightening and immense, but I seldom wandered into visions that intense. I smelled of perfumed I know not from where and even less from whence.

A five man band a dance floor and a mic stand, put them together and there are flames ready to be fanned. So I tried tap dance and every fish except the pike, but birds seemed better so I did the Eagle and the Shrike. In my trance of gusto I back handed a midget and the Queen and had to back track to ever bad movie I had seen. First attempted to grovel the embarrassment too much so I told bad jokes recalling memories in Dutch.

I flown much too high my impression Icarus to the sun as my wings melted I knew that this time was the one. So I fell slowly into love as I once had done, the ground came quickly daring me to have some fun. But feather pillows, with hides and some fur pelts exasperation where I thought there would be welts. I sang in Gaelic thinking it appropriate for this moment but before I knew the time to be true had quickly came and went.

See your face when you meet His eyes. I of course will be on my own so I will peak between my fingers. Watch you realize that you are now living forever, healed and made anew for this entirely unique life time that can no longer be defined by time. Watch as you meet your family, your ancestors, your long lost friends and those who are now your Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus from the Bible.

See you fly for the first time. See if you sneeze when you pass through dimensions as if you are allergic. Realize that there are hundreds of thousands of colors you never knew until this moment. That E=MC Squared and so much more. Watch as you represent God in healing, loving, caring for or perhaps even delivering discipline in the millennium for Jesus. Understand fully what it means for you to be in your rightful habitation.

Leave now and have you forget me then show up when you least expect it. This moment is the painful, uncomfortable real moment in which love triumphs over all grudge, unforgiveness, emotional planning or expectation. Wander the breadth of God’s universe seeking who I may serve, growing, watching Changing in whatever it is that He has for me to do for the Kingdom.

Simply sit and listen, no expectation to respond unless asked direct question. Just learn, absorb as the Child I once was, watching, praising with my smiling eyes and Loving without having to describe it in dissertation of explanation. Simply Be for once. Looking forward to what we know that we are all becoming in God’s Presence. Forget evil for a long while but prepare for its next testing of those remaining unawares.

Ask questions that really matter. Not to impress the King but to find out His reasons for everything which have always surpassed my own. To want to anticipate His thoughts that I may better serve. To truly love humans now that I see how much God really loved them. To ride winds that never blew, Sing songs that have no words. And dance with form and enduring strength from a new life that lasts forever.

To see all the children that were torn from us. Speak with those who found their way and ask them how it felt over and over until I can repeat the stories. To find treasures that man never knew, view horizons that were beyond our sight and understand the nature of Light, beyond the scientific definition of packet, wave, plasma or particle. To see Jesus as He is and be like Him forever.

I AM not allowed to say you for it is too convicting to hear the Word of God directed at my own life in reflection or shadow. Jehu, means who is this God. Which God, if one of Love and Fury where is my service through absolute fear?

When a man presumes to become reflection of the Light of the World he will naturally cast that reflection upon the dark things and those hiding their evil deeds in the cover of dark. am i such man? Well the only evidence I give is how the dark reacts and the fruits of God cast upon me.

For I am pitiful before my Sovereign Lord and Saviour, nothing to be esteemed, no presence, no stature, unworthy of praise or honor. Once a box full of my own wicked thought and self pursuit. Now a renewed shell standard without fear in the Light of the World, filled without whatever He would show you.

If it be my continued sin then i am more than previously pitiful. Oh, but if it be the fruit of the Garden multiplied within this heart and mind then what a paradise awaits those who Choose the Saviour.

Where will you be when the rivers converge running underneath the Throne of Jesus?

What is sorrow? What is burnt or unmet, that it would haunt the soul in its absence? What is enough? Why does more always lead to more? Is there a place of quiescence? Does contentment only grow on trees in the millennium? What is the immediate and persistent damage of expectations or a mind map of singular projection? What if we cannot see the golden egg in hand only when it is distant or taken from us as spoiled infants? What is a man who is overjoyed and thankful for everything that is on his plate, whether fat, tasty or filled with sugary delight instead of bland and filling as intended? What is God’s Will for this life and why the struggle to superimpose my own upon something we should assume perfect from outset in Divine Intention? Is this my life I am leading or the greater one I was given when my own thankfully ended on Calvary’s Cross? Should I expect what I expect or is the abrasion found in failure to comprehend the transfer and new alignment with Spirit’s Call?

What is forgiveness or regret? Associative feelings of failure and remorse for having projected this mismatched calling onto everything and everyone that unfortunately comes within my compelling wizardry. What if, novel idea, I let them be what they are not accepting their projections and see them for the treasure that God intended? What if I ignore the unconscious rationale or efforts to achieve their wanton program and just stepped in our out to accommodate sanctification and sharpening? What if I were more like Christ than just the words and found my way to truly love without condition? When is that even possibility for this man so contorted by the things he wants or has been convinced will produce some pleasantry? Is there date of maturity or obsolescence? Is this long suffering allowed for previous generations but for ours date has become due? What then is next in this submission?

Mouths, hearts and unfilled minds or thoughts inconsistent with reality and Divine thinking. Must the machine be fed and when not continually shoveled does it simply stop consuming or demanding this be done? Why is the mystery of the Holy Spirit so pervasive in the Gospel yet the first thing forgotten, the last thing mentioned and the only thing for which we are not forgiven? There is something essential here that we are meant to miss and rewarded perpetually for recalling. What if I stopped right now and concentrated one hundred percent on the model of redemption? Father, having the war ended by Christ now focused on spending covered time in His Presence, knowing that we are no longer fighting but working together for His and my own benefit of Goodness? Son, Learning, recalling, meditating on the Holy Word, staying in prayerful connection across the Twain Man that forever covered the gap between me and Dad. Spirit, understanding that I never could but always will find the Power to withstand or endure as I am graciously sealed for eternity, born again to new reason and transformed by His Struggle with my Flesh and Restraint of all God’s Enemies.

What If?

Someone I most want you to know, to sit with in question or pause that He may know that your heart is His.

A life He didn’t have to give for people who perhaps would never acknowledge His gift of Life, Liberty, Happiness or wealth. There whether your needs were small of great. Walking outside of time He still participated in every date upon your life’s calendar. Wanting know you and waiting for that faithful day He knew that you opened the eyes of your heart to see.

Standing a few feet off wanting for you to close the distance by choice, voluntarily realizing that you always belonged with Him. Tolerating the days the life choices and trials you encountered caused you to storm and shout, even at Him for giving you breath, abundance and yes the pain of people, family and existence. Hills and valleys alike He adored you.

Then came your acquaintance with death, having lost those that you love to tragedy and fate. He comforted you as you again questioned His Love for you not making you and those you loved immortal. Oh, the day that you realized that He had given you all and still you chastised Him for not giving you more. He knew that you didn’t understand Sovereignty and so He forgave, but still your heart remained far away those couple feet remained and grew wider as your heart became bitter with trials, cares, worries and wants. He forgave each slight, but remembered.

Until that day. You had enough of this world and wanted something beyond it. Something you had always known was there but never investigated as you sought relief in all your own pursuits. Then it happened, you saw life, death, passion, joy and pain as part of the same episodic flow through life and saw this life for what it was the chance to prepare for the next. So you did the right thing and turn ever so slightly knowing that He had always been standing just a few feet over your left or right shoulder.

You couldn’t see His face but you saw that everlasting smile, A Father’s Smile, your Father. You knew that He knew you and somehow that made everything alright, no trial too tough, mountain high or cavern too deep because you could now do the impossible. As if in a dream you realize the weight of your own forgiveness was now removed and placed in distant seas never to be remembered except for the times you asked Him how you deserved such grand a gift as Grace.

Is there any way to truly help those in your sphere of love and influence reach the pinnacle to which God calls them? Especially when distance and silence are the only tools on the top shelf of your toolbox? Should these questions even be part of your consideration, contemplation or objective truths?

What then is the small quiet voice? Does He sometimes tell you, and yes it is HE, to stand silently in the background and refuse to mirror His conviction?

What is the table or bed that we claim to have made or set for ourselves? What is the human struggle if not with ourselves and the imposing/interactive catalyst with which this life confronts us? What then are the objectives of this lifetime if any? Is it simply a rash of random occurrences meant for nothing but exasperation? Or do you as I see a position, a family, set of circumstances shaping me, preparing me for something beyond the temporary end of these trials. Are these datasets, these relationships and reactions designed to produce some specific set of character, belief and behavioral changes commensurate and consistent with some under-girding outcomes?

Am I even to ask or may I be excluded from this society praying for its own unconscious self-edifying and worshiping pursuits, pariah of alternative understanding? Is whom do you serve even a good question for this world that claims it knows everything about everything with no circumspection, no corporate caution, plodding with jack boots into a future that we barely grasp? Several thousand years of species does not produce a superhuman set of comprehension, especially when the provided historical evidence shows that we repeat the same mistakes perpetually.

We are being divided by our own choice of beliefs. How is that possible without some omnipresent SPIRIT/apparition with understanding well beyond our own? You do not wish for me to waste your time, well back at you. If we are pursuing a relationship with the Divine? And I say if because it is not for me to determine neither your belief nor your effort to define, inspect and amplify that relationship. However, I am sent as example that Jesus does send those of us who hear and answer the calling upon our lives to tell a CERTAIN TRUTH that only some of us will accept, repeat and amplify to the worlds’ edification.

Accepting that calling as we refer to it means that there is a designated END to this experiment at which point the next begins. Attaining that understanding that there is a specific point at which our choice becomes either null or is significantly diminished, then I would naturally become increasingly ardent in personification of HIS offering as we near the natural end of this iteration in our development.

Therefore, I am urgent and in so being I have less desire to entertain the same obstructive resistive lines of Questioning, but that is a human reflection not one born of Heavenly Seed or Rebirth through the Holy Spirit. So as the transition point nears and the Divine Prompting and exclusion of what HE has said is unacceptable approaches, I will entertain all levels of questioning sincere in making those choices. I am not judge only helper and representative of His Will in this dimension. But please do not waste my time because the only control I have ever had is one of separation which is what God promises for choosing against Him.

I am not an infinite and delightful resource for those having no respect, reverence or desire to ask nicely. So have a modicum of civility it is after all what this world claims separates us from the lesser classes. Thus your elitism should come with an overabundance of tolerance and self-control as you seek to convince, argue or dissuade those of your superhuman group of consciousness against the Lord who so obviously made us and calls us to Him. Is that set of evidences what we see in this world as our transition approaches?

Be Honest with yourself and Your God if you have one. For that commitment to truth is what will lead you to the next iteration of mankind beyond our current capacity for understanding and performance. I believe that the ONLY path ahead is through JESUS. I willingly accept that set of beliefs and the rational understanding that comes along with the Gospel. It means that those who do not share that belief and acknowledge HIM here do not attain that NEXT LEVEL. I acknowledge that many are offering an alternate understanding that denies, ignores or refutes this access and confirmation.

What of it? Do you Hope that I am right? Or do you applaud me as an unnecessary idiot standing here on this hill offering acceptance and explanation for the herding we all feel inevitably? Either way I love you and thank you for reading this passage and trying to think kindly of me for it. I am not the door only a mirror of the light beyond it that beckons all COME. In Jesus’ name.

It seems that simple may be the hardest discipline for my countrymen. As we control and command the Earth we argue about the God and His Sovereign Right to make the rules and judge the Creation He made from His own imagination. We laud our moments of freedom to express our own unique character and the pride of rebellion against His Sovereign Authority when each facet of our freedom, breath and expression is governed by His gifting. Then we argue amongst ourselves and everyone else we can find who thinks differently that our self erected rules, regulation and platforms are somehow the central authority on a God we barely know, recognize or acknowledge. No wonder those express tentative acceptance fear the teeth beneath the calmness of the stream.

Nowadays, we have erected a mist and haze that blends the hues and views of creation into incomprehensible amalgam of human will and fulfillment. We have made ourselves the center of God’s Story, rewriting into some two hundred present versions of the same words to carefully comply with every perspective but God’s. We stroke each other’s shoulder not seeking true compassion or consolation but seeking to control the dollars and dimes in buckets and baskets given perhaps joyously to God but to be used in the sweaty aspiration of a group of would be “tax free” investment professionals. What is wrong with this picture well everything for starters and it just gets worse the deeper one journeys.

We have lost the entry fee of humility to God’s Throne Room. We don’t repent but instruct God on why our sins differ from those who hates and convince those around us that this person they see for an hour on the weekends is real not waxen, feigned and contrived. We want the benefits of being close to God but reduce that relationship to the lesser or remaining moments of Consciousness at the end of each day. Claiming God as our First Love but giving him less time than our animals, our Boss and our golf or drinking cartel. And the true rub is that we are even unconscious in this failure as if we were standing truly before God in prayer we would immediately feel compunction to get prostrate in an instant before a Holy and Righteous God.

How gross our rebellion against simplicity and grace. We were suffering a sin debt whose wages were death that we were offered a one time freedom in the belief upon Christ Jesus then we immediately return to the same or similar sins somehow immediately forgetting the impossibility of self escape that we somehow miraculously circumvented by God’s Sovereign offer of Loving Care. Now we live lives again consistent with our own plans, will and collections teaching everyone around us to follow suit through our ardent example to do as we please, how we want and when we feel like it. All the time ignoring the warning of a Chrystal clear Gospel telling us not to once consider our previous pursuits. How simple does it have to get? How clearly spelled out must it be for us to gather understanding?

We harass a President for not being the appropriate Christian, yet he is the only one wise enough, humble enough and willing to express his belief in God’s Majesty to read a prayer that the richest King of History who stood in the appearance of God telling him that if he failed to believe upon that prayer, repent and healing would occur. What must people do to please our constructed expectations? Our families are good enough so we escape or punish them with our standards and opinions to the point where no one wants to know anyone, nor spend time to learn anything about them. Nevermind construct a functional family operating under collective interest and mutual respect designed to honor God for the gift of any family whatsoever. Then we find someone who will claim that they want to believe and chase them away with a complex social set of regulations designed to make the good members of our self constructed faith. No wonder the body is powerless and the faithful fickle.

This is the time for Godly catalyst. The times ahead of us with be filled with heavenly pressure to the point well beyond our imagination and capacity to resolve or withstand. Yet, we make little preparation instead expending our all energy, imagination and treasure to return things to a time that meet our own expectations and desire. How complex must we make this before simplicity shakes us free from the fruit tree in whose branches we precariously slumber? We are about to meet the Simplicity of God’s Plan. We may be prepared, fearless and humble in our meeting or we may walk into the throne room to be separated from those who understand and fear the Sovereign God. Those having faced environment where we made none of the rules or who feared God from outset won’t need to be rebuked in the presence of God to act right. It will be simple. I will be on my face, praying, thankful and hopeful that His furious and fiery gaze never traces my silhouette but instead greets me in welcome, smile and commendation for work well done. In Jesus’ Name.

Okay to be forgotten when being known cuts your planning to the bone.

They never knew you had what they wanted because you bunted to first.

And while they admired themselves you stole your way to second and third.

Without a word they lost sight of your unimportance in the caramel shadows.

And the umpire jumped in fright as you thanked him for cleaning his plate.

And the bird with a tiny worm of a word taught you that your mind and face were

made to be absurd. Leaning in the leaf told the branch that it had been restraining

its growth. So much so that the trunk had been in a funk and refused to let the ant

reach the top side of the plant. When the hawk saw the stalk it longed to see the pitcher

balk, leaving the crowd to boo so loud that the runner for keeping his foot upon the bag.

The dreaded tag. In a field made of sand, grit and mud the world longs for the greens

of grass and the sky looks down with a little cloud and a frown, knowing the little boy’s

pain each time he falls down. What does flood make of mud said the stone to the worm?

All washed away even the sun and the day leaving the sole fan in the stand with nothing

left to say. He watched and he waited and his quest was abated when the timekeeper

rang the bell and the horn for the day to be reborn. All took long breath, reviving as if from

hours of death with dogs and cokes in their hands they filled up the stands filled with song

and a long whistled sigh as the moments went by and their throats became dry waiting.

Play ball the ump shouted as Spring just begun surprising every one. We wanted no doubt

that the time and shout allowed all the the assumption that they knew what the moment in

Time had always been about. But reason esteemed as all collectively day dreamed for none

had seen the lightning above they fell out of love with the metal seats that occupied each

Space.