Is it you with whom I am meant to argue as if none of us has any say so in the matter? Is it now that I am supposed to fall in line with the scripting that a superior view to my own takes hold and we find our way to the paradigm shift? Is it time to quit, cave, walk away from hope, faith and charity that clearer superior thinking has determined there is a better future than the one we held close? Is it finished as Jesus said in the faithful moment upon Calvary’s Cross?

My leaking heart has spread and left the life blood of this expanse of time pooling in the dormant and frightened dark corners. Mortified, solidified in the quest to run as far and as fast as these throbbing legs will take me from the exceptional review of a life lived in purpose and completion. Tears larger than the hands which hold them poor emotional weakness upon the playing field of this one way journey. Too find a place where hope is broken.

That is not how God penned this dynamic event of our shared moments in this dimension. Living dreams that were spoken by God and Angels that men would have the courage to stand this ground, making it Holy in our worship of the one thing beyond mankind. The One who made us with a handful of dirt and nostrils filled with his breath. He proclaimed us in a moment on the sixth day and yet we refuse to return the courtesy of a mirror. We declare our Kingship.

I suppose that it is the least damaging thing I could do to lock step my way into enacting the least courageous decisions any man could make. Staring down a place, even a minor role in Eternity in exchange for a bunch of people who never liked me approving of my actions on someone else’s behalf. There is no wisdom in our passage, no logic in our clarity and no purpose other than self-loathing in our actions as we exchange truth for lie and everlasting for grains of sand.

Doing it alone, the furthest thing from my imaging and the least desirable as this life has been painfully short on the love headed my direction. Ironic that I spent most of this quest trying to please those who could never ever get enough, holding their cards close to their chest as if love were a bribe, leverage or scarce among humans. I will not be that man, and in fact the rub has been I never could be. Trying so hard to deny that I was the one that loved all of you.

Expecting nothing? Perhaps, but more likely the fee or reward is not available here but hereafter. All I want for you is in declaring that priceless relationship you hear the declaration of His love in return, those wonderful words and the recognition that He admits to knowing you all along. For me this is forgone conclusion. I know where I am going and am so overjoyed at the realization that I must admit I would stay here if He needs me to make that choice.

It’s Time for me to take a look. Valley long and mountain wide. Too early for the morning tide.

Stars and sand each thought etched out. My throat so parched I dreamt that I would shout.

Fate stepped in and was staunch surprised. The fist was caught. The wound just cauterized.

Tattooed lips and tongues thrice pierced. The Belgian simply sighed. Vault door open wide.

Collected thoughts and ideas old. My quest so rare and bold. Never tell the wishing well.

A coin flopped deep no face or tail. Fraud and weakness led to fail. Wanted rain got big hail.

Proxies fought for love and land. One Brigadier could not cope. Rise and run equals slope.

We measured area under the curve. Adding time with plenty nerve. Living life none deserve.

In form and function wore the gown. Got the nose of every clown. Midnight blue teardrops.

Exceptional salute. Idiotic and yet astute. We rose to the occasion with visionary word.

Absurd and bright in the dead of night. Alive for dawn to resume our fight. Torn constitution.

Flags waved above the beach a Bible passage we could not teach. Left lodged in Breach.

Where none could stand and few would go. We wandered waves tossed to and fro. Pebbles.

Marked by time as participants. Active of tribe and race. Each face painted in lines of anger.

Respond to fashion and to norm. Eschewing fantasy of any form. Charm missing in quiver.

Our fingers point to the moon. We thought to deeply and sang too soon. Almost ready.

For you. Those who would have this man conform to a list of arguably predetermined character facets, emotional meme checks and ideological consistencies or risk exclusion from any love offering. There is no requirement of humanity that a man be forced to swallow bait or even participate in this fishing expedition. Men need and deserve love not through qualification or worthiness but as a foundational construct of what it means to be human.

There is no urgent desire to resist simply proving someone wrong, for that too would offer too much credit to the analysts of man’s worthiness. Love is not something earned unless in a toxic unhealthy relationship that misses its understanding at outset. Mother’s do not love their children because they are beautiful, talented, smell good, tall, powerful or perfect but simply because Love is the natural recourse to each child. To do otherwise is potential warning.

The refusal of love is a learned aspect of man’s disharmony with man. Yet, most people express that they have been subjected to and fought against people who use love as a control system. Promising the offering of attention or reward of emotional support for performance. As a child who grew into this environment there are many other pains that children or young adults may experience that possesses greater potential of long term disrepair.

The bulk of people who are neither brilliant, beautiful, physical specimen or rich have at some point been offered love for performance or lowering of self respect. If you will love me at some point when I have done x, y or z, then you never will, never did and probably never could love me for the man that I am and will become. Those simple facts and the adherence to the self love in protection of them save more young people from emotional pain that any other simple advice.

No one seeks preaching at each conversation unless they are truly close in relationship to God. In fact, most often preachers are avoided, held at bay or admonished to “lighten up” when it comes to daily living. This itself is misdirection. Not knowing every Pastor personally, I must concede to generalization but the numerous rich experiences I have with Christian leaders finds them not preaching but dedicated to loving and teaching their families in health, faith and Godly appreciation.

What can be heard so brightly as a whisper? Friends move away and some go home to Jesus. There is never struggle to determine what was the best thing to happen. So grateful when both of them will be staying close to Him.

Regrets are dissolved by living in this moment. Never missing the opportunity to remind them they are greatly loved. Missing them is always reduced and made insignificant, imagining their involvement and victory in Divine Grace.

Move forward that I may pat you on your back, reminding you just how wonderful you have always been and amazed that you continue to get better, more refined, closer to His Image, in your speech, the love you give and prayers.

It truly is reminder of God’s wonderful gift of time when I hear those who exclaim that Love was never meant to come with pain. I cannot laugh for in that moment I may lose them, but nonetheless the picture clear that we had to walk this way.

Slow down, resist the flowing water, gather your footing feeling the rocks and sand against your bare skin. We must expect a miracle and to see it come about which may happen today. We must endure even in temptation until rest arrives.

So many wonderful things to say about those who love us, especially the parts about how what they say, so often right, is the greatest motivator of our maturation. We think love is unconditional, most frequently I find the exact opposite.

Just to stand or sit in your company whether painful or abundant peace it is the best thing next to being in God’s Presence. You were sent and taken to remind me that my only rest awaits at the conversion of our journeys sitting down with Him.

There is nothing left for you to do my friend. No pain or chores or weight upon the scales. It has all been determined and I am so grateful your rest is so abundant. Sitting there watching those fiery eyes hearing those words for which we so often prayed.

Don’t worry about your unanswered prayers they are still in God’s sight and though you may not be here to watch them come true on Earth, they are probably much better on the other side of eternity now with no doubt, upset or strife, you believe.

I am no man’s judge or critic of God’s Church for only Jesus is the Head of the Body of Christ. But God’s Word prepares us for these days calling us to judgment before the rest of humanity. For God could have easily taken or take each believer at the moment they accept Christ. The fact that He does not means that there is a purpose in leaving each of us here until such specific time for each believer when that job has been fulfilled or we decide our own disobedience. My simple statement to the church, if your measures of Church efficacy are on a spreadsheet or tabulation of quarterly baptisms then you are pursuing the will of your Corporation not the Will of God for the Body.

We have effectively separated from God’s Will and taught to pursue worldly goals attached with laws of tax freedom and measures that deliver Church Shareholders the benchmark to which they are worldly accustomed in all corporate affairs of mammon and treasure. How do you measure spreading the Gospel, touching hearts, feeding souls, shining the salt and light of Christ Jesus? They are not quantifiable for a spreadsheet therefore the church has been reduced to using worldly jargon to report on Sovereign, Spiritual outcomes. It is the same as trying to do miracles by trying real hard. We know that the Power of Spirit in Jesus Name is the promised Gospel hope.

The enemy is the great deceiver and has thoroughly separated believers individually and collectively from the will of God. Let’s face it when you get off the skinny path you cannot reach those objectives for traveling the Broad boulevard only leads to the gates of Hell. We have followed the broad boulevard of racial/religious superiority and divided along ego lines of ritualistic doctrine, ignoring John 17 where Jesus calls us to be one and that oneness being the evidence/example that mankind sees as proof of God sending Jesus and Jesus sending us for the completion of His Will. We seek members, numbers, employees, land deals, pupils instead of making Love the only objective in discipleship.

I do not judge the Church. However, I will tell the Church that since we are doing anything other than God’s stated Will by substituting worldly measures of efficacy that we need to return to our First Love and Do the Things we did at first in Love and Trust of God. 1 Peter 4:17, Jude and the following pages of Revelation 2 and 3 call us to get back on track before the Lord’s Return. I know it will happen though forgive me my skeptical moments seeing us chasing our own tail. We have been infiltrated by men without spirit who taught us the name it and claim it blessings of Worldly Christians, Tax Free Profits and more, more, more. Loving Kindness, solid Doctrine to protect us from deception, sanctification/maturity and a broad breadth of Gospel sharing are the only measures.

Going forward when does this turn from a seeming lecture in to practical application for that is our true meat? First the war is finished. It was won by Jesus on the Cross. Sin is forgiven, we are redeemed to God and have everlasting life promised in the earnest seal of God’s Holy Spirit in each believer. Just as we must remain to be sanctified and fulfill God’s Will for each of our lives and the Body, we are given the precious opportunity to serve as visible example of Christ Jesus in each of our persons and the association with God in our Unity. How does victory become a tool? Instead of waiting for a war of mankind with the fallen we realize that we are hear to tell people to run from God’s Wrath that the only failure of mankind is to fail to acknowledge God and Live out His Will in Faith and Obedience.

The Bible gives us more than we need even to the awesome inspiring indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit that makes us His Temple in this dimension, filling us with power, posture, purity and purpose. We need never fear the enemy for He is not our responsibility having been stripped of his authority and made public his failures. When we embrace God’s Victory we stop trying to help, fight, capture or overcome the enemy and we begin serving God’s Will and demonstrating our love for Him in obedience. Everlasting Life has begun. We Won when we believed on Jesus. We have been born again by Spirit, the baptism of Fire being transformed from the sinful creation to the new man/woman made to live with God forever. That victory is perhaps our greatest reward in overcoming this world as Jesus has already done. In Jesus’ Name use your tools, don’t fear and if you must fear, Then Fear God working out your salvation in trembling before a Holy And Righteous God who is the only one that can send your soul to eternal separation and punishment. Run from the Wrath to come. Get right with God in Jesus’. It is finished.

Must I be what consensus says I am? Or am I free of the prodigal of man? Must I feed from rebellion and self doubt? Or is my stand what this life is all about?

Duct taped in to a ferret in a cast, squirming and gyrating to escape the world’s grasp. Struggling with legs so short I forget they are really arms to flex and form in different shapes to propel myself from harm. Made in His image not this world that’s gone wrong singing along in rhapsodies when hymns and psalms are my heart’s song.

Not fashioned for performance or to be a bitter man. Designed for loving patience in accordance with the plan. The wrath of righteous living embedded in my soul my lips are filled with evil please touch them with burning coal.

The train extends before me the opulence so white the stones and gems upon the throne have taken up my sight. It is good to be undone at the footstool of the Throne no effort to be free again no quest to be alone. For this if life abundant, the place beyond my self. Understanding the image and the shadow has bread the perfect wealth.

The things I gather ripen and wait for proper truck no happenstance in glory nothing born of luck. The story all is written does that offend me so to find that I not unique even though I have His glow. Not so very special as I once grasped with all my might eternity before me testimony this journey’s right.

This package is made ready for the dance with God on high. Forgotten all intentions as my Saviour’s drawing nigh. Don’t worry little wild one about the fields so open wide there’s no end to the dimensions and the spaces vast inside. No matter what they tell you no matter what they say the skinny path before you is the only way.

Attempts at light heart when this weighty world shouts in every word and deed. There is only one way to do what is beyond our own strength or imagination. The Transhumanist says that there is another way to extend through drugs, augmentation, chips, AI, or harmonic resonance that man’s imagination incorporates distant stars embracing life on mars. That is all find and dandy but how does this reconcile with Christian Doctrine? It doesn’t.

Decisions made not to be sad but glad about something, everything or nothing. Self sponsored attempts at appearing authentic never quite take the night, trophy or medal. I may deceive that I believe and receive fake wind and a handful of time for my effort. Just that I may imagine a God that is good and sovereign and loving does not create that God. He needed none of us, do you understand that humbling realization? We still don’t I fear.

Don’t believe the fallen angels when they tell you that they are simply looking after your best interest. May the Lord rebuke them if He so chooses it is neither my call nor offense to make. We have been tamed into accepting through tolerance all that is offensive to God yet turn our eyes in disbelief or boredom to the Mysteries of Faith. We wonder why we are sad. What is gone a reflection upon the men who have lived their lives for Christ and have More.

We have been shown the limits of man’s imagination such that they have now capitulated their majesty to computers who may do it faster yet still fail to produce anything superior. Certainly they promise our children electronic girlfriends, yet they themselves admit they still do not know what makes an atom or what AI will do when it finally finds self awareness. As with me attempting to describe God I may only in hubris make my best guess. Wrongfully.

Yes, men eclipsed dimensions taught by fallen angels and doctrines of demons wanting to contend with God. They sought as Alexander mused to open the Door to the heavens only to meet God and find His wrath equipped and ready for their tasting. Finding the wine-press too strong and suddenly forgetting how to speak their own first language. I am not befuddled when confronted with Sovereign Authority only humbled in that Presence. To be recalled.

Why must we choose indignation? Why must we always play the rebel, is that wins us the chalice at parties? Certainly that charm embraced by those who wanted to disobey human Fathers. Are we here to play out that cosmic familial dysfunction of our casting or reach beyond it into a growth only available in sanctification of each shepherd. A Doorway with invitation or do we seek to enter through the open window on second floor. Illegally?

They tell you there is no shame in fighting the good fight, bucking the system or being the rebel to the applause of the cast of departing characters. Yet, we truly know the square guy or chaste girl who has blessing of which he/she may remain proud, lacking regret and showering in the true gifts of having lived for something better than just ourselves. Smiles of grace, power and love of the Father upon each of you who have learned the secrets of Life.

Whether we gather ourselves behind our breastplate, adore ourselves or rue the moment of our creation we still must contend or quit in reality’s confrontation. The battle is always one of self until we open the avenue of acknowledging Sovereign Creation.

There are roads that take conflict lightly; avoiding, deterring or simply staving off contention but the battle continues with or without our participation. Taking a stand demands choosing a side and in this manuscript written out by God there has always been only One Winner.

Being born in America certainly is a blessing but also invitation to the choices that must be made in this war for civilization and its redemption to God the Father. There must be a treay to end the War with God, that document, agreement, covenant is only found in Jesus.

Poverty is a duress that most men have experienced, only a select few are challenged with the additional burden of believing that Mammon may support the faith of men. We cannot buy our way to happiness, long life or immortality for this is the burden of greater lie.

We may stiff arm for a bit the weight of God’s Will for each of us, but inevitably only He decides the day and hour. Certainly there are those of men and angels seeking to convince themselves and all present that they somehow may outsmart God, providing their own path.

That is the special ignorance for which men are warned against “other” or false Gospel of angels or men and the curse that surrounds that foolishness. The tolling of the Bell is recognition of the fragile purse of imagination and the darkened heart.

Just as God doesn’t have a need for me in the world’s recognition of His Sovereign Existence, He tells all that I AM THAT I AM, independent of creation’s; opinion, strategy or definition. We are fully dependent upon Him for each breath, not the error of imagination.

What saturating Joy this forgiveness for the burdens only my debt would have paid. He forgave me, even the war I waged against Him in disobedience and prodigal pursuits. Now, I find peace, undeserved, purpose, undeserved and love unfathomable in the person of His indwelling Holy Spirit, there is nothing I have or can give that would have ever made me deserving.

But this is all free for living in belief upon the Mighty Works of Jesus on that horrific day in Jerusalem. For the curse He suffered for me being hung upon a tree outside the city and taking my sins into the death the only thing that would free me from the law of the sins I had willfully or mistakenly committed. All free and I am free having been bought back by His blood, washed in its righteousness, set aside for His Divine Plan.

What imagination of man can predict or prepare for the things that produced in heaven. My spirit cries out in joy for the simple realization of what Jesus has been designing and creating for all of us and I get to participate. What an awesome joy. I am washed clean and that alone a treasure against which I can measure no greater gift or prize. The filth of the man I was is slowly being forgotten.

What I leave behind in no way compares to the family that I have been given, Sons and Daughters of God, the Angels serving God in Heaven and throughout Creation and knowing the Lord of Glory knows me and loves me more that I will possibly ever be able to imagine. To see Jesus as He is in all of God’s Majesty, No other name above and a smile upon the Father’s face for His Sacrifice and Obedience.

Only if. Only if I could be for one day that kind to God, showing Him my love in obedience and Praise. Stuck but not without the Grace of God knowing that what I see each day in my short comings or near-sighted attempts to serve will some day dissipate into the mist of this temporary world and I will find myself getting it right as He has transformed me to be that Son.

Failed so many times simply trying too hard or assuming I knew what was right. No ding to confidence for it is essential in any discipline, but working for God the Courage to speak His Holy Word brings with it a courage outside of my manufacture. To know the mistakes of a man who has tried to do what is only capable through God is an essential blessing.

He made me, when I departed from Him I diminished in every capacity, every measure of the word into something that was measure and limited by the World. Every failure is directly attributable to my own plans, energy, provision and performance, whereas all the amazing Divinely inspired things in this life have been of His account, Planning and execution.

There is no love like the One of Jesus Christ in God the Father, becoming the worldly temple of His Holy Spirit. Certainly each man, even the heroes of the Bible found themselves caught by the foolishness of self reliance. Having tasted of that sour mash and the elixir of my own failed prowess, it is paramount and enjoyable to never mistake mine for His.

The failures of this day are no different. The moment I forget who sent me and turn to my own lens, power and flesh I am undone. I have never found love for instance and upset so many people along the way that you would think a man in that position would never again attempt to drink from the well of his own resolve or understanding, but alas I am here.

I don’t wish to win anymore, yet I still self defend believing that somehow this persona is protection, it is the opposite. For I am going to receive this lesson until it is aptly performed for God’s review. Lord knows I have had the same lesson repeatedly throughout this life in childhood and maturity. Don’t laugh it was simply used as a time description.

Subsequently, I cannot fix it only listen and obey. This is one that God will need to change, I feel the defense mechanisms drilled so deeply that I cannot extract them from this soul. Let this be the moment that the Holy Spirit takes control since I have tried to surrender so often I don’t see the mistake continually achieved. May this be the moment that He takes the lead.

Nonetheless Lord Your Will be done and though I may be ready in mindset to learn this lesson perhaps I have yet to see what the Lord is trying to reveal. I pray that this lesson is learned to the good of Your perfect glory for this vessel. I ask forgiveness for not being able to let go of or learn that which you are ready for me to possess. Make me in Your Image.

In Jesus’ Name, these days require my circumspection. Let me see clearly each lesson and let go or hold tight as is required to complete Your tasking.