Failed so many times simply trying too hard or assuming I knew what was right. No ding to confidence for it is essential in any discipline, but working for God the Courage to speak His Holy Word brings with it a courage outside of my manufacture. To know the mistakes of a man who has tried to do what is only capable through God is an essential blessing.

He made me, when I departed from Him I diminished in every capacity, every measure of the word into something that was measure and limited by the World. Every failure is directly attributable to my own plans, energy, provision and performance, whereas all the amazing Divinely inspired things in this life have been of His account, Planning and execution.

There is no love like the One of Jesus Christ in God the Father, becoming the worldly temple of His Holy Spirit. Certainly each man, even the heroes of the Bible found themselves caught by the foolishness of self reliance. Having tasted of that sour mash and the elixir of my own failed prowess, it is paramount and enjoyable to never mistake mine for His.

The failures of this day are no different. The moment I forget who sent me and turn to my own lens, power and flesh I am undone. I have never found love for instance and upset so many people along the way that you would think a man in that position would never again attempt to drink from the well of his own resolve or understanding, but alas I am here.

I don’t wish to win anymore, yet I still self defend believing that somehow this persona is protection, it is the opposite. For I am going to receive this lesson until it is aptly performed for God’s review. Lord knows I have had the same lesson repeatedly throughout this life in childhood and maturity. Don’t laugh it was simply used as a time description.

Subsequently, I cannot fix it only listen and obey. This is one that God will need to change, I feel the defense mechanisms drilled so deeply that I cannot extract them from this soul. Let this be the moment that the Holy Spirit takes control since I have tried to surrender so often I don’t see the mistake continually achieved. May this be the moment that He takes the lead.

Nonetheless Lord Your Will be done and though I may be ready in mindset to learn this lesson perhaps I have yet to see what the Lord is trying to reveal. I pray that this lesson is learned to the good of Your perfect glory for this vessel. I ask forgiveness for not being able to let go of or learn that which you are ready for me to possess. Make me in Your Image.

In Jesus’ Name, these days require my circumspection. Let me see clearly each lesson and let go or hold tight as is required to complete Your tasking.