No say so. Will retreat to never be accused of the evils with the world has so effectively wounded/contaminated your heart. There is no criticism in loving care only a desire to protect and heal.

You were not sought out. Coming voluntarily as you approached, seeking to answer the call of Spirit upon that heart, how then is anyone wrong in trying to provide comfort, encouragement and council?

Appears to be no win situation. However, even if there is fault gainfully admitted it will be turned to good by God for loving Him and seeking His Purpose. You sought, the best was done in offer of that direction.

Just a broken vessel of humanity answering the Call of God upon this heart to tell the wonderful story of a healing Gospel none of which was written in this man’s poor penmanship. Acknowledged failure before starting.

These are not the miracles of men but the elements of God’s Power given by prayer, fasting and supplication before the throne. Never pronounced or formed retribution or curse, merely wishes for conformity to God’s Will for each of us.

Never could save ourselves. No false sense of piety or power that somehow any idea I proffer may save us from anything this world seeks to infect. Jesus is the only name that saves no matter the perspective.

Frozen in the fragments and memories of worlds toppled, ideas squandered and assets lost for the simple quest of self elevation. There is no world where the things you would accuse are in any way consistent with God’s Will.

The World is doing what it must, infected by sin, tainted, unholy, fields ready for the harvest and return of Christ Jesus. This coming Wrath is not of the enemy but of God for though patient for the ages He has had enough. Nearly time to return to collect His Bride and set the foundation for Everlasting Rule and Reign upon the Throne of Father’s Promise. Nearly time for the Name above All Names to be worshiped in the Glory deserved before Time itself began.

Out of sync. That is understatement and even now the presence of God’s Holy Spirit in the body appears the rare state of man. The Body, having been deceived into false worship and departure from sound doctrine is run by and entrusted to the false prophets, teachers and men who would usurp a position next to or above the Father. All is wrong when marking twain of our hearts we know the world to be inconsistent with all that is right and True.

Fooled by my own self-idolatry. Believing that this heart is the only one remaining without the taint of wickedness. All that is good within or about me came from the heaven’s above. There is no righteousness in my own will but in my desire and unwanton comfort in the Will of God, doing the works set before me by His Passion and Provision. Fool no more, having sought the wisdom of God’s Promise that I may buy that which is beyond the tempt and eye value of Gold.

This life is nothing to write home about, leaving me emptied, displeased and unfulfilled in the gathering of all that it promises is the pinnacle of worldly existence. I don’t belong and though that should bring sadness it gives me joy to look forward to the country that is coming. Knowing that yearning, gnashing of heart and teeth is not my quest for separation but the promise of an everlasting Home in the presence of God Almighty. For that I am filled to overflowing with Righteous Joy and Spirit.

Nearly time, not simply a feeling, but matching the Word we were given of all that has been, IS and WILL BE. The season is upon me and I cannot put to insufficient word the presence of Joy beyond description. Perhaps it is the knowledge that each time this joy appears it is that wonderful invitation to walk In/With the Spirit that dwells within me. As Temple of God’s presence I am acquainted with Him, by Him and through Him in each step, Word or faithful action taken. Yes, Nearly there, Nearly there.

Awakened to see the cause of my mortality. Testing the breezes by the length that it appeases me. When I go morphing, I am surprised by transformation. In the beginning the light was awaiting a command. I try to understand. If none of it were planned. How are the cannons always manned the sand so ready to ride in every pocket or slip through every hand? It’s time to find a band to flame the fires that we’ve fanned.

Sitting up to sip from my favorite cup. Hands the only appendage warmed, the mystery is formed in passion and twisting the plot keeps resisting as my tears begin misting, coffee two-fisting. The riddle becomes unwound without damsel or loud sound. I see tomorrow become today without a word about the play, no matter the words I think to say. Silence comes upon the lambs the ewes and then the rams. It is easier to end this way.

Seek and you will find clear your will and then your mind if you ere don’t hit rewind for the prayers that you’ve opined. Take it all before the throne as you’ve never once remained alone tripped each time upon cornerstone your brief life is not your own. He finished on the Cross all behind we count as loss existence without the sauce never having been the boss. Future way too sweet on that day we soon shall meet on my face before those feet last chapter now complete.

All along thought myself right looking blind into the light, in all apprehension in wrought surface tension my theories were upheld, the metals that we weld the peanuts that we’ve shelled cast the sheep all neatly belled, the pigs into the sea He said that it should be without question or ripened plea. The devils must come out with a prayer a fast or shout on my shoulder resides the clout telling stories all about, GOD.

What does it feel that breath beyond the possible? When dreams built of fantasy are replaced by content based foundation. Men describe that which is beyond stars, around mountains, found in desert passage to realms only thinkable.

A wink, nod, gesture or relief when all has been given, traded or dealt. The final card tossed, waiting for that quiet name to pass the lips of auctioneer. Excited children promised a mid summer night’s dream only now knowing the impossible.

We sing in voices found outside experience, deeper that cavities rich and muscle’s trained for season. New words as plums ripen, sweating in the promise of cool, autumn eve. Where are the days left to ponder or reason when all is foretold?

No longer reaching for subtle untold embrace but coveting the rich hugs of tomorrow and the day after. Fellows fond and welcome ladies having readied for prayer and a delight in worshiping the King. For there are some things unquestioned.

Amber’s roasted and turquoise tickled by the first morning fallen. Hidden in the Jalapeno forest, soft and supple sweet but caution to the welcome palate. Dive down to bottoms sounding cautious of the skin to rock or never coming back.

Then and whence we are beckoned and respond. Found in the wakeful days of memory when all was new, fresh and out of the ordinary. Trusting the familiar until our hearts remain sickened. We were promised that which resides beyond the knowing.

Times I tried to say words that would repair. Nothing seems to heal, nothing changes and I only succeed in upsetting things further. In sight of my continued failure I simply release you to find whatever answers God has hidden for you to discover. At least this frees me from blame, but the obligation to pray calls me to ask God for intervention. May you find the Peace and Patience that for so long has evaded you.

These are the days before everlasting. The most frustrating moments calling the body to give up their exasperating dependence upon the thoughts, hand and works of man. If we could have solved this dilemma it would not have taken us thousands of years wondering around the same labyrinth. Now we turn to You clear heart and minds knowing that our trust and faith in Your resolve and loving plan our hope.

Men have lost their way or struggle to find it, begging, pleading and searching for truths beyond self. Denying our objectives, worship and self recrimination as solutions caught in the thicket of self-dependence. Time reveals to each of us the desperation of self-reliance. Our answer forever reside in Trust In You. Though men will test the ages and repeatedly believe that their answers remain at our fingertips in the lasting quest of the next set of works of independence. You Alone Are God.

Today, I admit my weakness of the flesh and mind of this temporary seed. In so doing I recall and realize the power beyond my self. Grace is peace in the presence and sealing fire of Spirit. Nothing escapes me this day, this place of power and peace sitting within Spirit. Not to be used for realization of self or my own will but the overwhelming faith in the summation of Your Will, not simply for me but for every man You Know.

This is peace, knowing that nothing is beyond completion. This is patience knowing that every work shall prevail, every seed shall grow. My quest for good dirt is ample ambition. Father let each of us go forth and plant fields of ten thousand time a thousand where the everlasting impact is beyond our recognition but feeding the courage necessary to continue. May the power and warming Grace of Your Hope fire each heart to revival and eternal pursuit of presence. In Jesus’ Name let this and every day be that day.

Open. Nothing to say. Listening. Hoping that this is the time to be free from remaining encumbrance.

Sorry and sad for the hurt. The images of pain I have caused You and my Family. Unjust or absent reasoning.

Visible bruise evidence of internal illness and poison. May all be surface bound in the days I have remaining.

Just to be forgiven? Or truly repentant? Only You know this heart for we know I often fool myself with thinking.

Reductions must be simple. Laying bare the foundations of self control and mastery. Teach me to remain free.

Lord take me and use those rewards that others may be known at heaven’s gate. To find ending and beginning.

Thank you for teaching the origin of Love and why it is the only principle suitable for everlasting promise.

Cast all out that belong not at this table. Including the wounds and undying victims of my jostled heart and hearing.

Being made again over and over until this pottery meets Your crafting. Let me shine the only light worth seeing.

Tried to be gentle, but when it was evident that persuasion and kindness would never reset as God commanded, merely frustrating the flesh as some refuse to listen. I knew that to be true to God’s Command I had to utilize some of those lesser respected parts of my self. No sarcasm, no beating around proverbial bushes, I would have to border cruelty and be honest that attachments brought me nothing but sorrow and continued mourning a loss that was not of my doing. You see when people leave a ministry in a way that does the most possible damage, there is certain forgiveness but the reality of reconnection is only achieved by God’s direction through, repentance, humility, supplication and renewed commitment. These were never going to happen with someone entering the ministry to fulfill personal outcomes. Therefore the hard route was the only route. As with acceptance of Grace it must be done by choice which was your volition.

It does not matter that someone thinks it foolish that I would be upset in knowing that someone each day is reading my posting, watching my studies and sharing in the gifts of spirit through this ministry after this Pastor being told he was no longer needed was akin to soft psychological stalking. After many requests to move on it was painfully clear that after one year it was never going to happen without authority and provocation. I am thankful that the Lord has today given back that personal space to share my thoughts without adjustment or consideration regarding who may hear them. When I write I write from the Spirit it is impossible to flow with that gift knowing that someone is interpreting, analyzing and standing at established distance waiting for what, Opportunity to hurt this Pastor or the ministry once again? People if you don’t want to walk with God listening and conforming to His Spirit, Word and Pastor, then go your way. No need to cling to that which you have deemed reprehensible. That being the sole authority of a Pastor to step away from a situation it is a power play to maintain links between us.

Love fails in one instance; when the parties serve different objectives having no shared commitment. In a Christian mission that is anathema to both God and Pastor for all involved must have as their first love God Almighty. This ministry is Christ’s not mine therefore the anointing and responsibility to conduct it as God demands is paramount to my own comfort or expectation. Seeing myself depart one or more footfalls from that direction breaks my heart for it means that I am asserting a greater love than God. You knew that this outcome was not possible and told me to go away. Painfully/Joyously I agreed, leaving you to pursue whatever wherever you were inclined, forgiving and leaving you in God’s Care. However, I was not allowed the same freedom. What appeared innocent or friendly contact threw me back immediately into reflection, prayer and contemplation/meditation upon issues upon which I thought finished, In a word is was unfair and an egregious expression of disrespect and power manipulation. I told you that I would wait in council for a period but that at some point I would cut the cord and move on. My birthday was that day, one year since I was told you wanted nothing more to do with this Pastor. That is the reset.

I have lost weight both physically and mentally in the last five days. You see I never like cutting people off it is just not natural for someone who loves as I love. I serve one God, His rules are the only rules that matter and when someone makes a choice I respect it regardless of ensuing pain as I simply understand that with suffering comes maturity. I do not seek prolonged pain associated with separation extended by someone else’s desire to keep tabs or maintain open doors. Some must be closed and never reopened. If there was a possibility to move forward then the Lord would have directed either or both of us, but alas He was clear with me that you were not ready for mutual commitment and understanding. For a Pastor that is saying, “you must leave the ministry to make this friendship, fellowship or family relationship work”. That is never going to happen, so fair wind and following seas as Marines say. I am certain God will direct you to the circumstance that matches your inclination.

Roses and dew whilst reminders view tasks and tender as the day so brief. Belief the only thing separating living from the sands of time and trouble. A bubble, a circumstance lingering for the moments that we were meant to carry. Tarry for a wink, think upon the things yet known, alone in our return to everlasting.

Quest so far and deep into nowhere that maps and mages sing songs of its beginning. Without end we bend logic and the rules of space, setting pace alongside the moons and mountains high. To start again and run the trails of lands yet ventured while dreams become real and mass fashioned fast in rhythm of each string.

Songs not written but recalled befell the glory of the painted saints. In August passion plenty the mints ring deep impression, each session planned yet flowing from the realm of possibility. Chosen, frozen and smoldering in fires far the belly of man and thought simmering in the glimmering dawn of which we yet sing.

Seconds if that is apt description into which understanding plunders we fall. One and all taken by the rivers that sweep dust from the universe. We rehearse for the loving dance when the kindred meet their Captain. Sown to the fabric outside time where history and mystery meet our hope, relieving peace both set to bring.

Words, found deeper than the breadth of man’s small will, to fill the void of doubt and mend the holes or tears in converging intention. Not to mention ideas lost in the bastion of brevity and merit. To inherit all things yet never increased of person or pride forgotten. The rotten replaced by all things new, poison gone with bite and sting.

Fertile not fatal born of immutable promise and vows that never dwindle, where time measures life but not the length of love. Above all things, ever mountain down we bathe and bask in unending faithfulness. We are remiss to remember the struggles of forgotten pain while relieved in joy of the pain found in eternal mourning.

When those around will not listen to suggestion, advice or plead. What can or must be done if the council is ignored? It’s obvious that sarcasm would say you argue more strongly. However, just as delivering an ungentle message of rebuke, standing passive without any correction is perhaps more dangerous in encouraging further weakness.

Of course I want and prefer good relationships with the Body, especially when you hit that stride/groove where the Holy Spirit is generating miracles throughout the works and prayers. However, it is perpetually dangerous to entertain the wants and wills of flesh when conducting ministry of Divine, Holy Habitation of God’s Spirit.

God’s efficacy will prevail even if I miserably fail. He will turn to good all things for those who love Him and walk according to His Purpose. Do I believe this means when I succeed or it is clearly referencing when I mess up?

No matter my intention or resolve if I as a anointed Pastor for Christ Jesus have intentions solely surrounding my own comfort, relationships or wishes then these things will be those direct mess ups accounted to me. Those of us who seek prosperity doctrine and our own wealth or fame are dangerous close if not in the pit of dishonoring the name of God.

I don’t want to be poor but I understand that being poor is perhaps Biblically a safer place to reside than in the realm of Mammon’s Plenty. I don’t want to be alone especially since God said that He would make for me a suitable helper, but being with the wrong person or for all the wrong reasons is clearly tenuous at best.

I just want to be plugged into a family where my talents and effort support the health and maintenance of the family. Where encouragement is the expectation and we never fail to receive/give assistance to any party seeking that furtherance. Often a kind word is the greatest reward in family. Not feeling or being alone rectifies a lot of evil opportunity.

If men were forced to only watch porn in front of their parents and kids they would never do it. That accountability is what I crave, never to be left alone with this mind and corrupt heart that seeks to do whatever it wants when, where and how it wants. God is my discernment and my goodness. Without Him I got nothing but this world.

Yes, it would be nice to receive all God’s good blessings precisely when needed. But what is the benefit of being chastised by God if we never have to struggle, suffer or see our own misbehavior? Judgment starts at the Church because we have all the advantages; Grace, relationship with Christ, Redemption to the Father and the voice/guidance of the the Holy Spirit. How else do we expect to be ambassadors to the Children of Disobedience that have none?

I had someone threaten my life this week, on my Birthday no less, as I defended unbelievers against not so quiet intimidation by enemy agents. I am reminded of the Lord Jesus and His anger against the money changers, always contorting the perfect Holy Habitation we have been given. Judgment has begun in the Church as Peter promised in 1Peter 4:17 and exclaimed by Jesus’ step Brother Jude. I was furious that anger, though I never like it, restored some order to the enemy’s designs for chaos. May the Lord rebuke Him. We are offered the choice of serving God’s Will and are warned that few will choose it. The Church is not here to maximize profitability, but to use the awesome provision of God’s; Spirit, Will, Love and Word to invite Children of Disobedience to the Cross and call Brothers and Sisters to the fields as workers. This nation on 4/21 had a leader read 2nd Chronicles 7:11-22 in the White House, yet many never even noticed the monumental importance of that action. We want healing and it is within our prayerful grasp. In Jesus’ name. This nation will be rededicated to God on May 17th in our Capital. Do we see our time? Where will I stand in this auspicious day? Love you Brother, we will see when I am bold enough to do say as you’ve suggested.