Real of faked?  Was I able to do it without the aide, power, counsel or guidance of the Holy Spirit, then it was my own bidding.  How might I be powerful, when I have no power from the outset of the argument?  The further down this road of Christianity that I travel, the clearer it becomes that if I am trying then I am not doing in the Spirit.  Certainly, I may be lucky and do something of my own volition, skill or determination that is well intended to serve God’s Plan, but the blindingly, unavoidable fact remains that it was a spell of my own concoction.  Therefore, all my self-originated acts are by nature self-serving.  If I am to be a true witness for Christ then I will wait upon God for the direction and works that will most certainly come from God.

I struggle with loving the unlovable.  Therefore it is a thing that will only be overcome through Christ.  I cannot forgive my enemies and praying mercy for them is down right near impossible.  This is then the thing I should be praying to most about, for it is obviously the thing where the Spirit holds sway.  I cannot escape my fears of failure, inadequacy and my worldly identity lacks any angle upon which I may hang respect or honor.  Then these are the burdens I have been bid surrender to the Lord, the trappings of my flesh holding me tightly to my temporary position as a citizen of this world.  I cannot stop sinning no matter how hard I try, I continue to make the same old mistakes of lustful eyes, pride or flesh over and over again.  This is the real of Christianity, because without Christ I would never have ever been set free from any of this.  If I could have defeated sin at any point in my history or any distant time in the future then I never needed Christ in the first place.  Where I end, God Begins.

What then is to become of my playbook?  Shall I shred it?  Can I?  My actions are those of a new creation, born again, baptized in the fiery Spirit of the Lord my God.  If that is true and not a thing faked for identity’s sake then my actions ought be sponsored solely by the indwelling Spirit of God.  This is the struggle between the illusion of self defining structure and the absolute Truth of how God sees me.  Trying is for the dead man of my flesh, with God all things are victory and amen.  So, if you see me trying, you know that I continue to kick against the goads, failing to understand the newness of my creation.  Please be kind as my deception is obviously set deeply within this metallic conscience.  The Lord has overcome this world and everything in it.  I am in this world, I belong to God, case closed.  I am an action awaiting God’s timing, let patience do its work, leading to endurance and the hope that some day I will truly hand over the keys of my resistance to the Lord’s waiting hand.

Praise Jesus for his grace, mercy and patience with all the knuckleheaded Christians just like me.

Such a treasure to honor God with love for his children.  I am not the light but it sure does feel great when someone sees it reflected in my words, behavior or care.  Makes me wonder what the Lord Jesus is thinking of me right now, not that I expect he loves me any better, for it simply amazes me that he knows me at all.  Somehow, it feels good to obey him and the Word says that demonstrates my love.  That’s all I want him to know how much I love, respect and thank him.  It is not hard to love them Lord, I am very thankful that you allowed me see that in this lifetime.

What comes next is something beyond my imagination and trust mine is pretty active.  Walking through the veil of death seeing those loving arms and those fiery eyes will be enough, but I know that there is so much more.  Singing to the Father with a choir of millions, each of them loving God with all that they are.  Nothing, I repeat nothing will be better than that sound, except the time I spend with him.  Yes, I have loved here and for a moment or two I am certain I will have a bit of reflection, but honestly I am ready to get on with my real life, serving, loving and pleasing God.  Living with Christians without the constant upset and sadness of sin, even for a time, this will be the best thing that ever happened.

We aren’t alone, though the feeling constantly natters.  This world falling into disrepair, under the guidance of present fallen leadership, back is forward and up is down.  Desperately seeking to intercede for them who need more time or wisdom.  Father I wish that I loved them enough to offer my salvation in their stead.  I am proud of my Brother Paul, though I do hope you didn’t accept his offer.  I so look forward to meeting him and spending time chatting about how much we love you.

I am grateful that you have provided me the opportunity to share your Word with so many around the globe.  That is what should be global, not government, nor religion, nor commerce, but recognition and glory toward your name.  Lord allow me to reach every one that you have given for me to speak with, don’t let me lose a single one.  Prohibit my flesh from causing any difficulty that would inhibit my capacity to speak when you would have me declare and love when you would have me share my faith.  It’s all for You.  With Praise and Love, your son, me.  In Jesus’ Name.

As far as you have brought me Lord, these feet are still prone to slip.  Not wishing to wander, I keep my eyes on your lead, but somehow I always manage to lose focus in that fateful second and end up humiliating myself and bringing dishonor to you.  Further convinced that this sanctification upon which you’ve embarked is impossible through my own means.  For given leave I would befuddle all of  your Good Works for nothing but pride, objects and misunderstanding.  How do you ever forgive me Lord, as I have made the same mark with my head against the same wall ad infinitum.  Again I find myself bleeding from my bulging brow, wondering at your willingness to take on this obviously impossible task of preparing me for eternity.

I don’t wish to hurt, but still show the wounds of younger years, invoked by the same bullies, the same slander the same attacks upon my person.  When will I grow past this uncontrollable urge to take the bait of lesser men?  I should love them and understand their plight, forgiving, patiently retreating in wisdom.  Why does a tyrant so effect my reaction?  Shouldn’t I be able to control myself through the Spirit and quickly lead to peaceful resolution rather than retort, reaction or biting admonishment?  And when will I demonstrate that capacity of turning the cheek you’ve bid us represent?  I am sorry to have sinned against you Lord, by wishing or devising harm against another human.  Judgment is yours alone, my job is to love.  How could I so easily forget that fact in my self-righteous behavior?  Please forgive me and take this from me.  I obviously still suffer from those wounds of childhood that cause me to react from fear and desire to exhibit manly control that I lacked in youth.  Please heal me Lord so that my wounds do not effect others.  Let their own issues draw them into a relationship with you.

I am sickened to my stomach at what I am capable of doing to save a sliver of my pride.  Who cares what they think of me.  I have been impoverished and never cared.  I have been betrayed and recovered to reside in your counsel.  I have been struck wounds by loved ones and foreigners alike and still woke the next morn anew.  What is different this time that I would think I have to take control in order to make something turn out for the best, all the time knowing, that your will is always the perfect path to the greatest outcome?  What causes me to forget, what causes me into worldly response, what brings me back to those moments of fear and anger that may only be expressed in fleshly response?  Let me never venture there again Father.  Thank you for showing me the error of my thinking, believing myself further down the path of holiness and preparation.  Clearly, I am not ready.  It would amaze to realize that you considered me so.  I am sorry.  This much I know.  King Jesus I need you so desperately, my soul cries out for relief.

Don’t let me away from your loving grasp and your masterful working hands.  I cannot go one step of my own regard without terrible upset, failure and discouraging works, perpetrated on my own lust for power and judgment.  You alone are worthy of praise and you alone hold the rod of judgment and justice.  Forgive for standing in your presence Lord, if only to see your eyes and know that you still smile upon me, even in my pitiful state.  What a wretched man I am, without your Spirit of faithful righteousness to cover up my shame.  Take me away so that there is only your filling in reserve.  I can no longer stand the man I have tried to be and can never achieve.  I want to be God’s Man, your Son and demonstrate my love for you by reflecting your glory to this world.  Instead I bring nothing but grief to my Father’s eyes and ears.  It is beyond my capability.  If you don’t do it, it shall never be accomplished.  Upon your grace I attend.  I love you Lord, thank you for loving me, even now.  Amen

If you don’t know this material, you should, right now, today.

Lord, what does it look like to walk in the spirit?  Do I change my thoughts or does my surrender lead to a portion of my pre-programming to disappear from my habit bank?  How do I deny these sensory drives to eagerly embrace the things of God?  We are aware that the objective is to resemble Christ, to remain unspotted by the world, being holy, even as the Lord is Holy.  However, just as in working out your salvation in understanding that there is a difference between the beliefs of head and heart, there must be evidence of living in the spirit vs. the flesh.  Or is this thing something done by your Spirit’s indwelling, something akin to salvation that cannot be done by human effort but rather capitulation to the Potter’s Hand?

Let us take a look at what the Bible has to say on this topic.  In the Book of Acts, there are numerous places where the believers were filled with the spirit, Acts 2:4, 4:8, 4:31, 6:3, 6:5, 7:55, 9:17, 11:24 and 13:52.  None of these places tell us how to be filled with the spirit, only that the spirit comes upon us somehow.  This immediately indicates that it is not a thing that may be turned on and off as a light switch, that it may be a thing sponsored by need, circumstance or prayer.  Let us further investigate.  Romans 8:9-10 states; “You are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. And if Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness”.  Without a deeper look into the Greek words, I believe we are left without a deeper understanding of what this passage means.  In this case we need look at the Greek word plerousthe to fully comprehend what Paul and others meant by Holy Spirit filling.  This word portends a continual action, the idea of “Keep being filled up with the Spirit”.  This presents again the idea of surrender or an openness or mindful preparedness to being emptied of self and filled with the Spirit of God.

This explanation although effective does bring about further questions associated with how can I keep being filled up, isn’t there a point where I become full.  Rather let us think of being filled with the buoyancy of air necessary to keep a kite aloft or to propel a ship on the ocean.  The wind is continuous and although it fills your sails or provides adequate lift to remain in flight it does not reside.  For without its continuous filling the kite comes down or the ship slows down.  This also implies that without the filling of the spirit there would be “no” flight or “no” movement of our vessels across the vast ocean.

Even this analogy, although effective, fails to convey the complete idea of being led by the Holy Spirit.  To understand the complete command of the Spirit we must understand our worldly passions that control us to the point of sponsoring action.  This is the similar function of the Holy Spirit in a believer.  We ought be so overwhelmed by its control over our hearts that we naturally behave in the “ways of the spirit”.  It becomes a natural thing to love, be patient, heal, remain self-controlled, honor the King and walk not according to our worldly drives but according to the Will of God.

One further artifice that may assist in understanding the appropriate attitude necessary for remaining in the spirit is that of the song in each of our hearts.  If you are singing a song to God, replaying it in your mind or find yourself humming it continuously, you have begun to understand the connection that must remain between a believer and God in order to be continually filled by the Spirit.  Remember we do not control it is He that controls our actions, words and faculties.  We are the clay, he is the potter.  We are vessels designed for the completion of his good works.  Keep being filled up and watch your kite fly or your ship be propelled across vast oceans.  Be salt and light.  In Jesus’s Name.

We are told to be ready.  Ready for what?  The coming of an enemy, the dawn of a new age of enlightenment, the arrival of the wrath of God.  What in any of these things would require any form or readiness on our part?  They will come and go whether or not any of us are ready.  Do not be deceived, the thing we are to be ready for is the return of our Master for his servants, the Church.

When he lands on the Mount of Olives, they will all see him.  When he fights those aligned against him in the valley of Jehoshaphat at Megiddo, everyone will see him.  What we will not see is when he comes “as a thief in the night” for those prepared to be snatched, captured, taken away before the outpouring of his wrath.  That trumpets call is a sober moment upon which I stake all my preparation, planning and thought.  I do not wish to be left behind, and the thought of it sends those customary shivers associated with a reverence for God’s Will.

What then does it mean to be ready?  Do I need to memorize the Bible, do I need to lead countless thousands to the cross, do I need to glow like the brightness of the sun?  None of these things are how we please God, although it would be amazing if any of us felt compelled to pursue that depth of faith.

Preparation is accepting, believing and demonstrating that belief that Christ came, lived a perfect life, became the sins of mankind and paid the price of our condemnation by being sacrificed upon the cross, to once and for all satisfy the Father’s righteous debt for sin, then he died, was buried and on the third day rose and ascended to heaven, in preparation of a return to rule and to reign.

Now I may not have put that in the exact syntax required by educated men or in the flowery language demanded by poets, but the things of God although complex are not hard to understand as satan would have people believe.  Just as simple is the concept that if you believe and obey which forgives your sins why then would you be required to suffer wrath for a debt that has already been paid by the sacrifice of Jesus?  It makes no sense.  Yes, we ought to be ready to give a defense of our faith or to explain the reason for our joy.  Yes, we ought to be prepared to give a testimony or to tell someone of the Good News of the Gospel.  These things are true.  However, without the filling of the Holy Spirit these things are impossible for us at the outset.  Therefore it is the evidence of the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit that is the true status of “readiness”.  Having the oil of God’s Spirit in our lamps, prepared to travel even in the darkness to follow the trumpets call.

If you are trying to be a better Christian, please stop.  If you are trying to be Holy please don’t be deceived by the demands of the enemy that you must do works to reach heaven.  If you need another self help book to try and heal the wounds of your youth or the remnants of sin, you are concentrating on worldly solutions to a spiritual problem.  Turn to Jesus.  Let him save you and set you free from bondage.  Ask for the indwelling of his spirit, that you might be made ready for the days to come.  Surrender to his will for your life and begin to be transformed by the renewing of your mind through the spirit of God.  This is not self help, this is God’s help, to do what we cannot do ourselves.  Heaven is a gift of God’s grace, reached only by the Will of God.  You cannot buy it, earn it, beg for it or trade for it, but you can be prepared for it.  My advice, simply be ready.

Once you know, act like you know.  If I am set apart for eternity spent with a Holy and Righteous God then it is plain foolishness for me to exhibit a life dedicated to sensory fulfillment.  If I know that to be comfortable here and to gain my blessings in this life I must forgo those exponential treasures beyond my current comprehension which reside in heaven upon my waiting, what manner of fool must I proclaim myself  when I would choose the momentary benefits of this life?  If this is a trial, through which I get my sea legs, balance and strength, then each trial prepares me to be ready for those things which await me upon my expiration.  Patience is painful to them who want things right now, but to the man with his eyes and heart set upon glory, patience is the blessing that leads to maturity and hope of perfection.

What sins remain clutched in my grasp, especially those for which I am either deceived, in denial or refuse to relinquish?  I know what they are, you probably loving me, know what they are, what makes me think I can just go through life with them tight in my fist and not have problems in my relationship with God?  This is not rocket science, yet seeking an excuse I proclaim it impossible, hoping that even one person gives me justification or adequate sympathy to allow me to self-excuse my wickedness and un-repentance.

If I hate then I am an angry fool he doesn’t take seriously God’s unconditional love for me.  If I steal then I do not trust God and haven’t the requisite faith to believe in his promise to provide for my every need.  If I lie I am denying my identity in Christ and hoping that the world with love me for the man I purport myself to be.  If my eyes lust for what you have or deny you what is rightfully yours then I without love in my heart and seek to be fulfilled through the pride of consuming everything in my sphere of influence.  Truth requires honesty, honesty requires transparency, transparency requires confession and confession leads to forgiveness.  Without truth there is no forgiveness.  Why do I continue to believe that I can somehow shave the truth and still get bye?

It is okay to want, but offer those desires to God and be thankful with what he gives you knowing that his will is best for your life.  Sometimes a Father says NO, because what you have requested is neither good for your life, leads to prosperity or fulfills his plan for your time in this era.  Do not stop asking because that leads to a poor relationship with God or to your own efforts to fulfill your provision.  He is a good Father and wants the best for you, but know this when you ask him, that the answer can be  YES,  NO or Wait on his timing.  Do not demonstrate your rebellious nature and your lack of love for the Father by going and doing what you wanted to anyway.  Your relationship will suffer and though your sensory blessings may be temporarily fulfilled your long term blessings will be stunted and may never come to fruition. What are you living for the here and now or for eternity?

Decision and demonstration, decision and demonstration that is the process of identifying what is right and truly in your heart.  If you decide for Christ and hold that relationship in the greatest love, strength, mind, soul and spirit then you will forgo the short term benefits of fleshly pursuits.  If you want what you want when you want it and are determined that God’s timing is always too long, then you will find your blessings are only available in this life and not the next.  But beware, your actions now identify where you are in your walk.  Don’t act worldly and then be surprised at some point that you weren’t counted among those Spiritual few who are called according to his purpose.  Your decisions are your decisions, don’t blame God, don’t blame your wife and don’t blame your parents, because on that fateful day it will be only you and God.

In Jesus name I pray that you take a realistic look at your life and make determinations based upon what you see.  If you need some help, I am certain you know a Christian who loves you enough to tell you truth and pray for you to have a change of heart.  God guide you in your journey.

Why do you think that the Emperor Constantine suddenly felt the urge to bring Christianity in as the basis for the State’s Religion of the Roman Empire, choosing to welcome all the Pagan religions to join, bringing with them their specific traditions and rituals?  What was his impetus for such a bold move, when the Emperors before him had lit the Roman Road with candles fed by the burning flesh of believers in Christ?  He was a follower of many gods but the main one was sol invictus, the Sun god.  It was only after pursuing a method by which he may defeat his enemy’s and achieve total victory was he made privy to the sign of the Cross.  After his mandate, he worshiped the one god, but many believe he felt that this was still the sun god.  It was only later after the state moves and winning many violent victories that he began to study the Word of God and realize the identity of Jesus.  Is it possible that satan acting in his role as the sun god led Constantine to take up the Cross of Christ, so that his minions could effectively join the church?  Each of us will have to make a decision for ourselves on that one.  However, I do think it weighty that until that point evangelists, pastors, disciples had been treated as respected servants of Christ and they suddenly became titled heads of state, welcome at the Emperor’s table with titles and fat purses authorized by Constantine.  Did satan pull the greatest deception upon the Church in the 3rd Century?  Did he elevate the clergy to a state of being appointed positions between man and God, creating no need for the Holy Spirit?  Is this the moment that destroyed the purity of the Church as the “set apart” bride of Christ, allowing in Pagan philosophies, Gnosticism and worship of counselors rather than God’s Spirit?

There is no way to look upon the Vatican’s violence and history of non Christian behavior over the millennia without discussing these events.  What did we exchange at the Counsel of Nicea, perhaps the truth for a lie?  Did we lose the power of the Church because we allowed satan to fool us into believing in the purity and power of man rather than the ultimate power of Salvation/Sanctification only found through God’s Holy Spirit?  Well to ask these questions it will cause conflict, but to not ask them will potentially leave the Church in its present neutered state.  I want the Power of God, to be a disciple, heal the blind and set captives free.  I don’t want the bending reed of some willow of italia, that enriches no one but the Catholic Business Operations.  I am certain passions will fly as is normal with questions of this magnitude, but I ask them in peace and a desire to return the Power of God to Christians in the Church Body of Christ.  I wish that I were wrong, but this is the only plausible explanation for our loss of authority.  If you have another please share your thoughts, by the way anger is not a thought it is an emotion.  So, please exercise some self-control, which you should have as a indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  Oh, you don’t have self-control, well then maybe this idea is closer to the truth than you would allow?

I pray all the blessings of God upon all his children.  I pray that those who do not know Him would be filled with such a compelling by the Holy Spirit that they are forced to seek Him out.  I pray that those who have just been calling themselves Christians wake up in time to find that they never knew Christ, nor He them.  For this is the greatest tragedy that could befall men, either to be sent to Hell because they failed to make a decision based upon the authority of the Gospel or that they went to hell having believed themselves saved because of saying a simple prayer that never introduced them to Christ.  In Jesus’ Name I pray.

If I shout to hear the echo isn’t that just proof I wish to hear myself speak?  If my words, confound, expound and entertain do they serve any purpose other than to boost my self-superiority?  Or perhaps I preach to make up for some insecurity complex, thinking myself holier when the Word dances off my lips.  Maybe service isn’t service at all as you see my name plastered on placards, thank you’s and honorable mention throughout the house meant for worship.  Perhaps I can get you to put a spot light upon my silhouette as you admire how I sing to God.  One common overwhelming theme, a whole lotta me.

If I wait until you fill my mouth with the Words you would have me say.  If I start my day upon my knees before I plan my way.  If I dance because your spirit makes me want to jump and shout.  If I get lost within the story then you are what the story’s about.

Have you ever had a servant, steal his master’s place?  Have you ever seen a dead man with a smile upon his face?  Have you ever seen a pit crew member take the cup at the end of the race?  If the camera’s aimed at my glory then glory wasn’t what it was about.

Is there another way to worship Jesus, then doing what he told us to do?  Is there another way to glory then through the door we were told to use?  If I can’t earn my way to heaven then perhaps the other way will have to do.  The only pathway to redemption is to believe that it all is true.

Father remove me from the equation, except for the part where I lend a hand.  When the wars begin and storm is raging give me courage to take a stand.  When the darkness seems to be winning, remind me of the victory you have planned.  If I’ve forgotten every thing else let me focus on facing You.

If I sing let them picture your greatness and all the love you share.  If I talk let it encourage to go where others don’t dare.  When I preach let it excite them about just how much you care.  Let every thing about me point them directly to everything about you.

This I face anew.  Rising with the dawn, sunny skies or gray the knowledge of a new start mirrors my waking.  Yesterday, not forgotten, but replayed as a new insertion in the guidebook of my growth, I look to that which lay before me with expectation.  Remembering Him, who guides each step I begin with smile, refueled through opportunity.  What face I this day, this morn, this happy afternoon?

Who the people, that perchance I may gather as new friends, students, cousins, Brothers?  Their ideas each wondrous, asking, inquiring, pleading for hope and answer.  These treasures are captured for eternity, never to rust, be broken, stolen or lost, awaiting my arrival at the footsteps of dawn.  I revel in the knowing of each person to whom I am accustomed.  May this newness of meeting preserve the fruits of my understanding.

Faces, places and things, bringing experience and emotion.  Shall they be feared, dodged, limited as input, apprehended to overwhelm?  Or perhaps accumulated, sifted, shaken, reviewed and stored as puzzle pieces or clues to humanity?  Interaction is not a fraction of life lived but the greater sum of the lesser parts.  For within hearts are stored reflections of God and wickedness to be read, fed and bothered.  Stirred up in reaction to this illustrious gift called life.  What shall come of this energetic beginning?  I look to hope and know that it certainly will become a great day.  The judgment is not mine only the perspective, coloring my view with amber or crimson or nightshade.  How then do I see tomorrow if I refuse to view today?

I giggle as I walk, slowly at first and then wobbling quite swiftly.  I lead on, daring you to follow.  Into a future that only a child can see, pregnant with opportunity, people and life strewn in regalia before us. Singing in harmony with the song of my mind, I remember the smells of Mom’s kitchen.  Burgers burnt, veggies buttered and bread so tender and fresh, but even more acute are the faces of their youth.  Excited, expectant, frightened and alert to the unknown, but ready to crack on into the undetermined.  Oh that somewhere in the desperate night those hopeful faces had not been stolen by that thief of consumption, but renewed at the coming of the light esteemed in the knowledge of God and His peace eternal.

What is wisdom to you?  A fickle concept, elusive maybe waiting for you at that point in the future when you’ve grown into maturity?  Who holds the keys to wisdom?  Is it something that is learned, earned, shared or something random?  Why even care?  Isn’t ignorance bliss, and mindfulness akin to peaceful existence?  What is the expected market price for wisdom, and shall I pay even if I don’t view the need?  What then happens to me after ward?  Will I need new friends, new clothes, new vocabulary?  How does one even begin the process of finding something so inexplicable?  You may find that wisdom has always been a gift given to them who seek her in spirit and in truth.

Proverbs 2 — The recipe for wisdom