When God says let it all go, is it a process for you as it is for me? Instantaneous response to orders was the expectation in the Marine Corps, yet with the Sovereign God of Creation I dare to take my time. How does He bear with me considering the way I treat Him?

What is a gift but the love wrapped up in something material, spiritual or emotional given as recognition of Love and adoration. Never deserved any of this and then to hang on to the things I thought I created is just misery accounting for nonsense adorned in the nonsensical.

What pain causes a man to clutch to things that taint the wound or put pressure on the broken bone and sinew around the heart? None of this makes much sense, kneeling ridiculously before the Throne of Grace I wonder why God every thought to place a calling?

This heart has never known real love, never known the peace only found in Grace, yet God still pursues me and uses me for the most precious work He ever predestined man, those who He loves. I thanked Him last night for allowing me to do this work sneaking into the casting call.

I have slipped into every outfit in which I have found myself presentable. Sure I was adequately gifted by God but I knew that He was the only reason I ever got seat at the table. For to love as deeply as I do no man is allowed to wander freely among the minds they need conformed.

God has made me their greatest fear a man that will teach them of God’s Courage. Not afraid because I am some hero or have some mindset superior to the casting, but because my fear long ago met the protection of God and Angels in the dark of night and the driest desert.

We are not allowed. Yes, participate, share, frighten, arouse ambition, envy and contagious misunderstanding until challenged. When they see the lack of death’s pressure in my eyes they learn something they never wanted to venture about themselves and the grip of life.

We are arriving at a time that was made for a certain type of man and woman. Those who have looked upon all that this world may offer and wanted something more, something only found in surrender, self-denial and hope upon things not seen but known. Only unproven.

Letting go is okay though it always comes with the sense of loss even if the things let go were more painful than the thought of that loss. This time as often before I have no idea, no vision what lay around the next bend and though full of excited mystery it always touches the bottom of my heart’s barrel.

That scraping sound of empty is my greatest upset, tasting once again the emptiness of self found in the thorn’s and thistle’s of my planting. But it is immediately dissolved seeing the blossoms of tomorrow’s harvest knowing that even in punishment I did something for God.

Mourning is not a career, nor is dancing upon star dust throwing chrysanthemums along the well lit path. Range of motion and flexibility of response are the tools of readiness and repair.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to bored to slumber in a life that has lukewarm events and little spontaneous delight or despair. Abundance is not simply an accumulation of delight or sorrow, but a vast array of experience, hope and yes remorse for loss of those we love.

Lilacs and Daffodils are wonderful to smell, look upon and remember but so too are the frogs, winters and huge broken branches from storms that we survived. It all makes me.

Tragedy is not my friend but in tragedy I have made the best of friends, people who without the help we offered each other might have never met. As if the experience were the opportunity to collect the rare people and events.

Slumber not when light still stands to meet the demands of the Divine on hand and heart, not just the end but middle and the start. Some of the best learning collected were the worst times.

Along the road to heaven’s gate one can never be early or arrive a little too late. For it is not fate that makes us wait but the weight of wisdom that sponsors one date. A perfect time.

I love this world, you and all these choices, even appreciate in a loony way the passion and the voices. But home it calls not tonight that seems so alluring but the timing’s just not right.

Do I say things to be heard, to influence thought and action of the sphere to which I may imaginatively provide influence? That part of me writing for audience wants that to be hidden for all manner of reasons.

This site and those who have read it for nearly 15 years was established by a young man writing in the code of the mind as vehicle to write those things in the only rational manner to achieve privacy, while getting it concreted in this dimension.

Radically, singing the songs within a heart that was drummed into believing a rhythm plaid singularly to God and to self was unacceptable in this conformist reality. All of those aspects which represent success in this world have been avoided on purpose refusing to become the man I was beaten, intimidated and threatened to become.

What does this cost, well: glory, money, position, passion and fame? I determined having found some measure of all that none would reflect my love and passion for Christ Jesus. It hurt to let go of the world’s trappings but not nearly as much as abdicating the Purpose God had for my life.

So, what words shall I send to you, knowing fully that both my desire to speak freely in my own language while fully comprehending the: sharpening, ministry and edification that I may do through the gifts of spirit and the Truth of His Word? Do I actively want people’s heart to be aided and persuaded while offering hope and trust in the Promises of the Lord? Well I would be both foolish and untruthful in saying otherwise.

You whether friend or considering yourself my foe are the treasure of God’s Pursuit. It is my greatest desire to be a vessel/junket of God’s Perfect Will for mankind. That means He is waiting for ALL of you to come to Him and find everlasting Life, that you may live on beyond this temporary field of testing.

What then has he made a sensitive young man whose only avenue was to both hide but find glory to aide in inferiority recovery? This duality is the only path that could possibly lead to these moments in fulfillment of God’s Purpose in my making.

You see, we must experience the factual instances or experiences in this life to prompt the sharpening, ministry and edification producing the end result of useful witness and gifting. Upon reflection of the road behind me I find that this life was perfect in offering me choices. These choices produced what you read before you. Equally producing the aspects of internal review and blossoming imagination but the impacts and gravity of the Words God has given me to share.

By nature in Creation we are forced to man the crossroads between Emotion, facts and Spiritual understanding. Often our Brothers and Sisters prone to self trust or gut wisdom are found in direct conflict with the things of Faith. Our maintenance and freedom to experience joy in all things then resides at the discernment between these competing voices and the VOICE OF GOD.

Armed with this revelation we then know there are going to be contending ideas and voices at each interaction. That being the reality we should prepare ourselves and control our emotions when this battle for the mind arrives. Anticipation and preparation of processes designed to effect this reality then become essential to attainment of peace and good direction. If I know and have heard all the voices/perspectives associated with those information sources outside of God’s then I may measure them against the Word and find His discernment as the Guiding Influence to reason.

Christianity is impossible yet simple at the same time, the Singularity of Christ Jesus. He created all things and yet is the finisher of all things, a quandary to man’s defining instruments. God, yet man, friend yet Sovereign, Power, Passion and Peace with a wrath that will separate mankind along the line of belief.

My belief in the miracles of Spirit empower me to expect, do and reflect upon victories beyond my personal measure. The impossible is what I anticipate, not as defining barrier but as avenue to achievement. God says I may move mountains into the sea. Without an understanding of His capacity to shatter the definition of the impossible this statement appears fiction. It is therefore through belief that all is achieved for my carnal instincts of heart, emotion and gut will always be stopped by the mind’s definition of the impossible boundary.

We must contend with the gnashing question of why we are here? Not just on this Earth but for such a time as this very moment we confront in either frustration, obliviousness or joy.

It is particularly difficult to be a scientist and contend that Life, all Matter simply happened from the void of nothing to second later all of this. Even if that were possible which it isn’t it still begs to original a plan that would creating everything from nothing. NOTHING, NOTHING, BOOM, EVERYTHING.

Then there is the deeper question as to why we would want that to be the answer? Why would people be content with such foolish explanation? Wouldn’t that immediately provoke us to wonder from what we need to escape. What drive would be that complex that at all cost we would ignore the obvious to pack it with the sublimely unrealistic?

Are we responsible for the things that are being done on Earth? May I simply blame it on THEM and sit without blame for the hungry, poor, dying and innocent unsafe? May I look away from the things that I have done to get what I want at any cost? May I simply be so narcissistic that I remain impervious to any personal responsibility?

This leads us more closely to the answer. Only those who want to know will know and those who seek to avoid personal accountability will also keep themselves free from those things for which they CANNOT be held to account.

OUR SIN, is the answer. The LIFE we have been given so clearly not accidentally is to honor, avoid or account for the impact of our sin against that Life and its giver. Without sin, there is no conscience. Without its wages there is no reason to fear such gravity. Without Sin, life eternal perhaps may have been our intended creation, until that abruptly ended with EVE’S deception or ADAM’S disobedience.

Simply put the God who gave us life could have laid before us no prohibition, no command, no direction. He placed before man a choice of character and direction. That choice is Love. Thus all with which we struggle is about the Loving Choice of Life over Sin and Death.

Any character that influences to make that choice is not responsible for that choice except as God deems it, yet we seek to blame everyone but ourselves to escape that itchy feeling of guilt for our wrongdoing. Isn’t it odd that we know right from wrong enough to be guilty for our actions?

This world is in chaos for the same reasons. We choose Sin over the original obedience of Everlasting Life. We are stealing, killing and destroying those people, powers and things that stand in our way of Self Achievement. Like it or not Mankind as a Group is responsible individually and collectively for our predicament.

The Bible says this very fact yet we seek any alternate explanation other than the accountability be face before the Throne of God. Oddly, it said we would do that as well. There is no escaping the simplicity of Truth and the complexity of our lies. Or is there for we also hate repentance and surrender as the ONLY avenues to forgiveness. That is why we hate Christ Jesus’ because we always want this life to match our personal desires for it.

Would you lay down your life for a stranger or someone you know hates you? That is exactly what our savior did.

I am not in the business of judging people, in fact I know that my target audience is every one, the wicked and the good. In fact, that logically means that those who hate me or who I despise would be the primary targets for conversion by introduction to the Power of the Holy Spirit.

Does that mean that I surround myself with the world, befriend the world, cohabit with those who hate me, will hurt me or detract from my personal commitment to being in the best readiness for the Spirit’s work? Friendship with the world is enmity with God. That means it is hate/war between us and God. That won’t work.

This is at least in consideration a huge rub. I must commit myself to the transformation of hearts to God while remaining untainted in that interaction.

Doing this is impossible for each of us, period! If we do not begin this skinny path venture in the understanding that what we are joining is impossible only made possible by miracle both in the hearts meant for change and the attaining of purity by each saint it fails before first step or at least is tested and made pure in the fires of Holy Spirit’s conviction, counsel and remaking.

That being said, I cannot remain in the fellowship of those who remain the children of disobedience perpetually for I will be inevitably adopt their mannerisms, thoughts and objectives. Jesus showed us his example; work in the day, rejoice with those who hate and love and then separate each night to the body of belief.

What that indicates about the disposition of those I call Body is perhaps the most difficult lesson of all. You will know them by their fruits said King Jesus. How will I remain or become pure by having those uncommitted to purity in my Holy Body of Family? Not going to happen.

That makes it of paramount importance in choosing Husband or Wife beloved. We cannot marry someone who will be asking us to sin repeatedly, for we love them and want to meet their needs and if their greatest need is our sinning. What then?

This is not blaming or shaming anyone but clarifying the understanding of the impossible venture on which we have departed. Additionally, the choices we make must be the clear choices not simply of emotion or desire but that same presence of mind that Purity, righteousness and true are the Only objectives in Love for Christ’s Body.

It is impossible to become Holy, Righteous and Remain blameless before the Throne if we continue to gravitate to the disobedient or surround ourselves, marry ourselves to those without the mirrored commitment and dedication unto death for obtaining and forwarding God’s Will over our own.

None of us is perfect but that does not preclude or expel those who want to become so being the best choice for our mates and coworkers at home where it is us making those decisions together.

I will lay down my life when God asks it of me for those disobedient, those who hate and those who love. I certainly hope that it would a pretty clear choice for those whom I love. For they are the best thing in this life as they will be in the next. Am I living that life Now? Are You?

Folks are predicting golden days and restful nights. That is passionate expectation. The Bible does not predict this golden future, though arguably none of us know truly when things are going to occur. What we do have is faith as God has told us things would happen and over numerous thousands of years they have occurred as prophetically described.

Yes, my heart wants the hunkie dorey story of our own telling to be true and last forever, but that is fragile thinking. Why, we have never seen a time in history that was safe and secure for the innocent and vulnerable. Certainly we have see survival of the fittest played out for centuries, but never the peaceful utopian dream that is painted on the inside and hallways of gray matter throughout Man’s thinkers.

Having been said those who will fair the fullest are those who have established a close relationship with God. As already admitted we don’t know the timing of God’s predicted and predictable events but what we do know, confirmed by the Lord Jesus, that we would know the season. The dilemma for those preaching or evangelizing is that people appear to be going out of their way to deny, avoid or ignore the clear Biblical Signs of Season in our modern circumstance.

Not that we wish to live according to circumstance or use it for evidence of faith, but a series of events that precisely match Biblical Prophecy happening in rapid succession are clearly not simply coincidence. This may not be viewed through the lens of fear but the obverse the lens of good courage and readiness as these circumstances indicate the soon return of God and His coming wrath upon all wickedness.

What do we want, well we desperately want things to be returned to Godly order? For chaos and war to end and a steady rule and reign by the only Righteous King, the Lord of Lords, Jesus. However, being rational about the warnings and practical of the discernment we know that this world is going to get truly shifty and dangerous before Christ comes. We have been promised Troubles but we have equally been given promise to overcome and the Power of the indwelling Spirit of God’s Word from which this enemy flees.

So yes there are golden days coming but not because some man or men are going to bring them, because they don’t truly want peace, at least not the True Peace only available through Christ Jesus. Yes, there will be an end to darkness, poverty and wickedness, but it comes as a successions of tests and trial over which we may endure. That’s how victory works you have to confronted with situations that are impossible in order to be supernaturally delivered from those trials by Faith in God.

It is coming of that we are certain. It is coming at the end of whatever God must bring us for all men to have the opportunity to be saved. If that is not my will then mine must be adjusted because that is how much God loves them. From a Marine Corps perspective, that is reflected in no man left behind. I love them, I may not approve of what they are doing but that matters very little as God changed a wretch like me. In Jesus’ Holy name.

His Story requires a certain mindset to consider. Why does the fall occur at the outset? It typifies the understanding that the story is about the redemption of the fall not about men standing righteous throughout only to fight wars against evil. In this story I am not the hero, though my ego bids me write that exact scenario into all of my recounting.

What if the story was never about me, but an invitation to see that God can create worlds and overcome even Creation’s egregious mistakes to return all of that creation to His intention? Why is it God’s Will that every human will come to the knowledge of His Sovereign Grace?

John 1:3 says, All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. When we consider that all things were made by Jesus, we understand that His Will is the sole provision of our success or failure. Considering His Will is that we are all redeemed to the Father then that will be the Overwhelming force producing all lasting outcome.

This scripture Truth also governs all those who want to contort the purpose of our Creation and the singularity of Jesus as the sole avenue to repair. If all of us were made for His Good Glory then all of us may only find that redemption on one path through Jesus to the Father. Thus No one comes to the Father but by the Son.

How does this sponsor, change or adapt my thinking from outset to deliverance? This story is no longer my own but an offering that I may place at its rightful author in worship and praise of His Good Glory in Revelation to all mankind of our Creator, Jesus. This puts to sleep any deviation from a script that may not be contorted.

That washes clean our understanding of what it means to deny self and follow Him. For nothing of the story referencing me as subject but rather object and impact point of the true Hero God, I may now clearly align my thinking, prayers and actions to achieving through miracle and personal effort HIS glory as the ONLY True objective.

Praise God that I am a part of the realization of His intention for creation, fall and restoration. Through my dependence upon His Entire Faithfulness I get to enjoy deliverance as outcome. Yes, I am a bit part in a super Universal telling of His Story, but I am overcome to think that He ever even considered me to play any role whatsoever.

I so wanted to trust people maintaining my faith in the principles of loyalty, faithfulness and honesty. However, having been shown repeatedly that each time a nice guy gives in or appears to be weak the nastiness ensued. The problems would have been resolved if People would let me lead as I was designed by God, but alas they cannot follow so what is the point of repetitive discussion. We can tolerate a lot as men of God but at some point the contempt, the argument the shoving match will blow up, as men we understand that process, as we invented it. Some men are less tolerant of bullying than men of God but even we get mad and form a whip of three cords while turning over tables.

I only have one power as a Man and Pastor that is depart from situations that are going to bring me harm or that wish to contort the will of God for this ministry. I will not tolerate contempt. If you hate Jesus or hate me then I am free to walk away from you, especially when there are so many episodic events that threaten them. I only need God, but it is a true blessing to have the Love of Kindred Christians. Fortunately for all of us they are to be found for the seeking. I don’t need to fight with someone, in fact that is the opposite of what a Christian man is supposed to do. I deserve Peace as well and don’t understand why people would seek my help until they believe they have gotten what they want and then repeatedly hurt me instead of going and doing what they really want to do. NO ONE is stopping you.

I may have love and dashed wishes regarding a person or group, the division does not end the love but admits that it is not working for me and you are better off seeking someone else to work it out with. Recently people have been bringing up their Pastor’s with me, either trying to solicit some manner of criticism or envy with me. This will not be tolerated. Your Pastor, I would assume is anointed by Christ Jesus to lead that ministry. I will not contend with Christ and argue that anointing. I am not the head of the Church, please don’t ask me to be for I will walk away and seek counsel elsewhere. The Church you have chosen is the Body of Christ and I love and respect them and pray that you are filled to overflowing in that Ministry.

As my only power is to step away and be Pastor to whom the Holy Spirit directs on both our regards then my Policy is now declared. Only those led by the Holy Spirit to call me Pastor and receive that ministerial care. If you have a Pastor, go to him for council. If you need Prayer amen and amen this body will pray for you and your Pastor in his anointing. However, outside of this declaration I will not be playing the other Pastor for anyone as both of us and your Pastor are disrespected and potentially hurt in the Process, not to mention how it quenches the Holy Spirit. Please show respect, especially when you want something from someone who has the right not to meet that need. I don’t have to listen, fight, be harassed or cave to your disrespect. I will and have tolerated it to the point where now I have made the decision to step away for all concerned. If you cannot respect that I am sorry. However, I don’t see where having the same discussion over and over serves God in any way.

There are always room for miracles but it is God that does miracles not me. No more following the path and allowing you to lead. That is not your job and I do not have to stand for it. If you don’t like the rules of this body, then there are other bodies to join. If you have contempt for this Pastor, there are many others who I am certain will tolerate your disrespect. I am not angry just committed to this season of the harvest and will not cannot have those who are clouds without rain or worse yet Christians who want to manipulate and argue their way into authority. NO MORE. Either fit in or go your way. I cannot make it any clearer. Only loving me when I have stepped away is a wound that needs to be attended.

Facts and wants must be balanced and measured. The impossible happens when it does as we find ourselves in right; time and place prepared to see God’s intervention. So too with love. We may love with everything we have and yet the other party does not share the same resolve. That is why love is such an unselfish gift when practiced perfectly, for it does seek but gives, hopeful of return, but unexpectant.

Some comfortable environs must be surrendered for the sake of those who love demands need something outside of our provision. True family may not include both parties and when that is seen one must be released to pursue the greatest thing, the right circumstance and situation for them. That is a hard gift. A mature pursuit that never comes easy and always leaves a fair bit of bile and sadness at its acceptance.

Most will trundle through hoping upon hope that the situations will transform, that somehow things become right at some distant, anticipated crossing. But the impossible must be seen especially when it requires individual journey and departure to reach the point of conflagration. Each of us must choose to live that which is acceptable or perhaps give freedom to be available for God’s call where the impossible is achieved and history created.

But it is never good to be alone for extended periods, certainly knowing that God is close bye but even He said it is not good for man to be alone so it must be true. We all know the truth of singular pathways. Yes, there is a certain potency, clarity and personal power in taking the road entirely responsible for all impacts, choices and the music, food and fashion. However, none were made to be entirely alone as strangeness persists.

To be said most consider a direct connection as primary provision of love. Simply speaking with someone, making never giving more than that a simple suggestion, ear or extended interaction is the one thing they most didn’t know they needed. To that end God has a family for everyone, it may look odd to most but within it we all are meant to find that parallelism and pursuit that allows us to compromise, learn, grow and find mutual assistance.

The most difficult times may be upon us as we are called to complete refitting. It is never easy in fact for those who have spent so many thousands of days alone, being commanded to another stint of self regard is the last thing we wanted or expected. Nevertheless as Job so clearly demonstrated God commands what He commands for His reasons and sometimes those reasons have to do with His Good Glory.

Is that enough, certainly, the only argument I have with most is that not everything has to feel good in order to be right, just and Divinely prudent. The highest percentage of my experiences, especially those directed by God included some large measure of difficult, uncomfortable or training requiring endurance and self denial. Facing it with Joy, yes, but let us be honest in all things, we all want to have those we may depend upon.