If I shout to hear the echo isn’t that just proof I wish to hear myself speak?  If my words, confound, expound and entertain do they serve any purpose other than to boost my self-superiority?  Or perhaps I preach to make up for some insecurity complex, thinking myself holier when the Word dances off my lips.  Maybe service isn’t service at all as you see my name plastered on placards, thank you’s and honorable mention throughout the house meant for worship.  Perhaps I can get you to put a spot light upon my silhouette as you admire how I sing to God.  One common overwhelming theme, a whole lotta me.

If I wait until you fill my mouth with the Words you would have me say.  If I start my day upon my knees before I plan my way.  If I dance because your spirit makes me want to jump and shout.  If I get lost within the story then you are what the story’s about.

Have you ever had a servant, steal his master’s place?  Have you ever seen a dead man with a smile upon his face?  Have you ever seen a pit crew member take the cup at the end of the race?  If the camera’s aimed at my glory then glory wasn’t what it was about.

Is there another way to worship Jesus, then doing what he told us to do?  Is there another way to glory then through the door we were told to use?  If I can’t earn my way to heaven then perhaps the other way will have to do.  The only pathway to redemption is to believe that it all is true.

Father remove me from the equation, except for the part where I lend a hand.  When the wars begin and storm is raging give me courage to take a stand.  When the darkness seems to be winning, remind me of the victory you have planned.  If I’ve forgotten every thing else let me focus on facing You.

If I sing let them picture your greatness and all the love you share.  If I talk let it encourage to go where others don’t dare.  When I preach let it excite them about just how much you care.  Let every thing about me point them directly to everything about you.

This I face anew.  Rising with the dawn, sunny skies or gray the knowledge of a new start mirrors my waking.  Yesterday, not forgotten, but replayed as a new insertion in the guidebook of my growth, I look to that which lay before me with expectation.  Remembering Him, who guides each step I begin with smile, refueled through opportunity.  What face I this day, this morn, this happy afternoon?

Who the people, that perchance I may gather as new friends, students, cousins, Brothers?  Their ideas each wondrous, asking, inquiring, pleading for hope and answer.  These treasures are captured for eternity, never to rust, be broken, stolen or lost, awaiting my arrival at the footsteps of dawn.  I revel in the knowing of each person to whom I am accustomed.  May this newness of meeting preserve the fruits of my understanding.

Faces, places and things, bringing experience and emotion.  Shall they be feared, dodged, limited as input, apprehended to overwhelm?  Or perhaps accumulated, sifted, shaken, reviewed and stored as puzzle pieces or clues to humanity?  Interaction is not a fraction of life lived but the greater sum of the lesser parts.  For within hearts are stored reflections of God and wickedness to be read, fed and bothered.  Stirred up in reaction to this illustrious gift called life.  What shall come of this energetic beginning?  I look to hope and know that it certainly will become a great day.  The judgment is not mine only the perspective, coloring my view with amber or crimson or nightshade.  How then do I see tomorrow if I refuse to view today?

I giggle as I walk, slowly at first and then wobbling quite swiftly.  I lead on, daring you to follow.  Into a future that only a child can see, pregnant with opportunity, people and life strewn in regalia before us. Singing in harmony with the song of my mind, I remember the smells of Mom’s kitchen.  Burgers burnt, veggies buttered and bread so tender and fresh, but even more acute are the faces of their youth.  Excited, expectant, frightened and alert to the unknown, but ready to crack on into the undetermined.  Oh that somewhere in the desperate night those hopeful faces had not been stolen by that thief of consumption, but renewed at the coming of the light esteemed in the knowledge of God and His peace eternal.

What is wisdom to you?  A fickle concept, elusive maybe waiting for you at that point in the future when you’ve grown into maturity?  Who holds the keys to wisdom?  Is it something that is learned, earned, shared or something random?  Why even care?  Isn’t ignorance bliss, and mindfulness akin to peaceful existence?  What is the expected market price for wisdom, and shall I pay even if I don’t view the need?  What then happens to me after ward?  Will I need new friends, new clothes, new vocabulary?  How does one even begin the process of finding something so inexplicable?  You may find that wisdom has always been a gift given to them who seek her in spirit and in truth.

Proverbs 2 — The recipe for wisdom

Every time I cry I imagine it my last.  Big, salty tears of joy and pain, releasing, transforming, reminder of blessings, discipline and freedom.  How perfect the human capacity to have “a moment”.  The silence or raucous reminder of how crucially important life is must always be.  Why then is there always an ending, to time to reason, stories and seasons, it all comes to eventual finality?  Is that ending what makes life so precious, that it has time limit, that its pursuits, attempts at longevity by indelible mark upon history?

My belly surges, not hunger, though an appetite reminds us of blessings, this time it is repetitive sobs for mankind.  Not weeping because all is lost, joyous throws of relief because some have answered the call to spirit.  To see them remember his name and give him rightful position in prayer is perhaps my greatest joy, next to the knowledge that he knows me by name.  But this too is fearful, for if he know me then he also must have command of my life and task to which I must, if faithful, respond.  What have we become Father that we could have forgotten the gift of life, given us, even for a moment.  May this moment, return my thoughts to pragmatic wisdom and forethought as to the price of the gift I’ve received.

Joy is the answer for it is free, priceless and infectious.  Not the poisonous contagion of sin or sickness, but the grandeur of transferred light source.  My heart burns with the light of God’s Spirit, my arms filled with the strength to stand the storm, my footfalls guided by the aura of Christ, setting the path of glory before us.  These tears are healing, they are emotion, they are symbols of my truthful heart.  For I weep for all of us that we might soon remember our place in this universe, this nation, ville, and programmed DNA.  For we are men, let us stay men and be free to serve God, filled with the joy that comes of just service.

I love you.  You cannot hear me because you focus on what the world has labeled you.  Investing your time in random or calculated attempts to somehow become acceptable to man.  Why not be as precious as you have always been right there in the skin that God gave you, designed for a purpose beyond  your own reckoning or imagination, designed for divine reason.  These tears tell me that it all matters, that though I convince myself I am not a part or debate with myself the value of our relationship, I am finally and faithfully confronted with Truth, Amen.  Love is my potency, my power, my answer, my calling, my weaponry, my tools and my prayer.  It is the one thing that will aide in darkness or light to find my way home, whether storm or sun, fight or flight.  You have taught me well Lord.  Thank you for your Love.  King Jesus Be Praised.

This is not tragedy, this opportunity to select grace or the lake of burning testimony.  This is not some grand puzzle designed to confuse the minds of those with limited intellect.  This is the plan of a Loving Father, who set before us paradise at outset, and when we refused either by pride or disobedience, offered a secondary method of rescue.  This is His Glory personified in an offer so tremendous that it confounds the angels.  God loves us so much  that he prepared a method by a simple, logical choice we may inherit eternity and be joint heirs to all that Christ was promised.  These are not the idle whispering’s of a man who would be King, but the resolute, immutable promises of the King of Every Universe who wants us forever by his side.

Loving me thus, both humbles and honors my soul.  I was not cast aside as the simple man I see myself, but loved to the point of cleansing, forgiveness and to wear the robes of righteousness reserved for an unblemished King.  I was not wounded with stories of my insignificance, but set aside for power, in deed, word and living.  I was not forgotten, which is an easy human thing to do, but remembered and transformed and utilized to usher in the plan of glory for all mankind’s benefit.  I was and continue to be loved in a way that transcends my understanding of unconditional.  Though enemies look upon me in laughter, my King looks upon me and sees Christ, shining brighter than a billion suns.  I have been adopted into the family of the Most High God, this is not a thing of idle stories, but a miracle for all men to ponder.

This is not fantasy as the atheists are left without explanation, but to proclaim the God of Glory and myth, imagination or thought.  This is a holy God, who made everything and in that moment when we were created he designed a plan to deliver us from our own compunction to wander from authority.  That instant foretold our disobedience and prideful petulance.  Rather than doom us for all eternity, the Word spoke, offering men a choice of the payment rightly owed or reprieve through repentance and belief.  The foolish shadow beckons us ignore this as some folly, some historical nonsense or fable.  He shall be placed in shame by the same God who loves us so much he entered humanity to make fleshly payment for our trespasses.  No human king has offered his own life to save those he governs for this King is a Father who loves with that internal fire for His Children.  This is a shepherd who responds to the cry of each lamb, whether in trouble, indecision or grief.  This is the real stuff upon which man may stake forever, this is the greatest treasure of man.

So with clarion understanding I bid you make decision.  Make it now while the light remains bright in yonder sky.  For the darkness of night approaches, where all the chits are counted and if yours be not cast you will be counted as a nay.  Choose love, as he chose when we were first created.  Close your ears to this world, naysayers and your own corrupted heart.  Believe in something immovable, unshakable, unchanging the God who will always be.  This is no God to place upon your mantle, or rub his belly for good luck, or bottle for a wish.  This is a Holy and Righteous God so grand to look upon his countenance as a human we would die.  For the envelope of man’s spirit in this life has no contemplative capacity to contain the definition of a God so glorious, so grand, so Holy, so Pure.  But we shall know such things some day soon and it is my greatest hope that you join me on that Fine Day.  Praise you now and forever, Father in the name of Jesus.

Lord, Thank you for being there always.  This ain’t so bad, but I wouldn’t be sharing the same outlook if I didn’t have you with me throughout.  I see the things I was meant to learn that had nothing to do with fulfilling my expectation of the events.  They were not meant for my increase, though they brought an edification beyond any I contemplated.  I see things grow and nurture that healthy process.  They were made by you, but I am graced with the joy of holding their hands, or tending their leaves or plucking splinters from their paws.  A grateful thing.

Why am not on the run?  Isn’t that what my flesh beckons each time faced with un-pleasantry?  I have not fought, rather given in to the ridiculous demands of the bullies abounding.  Not out of weakness but out of controlled strength and truly wishing to see them win in the end.  For after-all I have begun to understand what it means to love them enough.  The truth frightens them, though it calls them forward.  They know its value but truly are terrified of giving up the identity they themselves are begging to be rid from.  This is joy.  I am not bridled by my folly filled aspirations but overjoyed at the plan I know you to be unfolding before me.  What is freedom but that which allows us to be ourselves without fear, falsehood or encumbrance?

Lord, your time approaches.  I see the signs.  I certainly have told them the truth and warned them that decisions must be made while time remains.  It is coming isn’t it and for that I am grateful, knowing that soon, I will be present at the marriage supper of the lamb.  My family awaits, breaking bread, laughing from their bellies thinking only of the goodness, innocence and righteousness before them.  Oh to see the peace at last.  Oh that this world would listen and be calm at your whisper.  Why must they evoke your wrath?  Bless you Father and all those who obey your commands.  I thank you for making it so easy to see, everything making sense and order or reason.  The joy of purpose in the service of someone in whom you trust doing something in which you believe to have been designed.  What roads lay before me?  That thought excites me like a child at celebration.

Thank you for providing the opportunity to use my talents and gifts to bring glory to your name.  I never would have guessed that I would be used in a manner such as this to bring hope, faith and confidence to so many in short timing.  You have truly blessed me by giving me the chance to speak love and light into the hearts of so many wounded, lost, fatherless souls.  I cannot imagine a better use of the gifts that you’ve provided, but I shall expect that the next stage will be no less awesome.  Thank you for being you, my Lord, my God, my King.  Jesus.

The rumblings of your coming judgment are breaking loose those graveled hearts.  Those in doubt are attacking us, testing us or inquiring at length the depths of our Bible understanding.  Practical methods of Christianity are making a lot of sense in these uncertain times and are less challenged for their day to day sensibility.  Still people do not wish to hear sound doctrine and go on defensive or offensive assaults when faced with the truth of your coming judgment and the need for a decision in this life time.  I am sad for them as they truly hate us for even suggesting that their own decisions will determine their place in eternity.  Forgive me for my insufficient character as your disciple, the many mistakes I continue to make and the times that I have attempted to deliver your perfect word through my own inadequate words.

Allow me to remain steadfast in your righteousness, clothed in the Truth of your garments.  Keep me from my own incorrect choices, allow your Word to permeate my every thought.  I do not choose to offend Lord yet they find your Word offensive.  I do not tell them what they must believe only repeating the brilliant clarity of Your Word and yet I am accused of all manner of censorship, discrimination and indoctrination, even for simple prayer.  The time of persecution has begun for your return, Lord Jesus is apparently upon us.  May your spirit be poured out on all people as your Word proclaims, so that they may make a sound decision within time.  Their projections are minor irritation Lord for we both know that I have neither judged them nor told them which choice to make, only lain the choice before them.  I see now how they have mocked and hated you since your last visitation.

Thank you for showing me the last things that must be surrendered before I am ready to be with you in the air, following you forever.  Allow me to finish the work you have set before me.  Do not let me shy away, limit, discount or inadequately complete that which you have commanded I finish.  I want the destiny to which you’ve designed me.  Let me take the actions that match the choices I have said and know must be made in order to complete that purpose.  Give me strength when I have none, courage when I only see my own imaginary fears and hope when all I see is despair.  I am armored in your characteristics, let me remain hidden in Christ the extent of this life, shedding the aspects of my flesh.  Let me never entertain the pestering voice of the enemy, may you rebuke him if you choose.  May his soldiers find no foot hold in my life nor the territories which you’ve bid me take back in your Precious and Holy name.  May I stand a beacon of your reflected light leading others to eternity spent with you.  Thank you Lord God in Jesus’ Name I pray.

Here Lord, hearing Lord. Waiting, watching and praying, surrendered.  It has always been outside of my control, the difference being that I’ve just acknowledged the fact.  Enjoying that concept, that I have no control is another topic.  Acceptance is evident in the joy of life’s contentment.

Why if I do not wish to be God, only resemble God’s likeness do I possess this desire to control every situation?  What is it in me that I remain so self focused in expectation, wanting the world’s conformity?  Are these not disparate beings and circumstances charged by their own potential for chaos or grandeur?  How odd for me to believe that the dice will always roll in my favor.  And to feel anguish or anxiety about such things is truly immature and frankly ignorant.  I am resolved, you be you and I will be me.

If it falls apart, I will worship, thank and serve God.  If I am successful and showered with abundance I will worship, thank and serve God.  If nothing happens and my life appears boring, I will worship, thank and serve God.  It has always been the constraining influence of my expectation that has created any consternation or disagreeing judgment with the effects of outcome of circumstance.  If I am okay with the effects and outcomes I am aligned perfectly with God’s Will.  And if I wish to change them then I ought to be on my knees asking for his intervention for this is the only humble method for a son to request a loving Father to change those factors.

People, the Bible is true, regardless of mine or anyone else’s lack of talent to express it in a way that convinces you of that truth.  Prepare yourselves for the Kingdom of God is at hand and the return of the Lion of Judah nearly upon us.  Even if you think me foolish, please read, understand and determine its verity for yourselves.  The God of our Forefathers has placed his hand of blessing upon this nation’s formation and growth.  He has removed that hand from us for our iniquities as a nation and only now has heard our prayers for intervention.  This is a reprieve, a forestalling of his righteous unveiling of judgment.  I pray that we utilize this brief timing and turn back toward him to prepare ourselves for eternity together.

And Waiting for the depths of my fulfillment.  What a blessing disguised as maybes or opportunities to help some who have lost their way.  At the outset, in the city it was pride that held me over.  My ability and capacity to out perform everyone else in stride.  But to do so caused an illness that fed off of your lacking victory.  A human sycophant I truly wished for my gain to become your loss.  Now, apparently since I hunger not for the foods of humanity I am abject failure in the eye of man.  There’s a reason we can’t see a similar understanding that has to do with the separation of spirit and the physical realms.  Can you hear that lowly whisper that beckons me to my knees?  I’ve forgotten you have not the ears to hear what the spirit is crying out to all.  Oh Lord Jesus in this moment grant my wishes to have them see you in the clear of day, for in darkness they stay lonely, devoid of the hope you provide.

The way ahead filled with obstacles, minefields and ranges set before me to promote my concession.  But I love this way, this difficult path, that requires I grow in order to get anywhere.  For, I have a counselor with all knowledge, leading me as Teacher and Guide.  In this journey, I finds tools and weapons to aide in the battle for which all men were designed.  There is wisdom, and maturity with patience and eventually faith.  Tasting the fruits of the bread of life and the water that leaves no man thirsty I am refreshed at every pass, wondering boisterously to the valleys below.

God how can things which are wrong be right?  Definitions are specific, not allowing a wide variance of interpretation, yet as men we desperately need to develop arguments that support our wisdom gone astray.  Must I humor derangement in order to reside in harmony with those under self-induced slumber?  These feet were made to be shod for the quickest path to peace, yet when men have apparently lost their mental faculties, how does harmony aid in their recovery?  Please believe me when I say that all I’ve wanted is to blend with the pride, but to do so would leave my Saviour standing and knocking outside.  I will open the door, no matter the resistance, no matter the forceful winds howling outside or battles cry for my Maker awaits, alive and ready to come in sup with each of us.  Amen.

Assume that I am wrong, that somehow I lack any humility and therefore no credibility to speak about God’s Word.  Let’s say that I have studied but somehow managed to incorrectly store, speak or deliver God’s Word, such that the meaning is completely different than intended.  Let’s say that I am annoying man and therefore incapable of effective delivery of the message of hope and love found in the Bible.  Let’s say I am the worst disciple who ever laid foot on the planet.  None of this matters, because even if I am so crippled by my own inadequacies, all I must do is pick up the book and read it to allow God’s Holy Spirit to rectify, overcome or transform any personal shortfalls on my part into something good.

Father, then if this is the obstacle which all man shall transfix to excuse their hearing of your Loving Word.  Let me be removed as a variable from the equation.  It matters not if they ever again hear one single, original thought from me if they would but be transformed, renewed and set free by your Holy and Righteous Word.  Forgive me, remove me from the calculus or give me confidence that no matter how poor a messenger I truly am that you have always been able to make up the difference or deficit provided by my lack of talent, skill, credibility or authenticity.

Now I may be truly bold.  For my insufficient delivery has been nullified as a factor in performance.  My arrogance or misunderstanding no longer infringe upon the majesty of God’s perfect scripture.  I have tried to be adequate, sufficient, talented and eloquent, but alas this is my lot.  My lack of talent no longer impedes the efficacy of the Biblical Message I am delivering.  Enough of my shortcomings, look upon His Glory, His Majesty, His perfection as a counselor, Father, Brother, Teacher and Friend.  He will never ever let you down, never ever leave you or bail out when times are tough.  He is the reason that none of my frailties have any consequence.  In fact my lack of talent demonstrates more effectively that he can take any tool and create something glorious.

I am overwhelmed to have been held in the hand of Almighty God and used to fix, repair or renew anyone or anything.  This is my greatest victory to be held close to God.  In Jesus’ name.