Father, I cannot begin to enumerate the times I have violated my conscience and clearly sidestepped, avoided, circumvented or just plain disobeyed Your commands and will for my life.  A life which, You created, You saved, You own, and for which You provide sustenance, water, air, warmth and shade.  If there ever was a child who has looked into his Father’s face and arrogantly waggled his fist it has been me.  There is nothing I own, No skill I do not owe to Your grace, no place I can truly count as mine, even my understanding of love was born when I first encountered Your Heart.  The weight of my guilt was too heavy for me to carry one step further into life, so You took it away from me.  There is nothing I have done physically, morally, philosophically or otherwise that could have purchased, earned or bargained for such kindness.

To say that because I believe in You and Your love for us grants me this abundance, bounty, forgiveness and wisdom is far too large and wonderful a concept for my tiny mind.  I say that I am grateful, but that is fragile.  I say that I love You but we know how weak my love has been.  I say that I will serve You but all indications are that I do this for myself.  I say that I believe yet hold on to my sin in direct contradiction of such understanding.  I say that I walk by faith but will not take the first step toward darkness even though my torch gleams.  I am thankful that none of my salvation depends on my worthiness, practices, righteousness or honor because of these things I am in short supply.  Give me true humility Father, the kind which calls me to love the unlovable simply because it is that which You require.  Teach me to give freely, wash my conscience so that I may be free to follow You in Faith, Love and Truth.  How is it that You love me when all I appear to do is fail?  Thank You for always letting me get back up to try again.  Jesus My Lord, Amen.