Who am I?  A spirit comprised of the building blocks from God’s created universe, resembling Him and to some extent every molecule around me?  Is that me, the pure, man as I was originally intended?  Or am I a compilation of all my experiences, the smells, tastes, repeated breaths and memories of this affected globe?  If I were able to remain clean, untainted, shouldn’t I be able to select my memories?  Don’t the things that I remember become a part of the whole, just as the bruise from a stone left beneath my foot for too long may cause a slight hitch in my giddyup?  Am I free from the stimuli, pain and shock, or am I simply a conglomerate of the good things that happen along this roughshod road?  If this were true then the new age thinkers would be somewhat correct, I would be able to cleanse myself of the filth of this world, eschewing bad energy for that which is fine and wholesome.  But that is not what I am, my memories have become part of the whole, although sometimes I wish they could be extracted.  I am encouraged or diminished by what my eyes sees, what my body feels and what my mind thinks or the stimuli which impact me in my wanderings.

I must be careful therefore, what falls before my eyes or the diet upon which I feed them.  Yes, in Christ, sanctification follows redemption, I most certainly will be freed of these impurities by the Potter’s Hand, but not now.  Honestly, I don’t know that I would want Him to remove everything I have suffered, learned or experienced.  This world has effected me as the brutal trainer it remains.  It is easier to love people having known my own weakness, having been subject to bullying, brutality, hunger, fear and sadness.  My bruises give me a special kinship or understanding for those who have suffered equally.  Perhaps this is meant to lead me to greater understanding of Christ, as I learn to rejoice in the sharing of His suffering.  For isn’t it proof of faith to be seen by everyone else as a servant of the King to the point of being included in those who share the contempt of humanity.  They cannot hurt Him anymore but we are often recipients of their hate, fear and mockery in transference.  Do I want to escape this opportunity or share in His live being lived through me?

It may be God’s intention for me to be transformed into the spirit being I was originally intended, but what then was the purpose of my time spent in this crucible?  Shall I become something more than when I entered, shaped by my experiences, my eyes and my memories or be stripped of every unwanted facet, revealing the pure intention?  That seems logical.  That somehow I will have been prepared for the next phase in my existence, the hereafter.  If these things that I think, hear and see, truly become part of me, then I certainly want to manage my memories, selectively preparing my mind for eternity.  If it will all be stripped away from me revealing the untainted, immutable center, then my life stimuli matters nil.  Since God tells us in Philippians 4:8, ‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.‘, then we must assume that what we see, think and hear does have a greater, lasting impact on our soul.  I may not be adept enough to escape the bumps and bruises, or am I certain that I would wish to, but there certainly are some experiences, stimuli and visuals that may be easily avoided by choice.

Lord give me the strength to forgo those things which do not edify my spirit.  Teach me and direct me toward those things of good rapport that may strengthen my soul in preparation.  Thank you so much for the experiences that are meant to educate me, hone me and shape me for Your intention.  Praise You Lord in Jesus Holy Name.