I was anointed by God for one specific set of tasks: To Love Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength like I love no other and to love my neighbor as I would want to be loved, spreading that Gospel message of Hope, Love and Power to all that I meet.

All of the other tasks though some enjoyable and perfectly designed for the gifts that I have been provisioned by God are temporary services that carry with the danger of shiny objects luring me from the skinny path of righteousness. I was ill prepared for the onslaught of attention.

I have never written all from the center of this heart, reserving most of the core of my soul to a protected status to which only few had access. I do not seek to indict anyone for the exposure or deceit I have allowed into this arena for I alone hold responsibility for leadership of this vessel.

It is not my intention to eradicate all interaction and access to the man that remains hidden for good purpose, but to do the diligence that I did not do at first in protecting my heart with the same love that I offer others. After all that is my sole route of soul mastery.

I am after all a Bible Believing Christian and know that we near an end to which many remain unaware and unready. The readiness for the body resides in the last books of the New Testament of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus. Peter, John, Jude, Revelation are the road map given by God that allow us to prepare for what swiftly and certainly headed our direction.

Combining 1Peter 4:17, Jude and Revelation 2 and 3 we see that the Judgment to come begins at the Body of Christ and that it has been infiltrated by those spirits that Jesus lays out which must be avoided, stepped away from and detached from our obligation of first understanding to God’s loving Grace.

We are given the roadmap of preparation and repair of our own intention for everything in God begins with the choice to believe and then act upon that Faithful understanding. I am at a point where I must rid myself of all that I have collected through good or bad intention along the path that should have been guided solely by my love for God.

I will serve what God directs me to relay, provide, teach or council. I am a man of God not a psychologist, influencer, artist or publisher. God’s content is not intended for my aggrandizement in wealth, fame or popularity. It must remain innocently related to God’s Love for you and for me.

Angry at myself for wasting moments. Self Rebuke necessary when seeing the leaky buckets into which I pour the majority of my will, pleasure and best efforts. Is it okay to be dissatisfied with a set of behaviors that never generate anything effective, rather appear determined against those best efforts? Is it okay to be my own best critic or shall we randomly float through life hoping for better outcomes?

In a bout of maturation I have given over ambition to review the items in your basket. So many want my review and I am less inclined these days to give in to the inclination to provide review for the purpose of projecting the internal conflicts upon someone with whom it is okay to argue. Yes, there are those who seek true health found in the lashes received by Jesus. However, I must ask is it loving to avoid those people who continue to argue, succor or support the wounds?

Just because I can see clearly the splinters, smell the fester of untended injury or am open to being a partner in the aspirations of those wanting to live their born again existence. I still have the choice to be involved, choosing to remain silent, not biting back words but knowing that they will only produce upset for me and all parties. Emotional investments require the best of us and ought not be pursued unless there is an understanding of the energy involved.

There are many who enjoy the dominion of occupying position of wise oracle, seated aloft, the defined elite and holder of grand and awakening ideals. I find no pleasure in looking downward from mantle or perch. Although, it is pleasant to have been involved in assisting those who truly seek resolution or growth. Trudging through the mire of perpetual misunderstanding is truly displeasing. People who do not want health are unlikely to find it.

What I want for them is truly insignificant and in fact the root of both our failed expectation and frustration. I do not love you because of where you are or where you are going I love you right now, because that is the true nature of Love, right now. However, as I age in this temporary life I am far less inclined to make close friends. Not because I am anti social but because most people, forgive me are so caught up in the script they are either writing or playing out that they would never consider the union of two hearts and minds with penchant for mutual aspiration of perfection.

It may be unachievable but God calls us to be set apart for that just resolve. Perhaps I may never reach that pinnacle of this existence, but isn’t it more about the determined effort than the result. After all affirming that it is an unreachable star to which I aspire in fact acknowledges my rational expectation of God’s timely intervention to bring about the miracle it will undoubtedly require to get this man any where near consideration.

For now my policy is to retract into my own dedications and effort. I cannot abide continually asking, expecting or hoping that humans will seek the best they might achieve. It is far better and less abrasive to simply wait upon people with those similar outlook. It is my job to love not help everyone work out their own internally played drama. I can love them and stay a few steps removed. There are relationships that deserve all but the longer I live the less inclined people appear to seek the greatest opportunity for loving existence for a host of disparate reasons.

Strong thought and word. The Bible however is the origin of my meditation. Matthew 6:33 begins my venture. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Does All these things include “thoughts and words”? Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:12 We are to be if possible of greater circumspection now that Jesus is gone. We are called A Body for greater reasons than my own wishful thinking or individual pursuits. The Bride, the Body represents the Female aspects of Christians. Who was deceived EVE? Deceived by her own aspirations to achieve something greater than she was given. Dominion, over her man, the world, her intelligence, GOD? As that reflection astounds in the protection of Christ, THE MAN laying down His life for the Body, in protection, preservation and promise, I must understand my own will has always been the greatest enemy as the Fallen, may they be rebuked will use my own compunctions as lure to my destruction. They are not omnipresent, they watch. As both shepherd, protector and member of the Bride I must be diligent in repentance and caution of my own EVEish desire to be like or above God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. Proverbs 9:10 As an anointed Pastor Eph 4 dictates the responsibility of that accepted gifting, I cannot simply think of SELF in holy service to God’s Holy Spirit’s guidance. Love you and understand the carnal aspects of my OLD and temporary man, just as I am learning the life everlasting I am currently beginning to understand. In Jesus’ precious name. Jesus after all was the seed of the Woman, EVE. God’s Name be praised. Since when did women become the bearer of the seed as well as womb?

Bigotry is a tainted state of love interrupted. To look upon any group with the intolerance of judgment that determines they are somehow disqualified from God’s Command upon me is self worship. There is no master race and there is no right of judgment given unto man. Yes, I am to step away from people who have chosen against God, but that demands that I first determine my own distance from His guidance and seek repentance. It does not give me the right to project and pronounce others unworthy of God’s and my Love.

A nurse must care impartially for each patient. Why would a secular healthcare worker offer that understanding as norm that which should be second nature for men of God? Yet, I demand the right to look upon any in creation with unwelcome? Weren’t the lepers the example given, that they were those Jesus sought to heal in loving grace? Those that serve the enemy will find themselves before the Throne of Mercy, Grace and Perfect Judgment soon enough. This is my examination by God for I must walk trial’s road.

There are many who preach doctrine of hate claiming they know Jesus. The exclusions of skin color, poverty, ideal and politics truly test the ability to love without prejudice or self will. In denial of myself I am forced to disregard daily the opportunity to exclude those who hate me for example in the offering of love. The Children of Disobedience suffer from the same mental and spiritual palsy that constricted Adam. They are caught in their sin and need the offer and choice of Freedom from health and death that Jesus died to provide them.

There are many on a quest for gold collection supposedly in the name of God. I do not approve of this pathway yet they too need to love of someone reminding them of their departure from the righteous path of wisdom and Biblical Doctrine. Self denial is hard for the very reasons it produces in man the character and drive to be consistent with God’s Holy Direction. Not so that I may use it as a psychological approval of my own false doctrine or eradicate the love that God demands from each of us. I do not make the rules just live them.

Making things, breaking things a true collection of the unexpected. Some loved, some sealed with Tupperware top to become affectionate left overs another day. Big men who move with a modicum of grace remind me of cattle meeting the pasture of first Summer’s Eve. There is great joy in a good run through the cupboard of my mind and dreams. Never know what discussions I will have as I go to God to validate what I have just seen painted on the canvas of nightmare and battle’s won. It really is better with all the mystery. Knowing everything and having a grand measure of predictability truly makes for a boring session.

Was always glad to take up the rear watching all the pains, grins and relationship forming on the screen in front of me. There is a pleasant feeling in handing someone the salve, coffee or biscuit when they didn’t even think anyone was watching. There really is joy in shepherding. Love is providing without having to ask but knowing if you ask what is sought and buying it before the inquiry. Lot’s of personal gains to being alone and simply having to care for oneself but there always comes the gremlin of being alone and thinking that all your thoughts are wise and wanted in and out of season. The tensions of not wanting.

Conclusions that lead to confusions because you thought you had the data and enough power to process the answers that turned out a bit unexpected. Is it always alright to tell them when they don’t know or is it better that they struggle enough to ask? The preamble to a gamble creates the same fear associated with looking away from God when the darts are thrown. It is not simply a matter of blind courage but firmly understanding that with God the risks are pre-mitigated. My rationale is sometimes not my pal as I have to ask two guys and a gal directions to the gathering. In a quest to keep my mind some thinking not refined I seldom have declined good advice for the other kind. Sometimes sense just makes itself.

It seems this script is going to end with a man kneeling in the morning sun lit horizon, a bush beside and a tree behind as birds chase the moonbeams to slumber. August thoughts Spring to Mind as Summer finds winter for hot and cold convo-topics. I like being the weakling sometimes it adds to the entire underestimation theme of this hero’s anti thesis. Recalling all the sublime and abstract additions I fed into the color pallet to add texture, depth and the sweetness of chunky marmalade. My lecture left them wanting as their dazed stare left me counting footsteps to the back gate. I don’t know but didn’t say I couldn’t guess the answer and that I never was expected to figure it out any old way. Left all the lights on.

These days, a rope burn around the arms and legs. A pestering thorn underneath our backside. The children mourn, old folks see their legacy in tatters and a generous swath off humanity appears absent common sense as they call for ideology of self destruction.

What Spirit captures our tortured thinking? Who governs mouths to say something encouraging or nice about those who share this march toward calamity? What governs the minds of men to promote hope and think of each other instead of meeting their pressing demand?

There is joy, found only in the promise of the future and brought into this day as shield and tool to diminish worry and what the eyes behold. For who may look upon the efforts and objectives of today’s mankind and see the eventual peace without believing the Will of God?

No, we have failed in our quest to retain God’s image. Departing from all that is holy in a quest for our own fame, fortune and minutes of pain of fleeting happiness. Our women fight us while men can’t muster enough will to lead to bring peace to their own households.

It is the master of sin we serve. The death and the payment promised as wages of this observance. We have sold opportunity for eternity to see something fleeting beneath our feet, something bad for us in our bellies and something next to us in the fornication of self.

They all want to hear cheerful verse of self consequence. They demand in meager tithe to see themselves glorified and in moments of false pretense to claim that they know God, when all that ever matter is that He knows us. We have folded the better hand we were dealt.

All of this leads to our own achievements our own imagined self and a world that reflects that inadequacy. A platter full of too ripe and not yet grown for the wonderful dream of presence with the God of all universes beyond time and the lasso of mortal limitation.

Can’t and won’t tell you what you should do. That is the greatest facet of freedom and love to be expressed by the individual as is God’s Gift of Creation. I can only warn you that those of power in this world will take that gift, own that precious freedom and deceive you into thinking they have something better, something that only they can get you. They will develop groups, councils, even under the harmless or noble title of Elder to control your worship, prayer, wisdom and giving. Just a reminder Jesus died and the VEIL between you and the Holy of Holies was torn asunder. If anyone tries to assert themselves as Arbiter between you and God He/She is False. You have an advocate beside God, You have His Holy Spirit within you as the Temple on Earth and You may go before the Throne of God covered in Christ’s Righteousness and Call Him Dad. Don’t let anyone usurp or cheapen that Amazing Grace.

Hypocrisy is the false man’s demise. Character may only be messed up once, as repentance allows forgiveness and opportunity for correction. Purity and works of perfection are an admission of the broadest stroke of human ambitions. For no one wants to be like everyone when the outcomes are dirty, tainted and miserable for the soul. I am so sorry for committing the same sin twice for I have shown my absence of Good Character.

Eve was deceived not by accident but because the desire to be equal to or above God lived within her heart. She was weighed and found wanton. Adam also ungrateful for having all made his woman the leader and disobeyed the simple but crucial prohibition he was given to serve his woman’s desire for more. Instead of saying NO, he joined her in her quest to be equal to God. This is not different than when a perfect angel considered himself the same.

I am no perfect specimen, it is clear to me why God picks broken vessels that need remaking. In my own frailties and reflection I see the same deceptive malformation as Eve and the Direct disobedience of Adam as I crave to protect what I want, My Will against God’s Fatherly direction to cast it off and deny myself to fulfill all that is Holy, Righteous and True. Even when it is just future promise, for without Faith in that promise I cannot please my Father and show him disgrace or contempt but never love.

This is the only unique thought in my simple existence, that I do not want to be God only like Him if He allows me to achieve it. I don’t want power, I don’t want perfection, I don’t want all the desires of my wicked heart for I have seen the error in my own ventures. My quest is not to achieve the desires of this wicked heart but to have it cleansed that at some point I may stop thinking and pursuing the things of self and serve God’s Will for this life and the service of others. That to me is attainment of something beyond the meager existence I may have gained.

Can I love you? Perhaps when done of my own understanding. Only through God’s Grace and the baptism of fire/transformation from the temporary and carnal may I see the objectives of God’s Wisdom and perfect hope. Look I never knew what Love was until I met Jesus. Sure I heard whispers and followed suggestions of the world as to what they believed were the bullet points of love, but women and men especially do not know what they want from moment to moment. Love being a discipline of the divine it is not simply about what we think will make us happy, but the jubilation and joy found in simple actions that sometimes have nothing to do with our own desire or outcomes.

It is not to do love right at first that I pursue. It is to make mistakes and do it right the second time, the time when Character matters after having failed and chosen wisely not of self but for the honest commitment to want to please the Father as He teaches me to love those He made. For a moment try to imagine loving someone you really hate, someone who has done you wrong, someone of true contempt. It is beyond imagination that this thing could be done of self, considering the long list of wounds and reasons for this person being deemed unworthy or my own failure and incapacity to forgive the primer for love.

I would rather spend all my moments alone than to love someone with the wrong intention. But it is impossible to love people spending all your moments alone, but rather admission that you will sequester yourself from the opportunity to express true love. Love is made to be messy, to hurt and to be so precious that you want to try it again and again until you get it right. But Love begins with God, so I must first learn in the tutelage of His expression and example, in fact I would venture to suggest it is impossible without this primary relationship with the Divine. So, I will be perhaps a bit cautious the first time of loving expression, but that second time I will prayerfully ask God’s Holy Spirit to do the impossible in my heart often devoid of His Character. To give me the capacity to look beyond the quest of self and Truly love someone as much as I love myself. To put them first, their joy, their hunger and thirst.

Anticipate, Prepare, stare off into the clouded sky hoping everything remains the same? What dawn awaits your imagination and prayer?

Who has given the seeds of future knowledge and the comfort, peace to stand and wait on promise? There is power in knowing what awaits.

Certainly, I am confronted with personal deliberation and decision about the worry we must face in waiting. For sure hope must replace all fear.

I am not in charge of what happens but knowing and choosing God’s Will over the world’s I am aligned with the Power that makes one of them certain.

How does that change: heart, thought, prayer, mind and ambition? Is character modified by knowing things that others daily, simply mull over repeatedly?

What are the fruits meant to produce when introduced into the body? How does the physiognomy of man change as this Spiritual diet transforms?

Why, oh Lord did you pick someone as obviously incapable of these miracles if not but to demonstrate that I never could do the necessary things of salvation?

There is glory in the patient Waiting. Belief armors, fruits adapt and fill the tool kit of man against the wiles of the enemy and the pressures of the world.

We then must decide to acknowledge the powers we have been given not as sorcerers or gods but as men equipped by God for the unraveling of His Will.

Or choose to serve our own imagination and doomed existence to be separate from Him here and spend eternity banished in pain and all we asked to receive.

Expressions of fear do nothing to solidify your defense, they erode, dissolve energy and prepare the heart and foundation for collapse.

Face it, the worst thing that may happen is your expiration. Oh, now we got the thread to pull apart your false sense of hope built on loam.

Did you die with Christ already? Born Again, what does that mean and why do they roll their eyes at you as you think they understood?

Everlasting life, that a fairy tale to them. Is it to you as well? If you are running around expressing, worries, doubt and pain what of it?

A man or woman living their new life now does not hang their head in morbidity and remorse at the possibility of losing this temporary existence.

In fact when you see this example you must confront it with the Holy Reason associated with being freed from sin and death. How can it be?

If you are still afraid of dying then aren’t you acknowledging the lack of salvation found dying on the Cross with Christ Jesus at Calvary?

I know it is impossible the good stuff and power starts with that admission. This is not a thing that you do well by mustering or maintaining your own energy.

This is a thing of God, A Saving Grace, A hopeful promise of all things being gathered at some day unto their Creator as HE promised.

Perhaps that is key, to look to the author and finisher of our faith instead of the tasks, talents, treasures and trials of the world?

As the hands of the potter shape the clay spinning on the wheel or punched against the table our job is best performed in the lack of resistance.

The shaping comes as we forget our fear and walk into the light of life that Christ has twice given, once to bring us the water birth, the second baptism by fire.

Those born of fire do not fear the flames. It is a quenching fire a taming hold upon the carbon based atoms of our making turning them to something new.