Most wish to argue but many want to instruct to repair or build their own self image. Should this be taken as threat or perhaps compliment? Why choose this knucklehead Pastor as the object of whatever internal compunction? They do not even realize the indication of their need for Relationship, Redemption, Repair and Revival only found in Jesus. What are they saying in pursuit of a dirt poor servant of the Most High? Well I will leave you to make your own analysis and opinion. For me they have come to the Temple of God’s Spirit to wrestle with Him. They don’t see me.
Why must woman control this Pastor, asserting whatever monetary, emotional, argumentative or manipulative authority to bring me in to line with their construct? Is this the same animal? Why do wounded women come to me demanding that I set them free from their victim’s role in the world? Again it was never me to who they proclaimed love but to Jesus, never seeing me but knowing that somehow I represent their worldly path to dominion in the Throne Room. Another mistaken strategic objective and misunderstanding the vessel standing before them.
The “unseen servant” is apparently my wrestling match. Absolutely over joyed to be associated with the Lord Jesus, even in mistaken pursuits. However, it is rather humbling to realize that these folks don’t want me near them or to have relationship they always want to keep me at least five hundred miles away from them and have arguments/relationship at a distance. This has always been a bit of nuisance for how does a man have a family, A Church Family if he has to remain an arm’s length from fellowship, worship, study and prayer? The strangest things.
I have had to drop the anointed label Pastor, because these folks usually maintain a local Pastor yet call me when they want to argue, discuss, receive healing prayer or just chat about how much the world is imposing on them. I am truly no one’s Pastor anymore for that is a one on one relationship that requires/demands an eye witness view of the believer’s circumstances, relationships and burdens. Whatever must be endured in this amazing gift of the relationship with Christ Jesus and the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit I pray the Lord educate, convict and direct me to go the miles.
For I love what He is doing in the world. The only way to our individual and collective salvation is found in His Plan for humanity. I apologize Lord for the discomfort I feel in my service and the lack of trust it represents. This is what I was made to be and do, they are some my vocation is my purpose and vise versa. Lord I must admit that accepting these truths is bittersweet for it demands that I surrender my own aspirations and objectives in this world. A quest to be seen, a desire to be loved and a general aptitude to contribute to a Family are all only found in the skinny path of my service.
