Words, Words I know, Words I use with confidence, Words I am reluctant to say when they require admission of guilt, expose my soft underbelly or set me up for public inspection of my most recent and tragic failures. Words of dreams and sequestered hope. Words of reason and argument, convincing when used cleverly to hopefully lead someone to a better walk. Words so precious that encourage, words that shatter, words that make it all better healing wounds along the way, with simple, honest words.

Answers; some I waited for patiently for years, having inquired of God, repeatedly begging to know answers to the deepest puzzle. Answers spoken softly hoping for a little bit of love, knowing that those answers seldom come cheap and often are not what we hoped they would be. Answers to questions so deep that we never want to make them lightly as they come with prices, decisions and scars. Answers given harshly to protect vulnerable hearts or cancel prayers that hoped for things that will never happen.

Anger, rage and fury shared at precisely the wrong moment, displaying elements of hidden character and fear that lay bare weakness, pride and unfortunate misery sheltered from general knowledge. Momentary sinful action capturing all internal power directly at some inert object flung across room or through front hall window temper, flailing, uncontrollable rage. Fury at the loss of dreams, priceless moments or stolen ambition. When nothing will listen except the fires and trash cans of the soul.

Peace, a thought, touch or kind gesture. Unexpected patience, no toe tapping, towel wringing or pencil snapping. A calm that neither enjoys or ignores the fireworks, but lets all thing be exactly as they are leaving my heart in calm. Roads traveled when everyone needs you, simply to hear the small quiet voice of Father, tempering, shaping, forgiving and offering counsel to a man who never deserved any of it. No music, no rhythm, no counting of seconds as they lead to hours. No Pleas, no harsh words, no begging, only listening to the quiet echoes bouncing around the inner walls of a mind that is just okay.