That fuming monster residing within each heart. The swearing, snarling buffalo with pupils wide and flared nostrils. Pawing ground, stamping raging at the sea and sky threatening all that moves. What is the calming influence for the raging pauper? Nothing out of nothing ever becomes something. How many prophets inquire? How many soothsayers roll bones, consult their idols, how many spirits are roused from a proper slumber to warn against it? Where has this desperate road yet to lead wandering hearts caught in the winds of upset, expectation and fury against all those things which are indefensible? I want no say-so. There is nothing gained by agony in breast of peace and precious. What grows shall not be the ripe fruits first promised. Nor the good grains waited upon throughout summer and August dwell. What transpired that lit the spark of fumes gone unprotected? What cost of patience not found or extended well past expectation or promise? What happens when waiting upon God becomes waiting upon those sent to you in defiance of what He’s spoken? No winter’s bound grip as He has told me. No return to dirt and sand in illness and vulnerability for it is time to encourage those on ventures plenty. I am not in charge and neither comfort nor entertain any illusion or folly therein. But I cannot simply have served your vision. I will give you my shirt and coat and walk with you double the miles you’ve asked of me. At some point what God demands of me may not be shuffled on the burners of importance. His call after all is the only one that must be answered. And not simply by choice but by surrender that has already been proclaimed and offered freely. Any man may walk away from shoulder to plow in so being unworthy of the calling from outset. If you have come to find such man then this must be the foundation of understanding in any personal vision, acquaintance or teamwork in ministry, enterprise or relationship. When pulled away from the feet which planted me firmly upon the Rock of Ages I will rebel, not against Him but against myself and you as needed. When I begin to sour it has entered the hour where I am no longer delivering against the expectations of a Promise made to Him. I cannot honor multiple promise if they are in conflict with the first. That is the difficulty in Christian vows or Fellowship. Neither party must act in such a way that is either unconscious to the anointing or commission and when so doing must be notified immediately in order to cease departure and avoid unnecessary wounding. God ended the war against us when we accepted belief and faith upon Grace and the wonderful sacrifice of Jesus. I owe Him everything. I will honor that which I vow. So, those vows must never be made unless in line with the Covenant I’ve accepted. This is not subtlety but the adamant resolve that comes with a man in debt to God beyond my ability to compromise or remand. There is no way forward but this, for their is no capacity to go back. Eternity awaits, God’s Spirit calls my heart and everything I’ve got for this journey. There is nothing my mind, heart or pack that will not be spent in its fulfillment.

In these moments. We see the dawn beyond the forest. No waking dreams, but the plain realities. If we’re so free, why are we captured in revelation? To all we thought, so incorrectly was the Truth. Paralyzed by expected passions. We failed to crawl to peer over-top the wall.

All they have taught, idyllic and ill fashioned. Were weak attempts to escape judgment of the King. In all fairness we knew. And still we plan to stand before Him. Offering excuse or prideful reasons why. In my short focused rationale, that’s not going to come off well.

The prisons before and in front us. Are shameful evidence of the lies I tell myself. To free my mind by shielding it from reason. Looking on to avatar and projection. I live the artificial peace I have convinced the children to embrace. Eating raw shards of glass and shadow.

This is not the universe I planted. Yet tainted fields of grain and sewage water I imbibe. Leaning back so convinced of my impression. I tally the medals and accolade I’ve won. In review of my dreams I promote myself to legion. Finding solace in the troop of my resolve.

The quilt or tapestry is invented in our promise. Those things we say so pleasantly inside. Yet aspiration is so often granted folly. That I may see my reflection in the mirror of life. Caught in the fantasies that the fallen always promise. Reluctant to mention my fear’s pride.

Dearly departed, we are gathered to witness the passing of ideas that bound in unity to overcome together against any opposition: spiritual, physical or moral. Indivisible is misunderstood if we stand now apart. For as the words: inalienable, immovable, unchanging or impermeable they portend states made possible solely by the Hand of God upon US. To waiver, falter or suffer from internal strife is direct evidence of a departure from the covenants men have accepted from the Creator. Departure to their own will in disobedient disbelief of God’s power and authority.

He is the singularity. Science will not find the God Particle for He is not a piece, building block or catalyst for life in the Universe, He is Life, without which the world does not happen. Our failure is not societal but philosophical, our minds having been conformed to this worlds’ thinking. We were meant to be renewed, transformed, made again, bound in our minds and ventures by Faith, without which it is impossible to please God. Instead we departed, accepting the inclusion in a world that does not understand the permanent, standing on shaky loam. Where once we dug deep, placing our footing on Holy Ground, we are now tossed about by the waves of convenient thinking.

We may not go back but as the Cherub always forward. Shall we rekindle the fires of Spirit that captured, hearts, minds and men in entirety? Will we invest in the everlasting as we understandably commit our selves, our families and our nation to the pursuit of God’s permanence? What have we won that is worthy of discussion, praise of remembered accolade? Going forward, at our origins we fail to acknowledge all that made this nation special, exceptional and priceless are of our kinship to our Maker then our critics are correct. For all that made US great came from God as do all things. If my behavior, works and thoughts never could provide entry in heaven, how then does the way we live impact eternity? In our obedience we demonstrate our love and respect for God. That after all remains in perpetuity, the greatest thing WE, this nation of God’s People will ever do.

Is there diamond in this ruff or marked hesitation to subject myself to pressure? Befriending opportunity and potential or leaving lazily with those that pursue drunken embrace of sleepy slumber on the calm expanse of yonder mountain?

What postulates resolved on rising from closed eyes and dream of easy days and nights so uneventful. Is escape found or simply rented each morning to hide from the self effacing predicament that comes with edification?

What is to become when subjected to the least resistance path of my choosing? Avoid the swelter, frozen weeping or joy of chrysalis breaking. Taking with me the protective cloak of exit signs and commitments unmet.

Do I know or want to make relations with perfection? Or is my resolve always the low handed embrace of tactics and treasure that know not of character and rely upon coincidence? For what outcome?

The crucible calls the man seeking transformation. The urge to find something new must break the cowardice and low will pursuits of the drunken man of immature folly. A new dance awaits those who want tomorrow.

The gauntlet, please take it with you. Fellowship is not an exchange of ego-gratification. One upping, dominating verbally or otherwise and public shaming to elevate oneself is low value manhood. I shall not speak with you again, unless of course you adopt some manners and remember that God hates when men sow discord in the Body.

Granted, I will never measure to your stature or reasonably mimic your style, grace, magnanimity or intellect so I shall not make attempt. I am a boring, lowly educated, backwoods, plantation boot boy, happy and resolved to the station of cleaning up after your glorious efforts at saving the world. I am content in my contentment.

Please allow me to assist in your quest, ambition and aspiration by simply stepping out the way giving you ample room to plan your and execute dismount. I am not here to do anything but follow this skinny path, help others while loving God and all He made in His image. Anything that I feel must be said is better saved for discussion with myself or those of lower station.

Your ears are far too important to soil with my lowly speech or to hear the echoes of a man accustomed to shallow reason. To the deep set sail for valor and namesake. Men of my ilk find no fame, no shame or glory in having made a name for ourselves. May God alone use me to bring honor to His works and wonder as I want none for myself.

In a weeping or faithful moment. What made you certain?

So assured of my own best made plans and lines written to win over judges.

When have we ever really been guaranteed of anything. Nothing and no one is one hundred percent on board with your thinking, mannerisms and suggestions.

Life by nature has an undercurrent of chance and opportunity. It is never simply what you thought or dreamed but the fire you made, the food you prepared and the people with whom you shared it.

We want to keep everything the same, follow the script and are darn sure that the plan is going to get us over the tide of the harmfulness, danger and callous viscosity of the world.

So afraid to dream that our neighbor may find us funny. So quick to fill the mold of unfulfilling projection. So wonderfully intent on finding someone to love us when we never loved ourselves.

Why resist the tide? Why stand strong, ankle deep in the muck and obstructive similitude of temporary existence? Why not find hope in the dream of everlasting? Is acceptance of the real the truest and deepest possible outcome?

I am not the fool that I always thought I’d become. I refused the dinner coat that was embroidered for my misery. This thing called miracle is beyond me and I love that. Waking up to the embodiment of those things within my own head is often greatest nightmare.

If I told you I knew that was a lie just as this heart of circumcision. I cannot give enough fast enough to be sure enough that I surrendered at the outset. Walking in the acquainting hope that God was the only one who ever really knew my real name.

I don’t want to play a game of charades. I don’t want to be the wretch the world accepted so readily. Truth may hurt but the wounds don’t fester and smell after we’ve met and acclimated to being in the moment. Being just who we are where we are and comfortable with all of it.

I stand emotionless with a curly smile braving the face of man who has given up his fear. Not because of some new found or acquired bravery and expectation, but because the darkness was never my friend but welcomed me in its dungeon.

Please don’t think anything of me if it has nothing to do with reason and a moral understanding of appreciation for life and light. Even these short moments are worthy of living, especially when the moments we remember are sweet, difficult or rewarding.

In this life it is hard to avoid the self focus of denying ourselves love which is the greatest irony I’ve ever found. For if we cannot find love then how were we ever able of giving it?

There are terrors beyond my own fear. Waking in the moment absent God is my greatest. My dreams cannot calculate that which I never was meant to understand. Into each episode I am injected bringing my fears with me. Hopefully my fear and doubt never get elevated to position of control stealing from me what God has prepared and sent me to wait upon in Peace.

What is in this heart? Can we truly list the things in which we believe? Or is the path that is walked by each man the proof of his character. For I may say something, believing entirely when spoken only to arise in doubt, will or change to find I did otherwise. We do not set out to disobey God but often end up so doing. I live to do that which is in my mind not find out I have out-distanced my own ability to perform.

In truth I find my weakness. Not in shame or disbelief but in the focused truth of reality and admission. I am not afraid of my failures for they are successes when viewed in the complexity of time. It is my own arrogant will to disregard the possibility of my weakness that leads me into making larger mistakes than the ones I was instructed or found by accident or experience.

It is in humility that a man finds God’s support, not in the hubris of believing oneself prepared for the those experiences sent our direction. I don’t know what I am going to do until it is performed. I may practice a dive, dance or effort one million times in perfect performance then fall and fail miserably on the day of my trial. Therefore the secret in miracles is to do the preparation and then wait for God to show up in the victory of the moment.

I am not guided by fear, not by naivete and stupidity. What I will do will be known when I do it. If you believe me dark character capable of claiming that I serve God and then doing evil when given that moment, I fear for you. These are the moments that God has given me in forgiveness and rebirth. To be transformed and rise above the water birth where I embraced and sought doubling of my sins. These are the moments for which He is preparing me to shine like the diamond I’ve become, a man born of God’s Spirit reflecting the love of God within him.

Impressed. Unabashedly determined to achieve something. Rounding corners, squaring centers, determining ratios and calculating the indifference. Arcs and radians, fascinating axes upon which the spindle of the world rotates comfortably. Going along to get along. Sing the song that rhymes in rhythm with all who would have you paint a portrait suitable for hallways and parlor desks. Why not cause rebellion? Dancing to the wild sprightly minstrels of the wayward forest. It all would look unsavory when applying for administrative authority.

My curls are too straight and my thinking too obtuse. It’s all a ruse that man may find happiness in lengthy pursuit. It somehow comes upon him. What then when the carpet is too blue and the tapestry woven too tightly? Sickly, drapes a rose in shadow black and green. Things die and people aren’t necessarily all that nice. Love is not a want to paint broad strokes of magic into lives absent color, character or content. All seems to assemble itself sweetly.

Once found my way to the backwoods of Boston. Only to long for the alleys and dark wintry passages of dawn in some begotten overgrown concrete jungle. With nightmares and priestly morons casting shadows on the moon, giving hand signals to prided lions passed the slipstream of antiquity. Why is here never there? And there a slighted daydream projected on the backdrop of misery and sodden intention. Life is empirically improbable.

Coming to some foregone conclusion developed by a focused group who never got paid. Into which aspiration group am I yearning to find entry? It is implausible that they will find the unacceptable praiseworthy and ideal. That is the chicken rub. Spicy and forgotten until that moment in the French Riviera or sub-Saharan cookout when the flavors of life are suddenly or sullenly impactful. I certainly, clearly did not invent reason and following emotional never was much guide. To hide my objective intentions and master the mysterious, grace captured. All praise to those who have found the rhythm, location or answered riddle.

My chosen form of LA LA. Ignoring that which is eroding, caustic, challenging or past my threshold of blunt force survival is sieved from memory or contemplation. Aloof is not simply protective but selective in the boundaries of intellect, education and emotional maturity. If I consign myself to realities that remain absent the provocative or challenging then my personal evolution to superior thinking plateaus rob me of potential and limit outcomes.

If I were to be king of my transformation and had instructive authority over all induced stimuli effectively siphoning off any unpleasant or difficult episodes, then I will authorize a lesser state of ability consistent with this protective process. Saving myself from the pain and trials of life is no gift but rather an alternate assault upon the productive system known as the training ground of this world. It is what it is not to be mean but in that the proper grade of abrasion removes the correct level of callous or anodized covering necessary for achievement in polish.

So, seeking escape or protection from those natural or Divine opportunities to produce offspring of the pregnant situations and relationships effective stymies the true intended course of discipline and difficulty. Is that what you really want? Do you wish to escape, hide from or completely inhibit the wonderful acidity and abrasive goodness of a world designed to prepare for harder days to come?

No one enjoys pain, trial and challenging tests except for the man who faces all trials in Joy. This is a thing of Christ. Understanding that absent the judgment spectra of “Good Trials or Bad” we are simply handed a gross progression of ordered events made to build our stamina, emotional IQ and comfort. What we do with them depends entirely on how they are met, avoided or escaped. The suitable advice then becomes the Word in James and Philippians to face or count or rejoice always knowing that this series of successive events met in joy invites the participation of Divine Intervention living within the heart of them who believe.

A Business organization even when international is not the Body of Christ but a shell-head doing the opposite of what God directs of the Body. Christ alone is head of the Church and repeatedly warns against the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducee. Jesus’s letters to the churches in Revelation 2 & 3 clearly annotate His hate of those who practice as the Nicolatians performed. There is no one between any believer and God. The veil was torn. You are the Holy of Holies of God’s Spirit. A Pastor, elders or organizations elevates to position between God and Man is an anathema to Christ the SOLE leader of the Body of Christ. My gifts are for the perfection of the Saints, Working of the ministry and edification of the Body in preparation and readiness to KNOW and faithfully emulate Christ that we may not be deceived by this world or God’s enemies.

There are aged businesses with diplomatic recognition through the UN, Nations and States who exercise Fictional Dominion within the Church. These are self-proclaimed orders or businesses that influence Governments through their own apotheosis and self-deification. This is deception and may be logically dismissed and avoided by reading and obeying God’s Word. Any believer who studies the word comes to eventual and obvious obstacles that violate God’s Holy Word in any of these large organizations. Obstacles that may only be explained away by MEN inserting themselves into a position in the illusion of power that God never gave them and will destroy at His Glorious Appearing. Remember there are no denominations in heaven, No leaders other than Christ, even the 24 elders cast their crowns before Him in heaven indicating they are servants of the Body.

It is time for the faithful, Bible Believing Christians to fulfill their mandate by God that they become so educated, faithful and readied in the Knowledge of Christ that we are able to reflect Him as examples and ensamples of the Body. I am not on some dais above the sheep in God’s Flock. I am not someone with the audacity to place my name on the cover of God’s Holy Word. I am an ambassador, a Brother, a Teacher, Preacher and vessel of God’s Will for humanity. I am not a business, government or global foundation seeking its filled coffers. If I may do in poverty and provision by the Lord that which God sent me to secure than I will lived as the Head of the Body Himself Lived when He came into this world for the purpose of saving Humanity. I am not Him, I am saved by Him to do His Work, Love Him and the People He sent me to love.

We are rapidly approaching one of the two remaining issues that must be resolved before the Anti Christ may rise: The Great Apostasy of the Church and the removal of the Restraining Spirit. I believe the apostasy is the walking away the separation of true believers from the false business/corporatocracy of denominational churches that are and will become the False Faith of the FALSE Trinity of Anti Christ. They are certainly not Biblical and are clearly clever men inserted themselves between the generosity of believers and God’s Word. They manage and demand through membership agreement the tithe, when God wants cheerful givers who are never recognized for their joyful giving to God. Then entire thing is a monstrosity easily dispelled when revealed. This is the time for which we were made. Don’t you want to do it right. The word church comes from the root word meaning to STEP AWAY from the untrue ideas/statements with which your Faith/Truth clashes.

These businesses are being revealed by the sin and mammonic greed of their leaders. Men who tell the truth are ostracized, forced to step away in shame, when they should be embraced and applauded in prayer resolve by the Body. The restraining spirit lives in our hearts for the purpose of resisting the enemies of God, having been defeated on the Cross. The Power of this Spirit is the seal for eternity and the empowerment to do and say what He tells each of us to do and say. Choice is the greatest gift we are given as men loved by God. It is time to exercise that choice that is clearly/Biblically leading up to a “Removal” to allow the coming Tribulation where the Jews will find Grace as is proclaimed by Gabriel in Daniel 9. What is that position you are in and where is God calling you to step? Time to decide and do. In Jesus name. May the Spirit be your only Guide.