As the poison is drawn to the surface, I am enamored and appalled at the black veins under my skin and the lesions appearing on surface.  How deeply within my body did this inky-black sickness reside?  What would ensue if the Lord had never brought this to my attention and shown me the filth remaining within my soul?  What does this portend Father?  Why now when I believed I had come so far in sanctification?  Is this meant for its direct purpose which has made me revile at the vision of my own remaining spots, garbage and sin that I believed had been long removed?  What am I to do Father?  Does these mean there is more?  Have I forgotten to surrender all the closets, cupboards and basement rooms for your cleansing?  How late in the game do we find ourselves that I could be sidelined by my remaining wickedness?

I cough up the vile green sphere of my own wicked man?  No frogs, no demons, just iniquity that has yet to be removed by the Potter’s Hand.  But I thought that I was wearing your righteousness Lord, I thought that I was cleansed of my own blackness long ago?  You mean that I can appear Holy to everyone, even to God but still have so far to go in the refiner’s fire?  Have I been inhibiting your removal of this stuff from my soul?  How can I volunteer to you, will that make this go any faster, or must I be patient with this process and understand you are showing me the work left to be done.  I know that you are faithful and true to complete the work you once began in each of us.  It is just that I am so amazed that walking with you so long, I have truly been full of all this sin.  Oh what a wretched man I remain.  When oh Lord will I be cleansed of my unrighteousness and begin to see the clarity of life, breathe, thought, word and heart?

Does this mean that the time is short Lord?  Does this mean that you are showing me all that needs be done so that I don’t forget to remain close to you that is all may be complete before your return for the Church, judgment and reign?  I know that I am just full of questions, especially those that are sponsored by realization and trembling fear having believed myself so much further down the road to sanctification and preparation for Glory.  Forgive me for wrong thinking.  Let me stand in the refiner’s fire and let you take from me this dross so that I too am prepared for heaven.  Forgive me for thinking anything otherwise, remind me daily of the length of road remaining before me.  Forgive me for thinking or passing any opinion or judgment upon someone else’s walk, especially when my own is obviously still so immature.  Let me be ready when that trumpet sounds with oil in my lamp, love in my heart and my eyes locked upon your person.  Give me awareness, diligence and strength and turn my trembling to mercy for the next guy or gal, so that I might be a blessing and not meant for injury.  Give me a special dispensation of grace and love for you that I might know exactly how to best love them.  I ask this all in Your Name Lord Jesus, that Holy Name, the Righteousness Name of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.