I so wanted to trust people maintaining my faith in the principles of loyalty, faithfulness and honesty. However, having been shown repeatedly that each time a nice guy gives in or appears to be weak the nastiness ensued. The problems would have been resolved if People would let me lead as I was designed by God, but alas they cannot follow so what is the point of repetitive discussion. We can tolerate a lot as men of God but at some point the contempt, the argument the shoving match will blow up, as men we understand that process, as we invented it. Some men are less tolerant of bullying than men of God but even we get mad and form a whip of three cords while turning over tables.

I only have one power as a Man and Pastor that is depart from situations that are going to bring me harm or that wish to contort the will of God for this ministry. I will not tolerate contempt. If you hate Jesus or hate me then I am free to walk away from you, especially when there are so many episodic events that threaten them. I only need God, but it is a true blessing to have the Love of Kindred Christians. Fortunately for all of us they are to be found for the seeking. I don’t need to fight with someone, in fact that is the opposite of what a Christian man is supposed to do. I deserve Peace as well and don’t understand why people would seek my help until they believe they have gotten what they want and then repeatedly hurt me instead of going and doing what they really want to do. NO ONE is stopping you.

I may have love and dashed wishes regarding a person or group, the division does not end the love but admits that it is not working for me and you are better off seeking someone else to work it out with. Recently people have been bringing up their Pastor’s with me, either trying to solicit some manner of criticism or envy with me. This will not be tolerated. Your Pastor, I would assume is anointed by Christ Jesus to lead that ministry. I will not contend with Christ and argue that anointing. I am not the head of the Church, please don’t ask me to be for I will walk away and seek counsel elsewhere. The Church you have chosen is the Body of Christ and I love and respect them and pray that you are filled to overflowing in that Ministry.

As my only power is to step away and be Pastor to whom the Holy Spirit directs on both our regards then my Policy is now declared. Only those led by the Holy Spirit to call me Pastor and receive that ministerial care. If you have a Pastor, go to him for council. If you need Prayer amen and amen this body will pray for you and your Pastor in his anointing. However, outside of this declaration I will not be playing the other Pastor for anyone as both of us and your Pastor are disrespected and potentially hurt in the Process, not to mention how it quenches the Holy Spirit. Please show respect, especially when you want something from someone who has the right not to meet that need. I don’t have to listen, fight, be harassed or cave to your disrespect. I will and have tolerated it to the point where now I have made the decision to step away for all concerned. If you cannot respect that I am sorry. However, I don’t see where having the same discussion over and over serves God in any way.

There are always room for miracles but it is God that does miracles not me. No more following the path and allowing you to lead. That is not your job and I do not have to stand for it. If you don’t like the rules of this body, then there are other bodies to join. If you have contempt for this Pastor, there are many others who I am certain will tolerate your disrespect. I am not angry just committed to this season of the harvest and will not cannot have those who are clouds without rain or worse yet Christians who want to manipulate and argue their way into authority. NO MORE. Either fit in or go your way. I cannot make it any clearer. Only loving me when I have stepped away is a wound that needs to be attended.

Facts and wants must be balanced and measured. The impossible happens when it does as we find ourselves in right; time and place prepared to see God’s intervention. So too with love. We may love with everything we have and yet the other party does not share the same resolve. That is why love is such an unselfish gift when practiced perfectly, for it does seek but gives, hopeful of return, but unexpectant.

Some comfortable environs must be surrendered for the sake of those who love demands need something outside of our provision. True family may not include both parties and when that is seen one must be released to pursue the greatest thing, the right circumstance and situation for them. That is a hard gift. A mature pursuit that never comes easy and always leaves a fair bit of bile and sadness at its acceptance.

Most will trundle through hoping upon hope that the situations will transform, that somehow things become right at some distant, anticipated crossing. But the impossible must be seen especially when it requires individual journey and departure to reach the point of conflagration. Each of us must choose to live that which is acceptable or perhaps give freedom to be available for God’s call where the impossible is achieved and history created.

But it is never good to be alone for extended periods, certainly knowing that God is close bye but even He said it is not good for man to be alone so it must be true. We all know the truth of singular pathways. Yes, there is a certain potency, clarity and personal power in taking the road entirely responsible for all impacts, choices and the music, food and fashion. However, none were made to be entirely alone as strangeness persists.

To be said most consider a direct connection as primary provision of love. Simply speaking with someone, making never giving more than that a simple suggestion, ear or extended interaction is the one thing they most didn’t know they needed. To that end God has a family for everyone, it may look odd to most but within it we all are meant to find that parallelism and pursuit that allows us to compromise, learn, grow and find mutual assistance.

The most difficult times may be upon us as we are called to complete refitting. It is never easy in fact for those who have spent so many thousands of days alone, being commanded to another stint of self regard is the last thing we wanted or expected. Nevertheless as Job so clearly demonstrated God commands what He commands for His reasons and sometimes those reasons have to do with His Good Glory.

Is that enough, certainly, the only argument I have with most is that not everything has to feel good in order to be right, just and Divinely prudent. The highest percentage of my experiences, especially those directed by God included some large measure of difficult, uncomfortable or training requiring endurance and self denial. Facing it with Joy, yes, but let us be honest in all things, we all want to have those we may depend upon.

One would think that I have some spirited word of encouragement to offer that will be salve for the soul and inspire men to reach heights heretofore unattainable. There have been periods in my life where I believed that was within my skill level and perhaps my responsibility, However, the convictions of Spirit have led me to an entirely differing perspective. Only through my humility and surrender of my shameful hubris have I and will I ever become an encouragement to self and those who might perhaps see these steps.

These are the times approaching our last opportunities to do something different than the entire history of mankind. Why then would I take confidence in repeating the same pathways trodden by men of failure? For what reason would I ever expect that insanity of repeating the same experiment again would somehow produce a character-filled result? No that is why we have a thing called the fourth quarter, because with it comes a hope and the urgency of achieving something yet mastered.

I am not here to see my ego polished to blinding reflection. I could truly care less, as I want to be in God’s presence eternally. Knowing that the first wisdom to that end is humility then it is essential that I master the ability to put aside my self-worship prior to attempted access to His Throne of Grace. No there is nothing that I relish from having conquered other men or women through my superior anything. I count it loss as this strips me of access to the ears of my Father in Heaven.

Why then are we stuck on the mobius strip cycling toward the same results repeated for thousands of years? There is no victory in repetition, especially in pathways of failure. This temporary life is so important yet to me has begun to dull and fade from my heart’s desire. The importance in our realization that we are so loved and important to God that He came to Earth to recover us to His Presence. The cold hard truth that our will may be the very thing that prohibits that success.

Look I don’t deserve love but I sure do like giving and receiving it. That love is never a thing of conquest or Dominion but seeing other’s happy and receiving the heart warming feeling that they actually enjoy and choose to be with me. The affairs of the heart are no game as these are the things most important to Almighty. Matter, time, wealth and station pale in comparison to the moment someone we love finds challenges of health. It is through the challenges that I am defined. That is why I seek them and pray that when they start I am found in humility, gratefulness and the Spirit of Faith that reduces all things to exactly what they are. I pray that begins in me. In Jesus Name.

Somber contemplation of America’s dilemma. Self-inflicted as my own separation from God’s Embrace. Curious this pursuit of alternate reality, treasure and the narrow passage between the rough spots. What grows in the sullen waste of abundant understanding?

Knock from me the protrusions and protections from the sea’s rough. So tough my belief in self, immediately reduced to infant when tested by ravage or shortage. Growth in the darkness of unprofitable thought, how useful mold and fungus in the noonday barrage?

Oh, the sweet spot of sand’s buffeting. Silicate and crab picking at those things which emulsify into sour-beans. What remains the building blocks of future planting. Calm washed surface ready for the tensions and awakening of soil, catalyst and the hope of each morning.

Toes dug deeply into the wet gritty beach, leaning back to watch the wandering clouds. Roll, billow and promise home of rain drops plenty. What provision promised in the depth of moor and Earth? Stepping back my presence is washed away from slate and fate’s single focus.

What death takes a man constantly on the mind and at the feet of God? Justice found in slumber before waking to peer into the burning braziers of eternal flames the origin of all things. So clean this return to perfection all embers dust all thoughts quenched, so clean.

Linens light touch upon shoulder, hip, hanging loosely against the background of a trillion stars. Fleeting reliance upon those things which cannot produce food reducing shortage. So eager the thoughts of vain glory believing each time will be different than all of the rest.

Finding fillers to replace the emptiness of truth. Not reduced but made whole in this provision of wisdom against the frailties of foolish youth. Protected from the winds that once whipped long haired dreams of plenty and mountain patches of fruits grown heart-wild.

To return or shown new paths that lay dormant to a man who sees himself center. The Glory of fires on the hill before my sight. Sandals the thing of comfort not necessary in fact wholly repugnant to material beyond the seed of mortality, what crops grow viral in Heaven’s Hall?

Think it unworthy of compromise or pensive patience? Perspective the warmth in arena where I feign dominion. Surrender my home, knowing the joy and release of any self-delusion. To grow where I am planted, watching eternal the fruits born of union.

Had we chosen wisely the benefits of discernment and blessings would be blossoming prevalent. Had we listened to wisdom our actions and comfort would reflect that promise. Had we asked of God to be changed and adapted in alignment to His Will then these shoes would not continuously cause callus.

Had we met in love we would not be rebuking each other soundly over quirks, aspects and intentions. Had we the promise of God’s union we would nurture the gap reducing the cuts wounds and propensity to disagreement and madness. Had we chosen other than our own direction we would have found our way.

Had we done so many things in good council of peaceful understanding then the calm of a realm unavailable in war would have met our hearts in tandem. Had we chosen something beyond our own fulfillment then those around us would have lent their courage, resolve and gravity to the mix of unique idea.

Had we decided to foster peace no matter its detractors then our hearts would have been parallel to and gainfully sought consistent compliance with the Words of Life. Had we any sense then the chaos prone mess we have created would never have taken hold or found support in our committed peace.

Should we step away from the edge attempting to shove each other over or daring each to jump? Should we calculate the energy we will waste in contest and instead offer hand and words of help? Should we seek promise instead of pride putting aside the cravings and wants of person to find a Gathering?

Should we look upon our own lack of reason, initiative and wisdom as the catalyst to failures we now detest? Should we surrender at all cost and reason to find that which lies beyond self consuming reign? Should we embrace our frailty, committing it to sideline as greater power take the field of battle?

Should we understand the patterns of history and remove ourselves from the mans manuscript eschewing the parts and speeches so wanton? Should we find paths that lay before that we have denied lead to blessings? Should we forget ourselves and the days of our dilemma instead wanting rest?

The mercy of so Holy Grace, such grand relief upon my face. No need for greed or to belong, soft lyrics to this Heavenly song. No tears or shadows, absent hope, no honing skills or changing scope.

We are just holy kids within His care, watching God with laser stare. Finding peace in restful heart, no need to finish, simply start. For passion’s reason and torches flame, forgotten wisdom is not the same.

No treasure trove just streets of gold never dying or getting old. To walk alone on balanced heels, filling pockets and providing meals. Relief be found in surrendered crown letting go the world’s renown.

This ride will stop and we’ll be there on bended knee of grand repair. Infrequent guest by Holy Ghost with no prideful works on which we boast. Having slept to find release we get to go and find that Peace.

At His foot we all are found commended once and then we’re crowned. To drop them at Righteous feet His Praise and Glory we’ll repeat. To the heaven’s so soon return greatest day for which we yearn.

To earn my life just surrender outside of space, and mortal tender. This gift so precious No greater life spent alone or with proper wife. End in good courage we will stand to achieve in Grace what God has planned.

Do we feel the tug at our hearts? Are we being forced to define our stance, making it impossible to reside on the fence of complicity and comfort? Can we maintain the position of simply watching as the world begins to cascade into whirlpool? What is belief if not followed by defining character and action?

Look not everyone needs to do anything or take a stance for righteousness, but isn’t doing so acknowledging the choice between those who believe unto action and those who never believed at all? I don’t want to be known as one who stood by and could have taken action but was risk adverse as I found action inconsistent with my personal planning.

To Love isn’t simply a statement it requires the commensurate actions of Love that truly define its existence. I can tell someone I love them to get what I need from the relationship and then watch them wither away in poor health, hunger or depression effectively negating that love or defining its nonexistence.

Is there a measurement of requisite action necessary to prove Love? Well I don’t know but Jesus’ Does and will lead us into that perfect understanding through relationship with His Holy Spirit and Belief upon the Word and Promise. Perhaps asking someone what they need in Love and then adjusting that through Prayer and realistic provision is a good start.

I don’t want to simply have roommates. I want family. Why, because family surpasses that requirement for love of which we’ve spoken. Family is not an accident it is a commitment to join in tandem against the amazing trials each of us will face. Family uses the equipment of love to rise above many of these examinations and prevails together where many go it alone.

I cannot chose your choices, they are yours alone to make and either rejoice in the positive outcomes or rejoice in the impacts of inaction, wrong action or folly. What I can offer is to love you throughout either. That is love to face whatever comes together in one commitment to make it to the other side of each storm and blessing.

I want to be fair with others and myself. The questions I ask myself are not only to encourage and find joy in this journey, but to identify those areas of concern for prayerful change.

Therefore, what may be used in judgment claiming that this process elevates me in superiority to those who do not follow its path must be surrendered to God in humility, gratitude and prayer or it too may become idolatry.

Do not follow me unless I follow Christ Jesus. Do not believe that following, liars, idolaters, whoremongers, thieves and homosexuals is following God. For it is in direct conflict with God’s Word on those who not receive the Kingdom of God.

We are in a time when men have created a State Religion in 325AD, go read history. The Pontifex Maximus, the High Priest of all Pagan Faiths in Rome, ordered that the Christian faith become the STATE RELIGION. And, furthermore that to establish the superiority of that faith he moved the Empire of Rome to Constantinople four short years later.

Now that move, that structure demands that we place men above God in their control of our Faith. Just the other day, the Leader in the Empire of Britain in the ROMAN city of Londinium proclaimed by mandate that the faith of the Anglican Church would return to Mother Rome. These are men making decisions for those who Follow God alone through Christ Alone.

They claim reformation is over and now begin the steady march of returning their human control over something they were never given authority over, the Body of Christ. There is no other head of the Church but Christ Jesus, not me, not any other man who be great or petty tyrant in control of that which only the King of Kings and Lord of Lords commands.

Now they dispel and deny entry into the Church of those who are deemed political opponents. This is idolatry and worship of men over the Sovereignty and Grace of God. We don’t get to decide about Grace. It is offered by the call of God upon our hearts and answered by our humble acceptance of the gift of God and the seal of the Holy Spirit.

As Pastor this demands mature understanding and application of God’s direction by the Holy Spirit of Promise the only thing that makes any man or woman born again into the Kingdom of God. Demanding Water baptism is a misunderstanding of the Baptism that is required the Baptism of Fire that John the Baptist promised via Jesus’ arrival.

I cannot simply look away as the worldly enter the Church for the Book of Jude promises the outcome is being infiltrated by those who are condemned to separation. However, I will know them by their fruits. For the purpose of worldly bounty and blessings we have forgotten the discernment of the Holy Spirit and God’s increase by placing men who are adept at manipulating mammon up on the dais equal to Christ Jesus.

Back to the subject at outset, the perhaps unwelcome but necessary internal review incumbent to a man who neither wishes to be too hard on himself but must take internal examination to offer the necessary changes up in prayer before God’s Throne.

Peter says that Judgment begins at the Church. I believe we have arrived at this timing in man’s role of God’s Planning. We are seeing revival, however real, we must exceed and acknowledge that has only occurred because the robust delivery of sufficient pain that mankind is currently experiencing, without which we would go on our merry way.

Although, I do not wish to assume my unrighteous need for transformation that is what the Bible tells me in the truth about my own intentions and desires of my wicked heart. How else would we arrive at an understanding of the requisite “denial of self” required to pick up my cross daily and follow Christ.

So I do not wish to escape the truths about me, especially those that are non complimentary. I want to be honest both in criticism and encouragement. I am not the weak man that many seek to play out the role of wounds that were forced upon them in their youth. Neither have I desire of tyrants to dominate everyone around me but to do my part to live in peace and harmony with those around me.

This must be challenged when shepherding God’s Church. There are no men in charge of the Church. There is no right to demand those things Christ does not demand of humans to receive His Gift of Grace. For whatever reason, litigious, personal, deceptive or however well intended they are violations of my primary objective to follow Christ in Love.

Why were we shown the qualifications of the two thieves dying next to Jesus if this were not the case? There were no baptisms but that which God created in: death, burial, resurrection and ascension of Christ Jesus through the power of His Holy Spirit. Man’s intention on making faith a complex philosophy are impediments to peace, power and promise found in relationship with Christ.

To that end you are free to pursue Him with all gusto or not pursue Him. However, if you come into the paddock for which I have accepted God’s anointing them expect to meet a shepherd of watchful inquiry. I love you but accept God’s challenge that the Church is a comfortable and broad mustard tree in which the demons and agents would love to nest. You will find no such comfort here, Just as my own sin must be denied that comfort. For I am not in charge of God’s Body I am simply steward accountable to God for that privilege.

Something pure, something kind that reminds us of peaceful summer days where we are invited because everybody loves us. Compassionate to a fault, remember each time we offer suggestion how it felt to be criticized by those who claimed adoration. The implausible relief of finding it is okay to let down our guard in safety or security that shouldn’t by experience exist. But we have seen a way that is better than subjecting everyone to the pressure our thumbs upon them. Truly respecting and appreciating what God has given them to employ in world increase or bring to the table for discussion in good measure.

Is it okay for a gentle man to exist without the consistent need to defend himself with aggression or sustain the pressures of those seeking control of everything that they see? Never okay to be what you are when it means that you reveal a heart with compassion for all things including a protection of the weak or those easily manipulated. Must you rip the appellate from each uniform you encounter or teach everyone with challenge that they are better off simply standing clear? Why do they teach you to be cruel from young age, because it is a necessary function for survival in a world of contorted thinking. That everything vulnerable must be enslaved or each bit of beauty marred by the violent ravage.

Is it okay to love so deeply that it reminds you of this abundant life in the swells of your deep affection for mankind or beast? Certainly not, unless your self defense skills are sharp. Never thinking of reaction or hurting something driven by internal pain done us in the darkest moments of our past. For what taint is placed within many that we must pass on the slavery of emotion given us by errant behavior or poisoned thinking. No cruelty ought not have permission or passage without reason. There is no cause to hate my Brother when none is given and to do it because it was first offered me is a call for help. Experiential pollution is a sad excuse for abundant living.

No need to be Paladin, yet some grand cause to either remain separate, unknown or publicly declared defender to the righteous. Was Jesus an effeminate man? Was he pursued and picked on by those perceiving some internal weakness or lesser variant? Did His rage waken the self preservation of those around Him who fled that sheer will and passion of righteousness? I have never belonged, yet Jesus sent me to do something beyond myself or the constraints of popular thinking. I am no hero or champion, only a man with love his greatest weapon or tool if you prefer a less threatening description. But no one can stop you from loving them. It is the only aspiration for which their is no self defense nor should there be. The kindness in my heart is not of this world but of God’s giving. I love not out of spite or to gain some return reward, I just Love them because God is their origin, their true present, Past and Future. That is what I love most about them, creatures and men.

Whatever you would ask of me I would have done already had I known there was outstanding need for love, counsel or care. These are not the times of plenty and abundance without reason. No matter the two loaves and five fishes God will magnify to many.

We live in times that will draw men together ever as the world is being torn asunder by the lust and bitter hearts absent God’s Peace. My heart goes out to them, I so wish it weren’t so but this is the time of choosing.

Certainly I have myself to blame for ignoring the promptings of God’s Whisper in my ears. Certainly I was made then made again to resemble Him and cannot take one moment for granted. Certainly these are most important days.

What then is my self-direction if I am incapable or unwilling to listen to the things you would show me? There are not many voices but one. It is in the Spirit’s power that I stand upon the field of battle not of self. Why then would I presume a antiquated reliance?

Call is calling and we must be ready to answer, ignore or regret. There will be no other time like this, a time for all to find their realization in purpose. After all the plan not being my own has a part for me that was not written by me but by Someone Beyond my current understanding.

I do not know everything but I know that when the time arrives I will be equipped with all that I ever needed. That being said I do not feel inadequate or scarce but at peace with the tools I will be given at appropriate time and place to bring honor, praise and Glory to Him.

How then must I relate to the world around me? No longer a tough answer nor a question that I avoid. I know my identity, I know my role and I know what God expects of me, even if I remain ignorant of the Works that will be placed in my path to resolve.

No comes the easy part for it is time for enduring character, not my own but His granted me by grace that I too may shine like the Son. No mystery, no confusion, only clear skies and swelling seas beckoning forward to the high calling of God.

Where to then now? Perhaps standing still in the patient understanding that I am grown more in the waiting then in the application or my worry and wares. I am called when the trumpets and the voice heard.

Yes, there is work to be done and perhaps marches, or places far to bring under the Footstool of Christ Jesus. For now I will smell the fragrances of life and enjoy what lies ahead. In Jesus’