Thought about screaming, but peace had the better half of me. Into darkness I scrambled. Anticipation unnecessary, as the mystery would play exactly as it was meant. A lark promised relief from quandary as worry and regret promised their inadequate controls would set me free from price of passion and pursuit. These are not the days of things lightly ventured, but days of dedication, accountability and victorious remorse as opportunity surprises and dwindles before me.

I pondered a teammate, someone with smiles, discernment and measured resolve latent with longevity. What breath does God give me to fill the lungs and light of life? Knowing without doubt that the ends are already figured. Calculated in the grand imagination of Sovereignty, a focus beyond parameter of my thinking. What then she squeezed as if bag pipe too swollen of throat clutched in the fears of Time and machine. The examples are surely set will I fail to seek answer when direction fully catered?

Step away from madness. Look to reason and wisdom as guides through folly and spite. The nights are never so long that the dawn’s promise cannot adequately resolve the prisons of calculus and reform. We squirm as any of this be surprise or miscalculation. Choice is not determined until made but the annals still know which choice will be made as if already chosen. Lay waste to the promulgated nightmare and faithless capitulation to dreams of desperate spirit. For pride is not our powder in battle but the hardened granite of purpose and perpetuity. Framed in Heaven’s understanding our hearts bask in painted deserts, pink moons and sun drenched harbor.

If but the swim, fly or dance we must find the shamelessness of folly. Take to the street not in embarrassment and pulse, but for hymn, and majesty and reason. Things carried by the propelling swells of faith. Resistant to the frail doubts of encumbered thinking. We praise the perfect name in certainty and hope. Apprehensive abundance of victory’s already acheived and promises sacrosanct and fixed.

Every movie laughed at me, failing to understand forever. Misunderstanding the simplicity of gravity, always looking for deeper meaning. Opportunity lost in mist of misappropriation. The Glory discovered in forethought of readiness. Knowing the heartache accompanying grasp in the truth of man’s power in mortality.

She stepped away from a man clearly unprepared. At some point destined to find himself in the productive wiles of temptation and trial. The outcome of this painful realization that rejoicing in growth came with the payment of the best things that life showed in handfuls. Wishing it worked out differently is the regret that growth delivers.

The circus Solaris in the temple of man’s self worship is the altar of our fears and tears. Man seeking dominance while losing partnership and cooperation. A sad testimony of irony and grace. What may be gained is found in what has been regrettably surrendered. A partnership in the sharpening and honing of what could be a man’s formal polish.

Stepped away from the device thinking that the burns could not happen. Only to awaken to stark sight of fears and trials following. No man may find that island that removes him from himself. In self help he wondered, picking at the scabs and scars thinking himself quite fancy. Yet the dawn of her mournful eye haunting to tear’s edge.\

Looking forward offers the difficulty we most fear in slumber. The dream to which unapplied reason and works is bereft of outcomes most pleasant. For the gifts of God are offered all but most are seldom readied, to capture and apply the salve and bathing grace of everlasting life. In the now we are found head’s tucked low from approaching or shadowing cloud. To see all that could be truth if my heart, mind and hand found ready.

Walked away into the darkness of my failures. Nothing resolved but the will to make it right. All along to have relied upon assumption. It all made sense when the silence came to life. So I just ran on and on into the labyrinth. Where I reside safe and calm in lefts and rights. There is no day and no frailty seeking solace. No chains of love or self-reliance to regard. Without reward the poverty stands welcome. The bitter truth that not knowing seldom brings. Reliant hope and the whispers of tomorrow. Of giants met and the tales that no one sings.

Sing on til dawn in the promises of reason. Wrapped in the love and the comfortable retreat. To dance alone is the reason for the card. So oft compelled by philosophies and pride. There is no pain as a man without his purpose. No Victory won as the Love reserved a King. Into the night I forget about those worries. Most often linked to the ebb and flows of tide. Humming along to a tune of purse and promise. In service to all the things within the gift of life. Way too late for me to wonder in life’s problem. This river long but not so deep or wide.

Into frames pass the lilies, halls and orchid. So soft and sweet the lyric and the rhyme. In conscience comes the courage of contentment. To be recalled oh so fondly in time’s passing. Massage effect upon treatments of dimension. The Strings resound in the risks of heaven’s envy. A wind made bright in the dawn’s control of night. Kissed amber cheek as a child approaches innocence. Into the day running filled with such exuberance. A knuckle pinched til the pain produces grimace. Precursor to the joys upon her face.

What then my hope if foolishness regards me. So fondly still I move in wounded plight. To sally on filled in passion and such fury. Resounding hearts so swept up in the strife. To be addressed in validating moments. And held beyond the contempt of outright dismissal. Just garden’s gleam in the ruby and the auburn. Nursing the tear brought to a poet’s heart. She sat in perpetuity no motion, word or song. The breath so deep the night so very long. For my behalf I spoke politely of her abandon. Up til the day had given way to dusk and dawn. So hard to yield the marshal of a warrior. And trust reward of each smile, frown or yawn.

Knowing. The heart is wicked and seeks to lead astray each man believing it controlled or captured. In desperation of my own regard I find the folly filled pursuit of doing something to retard the worry or fear that steals the heart’s attention. There are no self efforts that will stem this tide and decay. The only resolution seems beyond human capacity of standing ever so quiet in rest, admonishing the heart, head and ears to be strictly attentive for the voice of God’s direction.

Romantic love, clever retort, castles assailed or discussion fail in the midst of faith trial. My planning, effort or resolve mount to naught against the storms that quench my heart. All at once I long for the fulfillment of those imaginary longings of self actualization all the while being whispered to by Spirit, Be Still and Know that I am God. When action taken seems the proper pursuit I require elevation beyond my own capacities. Lest I interfere with God’s intention I must beg Him to give me that will to stand my ground in silence and repose.

There are no answers but to remain in rest, fully dependent upon God’s next move in my reformation. Running faster, seeking exit or some manner of deliverance beyond the Will of God deprives me of the Fruit surpassing my temporary journey’s. Seeking tasks, roads and power beyond my own the desire to answer the urgings of this moment must be relegated to those things held at arm’s distance from chest and ear. Trust is only demonstrated in the faithful, supernatural ability to wait upon God’s Answer, regardless the appetizing list of potential human provided solution.

This is excruciatingly freeing from the repetitive machinations of me. To do something different you must do just that. Thus the pursuit of some measure of relief from burden, trial or test is perpetual misunderstanding. Time will march, regardless of my action. There is only one beyond its effect. My quest is to remain at rest for as long as that is required that I may see the miracles and mysteries God has in store for my present and future. After all, having eschewed the objectives and self outcomes for whatever God shall bring demands that I muster the talent of remaining in neutral as He paves the way to victory, challenge or reward.

Hands and ego seek retribution and revenge. Immortality born of written record that will decay in time’s unfolding reflection. What then of truth, wisdom mastery of that beyond our mortal comprehension. Have I not chosen the eternal, relegating my conquest of time and 3 fold dimension to the strings beyond theory. Embracing those things beyond self. What and why then would I venture in repose or retreat to the declared inadequacies of my own frailty?

To defeat that which assails I may not employ the tool kit that invariably repeats the same lesson in perpetuity. These are no enemies that may be dispatched by hand, hammer or saw, but by Spirit. Enjoining them with the temporary solutions of fist or gun simply brings them back in larger numbers until such time the believer is overwhelmed or overcome enough such that they surrender hand and heart to Sovereign.

Not beguiled, not confused, not enraged by their rhetoric, force or deception. This is their chess board upon which I am simply visitor for such a time as God sees fit to prepare me for hereafter. Why then act as participant or diminish my service to the King by emotional or physical inclusion? No the things of this past man are the rub that makes me ponder. No longer young by time or spirit I am now forced to walk the prayerful footsteps of understanding. Looking to futures they cannot even see nonetheless contemplate or accept. To be turned away into reprobate thinking is to become slave to imagination.

Be set free as you the gift that you have accepted. Open it, look upon Salvation and know the redemptive relief and adoration it represents. It is time to be protected, provisioned and promised in The Living Will of God’s Understanding rather than simply captured forever in the unresolved dilemma of this dimensions simplicity. Without God I am without God and all that being privileged in His Presence Brings. I will embrace the Peace that surpasses the comprehension of 3 or 4 dimensions. Knowing that participating in their wars requires wearing the mask I’d worn in temporal life before this.

Can Glory be cupped in palm or dispensed from empty cup? What does God’s Presence resemble in a walk declared in following His Light? What gun or sword held in hand welcomes captured, failed or hypnotic? How may a man grasp the waiting Hand of God in Furnace Fire when armed with worldly weapon? No we have mistaken the warrior, Knight and soldier for the True Power in the Universe, the indwelling of Sovereign Grace and Love.

How are God’s rogue enemies defeated? Is it by the hand of disobedient King or Lowly servant? What powers have we as mortal against the reckless abandon of those Fallen From Him? To say None, immediately demands in question, how then shall we fight or indeed if were ever meant to pursue our own understanding in Resistance. For the only power we shall ever mount against these Dominions and Authorities will be that of His Holy Spirit existing, Living, Directing our Hearts, Minds and Spirit.

To launch campaigns against Dominion is to be enslaved in misdirection, misunderstanding and Deception, the Wiles and source of enemy stronghold. This is not a battle to which men employ human thinking, power or the anguish and ardor of warring and battle. This is enlightened Strength not of self-actualization or channeling, but subjugation to God’s Mighty Hand Upon Each of US. We are cups of His Will, Grace and simply witness to His Wrath. Standing as representatives of His Judgment in WORD of Declaration and Permanence. It is not the I that stands in resistance to powers beyond my definition and contention. But HE who has already stripped them of rank and authority, awaiting His arrival and subsequent Reign until the Day of Judgment.

We are the Few who have given way of Self, replaced by guidance, love, teaching, counsel and Faith of Something Beyond Self or Fallen Wisdom and arrogance. Am I King, No I AM servant, having set aside my own pursuit, ambition and desire for power, glory and honor. Only to receive all these things in more through service to the King who holds the Keys to them ALL. He IS and because of that knowledge, Hope and Peace I AM resisting all beyond my station through the simple acknowledgement and Humility of aligning myself With HIM.

So I go with empty Hand that my left may Hold the Hand of Christ through ever fire I encounter and My Left to offer those who have stumbled, fallen or forgotten. For this war has been won upon a tree at Calvary. Not for me to fight to stand in recognition of His Victory. At peace with my destination in apprehensive Hope and Understanding of my Place at the Foot of Glory’s Throne. I cannot be defeated for my hands are empty to employ the tools which God has lent me to plow, sow, water and reap all that He would grow. This is no battle but a preparation for harvest. The Joyous Time of God’s Provision through which my hands will be filled with Bounty and Love to share with those who have not or bring to Worship in Praise for His Promised Provision.

Torn and tattered Red
Dirtied White and Blue
In the Storm of War
She proved Our
God’s Faithful and so True

Stripes of brilliant Red
All the Blood which young Men Shed
So Precious and so True
Honoring
The Courageous Lives they led

Brilliant field of Stars
Crimson and Ivory Bars
Standing for the Right
That she will make
it through another Night

But Don’t Stop Believing
This isn’t our first Romance
Some are set to grieving
And Some rejoice in Dance

But Don’t stop believing
Just lend her a helping hand
This flag she tells the Story
Of How God so loved this Land

For she still Flies So High in Glory
And those Whom He adores
We remember all His Blessings
Wishing peace to you
And Yours

But When Wars they come Upon US
So Proudly she will wave
To fill our hearts with Courage
Recalling men who were so brave

So don’t stop believing
Just Give her another Chance
For the Live’s for which she’s flying
Depend upon Your Stance

No Don’t stop Believing
Though Torn in disrepair
She’ll shine so bright
throughout Each Night
Giving Hope to all Truly Care

It’s not just a flag we honor
But what this land and We become
Telling all that we have fought for
And the Kingdom yet to Come.

Words and Music by James M. Cox

Remember that moment when you realized you were in real trouble.? Alcoholism, sexual misconduct, larceny, addiction were your best qualities and you had lost all will to keep telling yourself the lies that for so long kept you going. Sitting on the Metro or the Amtrak headed to somewhere you really didn’t want to go because you once again were forced to apologize for dropping the ball or making a fool of yourself or someone who mattered in front of people who would not soon forget. Remember the promises you made and broke repeatedly whether or not they knew, you did and that painful swell in your stomach would not go away.

Remember that day you found out that you weren’t God’ ‘s gift to mankind and in fact you were rather unlikeable even by those people who were inclined to give you a break? Remember how many times you ardently stressed that you had changed and they could count on you to do the right thing, say the right thing, but even you had to admit that you didn’t even know what was right anymore. Remember that self loathing that nearly forced you to continue in these behaviors some how believing that you deserved what you were getting? Remember the few people who finally gave up on you because they were beyond frustration and over hearing the same old line, delivered a different serious tone and emotional passion for too long now? Remember where you went? Remember how that felt? Remember what you did with all that remorse and regret?

Remember when hiding became your thing? Remember when you realized that they had been right along and your were now doing them a favor that they shouldn’t have to experience the fodder for all their complaints? Remember when it all became too much for one man to carry and the alcohol, sex or drugs stopped working, even temporarily to provide a modicum of escape? Do you remember that desperation and the relief that came from just giving up? Remember when you forgot how to love or how love felt and you just started riding that train to somewhere hoping that it provided some reasonable distraction from swallowing the quarter sized pill of your own self-awareness?

When did you get off that train or did your ride it from end to end hoping in some rare exception to the definition of insanity that you would somehow arrive at a different outcome, a positive outcome where it all made some sense? When did you find the gumption to try something new, to break free from the self taught lies repeated in the dark to convince your self that somehow you would find the light? Or did you go into the abyss and become what they had told you was the limit of your character and capability? Turning to the hopeless reality of your addiction to suffering, allowing yourself to love the tug of the vortex swirling to take you to nothingness, did you acquiesce to nightmare?

What happy ending? What transformative histology? What sane discovery lit the way to above ground traffic where life became breath and breath became belief or even pretense of caring about something, anything? What smile coaxed you from the shadow of portcullis onto garden path replete with Roses, and Children and Hope? What was that moment? What was the catalyst of your repair, the reason for your salvation, the answer to desperate quest? Was it found on the train halfway between now and then, half a mile from the road to some quaint village where no one cared about Venus or Mars, or had time for the stars?

Who have you become? Do you travel a different road to freedom and respect where your dreams are actually something to inspire children and the down trodden? Are you prancing and beating the drum of their castigation? Have you found the price of Love? I thought I saw you pass bye as the train came into station. The dour and sour grimace which has puzzled for so long evoking my compassion was touched by the light of peace. A notable peace not something found in local pub or community call to action, something beyond the pains of your own reflection in the Subway doors as your face slowly ebbed away. These questions are the price of interaction for we cannot know without the asking. So next time we meet don’t hide away so quickly for the pain even in its revelation seeks to heal not squander. For if the wound never sees the light of day or feels the healing passage of breeze and time upon it, it is doomed to simply fester in the darkness of our own ill gotten despair.

No decision of elemental consequence exists without a conflict of two opposing ideas. This may be demonstrated in the Choosing allegiance or departure from one commanding concept and in so doing creating the tension of this conflict. If I choose not to follow God then the elemental requirement has been met for in my declarative departure I am saying I am for NOT God, amounting to the null hypothesis. Establishing that whatever is NOT God I am supporting. Therefore any departure from God, no matter the pursuit in replacement validates the concept of decision consequence. Now there are infinite points of departure within NOT God and one may be in numerous subsets of that group, even in competition with each other in standing and importance, but having chosen anything but God establishes these people as against Him.

Therefore the person who makes no choice, choosing indifference has in fact chosen a position that is NOT God. With God the valued characteristic is Belief without which no man may participate in the GOD inclusive category. If you don’t believe in God then you are in the NOT God group, regardless of that which you do believe. Thus, the idea of the Garden of Eden is easily explainable. Adam and Eve chose something other than God invoking their membership in the NOT God group. Many people will miss this crucial understanding, rather arguing the concept of an APPLE, A Snake or Knowledge as the primary focal points of Eden. The CHOICE is the paramount ideal in Christianity. Choosing God or NOT God is the lever point for eternity. Therefore God chose His Son to redeem mankind and any departure from CHOOSING JESUS immediately demands or indicates membership in NOT God.

So many want the shades of Gray that exist in the NOT God group, for they desperately wanted to be the exception to the primary focus of choosing God or NOT. Therefore it is crucial to remain set apart from these attempts at argument which remain the gateway to this attempted exclusion or excuse criteria. The story deepens when we look at what happens to those in either of these two membership groups. For the NOT God group will immediately be at odds with those in the God Group. A pursuit of exclusionary criteria, denying the TRUTH that is God will forever separate these two diametrically opposed ideals. These attempts will resemble TOLERANCE as they seek to somehow escape God’s Truth in Judgement proclaiming their position a intellectually superior position that includes an expressing of the shades of gray between black and white. Unfortunately for them this House Of Cards is immediately dispelled by having made the primary decision of NOT God vs God.

That then have the pursuits of God and Not God produced throughout history that distinguishing Two Versions of this temporary existence called Mortality. One Group seeks an extension of its lifetime through its own understanding, works, efforts, Imagination or Magic while the other remains in adherence to that primary protocol which demands that any extension upon this life is fulfilled through the primary understanding of Belief as the dictate in any probability or possibility. So, any pursuit of “Secret Knowledge”, Enlightenment of elevated understanding through Theory or Scientific Research are simply attempts at TOLERANCE as previously described. Now the power of the Snake makes sense when expressed in tandem with the attempts at exclusion or Tolerance. For any NOT God group member may be thoroughly convinced, confused or deceived into a GOOD Argument for exception from primary CHOICE. Thus the use of the Word CHOICE in abortion to dampen NOT God Group members to that Primary Choice they have already made, now believing that each exclusion or diversion from Godly character defines them as somehow superseding the Sovereign Authority of the ONE and ONLY Sovereign. Having departed in initial BELIEF Criteria they now believe that any decision upon which they impose their OWN authority is now defining them as equal to or Above God as the Snake originally convinced Eve. Having listened once to the Snake, each human will find themselves vulnerable to further expression of that deceptive authority. Thus the nature of addiction applies to character, understanding and expression in humanity.

We resemble those things that we believe. So, made in Imago Dei, those who have chosen GOD in their primary understanding will begin to reflect the characteristics of the ONE GOD becoming extension of the IMMORTAL Character and AUTHORITY, while those of the NOT God group will begin to express their reflection of the infinite shades of Gray of their own understanding assuring that they have not the expression of GODLY image that is accorded solely to those expressing Primary Belief. For any goodness on a NOT God members part is an expression of their own Works and effort to be good, expressed typically in a Karmic belief of the Buddhist style of Works doctrine. Believing that expressing vibrations or Karmic performance that they will somehow align themselves with similar Universal waves, chemistry or Good Fortune of attraction, luck or predetermination. These people are caught in the impossibility of worldly evidences to prove their imagination or declaration for without the worldly examples of Karma for Karma their beliefs are in constant vulnerability. The God group understands as God’s Word proclaims that Good and Bad, trials and reward occur in this lifetime and it is a dependence upon God’s Will, rejoicing in either Good or Bad that makes life pleasurable not in the Karmic return of having expressed favorable vibration or characteristics that provide reward. In Fact Buddhism states that life is suffering and one must overcome that by output, energy or works of meditation and personal actualization, just as the Serpent indicated, become ONE with God.

So pursuit of Science to somehow in unpacking the elements of Life each man or woman is saying I am not going to believe in God, I instead am going to look for alternative explanation for the Universe at which time I will proclaim, “See I was right in choosing NOT GOD”. Effectively never realizing the potency of the Powers of Dominion and deception upon those in this NOT God state of being. When you pursue anything but God you are not protected, supported or provided for in your mind by God, therefore you are susceptible to all those shades of diversion, deception and argument typically made by the smartest among your peer or influence Group. The Greatest mind in the NOT God group is that of Satan, may the Lord rebuke him if He chooses. So, you are destined to be influence, persuaded or deceived by the smartest being in that group and without the protection of God’s Holy Spirit you will be deceived.

We saw this immediately with CAIN and his descendants as he sought an alternative understanding of Life besides that one God Provided. Now the rub. Without those who do not believe, could belief exist? Of course, each person born could have chosen God. However, that is what is so precious about God’s Will for mankind upon which the angels continue to dwell. For not only did God give us the independence to make the correct primary choice, he gave us the opportunity to recover from the original sin of being included in the NOT God group by proclaiming belief in the Work of His Son upon the Cross, effectively reestablishing Godly Connection to the Father through reliance upon the Son. This belief, ignites the access, cleansing, forgiveness and everlasting acceptance to those who may have pursued the shades of Gray for the bulk of their lives, yet when called by God’s Holy Spirit, in humility they begged for Redemption and return to the God Group. Effectively laying down whatever pursuits of their NOT God participation to be replaced by Belief and adherence to the Truth of Choosing God.

The Choice has always been the power. Man through Adam having chosen disobedience has been tossed about on the waves of persuasive voices, relegating that Amazing choice to the Power and influence of best argument of Man and Angel. But Praise God the Choice remains, with the exception of those having blasphemed the Holy Spirit in taking the enemy’s mark all Who Call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved. It has always been about Choice. Firm up your Eternity, remove yourself from the peer groups of those susceptible to false doctrine, persuasive argument of deception. Simply Choose to Believe. It is the greatest expression of power available in Mortal Life. The irony to Get the Greatest Power we must first acknowledge our lack thereof. Amazing Grace.

Holding on, grasping at or extoling those things that have never or especially now do not properly function defines my attachment to worldly pursuits and outcomes. People who do not wish to turn to the Lord after hearing and choosing to turn from His offer of Grace shall not be pursued. Even and especially when these are family members who are now suffering having shown allegiance to the Powers and Principalities that have deceived them into tragedy and diminished stature of ill health and chronic recurrence. I love you, we cannot walk the same road as the one you have chosen leads to your chosen destination outside of God’s Gift of Grace and Will for my life. If you choose not to forgive me or expect that I succumb to a set of rules that defines your desired outcomes and my goal post of being loved or accepted, then I choose the alternative. I am who God made me and is making me and I cannot serve two masters. He says I am good enough, that is enough for me.

This is the time of clarity and dedication to purpose. Having clearly heard God’s direction I may only pursue the indications of the Good Shepherd. What then have fame, wealth or acceptance in any value when aligned against this eternal tasking. My own Family has turned from me and as those who rely upon their house of cards had to concoct nefarious stories of my unworthiness to console themselves to their choice to Fight with Christ instead of embracing His Mercy and Love. My Prayers are for their departure from that impossible boulevard, but I will not pursue them as I know God certainly is.

What are we as a Constitutional Republic without the Sovereign God to author and protect our rights? We are nothing for without Sovereign Protection we have rights that may be prostituted and stolen by any ambition of this World or the Heavenlies. We have reached the brilliant Crossroads of God’s Foretelling. These are the waning moments of God’s offer to Gentile Planet Earth, for soon He shall turn His attention to Wrath upon Wickedness and Israel’s Salvation. Yes so many will come to Christ through sacrifice in the Great Tribulation who could have made the painless choice of accepting Grace Now. However, many who have staunchly determined to reside on their self created universe will need that much catalyst in pain to turn from Graven Reality and idol. We in this nation are the greatest Worldly example of these foolish pursuits that will crumble in the face of tragedy as we cry out to God for revisiting.

History provides the clarity we seek to make conscious and powerful decisions for posterity. Yet we continue to be short of reason to study it in contemplation. I stand here regurgitating these occurrences in hope that some will look upon them and see our predicament that they too may find escape. I do not hate, do not condemn, but convict in the Word of God to all men. I love and leave the chips for each man to wager or remove. May you hear God’s Clear offer of salvation and find Peace that surpasses this and all world’s, even those of imagination. In Jesus Name.