God thank you for showing the ungodly compendium of human aspects and frailty known as me. Cannot abide the show. So fortunate the masks I would have dawned never seemed to fit and try as I might couldn’t blend into each environment in which I sought concealment. Nope, not good enough for this person, don’t fit into to that aspiration group and too funny looking, short or ill-equipped with personality to measure up to that friendship click. What ws originally detested as loneliness has turned into a skinny, seemingly random path that led to affinity with Christ Jesus.

I am compassionate for the road and the burdens you must bare and my love demands I share your load for segments of the journey. However, just because I have a strong back and you have a lot of burdens does not mean that we will enter/reside in the chapter where you may demonstrate lasting contempt for my God, Faith, friends and beast of burden strength simply to get some occasional attention. Don’t need it. Be fine right here alone with; God, the few folks and critters that want me even in my fugly, poor, unpopular state of being. Couldn’t blend if I wanted to any old way.

Tried to dim the light, guess what it’s His and has no dimmer switch. Tried to keep myself separate from those who would see the light and hate me as the first hated him, they always find me anyway. Light is a hard thing to hide. Tried to tell them of the light and they labeled me with all manner of socially crippling criteria that they truly believed would paralyze my efforts and guess what this power is unmistakable, undeniable and impossible to exhaust. The only true choice is to share with those who want the light and love the rest because hating them compels carnal participation.

So amazing grateful for the missing tooth, unavoidable grin, sturdy legs and peace of mind that set me apart from those trying to assimilate to aspiration. The only thing I want to be is what I am. Not trying to be a better anything, because Christ has me covered. Whatever group I fit in with naturally is where I am staying. The comfort of not having to monitor/adjust my looks, wealth, perceived status or likeability quotient is part of the Peace of God. He knows what I need to change and will change it exactly when it is needed. To that guidance and Will I owe all allegiance, obedience and effort. Not because He terrifies me, which He does, but because He loves me more than He terrifies me and that’s okay with me.