In my quest to do the right thing, as is the nature of every man I found the presumed solution to the deprivation of love I experienced throughout this short existence. Unfortunately, it was the same false cure that each of us discovered, attention, fame, importance through met need. None of these is the actual answer, love, which comes from the understanding that this worlds’ provision of acclaim is never answer but continued unfulfilled pursuit.

We are loved by God right now, right here in my failed or productive state and none of that has to do with works or effort. Love is disassociated with effort. Efforts produce results, results are analyzed by perspective, perspective is unique to the individual inside each of us. Question: If I continue to look for the same people that raised me, the same people that never loved me while remaining on the path to pleasing that perspective I never could rise above, How does that in any universe amount to an equation that I can factor out?

Yes, I am a difficult character as study of history demonstrates was every other extremely gifted individual. This is not braggadocio time but self mastery. I am involved in a battle with self to rise above my own complexities and simply love people as God has ordained. That demands that regardless of the obstacles, I must do the impossible which in Christian faith is never attributed to the saint but to the Savior/Spirit/Father. My success depends entirely on surrender, not on any works because these are deceptive roads we are offered to travel, roads that do not lead to impossible resolutions.

These are days that demand clarity, purpose and God’s wisdom of Proverbs two. This is not the moment for my adoration of failed saints in history who asked for wisdom and then chose their own life desires resulting in the loss of sheep and the failure of shepherd. This responsibility demands that I leave and forget the childish wounds and considerable efforts to resolve dilemmas created nearly a lifetime ago. Love is the answer I seek, it is not found in replaying the same scenario again and again looking for alternate outcome. You either love me or you don’t, there is no guessing or mystery in that understanding, but rather consciousness of what Love is and isn’t.

I seek righteousness and faithfulness of God. I want to be that man that does the right thing by showing up each and every time seeking God’s Will be done, not my own. Solomon failed and in so doing produced the line of savior. What would have happened if Solomon had remained faithful to God? Was he predestined to be held in worldly regard for wisdom only to fail in the process to demonstrate to all mankind what happens to the best of us when they forget the God who created/blessed and promised? Our successes as with love are never found in our own plan of success but in our humility of understanding that the only outcomes that defy temporality are God’s.

So, if I don’t love you for who you are it is demonstration of my continued temporary/carnal pursuance. If I use love as a weapon to judge you it is more of the same. Love is not blind and never will be especially when it used as measure to determine the qualified and the unworthy. This has always been the signal and fruit of synergy with God. For if love be impossible, forgiveness beyond scope and immortality only found in surrender then it is God’s acknowledgement of our adoption the only measure of our success. No amount of wives, concubines, money, fame or legacy will ever answer a supernatural problem for they are doomed in relegation to carnal instruments. In Jesus’ name.