Nothing to tell no one to blame, in quest for all things including the fame. Shot for the stars when kneeling prescribed, stolen some hearts and others I bribed. Stepped in deep holes I dug on my own, shredded the rules the good deeds that I’ve blown. Ran away when fighting was right chose to fight when peace would have been right. Shook in my boots no courage was found ran up on the rocks lured in by the sound. Hopeless at best and at worst simply wrong. Wrote a prayer and a song that she said was too long.

When learning was apt was apt to charge in believing chastisement to let the learning begin. Far away wisdom a shelf up to high, stealthily stealing what I most certainly could buy. Begged, clipped and borrowed the pats on the back instead of just asking I had chosen to hack. Knitting a tapestry with holes at each end breaking their hearts without letting them mend. It was all so simple when checking my list eschewing my purpose in not too exist. Leaving them hanging one claw in the curtain abandoned for sure left alone to be certain.

Pray what is done is the best for all involved. The problems, solutions and issues resolved. The thinking the challenge the charge to be known, not remembered in failure or the bad seeds that I’ve sown. In blossoms and carrots and fruits of the ground may my character and courage finally be found. The sound of the wind no longer whispers a name nor the works of relation some rules to a game. Finding successes in the hearts that I meet the errors of judgment twice not repeat. Replete with good measure and some spices thrown in the taste of good pleasure minus my sin.

Many the road and pleasant the task working for wonder for miracle I ask. Not for my wealth, health or wanton heart but to repair that which is broken no longer apart. Formless and fickle the lusts of this man leaving behind this has always been plan. Would that I wanted and wish that at start was not absent reason and greater understanding of heart. Still in this venue I will plant a tree in the end you will see Him in the fruits that shall be. All splendor and graces pour out through your life whether walking in silence with husband or wife.

I leave you with little it is all that I have the wounds they need healing as eye for the salve. So succor your feelings and let God do His work and forgive those that hurt you especially this jerk. The gifts I was given regardless of muse are only worth having when put to good use. In sadness or badness I lose what’s inside perhaps that is the reason my wound is so wide. Empty beginnings and fine fuller ends the intention we mention, the breaks and the bends. It is not what I suffer that makes me the man nor the breadth of successes that says I am part of the plan. Each breath I deliver each beat of my heart defines my position, hope and my part.

My report, I did my best and still fell short. Reaching down to pick up my flag I slapped on my thigh. Counting the dandelions and clovers I hung my head and waited for the sigh.

Never will amount to the bundle of expectations written in the unfulfilled and unpleasant moments of lives with which in some manner I had psychological attachment.

Should my sadness at not having the power of the Savior be enough to chase me from repetition. The calculus just doesn’t produce worthy sum. Always leads to disaster.

How many times may a young man come up shy of super human to remove the curse of trying to be or become something that was never real. What is the quest to be that person?

The failed experiment ought not run one moment of based thinking. Yet, for so many years I and so many others apply all that they’ve got to forestall something outside of reason.

They call claiming they wanted to help me, when my gut immediately determines that they are in trouble that they perceive I may rid them in the false claim of purposeful singularity.

In seniority I have made the decision to sacrifice my own heart for the reasons that God sent me. This has never been about a realization of my own dreams but His Will that they follow.

Tending the flock or field never determines the outcome. Seeding, weeding, feeding and even pruning simply maintain the soul effects of God upon the fruit and or the bounty.

If I rejoice it is neither in absence of success or fear of failure. I rejoice in the election, the appointment as gardener, shepherd or husbandman, a perfect helper for the King.

In God’s imperial armour I stand in Faith and absolute Courage rooted in the Promises of Covenant Vow. Be Gone, shadows of dark dominion, May the Lord choose this moment to send you forever to Fiery Lake’s of eternal separation and regret.

Be still thy mocking mouth of vile curse, spell and whisper. The sound of serpent’s voice. I stand not in carnal expression of sword arm, bullet or human rebuke, but in the Word of God who IS for everlasting the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Come to Earth, not for simple joy or the pleasure of Mammon inclusion but legal and prophetic fulfillment in freeing the world from its own vile sin and the debt that we could nevr hope to pay. That promise is the power that through faith diverts fiery darts.

Bring back the understanding and Gospel promise of hope that has been lost in reshaped ritual. Take away the gaping maw of depression and damnation, for Jesus’ life was not expended to lose something that precious to our Creator.

Come off the fence of foolish dedication to wait for victor in sides choosing, the Lord has Won. There is no fence but the one from which you will be called to judgment and assigned place in Gehennah upon your works written in the Books opened at White Throne.

We rejoice not in day of presents, food and grace of human effort but the memory and present/future delight given by God to all creation in choice. This day reminds me that many will choose against God and find painful exile as their reward.

We are the Children of obedience, the First Fruits found faithful when looking at that righteous moment Christ bought us back from slavery and damnation. May this be another moment of my faithful reliance upon His Love, Promise and Provision. In Jesus’ Name.

Moments, these, brought in riding upon the breeze. Head aloft, prepared for the road and what rides upon it. Downhills, unnecessary as momentum draws toward the summit.

To plummet in falls beyond measure. Born of sweet things and challenge remembered. The Pleasure not found in lazy pasture or sunburned stream of the dreams that lure.

Frequently forgotten and waiting, debating the farm or a city. No pity given nor answered divorced. No vows loosely given propagating remorse. Unseated, defeated a top of my horse.

Crimes are not passion raging hearts missing hope. The feelings are master, the leader and scope. The slope above one no longer a fraction, the danger noted in amplitude of reaction.

Thank you’s offered as words were not needed. The forest is cleared and the desert is seeded. Bled free of folly inspecting new reason, devoid of excuses in start of new season.

What outlook division while building new hills my heart less useful in paying the bills. Will’s and God’s Plan what I cannot capture in can.This journey not finished by the hand of a man.

Give to the world what it desperately needs as a handful of grass or the horse that it feeds. No solutions found in questions not asked. Purposes sought in opportunities tasked.

Keep close to light and live in the day, the night is not found on our knees as we pray. To say that I’ve learned is absent the truth, youth spent in the quest on the things I forsooth.

Seek ye first to understand then to be understood, says God’s Word. Following Prayer of course Listening is always the hardest and equally most important tool of ministry. I am therefore attempting, perhaps at last or the last such attempt to understand something currently beyond the grasp of my reckoning.

After repeated attempts to build a foundation it all fell to disrepair. Whatever the driving force it was clearly and immediately abandoned, including a destruction of reputation by sniping and word smearing that effectuated an ending. Though methods of repair were considered the concrete message was received and fully obeyed.

Pastor’s are especially susceptible and aware of the dangers of enemy assault, infiltration or mistaken love, affection or friendship not simply for personal preservation but in protection of the flock associated with anointing. This one came with chastisement that could only have been ignored at loss of everything.

The message had been declared and honored leaving the opportunity for rebirth, healing and renewed understanding or pathways/options. Yet at the last moment having chosen the new unencumbered skinny path an appeal was made presenting evidence and emotional reasoning to ignore the obvious.

This delay produced great moments of self reflection. Were this Pastor’s position based on the failed prison of emotional expectation or rooted in true growth and response to Holy Spirit conviction and guidance? The return of health and dedication to Godly purpose revealed a renewed set of Divine providence.

Again, absent any commitment of Godly resolve and repeated calls to honor such commitment or move on the only response was, “I am not in a place to deliver that shared commitment toward God’s Will”. To me, that was the moment of my righteous anger feeling like a human ball of yarn with which feline leanings determined was an appropriate play thing.

Having honorably, though no longer gently received the same clear message repeatedly a severing of dialogue and any aspiration for repair was logical. I cannot make another person’s mind up for them and may only wait and see until such time as clarity of judgment demands a certain response based on logic not emotion or hope.

So, I emphatically and patiently have been directed by God to listen as is His Will for this man. I have no further words until such time as I have fully understood the seeming insanity of this line of continued/renewed effort. As I have been told that I am the impetus for all your sadness and incapable of producing Godly results then barring such special revelation by appeal or God’s Counsel, it is the Godly thing to forgive and move on to further Divine outlook.

I must ask, why can any person, having pronounced their Pastor, friend or confidante unworthy, continue to pursue them and maintain some relationship or contact considering the past titanium judgments and cruel declaration of inadequacy through betrayal of reputation bashing?

Why can you not let ME go? What is your objective purpose? What is left to be said that has not already been declared? I have no ill intent simply seeking shared Divinely guided health and prosperity in Christian service. If you cannot/will not put it to words then perhaps God will give me guidance by Spirit. I will however try to listen as God’s Word directs.

I seek understanding not fodder/rehash to make decisions that have clearly already been made. I am always willing to provide some clarity or wisdom leading to healing, freedom and re-commitment to Christ and the Voice of Holy Spirit. Choosing to walk away from friends, family is never an easy or simply made decision.

I will deny myself for a short period in hope of providing the missing or sought understanding. Forgiveness has been given, blessings and prayers for continued growth in Christ restored. In the celebration of joy at everlasting life and service in these remaining days I adhere to a return to my First Love. In Jesus’ name.

Though influence based upon words will govern understanding each of us have the freedom to choose our own road and the expectation that those decisions will be honored and respected.

Rebirth doesn’t carry with it the failures, successes or dependencies on previous life. It is impossible to be reborn and hold on to anything of previous objectives, plans or counsel. The Lord granted my prayers of contrition with a statement, “complete Reset”. Why have I been backing off of previous ambitions, commitments, service or belief?

For God to increase I must decrease. Subsequently I have stepped back from all Pastor relationships only serving the flock that needs immediate help and has expressed a Holy Spirit guided direction to remain in this flock. I have returned to the things I did at first in the community, speaking to every person that I meet and praying for all those who express the need and welcome to do so.

This is not a judgment of anyone, merely obedience to the only voice I follow, that of the Holy Spirit. This blog is now in its fifteenth year and was purchased by Google last year, forcing me to take over the URL or have it censored as all the other platforms I support. I wish for those who have been faithful to find local unity in a body of Christ and face to face Pastoral care as Mine is dissolving to once again be a focus on Pastoral Mission service.

The Lord is making it clear that there are very few committed to being in my Family until His Return. If you are one Amen and Amen for the love, loyalty and forgiveness. If you are one of those who remains distant for whatever reason may you be richly blessed by a new song, word or Family to deliver devotion, council or direction as you grow in Service to Christ.

This is not my end but a new beginning. I will find success and brief educating failure in Christ Jesus as I walk in this new life of legacy He directs. As with any of the preaching, teaching, evangelism and whatever other gifts He has given to express, I will leave them to God’s Management, reversal or deletion. I bid you Love and Grace in Jesus name.

No regrets in rebirth or the new path the Lord is revealing before each of us. I love you all and want for you the precise plans of God for your lives and time in everlasting. I cannot write with new life or the words that God is handing me without removing attempts to influence voices or convince people of the past about things of the past. Today forward.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I surrender all those things upon which I have placed hope or continued to cling that are not born of a single commitment; to serve His Will for my Life and that of all others. May everyone find utter peace in the only place it may be found, Jesus Christ the King of Kings.

If I were to, write a song that lit the fires within your heart, spoke a speech worthy of encouraging you to give all to fight or tell a tale that captured your every investment, this would be that day. But I am not a man of crafty ideas, songs that tap feet or clap hands and certainly am devoid of necessary talent to alight the fires of man’s will to overcome. No, none of these things may I bring to bear. Instead I will speak of promises and desires that lay in reason beyond the realms of Earth’s living souls.

If I were to have the set of wide shoulders capable to bearing aloft man’s burden, or legs to carry them to the soft ground beyond rocky shores or the skills of shepherd to protect the flock from dangerous jaws then that day would worthy of remembering. But I am a simple man believing upon the miracles of God born in my prayers for mercy and grace and His Loving promise to provide, protect and use me for some grand purpose beyond my inadequate skills or lack of imagination and thinking.

If I were to be the hero who stood profiled upon the high fields of battle, striking courage as lightning in the hearts of the downtrodden in simple sitting tall upon beast of battle or a trumpeter blasting forth the shrill sound of power and hope as enemy line’s approach then no one would fall pray the spirit of fear to which we succumb before battle’s beginning. But I have no such silhouette to capture folk tale nor the voice of angel to remind people of things worse than the fight that God has brought us.

If I were the oracle sitting alone taking solace in the guaranteed visits of kings and pauper to hear my answers given or the wealthy man having conquered every business or realm in clever manipulation of money, men and assets then I would produce revenue fitting to move men’s hearts and situation to solid ground where they may flourish and remember. But I am no mount of wisdom to which men flock for reason or deep understanding and my only hope is found in the Divine Word or understanding that God’s Holy Spirit has promised to give me at the precise moment of my sanctification before man.

It is hard to say no to anyone regarding something that is within your authority to condone yet outside of the command you’ve been given. The Commandment that demonstrates the Christian understanding was stated by Jesus. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength, as you love no other. The last five words of that commandment are crucial in the process and simplicity of saying NO.

We are saved by Grace. Was Adam? Adam had something that none of us had, a choice to obey God and never experience the wages of Sin. Yes, in grace we may be obedient being born again, then why too do we sin understanding fully the absence of Grace and the price/impact of sin upon us all? Why do we crave regret which is what each of us should feel when we fall from the mercy and grace given? Can we tell no one NO?

Will you tell someone NO when you know that it will cost you your: Land, Job, friendship or loving mate? It was nearly impossible to say NO to Eve the woman of his own rib. Should he have? Of course. The entire path of human history may have been transformed if he had. Not to make it the central question here but do you think he was supposed to give in to her? I mean God’s Plan is clearly based upon the foreknowledge of that failure.

Does it take practice saying NO to people before you can hope to master its effect at one specific important moment? There’s a good question that all of us will answer but will never invite. Is this why Christian men are perceived boring, because they must spend the bulk of their lives telling people NO and subsequently/consequently losing the material, emotional and rewards of this life because they cannot play along with the world to obey God?

That truly is the worldly perspective. For from the new creature, born again mind of a Saint, saying NO is a willingness to lose the carnal but a joyous clarity of the results of accepting the Spiritual. See denial of self doesn’t make you boring if in so doing we achieve things that are outside of our capability/authority unless we say NO to Sinful Opportunities.

The greatest difficulty is that it requires us to do so to those we love and do not wish to hurt as we demand obedience to our First Love, God. You see the greatest problem. Most relationships that are not equally yoked are going to require a constant comparison between the love your; Mate, Friends and Colleagues receive versus God.

However, I cannot tell God NO and simply march on into my own expectations having made that decision. Telling my mate NO may cause Arguments, maybe not many if we are equally in love with God as our First Love, but it may cause conflict. I cannot be disobedient to my Mate as We are not in a Creator, Created relationship.

But most relationships in the modern world come with an unspoken threat of affection/intimacy removal if obedience is not observed. Being in this position for a Christian is the worst type of captivity for there is only One Head of the Church. Only One Sovereign God. Only One Creator and neither of us are Him.

Do I have compassion for those who have to say NO to their mate, their kids, Their Boss? Absolutely, but I also have wisdom enough to recommend that you practice for those times that you will be required to honor God first and disappoint these people in your Life. However the greatest advice I can give is God’s, don’t be unequally yoked with a Non Christian for we do not have the same perspective regarding our first love.

To them there is no one above them and that is a conflict that can be totally avoided in choosing someone born again by God’s Holy Spirit. A person with the same goals, objectives and observance of God’s Commands and Will that resides in your own heart. Is it easy to tell your Mate NO even when you are both Christian? NO, but the fight/explanation of why you are saying NO should rapidly arrive at mutual understanding.

If you do say NO and your mate balks or removes affection, Then the problem isn’t just one of leadership, it is the concept of God’s Sovereignty. If that is the case you will either cave to the pressure and stop saying NO or you will say NO one too many times and the person who is Christian by name only will leave to find someone that will. In Jesus’ name Christianity isn’t hard it’s impossible, thank God nothing is impossible through Christ.

Father God may I rest here with you a while? I am so blessed by everything that has happened this year, joyful, sharpening and refreshing. Thank you for every single soul sent my way. I know that the investment of Your Word and Love will return a bounty beyond expectation. May it and You be magnified throughout the coming year, in trials, truth and triumph.

Forgive those times I trespassed against You and those that You bid me love. I am so sorry for each millimeter astray. Make of me the man of Your intention. I surrender again and again as I pick up this Cross knowing that the beating Christ took for me and the Death He willingly entered has more than paid the price for my redemption.

Thank you for the gathering of saints and all things that are destined to remain in Your Presence for Eternity. May we be ever joyful about the promise of that Everlasting life spent with You and the works that are predetermined for even now. Let us serve in distinction and humility these last days before Your Rule and Reign.

I am so grateful for the laughter and the smiles You allow me to collect in memory to be taken with me to where You are waiting. It is an amazing thing, overwhelming in fact to think that God waits for me, when I have so poorly waited upon You. What an absolute blessing and reminder of this gift in my unworthiness.

Lord we feel the dwindling of time and thus the focused energy upon the last efforts of our Ambassadorship. Let us never fear yet understand that the threats are not against us in our person but against the power and efforts we will inevitably complete in support Your Perfect Will for those we are fortunate to meet.

I am filled up, though sadness lingers in the cloakroom of my shelter silence. For mankind must choose and though many will choose well many will make the decision to sit on fence or worse yet choose against Your Gift of salvation and redemption. It is for those unwise souls that my heart weeps.

In a Faith that demands denial of self it is perhaps irony or obstruction of God’s Will to allow individualism to drive daily regimen. Me wanting something doesn’t make it right or the best choice on the list of those things which are good for mankind. There must be an Objective Truth. Praise God there is. HIM. In Jesus’ name.

How do I fit in with the Body of Christ if it is always about the list of my wants, desires and likes? That’s right they are diametrically opposed ways of living. This story was very seldom about me, my history, successes, imposed will or list of things I want to see happen forcing all to comply. It is about denying those and following God.

Strangely that threatens those who adhere to a doctrine of obtaining or attaining the plateaus of self doctrine. We would think that we are not narcissistic, therefore giving in to the needs of the many over the me would be simple. However, we see that often it is the single largest obstacle to unity in the Body of Christ.

Strong willed people force a disservice to this unity, by driving, controlling or steering the current and the mission statement toward a reflection of personal mandate or philosophical simile. That to be honest has always been the root of my failures ironically rooted in a relentless pursuit of personal success, blinded by its implication.

Met a fellow yesterday who was certain that he didn’t know the answer as evidenced in the peace absent in his life, yet he was absolutely determined that no one could offer any rational suggestion that would impact the situation to alternate outcome. I was so sad for him never availing himself of the miracle and majesty of God’s Spirit.

Perhaps, me simply knowing that it is not always (in fact seldom) about me and more about a respectful, spirit filled blend of ideas and efforts that produce unity of passion and thought. This leads primarily to the healthy search for a directing voice other than or combined with my own perspective list of pursuits.

However the true affected outcome is an alignment to serve the only will outside my own that has the perspective and wisdom beyond the constraints of time and space, the objective Will of God. Only through voluntary surrender to God’s understanding and direction has the sting of losing my own focus simply dissolved in healthy fashion.

I am simply overjoyed when I walk with God. Unlike those who appear to be resisting peace I don’t wonder what is next simply venture forward awaiting the joy of guaranteed mystery. Unlike self rule God always astounds and amazes and leads me away from conflict or trouble that I consistently pursue with passion and disregard.