Started to think then thought better of it. Having reconciled nothing to nowhere I sat down and listened for any good advice coming from inside. Nope, no austere voices of wisdom in there. Perhaps I will wait a day take a trolley down town, maybe I will meet up with someone important. And if not just follow the path of least resistance until God or good luck catches up with me.

It is always going to be alright. That doesn’t sit well with the plans and focus I had in my head or heart, but I never was promised to get my way, not even half of it. Good things come along even when we are so convinced that we have no hope and the path of victim-hood has reserved a seat for another day of complaints, regrets and unmet expectations. That’s the best part of failure.

Wished for a moment that she would get a message from God and drop the pride and fortress walls inviting me to reasonable attempt at a good lunch and conversation. But to no avail, I have made much better jails than this one. At least I can get my arms free to wipe the combination of sweat and tears from my left eye, it stings a bit. Boy I get why God said it is not a good idea to hang out with yourself too long or too frequently cause that guy has very little good to say and horrible ideas.

No, it has always been my specialty to charge right up the front of the mountain take a good one across the chops and then throw my opponent of the waiting deep fall and grab a handful of snow for nightcap. A little spit of blood into the snowbank and on to another escapade. Sure wish that problems could be resolved by quiet conversation every once in a while. Doomed to melodrama.

Punctually illiterate. Set a watch ten minutes ahead and always seem to arrive at half passed nine anyway. Feel good about the whole thing and know that though it hurts real bad right now that something will come along to challenge me enough to stop thinking. No ammo left and being as I seem to have forgotten how to spell, I give in to exhaustion and lay down by the roadside. Maybe this night of sleep will take away the pain in my side let alone the hunger.

Days go bye. Night’s carry on. And streams always seem to be headed downhill which make decisions a little easier. Nothing to forget and a lot less to remember. Flowers saved and diamonds sitting somewhere waiting for someone to acquaint them falsely with forever. Smiles, giggles and plates full of cornbread and spicy beans. There are things worthy of remembrance in this pathway to forever. Thank God I got a chance to get a taste for life.