Loving and missing someone often fills the mind with a nagging pain that is tough in dismissal. It however, must be endured for the choices of life must be attended and regardless of our wants we must accept other’s decision. Unfortunately, wishing, wanting and yearning are insufficient cause to pine after another. They have the free will to pursue any life they wish including one separate from your desires, dreams or the captivity of insecure love.

That being said, giving someone free rental in your brain housing group when they have explicitly told you that you are inadequate, insufficient or outside the parameters of their love table is perhaps sign of some immature or inaccurate relationship mastery. Not matching or lining up with someone else’s desires in a mate is not something to in wounded fashion yearn to overcome, but rather clear guidance that perhaps you have been responding to or seeking incongruent love interests. If you don’t match the projection you should quit early.

It is also life experience that commonly makes a relationship work rather than the imprints of love projection. For, subside as they do we are left with the bundle of human foibles standing before us. Absent the burning desire of love or sexual fulfillment this person will have to either be given the time and enduring grace to adapt or there will be endless attempts on one or both parts to change the other. This begs the question is it truly the best path to look for someone that matches the romantic expectation or someone willing to change with you and adapt to the circumstances in those times when the projection just simply doesn’t work?

In the Body of Christ, since a vow of marriage is made before God, then it is not simply expected for couples to remain together through the difficult times but it is essential. God knows that a sexual yearning or romantic/financial/physical projection will never a marriage support. There must be a commitment to endure/abiding in Christ Jesus in the Good times and the Bad, deciding and dedicating together the willingness to love especially when the emotional well is perhaps drying.

We after all are only successful in spiritual matters when fully dependent upon God Almighty for intervention, provision and repair. There is no way to make things work by yourselves. And even worse if one party is in full decision that there is no framework for repair, recovery, improvement or growth. For these things again are simply essential to successful union. Jesus promised us that we would have troubles in this world and it is illogical for married couples to assume that they will have the magic or miracles to overcome these trials without a commitment to meet them and overcome them together in the Love of God.

Loving you means I must lay down my life not only when things are good but when everything goes south. I must have the faith in God to stand in good courage against the storms, especially when I am wrong, irrational or the source of problems. Regrettably highly unlikely to succeed without a commitment to make it to the finish line together, as winners, successfully navigating the trials of this life together. Unwilling to quit, fully dependent upon the Power of God to intervene when miracles are necessary marriages rarely survive.

The commitment before though the first step remains a foundational stair to successful marriage. Therefore both parties need to ascertain a rational willingness to dig in when things get tough for they certainly will. And if unanticipated or prepared for in advance the problems threaten to capsize the vessel of a couple serving God together. So make sure you are on the same page with regard to this vow to remain together no matter what the enemy sends our direction. Because if you assume that you will never face these trials you have started something without discernment and are likely to meet all of those trials you may have avoided through enduring vow before God. In Jesus’ name may He bless you with the humility to establish a commitment in serving Him together even when things are beyond your own/combined capacity to withstand.