You told me to go away, I requested to stay

you said there would be absolutely no way

Respecting your will is haunting me still

With an innocent kiss and large bitter pill

This short time I have left the porch light still on

Sat still in the moment, as the pain not yet gone

Weirdly enough though unpleasantly tough

I knew that I had never loved you enough

Whether fear or experience I stood at arm’s length

Expecting the worst and not trusting my strength

See pain is no friend not really that bad

Better than hanging around and making you so sad

Never claimed to be perfect nor good at this stuff

Promised Love and endurance through thin and the rough

For I’ve seen the great heights and from many have fallen

My psyche so bruised and heart big and swollen

I guess it was smart in protecting that heart

Separating from you before forever we’d start

But love is no prize when chances not taken

Whether good at romance or simply mistaken

I tested your patience for self-righteous reason

Knowing that life is such a short season

Now that we have space, things tidy and neat

With me in my work boots and you in bare feet

It’s oddly quite strange that you continue outreach

A contact with mail or to hear God when I preach

And today you touched base as you struggle with sin

Too stubbornly distant to let me back in

But the sin was my own when I played with two hearts

Disassembling machinery and inspecting those parts

So okay if you will and okay if you ain’t

Too careful with color in the works that I paint

I’ve toyed with my God and messed with your heart

Never taking so seriously that we would soon part

But came as it did never late or too early

It pesters my heart and makes my belly all squirrely

We struggle with things as people often do

Who is more right whether me or its you

But the premise was real and based on the Spirit

And I am glad I came close enough to see us both hear it

Too old to be worried or have ants in my pants

To young to withdraw without one final dance

So I put on this outfit and I’m singing this song

Not really that short but a little too long

That you will find peace in whatever God brings

Worship His Word when each little bird sings 

To say I’m still here most would ask simply why?

When all that you’ve offered is an extended goodbye