May pain, loss and great tests be turned to power and endurance in Christ Jesus. There is more than enough Love in God’s promises to reward the faithful. Yes, men are meant to reside together, especially those of the Body in Love so outrageous that the world is amazed. I have neither practiced nor maintained this love and am delinquent in offering radical love to the body of Christ. Forgive me, hold me to account and understand that I neither demand love nor deserve it but hope that you show God love in obedience by perhaps loving this unlovable man.

Once again I followed spirit and this wounded heart is stronger for the attempt and loss. I would rather fail bigly than escape the pain by being a coward on the sideline of the game in which I may find the words to speak in front of Jesus. Thank you all for offering and removing the promise of love. The only way for me to become joyful in the midst of trials is to face those trials that are both rewarding and painful. Sorry, that this one didn’t turn out in the previous category but I sure and grateful for the growth opportunity.

Thank you Holy Spirit for tolerating me long enough to let me see the light of my current failure. Thank you for using it for some unknown or yet seen good. I wish could have given you a certain win and once again sorry for making you change my mistakes to wine from the putrid water I distributed. This is the greatest day of my life, having lost once again something precious and feeling the commensurate pain I often expect will never come. Lord may the next time be my first opportunity to achieve something for you in righteousness, doing the will of God in Heaven.

May Hope attack you today. May faith be the language you hear and the Word upon your tongue. Find grace, mercy and peace in the challenge I’ve provided. Do right where I have achieved nothing but wrong. For you are the King. May this be the time of my humble servitude for your Glory. May your mighty name be praised in every corner of the world. May Your story be read every day to every child and cherished by the poor and wealthy alike. May dreams be the thing of Hope in your Return. Praise Your Holy Name. My King.

For His Sake. Whatever the path, whatever the intention, whatever the initiative or expectation, He will work all things to the Good for those who love Him and walk according to His Purpose. There is a running list of believer mess ups, mine being one of the longest. I am not first to make these mistakes just a clumsy man with poor attention/learning skills failing to adapt to direction. This too will be washed clean from my running confessions.

I have not performed admirably, but am continually blessed by His ability to show me forgiveness, grace and exception to those things I truly deserve. Praise God that it is not my effort that accounts for salvation, redemption, love or transformation. He is frightful and I fear Him and love Him asking Him to forgive the repeated shame and disrepair of my pitiful efforts. May His will find its way through my mind, fingers and voice. Thank you Lord for providing the pain and joy necessary to getting me to the place you’ve reserved.

My regret is large for those things I have taken for granted or those less than basic skills at relationships, teaching and mercy. My windows are not closed but open that the Spirit of joy and growth may blow through to show me grace. Walk with God, I pray, but if you don’t I will confess that I gave more than enough bait to have you walk away. For that I ask God for a fresh cleansing of mercy and forgiveness. By any right or measure He would be righteous as always in denying me this gift. But, I Pray that once again He forgives as I beg it.

I have tried to be everything to everyone and never was anything to anyone. It is time to serve Him alone and beg no one for forgiveness, as I offer no trespass in the King’s regard. I am so sorry Lord for seeking once again the annals of my happiness. This walk was meant for You not for my enrichment of contentment. I am content with that which You have given or taken away. Let them that have been slighted or hurt feel refreshed by Your Powerful Spirit, that may forget me and remember Your Will Alone. Lord I seek to disappear, but know that the work You’ve given denies that self-protection. Bring me to those in need that they may know and Love Christ.

There is one name and it is not mine that shall be listed at the top or bottom of any worthy list. For it is the Righteousness of Christ Jesus that floats this boat. Storms beware the Lord of Glory rests within the gunwales. He is my only focus and may Spirits run from His presence, power and promise. May the unchanging Word thunder and heal from my lips. May this awful tongue be cleansed and find permanent and singular service to the Will of God. I love but my love is never good enough if not a reflection of that which has been given by God. May His Will Reign supreme. May the darkness retreat as the Light of God flows from my heart.

Alone in my own version of the universe. Thinking that I distinctly heard mention of my name. Standing against the winds and sand-blown assaults, torture for my skin and eyes. But this is not the day for which I was sent, nor the time of my return. My feet feel firm, so I will stand some more knowing that this is not a miracle of my own interpretation. Nor may I muster or manage the talent necessary to turning this curve on a dime in time for the massive successes. My failures will suffice for in the darkest night the light promises to evade them.

Tired but not the exhaustion of a man lost with no air to breathe. I smell the sweat soaking through my flannel. Thinking once again that a whisper called to me by name. What’s left of rife and plunder? What promises shield me from the caustic dawn and the wars that break by morning? What hope carries me forward to take the hills an valleys while somehow knowing that these times are not my end? The prayers are offered for the dying and the fearful. Knowing that God has heard their pleas and has made a way of escape or earned judgment.

Is love absent the hand that rocks to heart of those pent to conquer? Is rage my king? The broken slurs leave my lips as the axe buries deep enough to tear a moon from its orbit. Attending to the dreams and cares wishing the children long days of the Lord’s good pleasure. Each day a measure of the faith I carry forward. Believing when there is no account for those who refuse surrender. This is not a daydream nor nightmare to torture our regretful hearts. We wake from dreams relieved to find the damp air still whistles. And to our planting the remains of logic, emotion and fears we still remember.

This is the night of our successes. Knowing no freedom or the wanton expression of self mastery. We obey the tide and fight the gravity against our massive understanding. So willing are those waiting to take flight and preach the gospel of their own interpretation. Fashioning truth from paper and righteousness from pain, they adore the moments when life feeds them. Adorned in doubt we forgot that God always turns our efforts to good outcome. So we kidded ourselves that so many years awaited us beyond the victories of tonight’s clash. We knew hope and cared not wear our head’s find rest.

All too clear. Reverent fear prompts innocently, definable actions. Repeated attempts at candor, peppered in mendacity decays the moral dependence upon truthful expectation. We are what we are without the sugar coating or attempt to deference of color analysis and judgment. With the ability to confess and ask for cleansing there remains no room for alteration. At some point, perhaps this very moment all must give poignant review.

Simplicity, found in unrehearsed delivery. Never having to recall the lies in order to ponder or release colored truth. Ease of purpose in heart is found first in walk sans mistake, but accepting the absence of perfection, we must then be absolute in our self-review. There is no desire at self-appeasement, no quest for denying failure, rather a healthy understanding that within the mistakes answers reside for adaptation. All too frequent I sing outside of key.

Knowing realistically that no action shall propel me to everlasting only the consistent denial of failure may taint the relationship with Divine, it is the greatest gift beside obedience that my admission comes with awareness. Must I then repeat the negative impact of departure from prescription? Intention, never being the governing factor it is still preferable to desire accuracy of action. Perhaps the greatest gift being the delight that failures ought be expected and though limited in quantity and frequency be met with conviction, confession and transformation in forgiveness and hope. I am therefore most grateful for that avenue for restitution in grace.

And All of that commentary. What is relevance of man’s inclination when God has spoken? Thinking about His Spirit living in each of our hearts. As the Holy of Holies, I am given opportunity. The chance to acknowledge, just as with Christ Jesus, God with us. Emmanuel, having made a home in my body from the belief, faith and acceptance of His seal upon my life. How do I treat God when I am in His Presence? Is He met with indifference or worse yet ignorance of His Hand grasping mine as I walk aware of the Will He commands I venture?

What of those in the body of Christ walking with me? Do I also take for granite or granted that those of the Body hear the same commands upon them? When He directs that I do something miraculous do I attend to that miracle in faith, knowing that; other Christians will have the same opportunity to abide/obey or ignore/disobey the truth He placed on my heart? For instance, if He tells me to give you something in expectation of your dedication to His purpose in your life, do I lose faith when you fail to obey or do I proceed with clear understanding that at some point you will have a change of heart?

Do I look to this world with certainty as it feels the pressure of God’s unfolding plan? Or do I attend to my own expectations and hopes denying the Truth of God’s Word? Will I repeatedly believe that somehow mankind will find his way to righteousness without God? Or do I acknowledge God has already said that tribulation is necessary to change their reprobate/non-repentant hearts? Haven’t I seen the truth of my required Pain Levels to turn from my own pursuits? What makes me continually believe that a remnant means that all will come to God in contrition without a grand scourging?

Is God’s Word and the Truth of His Spirit’s guidance absolute or do I quench Him enough to insert a variable or deviation from that unchangeable aspect? Have I inserted wiggle room, where none exists, to allow for the malleable desire of my own predilection? What is the certainty of my service and surrender to the purposes and Will of God? Is He almighty in every contemplation? Or do I remake Him in the image of fickle worldly gods so that I may attend to my own three wishes? Is God’s offer of Grace and excuse to get what I want in this life? Or was a gift, that I never deserved, the one opportunity to escape the judgment I deserved and find my way back into His Loving, eternal embrace?

Things are getting very clear. Thus my own gray area has shrunk to point where there is no longer any space between light and dark. There is no longer variable cushion to conform or allow for my own vacillation. I am no longer the read bending to the will of each passing wind or word. I am planted upon the Rock of Ages and thus may only continue with a full, immovable belief upon that which God says is going to transpire. We have continued on the same path for ages only to arrive at the same realization that what God says is coming, most certainly is. And that what God requires of mankind to find our way out of this temporal loop is to believe upon the Works of Jesus Christ, especially when they seem beyond our capacity to gather.