That you for the swift and silent retirement to rest. Entitlements gone, with hope to watch a waking the coming of a dawn renewed. Results when unanticipated are always easier to navigate then the expectation of outcomes defined. Hands held, laughs shared these are good things. Who is to say these were not the moons of seasons coming, twinkling, setting among the constellations acceptable to God.

What is born of nights and calls unanswered? Musings torn from the pages of poets lost in hopeless yearning for the rose of their contentment. And dreams, not the dance that we’d once remembered. Steps outside in dust filled streets of freshened sage and wormwood. Benched to watch for nothing. Learning in the view of understanding beyond the outreach of marbled hands. Into the lasso of daydream.

I’ve got nothing nor inclination to pay the ferryman. For alight the gentle touch of wind and trumpet’s cry leave wake entranced by the troops in broad formation. These are not the figureheads of mourning, but the gale and light of battles raged for things lost long ago. And into this brittle morn, the taste of blood and sadness will prompt regret upon each bosom. In delight we had forgotten to adjust the knots that bore us.

Yellowed by the saturating sun. Blanched and beached to drift again and again to the sandy shores of moonstruck meadow. Overhanging the branch and whispered fruit of crops yet planted in due memory. Refined by the peace and punch of faithful reason. Toughened by the bale against our backs, weighed down by nothing but the mass of our indifference. Once again we saw a vision of things lost to time and chaos.

These are not the simple antes in for access and good measure. They are the deposits upon treasures yet vested in our chambers. That things reflect the absence of pure chance. In this day of hope upon tomorrow, seeds we shall plant for harvest beyond summer. And in the fall we shall dust off our caps from chaff and field’s footprint. To once again forget to fear the cold of night or plummeting imagination, to rest easy at the footstool in prayer.

However short, always too long in the moments forgetting that it is ALL and ALWAYS about bearing fruits that associate me with Him. I am not everlasting, I am not the Father, Son or Ghost, I am the man who follows and waits to look and shine His Light. For my penultimate successes are when people see His Fruits in my life, heart and smile. For there is no failure of man held tightly in God’s Embrace of Faith. As the Fruits of the Spirit will begin to show themselves in the bounty of a life well lived for God.

I do not grow, I plant and wait for God to bring the increases. Therefore I have glorious stories to regale the onlookers, but rather the testimonies of how God has used me each day to do the miracles that only He may do. I am a vine sent forth to bear the fruits endemic to my rebirth in Spirit. To show this world that which has always been available, possible and treasured for everlasting. What you see you see and what you do not is not there.

I appreciate my inability to convince anyone of my righteousness, for that was never within my power to deliver. If you see Christ within me His fruit will be measurable, palpable and undeniable. The sweetness, kindness and value of that bounty will be self evident, no need for discussion or apology. It will have grown, rich and true through everything that I do, say and tend. The flock I shepherd will see the Power of God’s Spirit in the care given. No need to write a book, sing a song or paint myself among the beloved of God for they shall know.

There is no painting to render, no works to impress or bounty to grow of my own hand in sweat and braggadocio. I abhor my boasts. I do not care what achievements you would have me produce to qualify as leader. For I am the simple thing that God uses to confound those who know I never could do what they’ve seen in the blessings God has rendered. I am what He makes me and do what He does through me, I repent of the brief musings where I told you any different. I was that man now I am this member of the Body of Christ.

Some common joy found in belief and resultant faith from the establishment of His Word in our Hearts. Have we ever been one body? Not that I have seen, but my perspective matters only as one appendage, organ or sinew. For I am not the body nor the directive head but a working member of the living vessel of Christ Jesus. I long to see you sure, filled with hope, waiting upon the outcome of God’s Faithful Promise.

Let it not remain what I want for you but what the Word prescribes that all should see and know. For the invisible things of God are seen by the entire world. Our failure as the beloved to acknowledge the Sovereign Hand upon our hearts and lives is greater abomination that for those of the disobedient to look away. We have known Grace, forgiveness and the mercies of Life Everlasting following this brief set of trials.

Yes, the spirit of disobedience grows in this world as few respond to the call of God upon hearts and minds. Most crave, most lust, most desire and conspire for their greatest contentment found in the realization of personal dreams. Oh, that we would see God’s Plan and know in our core that all the blessings He has planned for each of us amount to the greatest things that may ever happen to man or wife.

Seek not the pleasure of watching as voyeur those who disobey God for this is compounding personal sin in the infection of the world around. Do not profess yourself wise but humble yourself before the Truth, Honor and Power of God Almighty. Bow before the Judgment Seat of Christ Jesus. Know in your hearts that all your actions for everlasting are found in the duty, gifts and service to the coming Kingdom of God.

In denial of self we hope together for hearts that neither stray, wander or falter before the tasks and trials of this world, but yearn for the fulfillment in everlasting. Lord let our hearts be quicken in the long-suffering and enduring forbearance that lead to repentance, forgiveness and cleansing in righteousness. The great day of our ascension is found in being presented spotless, untainted before the King of Glory.

What does conviction give to man that makes him obey? Does the law remind, make clear or forbid pursuit of sin? No, the Law shows us our reflection against God’s commands. We are imbued with the choice to comprehend the severity of our dilemma and seek succor in Christ Jesus or turn away in our own desire to remain the same. That choice made wisely leads to further faith in knowing how to love God through obedient and reasonable service.

May we rejoice now in nuanced clarity of understanding that we may be presented before Jesus in faith, hope and blamelessness, spotless before our smiling King. How does our lineage to the failed faith of our Fathers accomplish any of this task if we are not yet ready to commit our lives to Christ Jesus? Taking a walk in the direction of Spirit, leading us to the place of our Divine Service for the King. Then and only then do we find the Truth in belief. Time for me and you to rejoice in the Doing of all that God has promised.

Thank you Father for using the pain of changed minds and hearts to reconstruct my own foundation. I always talk about embracing the pains of: loss, betrayal, health and relationship, but often find the sour taste a bit too acrid for my joyful acceptance. It is evident that Your Hand is upon me and would only be perceived too heavy for me to withstand if I didn’t know that You Alone know the Man I am to become. Please forgive me for asking to limit, take away or spare me the burden of this prompting and cleansing pain for I know that it is my reluctance/resistance to change that sponsored its use. I love you and thank you for what You are doing in my Soul and Spirit.

Now comes the wonderful part the healing of those wounds freshly opened. Now comes the truly beneficial avenue of transformation and remaking into something that greater reflects Your Image upon this man. Lord thank you for taking away that which I was incapable of defending, supporting and encouraging in my previous state of growth and maturity. Let me look forward to the next Divine Opportunity You are building even now as I write these lines. I am overjoyed to see Your Hand of conviction, reconstruction and pray that the clay of my surrender is perfectly pliable for Your Will to be observed in all that I do, say, pray and think.

I am truly blessed to see Your Presence as the evidence of my continued Hope and use for Your Coming Kingdom. Please stay close to me and rapidly call me home when I mistakenly venture even several footfalls from Your Intentioned Path for this Life. I truly rejoice at the opportunities that are being presented in these days leading up to the Return of the King, The Lord Jesus Christ. Make me like Him Lord. Make of me a good vessel, a new wine-skin ready to carry forth the fruits of Your Life Giving Waters and Everlasting Love.

There is no where else for me Lord but with You. I pray for discernment in only participating in quests directed by Your Holy Spirit, eating with those who have been sealed by Your Spirit, Loving all as You Love them even those yet to make a determination regarding Salvation and finding peace, Hope and Joy in each trial, temptation and Divine Opportunity to spread Your Gospel message. In Jesus’ name.

What is the evidence of a changed heart? What actions act as solid proof that someone has been moved to the point of transformation? Is there a documented list of those things to look for in a man or woman to determine that some emotional impact or cognitive figuring have produced the impetus for a true adjusted set of behavior or character modification?

Is it optimism or lack of depression and seemingly perpetual sadness to reveal a prevalence of laughter, self-esteem and general happy outlook of the world? Is it a retreat from discussion revealing a desire to change the scope and length of unwanted or ineffective conversation? Or is the evidence the desire to emulate model behaviors?

Where does a man find his reward? In what category of social expectation or profile does he hold things dear regarding the accumulated improvements to character, outlook and social credit? Is there some measure of a society’s greatness that comes from a good character as Alexis De Tocqueville claimed about America in the 1830’s? Is it that simple that we must be aligned with the goodness of God to be seen and perceived changed, healthy and righteous?

This is not simple religious discussion, but the true conversation of men who want to walk right in this world and have every opportunity to be found in the one that follows. As Americans we have looked upon faith as a meek undertaking, when to those who study our history we find that our faith is what made U.S. overcomer’s, those somehow capable of achieving or receiving miracles precisely when needed.

If and when necessary I will be that burr beneath your saddle. For in the history of this once Great Nation everything good happened through the active, healthy and participative pursuit of God by our people. And conversely everything bad occurred as departure to our own vain thinking believing ourselves the origin of righteous change and not the Love and protection of our God.

The elements that prove change are simple, but they require a belief upon the Lord Jesus Christ and the intervention of God’s Holy Spirit. The proof of a man’s transformation may only be found in his Imago Dei, or likeness to God. Therefore the evidence of my real change is not emotive or qualitative as with perception, not found in self-actualization but in the presence of the Fruits of God’s Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

Until I have exhibited these fruits as evidence of my connection to God then all my other efforts at self mastery are works not gifts. So, my proof is what God shows you He has done in my life, not my own list of my better qualities or the achievements of self. This is freeing, for it is no longer what I say that I am that matters but the fruit each of you see God producing in me.

Therefore, I take as small council the things that I believe deficient within except as I confess to Almighty. For the changes that are based upon objective Truth are the transforming aspects of my character and behavior that reflect His presence and action upon my heart and mind. If you want change then walk with me, remind me, pray for me to begin to look like Jesus for all else are the works of our own vain and hopeless appeals of fleshly authority.

What is the nature of my making that I have natural resistance to the flow of God’s Will through me as a created being? In essence, why do I chomp at the bit or kick against the goads/pricks? Why face this potential loss of warmth in this energetic loss? Because the electromagnetic force that is summarily created serves obvious and nuanced purpose.

Why must I venture out from solid advice or command to discover that things are hot, dangerous, prohibitive and just plain not good for the soul of man? What is the nature of a child, referencing self, that they must always test the boundaries of obedience to good faith and conscience. I am reminded of Paul’s dilemma in knowing that which is right but being incapable of maintaining the wisdom of action contained in that understanding.

There is some complexity to my creation to which I must place prayer and wisdom. Although, I am the seed of Adam in that I am a handful of dust/dirt with the animation through the breath of God’s Spirit, I possess the seeds of heavenly eventuality. I tend to believe myself base, simple and easy to predict, however in the nature of my innate, childish nature to test my Father I find that complexity or nuanced curiosity that has me somewhat perplexed.

Is this the rub, the pervasive sand paper of the soul that forces man to work out his own salvation in fear and trembling? What else may I perceive knowing that I am determined to touch that which God forbids or know that which God prohibits or pursue that which God has made sacrosanct? God’s plan is greater than I have the capacity to imagine therefore it defies logic why any man would look outside of God’s will for the answers that endemic to His Mind.

Why then reside in the unknowing of simple temporal understanding or better described as vain imagination? When the complexity of things beyond self lay waiting in the adherence and respect of simple following God? Especially when the power to overcome the world and the wisdom of this reflection are given freely for our use and resolution? I know that the nature of God’s design includes this principle of reluctance within my machinery. Am I allowed to rid myself of this wrinkle can it be voluntarily surrendered to the point where each of us may escape the tension of two opposites?

I do not wish to test God in any manner, yet I do. I do not wish to disobey at any opportunity, yet I continue to pursue this folly. I do not wish to pollute, poison or taint the blessed plantings of God’s Grace within my destiny, yet I sow putridity in the midst of that provision. This must be a natural occurrence akin to the pain that prompts transformation. I must see my flux inhibited, my power misdirected and my own will prostituted in order to see the pain and danger of doing the same within my relationship with Almighty.

Lord, I pray that there is an answer presented. I pray that I am aligned with your will such that the deceptive nature of my own pursuits, desires, expectations are overcome and may no longer overcome the will of my desire to serve without question or resistance. It may be the intrinsic nature of this design and conflict created to produce the potential for transformative victory, but it just feels wrong and looks even worse. Please let me succeed in Your Power for my own in obvious observance is less than the course demands. In Jesus’ name.

Not just looking but seeing the parts of your self that even you refuse to forgive. Those aspects that are beyond self-control, repetitive agents of destruction staring back at you when you venture to review. These are the days that are so long to suffer. Seeing things that are true you wish weren’t, incurable moments where it seems that even the Almighty has left you bereft of His Sovereignty and transformation. No amount of depression, wishing, hoping or simply looking away changes that which should and must be guided into freedom.

This is the moment of surrender or departure from the miraculous hand of God. It is not enough to simply abide them or think that they will somehow self-correct. They must be eradicated or be taken from you leaving you to forgive yourself which must be done in loving care. There are things I would ask for you to sustain. There are things I would ask you to convict me of and there are things Lord My God that you will have to remove from me that are stubbornly destroying a move forward into truly loving the people before me in Grace.

The single common theme is the arrival at a departure from those things which have gone before. Crying out to God for assistance, knowing absent His intervention these things will either fester or prove too great to tame. I pray that you and I both are at that point of surrender, perhaps the only way to move forward in any endeavor expecting a different outcome than the past can or would provide. What is the catalyst? Well pain for one is the typical outcome from insufferable behavior as the people and relationships are repeatedly and arguably perpetually destroyed no matter how you tend them or wish for healthy abdication.

The answer is never found in more self-loathing, nor in wearing the hateful shirt they would have you don as they label you imperfect. These too are tools of the uncommon, may the Lord rebuke them in their unloving comportment. No, this must be done in love and surrender to God’s Almighty salvation. No other power possesses the logical control to find you to the other side and freedom. For whatever reason I have been an insufferable rear end. Standing here either in self-reflection or public viewing there is no other acceptable answer. As to the solution it will be found because it is consistent with the humble need for transformation and the conviction that God frequently reminds me. The failures of self are the learning prompts of the man I am to become.

I honestly don’t know the path that it will take me to arrive at destination. I am sorry that the pain this situation gave both of us was inconsistent with the tolerable. Run, certainly run. As the answers are beyond even me. Only God’s intervention will rid me of the particulars. Sorry, although necessary and assistive, is never enough to make up for the absence of good, repeatable character. The sight is always the beginning for unseen these aspects of inhumanity are repetitive and self-defeating. I forgive you for not hearing me appeal to the assistance of God and so much so for your commitment to walk wherever God is leading. For these parts of self died on the cross with Jesus and the realization of Grace is the only way forward to health, freedom and consistent agreement of healing to arrive at the freedom of peace given by Jesus. I know this on my part this goes no further and will meet a certain end in God’s Plan for this man who loves Him. May His Will guide, protect and nurture our everlasting.

A simple cup or bearer arranging flowers to carry in a handful of water. These are not demons I slay but former versions of self. No harbinger of dark times yet acid runs through these veins and the acrimonious song burns my lips. Yet flowers no more but the blocks and riddles of heaven. Gone, thank you, dismissed, you’re welcome crying overhanging the great drop to the center of the mind and universe. Do you wish to fall, landing the broken blessings of yesterday’s man?

Reformed, made to withstand and thousand greater heart aches and trials that would consume all previous thought manner and intention. This life given neither hampered nor dismayed but phased out of shape and time to become purpose and hope. Freed from the greed of a man’s lust for more. Taught exhaustive language to embellish and explain the purple dawn of a million unwed moons. This is too hard to hang on to tomorrow’s yesterday. It shall be set free.

Spit holding the sanctimony of man’s humbled tears to feed the footsteps of creation. Retarding the flames that shape and bond. World’s away, looking for the light of man’s distant fashion. Cupped in the palm of God held close for inspection, I am no more, just vapor, hollow thought. Looked upon, seen and forgotten by myself, remembered by someone greater than I may know. Ashamed and mesmerized that He knew me before the world dawned. Thank you for giving me nothing but a puzzle. Thank you for carrying within the seeds to end all wanton.

This life hurts because the next one does not. Though, I have begun living for eternity the pain of interactions, loss, betrayal, failures and wasted efforts continue to impress a heavy weight upon my soul. A weight making life more worth living, not that we voluntarily seek burden, but extraction must sometimes be undertaken to save that which resides closely.

What a sham, telling those around you that they are part of something only to have the rug yanked out from under them when the controlling parties make a decision to cut and run. Used by your own foolish adherence upon character, characters that assured this time was forever. Forever, is only for those willing to believe upon miracles and face whatever immovable object or irresistible force to say that We did it together, believing upon God.

Time to rededicate to those things that build everlasting and remain thankful for the pains that build tenor. Not to miss out on opportunities to love and unfortunately be hurt again and again, but to do so with less expectation of achieving some personal satisfaction instead the growth of soul. I am sorry that I expected, however foolishly to find those willing to walk through the fires together, even willing to carry the wounded or incapable at times as a reminder of commitment.

Sorry may only be said to free the soul of mistakes that mattered. Not said to somehow regain position to achieve once again the fulfillment of my own desires and projected dream-state. Rather, sorry that I did not honor God and respect you enough or remember the ideals of precious things in life enough to be awake in every moment. Not taking things casually or in flippant regard but instead giving them the highest value and honor they deserve as those moments and efforts that are worthy of accompanying each of us to heaven.

Failure to acknowledge the preciousness of life; people and circumstance will create the greatest lasting pain a man may feel. For in this behavior we may even see the need for this price to be paid for the sake of maturity and growing character. It does not mean any of us should seek this tragic mishap. We instead should revive our hearts and minds right now to take all of these wonderful things with us when we go, even those lost to those not patient enough to do the necessary work of tandem life. For they are not required to commit, it after all is always choice and since many may only remain if you treasure them so, it is incumbent upon the those of enlightened hearts to treat them better than they deserve so they never forget they are precious and leave the field of fire and effort.

Father God thank you for the opportunity to serve you and forget myself for awhile. I hope the periods of self-reflection continue to shrink to a point where I only see, hear and pursue Your Holy Will. Lord I am sorry for my impulsive or sinful action, especially those that lacked love and awareness. Lord may I seek first to understand what other’s are experiencing and then be understood. I am so weary of seeking my own objectives that deter what You have ordained for my favor. Thank You for making it so very painful that I never want it to happen again.

These are the days of peril for mankind. Lord direct me to assist in readying as many faithful hearts to stand in good courage in Your Wonderful: Protection, Provision, Promise and Power. Lord may we stand collectively for the Nation of Israel especially the remnant of the faithful as You intervene to cast off the enemies seeking their destruction. Lord as Jerusalem becomes a cup of trembling for the world let us steal our hearts to the fearful spirit that the enemy wishes the world to accept. May we remain steadfast in the Powerful seal of Holy Spirit.

Father God it is has become so easy to get caught up in the shiny, chaotic energy of a world seeking separation. May the faithful remember You are in the boat with them during every storm. May this world begin to fade in our recognition and instead the people become our concentration. For you so loved this world that You gave Your only begotten that they may be forgiven and in Your presence for everlasting. We must remember that they are the treasures that we may store for ourselves in heaven. May we DO Your Will on Earth as it is done in heaven. Father bless those who curse me and may I forgive the wrongs done me, immediately, leaving my heart free and fresh for Your Powerful Word.

Lord God may the overwhelming nature of circumstance reveal to me the errors and necessary changes in my heart. Through this revelation may I seek the change of Your Spirit and follow the direction to each transforming opportunity. I fear you alone Lord and look forward to having these stances challenged that I may be found enduring in Christ Jesus. I face this world in joy as it acts as change agent providing the impetus that my faithful eye may never deny, calling me to change and preparation for service and Your Glorious Appearing.