What is the nature of my making that I have natural resistance to the flow of God’s Will through me as a created being? In essence, why do I chomp at the bit or kick against the goads/pricks? Why face this potential loss of warmth in this energetic loss? Because the electromagnetic force that is summarily created serves obvious and nuanced purpose.

Why must I venture out from solid advice or command to discover that things are hot, dangerous, prohibitive and just plain not good for the soul of man? What is the nature of a child, referencing self, that they must always test the boundaries of obedience to good faith and conscience. I am reminded of Paul’s dilemma in knowing that which is right but being incapable of maintaining the wisdom of action contained in that understanding.

There is some complexity to my creation to which I must place prayer and wisdom. Although, I am the seed of Adam in that I am a handful of dust/dirt with the animation through the breath of God’s Spirit, I possess the seeds of heavenly eventuality. I tend to believe myself base, simple and easy to predict, however in the nature of my innate, childish nature to test my Father I find that complexity or nuanced curiosity that has me somewhat perplexed.

Is this the rub, the pervasive sand paper of the soul that forces man to work out his own salvation in fear and trembling? What else may I perceive knowing that I am determined to touch that which God forbids or know that which God prohibits or pursue that which God has made sacrosanct? God’s plan is greater than I have the capacity to imagine therefore it defies logic why any man would look outside of God’s will for the answers that endemic to His Mind.

Why then reside in the unknowing of simple temporal understanding or better described as vain imagination? When the complexity of things beyond self lay waiting in the adherence and respect of simple following God? Especially when the power to overcome the world and the wisdom of this reflection are given freely for our use and resolution? I know that the nature of God’s design includes this principle of reluctance within my machinery. Am I allowed to rid myself of this wrinkle can it be voluntarily surrendered to the point where each of us may escape the tension of two opposites?

I do not wish to test God in any manner, yet I do. I do not wish to disobey at any opportunity, yet I continue to pursue this folly. I do not wish to pollute, poison or taint the blessed plantings of God’s Grace within my destiny, yet I sow putridity in the midst of that provision. This must be a natural occurrence akin to the pain that prompts transformation. I must see my flux inhibited, my power misdirected and my own will prostituted in order to see the pain and danger of doing the same within my relationship with Almighty.

Lord, I pray that there is an answer presented. I pray that I am aligned with your will such that the deceptive nature of my own pursuits, desires, expectations are overcome and may no longer overcome the will of my desire to serve without question or resistance. It may be the intrinsic nature of this design and conflict created to produce the potential for transformative victory, but it just feels wrong and looks even worse. Please let me succeed in Your Power for my own in obvious observance is less than the course demands. In Jesus’ name.