This life hurts because the next one does not. Though, I have begun living for eternity the pain of interactions, loss, betrayal, failures and wasted efforts continue to impress a heavy weight upon my soul. A weight making life more worth living, not that we voluntarily seek burden, but extraction must sometimes be undertaken to save that which resides closely.

What a sham, telling those around you that they are part of something only to have the rug yanked out from under them when the controlling parties make a decision to cut and run. Used by your own foolish adherence upon character, characters that assured this time was forever. Forever, is only for those willing to believe upon miracles and face whatever immovable object or irresistible force to say that We did it together, believing upon God.

Time to rededicate to those things that build everlasting and remain thankful for the pains that build tenor. Not to miss out on opportunities to love and unfortunately be hurt again and again, but to do so with less expectation of achieving some personal satisfaction instead the growth of soul. I am sorry that I expected, however foolishly to find those willing to walk through the fires together, even willing to carry the wounded or incapable at times as a reminder of commitment.

Sorry may only be said to free the soul of mistakes that mattered. Not said to somehow regain position to achieve once again the fulfillment of my own desires and projected dream-state. Rather, sorry that I did not honor God and respect you enough or remember the ideals of precious things in life enough to be awake in every moment. Not taking things casually or in flippant regard but instead giving them the highest value and honor they deserve as those moments and efforts that are worthy of accompanying each of us to heaven.

Failure to acknowledge the preciousness of life; people and circumstance will create the greatest lasting pain a man may feel. For in this behavior we may even see the need for this price to be paid for the sake of maturity and growing character. It does not mean any of us should seek this tragic mishap. We instead should revive our hearts and minds right now to take all of these wonderful things with us when we go, even those lost to those not patient enough to do the necessary work of tandem life. For they are not required to commit, it after all is always choice and since many may only remain if you treasure them so, it is incumbent upon the those of enlightened hearts to treat them better than they deserve so they never forget they are precious and leave the field of fire and effort.