In the chambers of our self worth, stored images, perceptions, false and real. Is it real to imagine myself noble? To believe somehow my time has been spent sidestepping the unrighteous ideals and notions of a heart known to be average. Intelligent but average, nothing new, nothing rare, nothing resembling elevated character and decision making. What must we tell ourselves to establish this ruse of self containment and conditioning?

In all my ventures, sweet and dark, the consistent factor when reviewing my performance has been a resilient level of mediocrity. Why then would I believe that writing home of valor and applause is somehow anything but absurd or delusional? I have impressed no one especially myself and the things I have done worthy of accord have all been the dynamic voice and direction given me by Holy Spirit. I am a productive man led by the Hand of God.

I cannot follow you into the alleys of your indifference or foolish attendance to errant flesh. If you wish to wrestle with Almighty, I will not stand with you but kneel before Him in prayer hoping that He councils you to reason. I have had my stomach full of disobedience and affirmation of my ignorance. For the longest time I believed that this somehow was unloving, discouraging or disloyal, but maturity elucidates the alternate. Resisting is real love.

In these moments where the opportunity favors to demonstrates aspects commensurate with character. I shall not squander the chance to do something right. I am not one to threaten or cajole, but in discernment if I stand against this foolish movement perhaps one or both of us will exhibit sufficient faith to please the Father? Nonetheless I must try. For in this miserable history of weakened resolve I have prayed and hope for the pregnant moment to be found in Grace bringing Glory to the King.