Birds in trees idolized by the spreading wind humming along in concert. Dawdling in the noonday shade, whiling away time as if was never scarce. Too many reasons not to push the gas, too many doubts to dawn this armor, too many unspoken fears and what ifs or whys. We came to dance but we never learned the steps because we were really meant to be at the parade. The only thing we hope for is a partner who is understanding in retreat.

What light calls my name? What wind seems to lure me onward? What sun compels my heart in darkness? Way too simple to pretend I am anything other than the cowhand I was always intended. I cannot farm the lilac or contend in sonnet with time of seven eight. Too far from proud, with bent back, broken spirit and worn out excuses I simply don’t have the energy to act if acting were my gifting. Slinking back into the frozen tundra, hidden in the tans and whites of winter.

Two bits and a name written on a folded bond. Pushing carts of the in-useful to a place where I may watch over it for fortnight. Longing to be free of this quest to speak in a base tone that makes me believable. It is okay to fail myself, but there is no way to fail God, for He shall provide where I am short, of poor character, treasure or stature. The only prayer is that as I mess things up entirely He turns all things to good and makes a way to bring Glory to His Name. I only pray now that I am forgotten in His Honor.

Having lived in moments so specious to remember, the recollection always take the same mold. Too short for sheets, shoes and sandwich. Too broad to reposition. Too lean to live on the gristle. Life should be a resounding, long swell of waves in applause, sanction and gratefulness. The braid of fear and indifference are scissored and sprinkled upon my limited inducement of rousing bravery. For I see the way this is going and I know that somehow God will bid me run onto the field of battle with a raging smile and cantankerous heart. To war we go in pleasure, mustering courage and judgment from my short supply, firm in God’s faithfulness to provide what I have never had.