Chasing, not always blindly after those things which do not further. What mountains shall I gain and lands review that are not already within the purview of God’s eye on Creation? Is there some hope of escaping His domain and for what reason would I remove my lips from the cool waters of life, just to say that I had done something of my own? My choice is my volition, my intention my domain, my willful disregard of the boundaries of existence, my desperate attempt to say that I am anything but a man.

Make a thing, buy a thing, be given a thing by those who join me in vapid quest only to find myself in hopeless unanswered prayer to that object of my own desire. The only hopeless thing I have truly found is my relentless pursuit of the idols and trappings of a world headed for guaranteed trainwreck around yonder bend. In moments of stepping back walking away finding once again the skinny path of the world’s mockery I find my brilliance. I do not follow well. Even God, I have hard time mirroring.

What is a man to become but the outcome of the seed planted in him? What is my character, my fibre, my nature but that which comes from the Almighty’s crafting? How then may I be anything other than that which was determined in God’s reason and expectation? If I choose to be thief, brigand, reprobate, adulterer or life taker then I have demonstrated the Truth in God’s predestination of my damnation. I have not shown my powerful statement of disobedience by choice simply by becoming the man He promised I would be if I chose that path.

I have stepped away from God and each time find the same path, outcome and separation from prudence, blessings and righteousness. There is no there out there among the vain dreams that see me emperor of my own realm. Why would I tend fields with no sowing? And in the maintenance of those things which shall never bear fruit am I nonplussed by ignorance. Shouting and spitting into the winds of coming shadow, being silenced by my lack of fear I am found bearing nothing, believing nothing and with nothing so show or take with me to Gehenna, but the desperate attempts of a disobedient child to tell his Father that he never loved Him.