In Pain for this nation I’ve loved so long. Not the self promotion or longing for something that has gone missing, but the grievous acceptance of a decision to depart. Leaving all that is safe, logical and historically sound for less empirically travelled theories and philosophies of those who chase gambit by laying in wait. Leading the few the solemn the hopeful into the quagmire and fast waters of possibility, when their destination assured. Gone nor to fill my pining upon return but the hard pressed, reason lacking arguments of children. Maturity absent and leaders in short supply, especially them who preach justice we followed in disregard of warning, knowledge and humility.

These things so mysteriously gone but in remorse absent penitence we refuse to admit nor accept the answer to our own self created nightmare. We’ve known that this was coming, yet worse we knew or used to know the method of retrieval. having forgotten the price of dancing, humility and courage in admission we are left bereft of freedom and forgetfulness and pride resistant to its commandeering. We are not the product of good genes and prosperous planning but the gambling of less accurate understanding. Men who through largesse would be made markers in historical annal. What does that make men who choose their own plunder, who give up all that is righteous, true and forgiving to make their own stain upon humanity’s driftwood of time?

Unwilling in acceptance of our own constructed fate, we stand unimpressed by the whispers and offers of stability. Instead we moor our vessels to chaos as the waters of time lead headlong to the edge of reality. Precipitous, the leap from plateaus not meant for wishing. Our story one of foolishness shall be told to remind youth of the roads unsubstantiated by evidence and reward. We have eschewed our great wealth, having forgotten the priceless pearl of wisdom buried in the back forty. Pawned our treasures for the smell of leather and candy mixed with blood. Ours are not the wise musings of men and women destined for greatness, but the less than mindful pursuits of those who hold sin in promise and loam as good ground. We shall dispense with pleasantries as they appear full of sand and grit as they are stirred around by our wicked tongues.

What is holy and pure? What memories of finer things draw fresh within our lobes or recall fondly against our softened hearts? There is no glory such as these. There are no reminders of innocence to pleasure our dilemma. We are hard as packed soil, forgotten the plow, nary aware of seed and water, absent the fertilizing health of vitamins, song and weather. We are the twice dead, plucked up, having no moisture at dawn facing the rising and merciless Sun. We may mount no effort of edification and prefer to slur, slander and criticize. For we have forgotten what we knew of love. We have dismissed the possibility of summer rain and committed ourselves to the savage hunt of the few last gasps of self effacing pleasure. We are best forgotten, for we have done the same to all that is good or worthy of recovery.

Why walk away in fear. When price is paid, safety found to build upon a universe in hope. Unashamed of my loss and fame, futures transformed by wisdom intrinsic to a perspective beyond definition. Impractical understanding set free from primary engines and diplomacy. Escape no longer necessary as the exit signs dismissed. No longer along for the ride but life found in the center of commitment to embracing change. Gone the quest to remain behind cardboard shroud maintenance.

I am no safe harbor for those seeking absence of law and will. No lonely island providing fruits and sustenance for them who believe separation somehow refreshing. Inclusion preferred not symbiosis but cooperative adherence to principle beyond the simple pursuits of lusts incumbent men. The fiery flames of eternity lighting the way through bent space and tunnels in time. How thoughtful the maker giving space to allegiance in choosing.

We are not the leaders and holders of preference but observant participants in the fabric of law and life. What dreams portray, what hope embodies, what joy transform from reticence to probability we find as umbered hearts. Infrequent the chance meeting rather having been scheduled upon the massive slate of sovereign scribbling. Found treasures of measure beyond filament, casting no shadow blended into real. We scramble for entry having left behind reason, emotion and cause for desirous departure.

Walking hand in hand together witnessing all purpose, reason and atomic decision. Bounded by the borders of banded universe where time stands observer. What is death but carbon storage or refuse of chemistry and calculus. Forgotten analysis and analytic no longer longing unholy measure of capacity, performance and legacy. Songs beyond the power of dance and sway but made to kindle or spark the brilliant mosaic of being. In his pious interrogatory of existence, we see the simplicity of spectrum’s pause. Reflecting the loss of ambiguity in the gravity surrounding events and horizons. All things are apparent in the glue of everlasting relation.

Remember the days when worry was your last concern? What is peace but that framework that sustains one’s mind in the moments of chaos or embraces the lack of same? To where do we proceed into an unhopeful future attained by ideals, philosophies and wishes of incumbent morality and the history of mankind? What have we produced as men that is so objectively rewarding? To what manner of elevated performance have we manifested those good things of man? What is the status of Peaceful mankind? As travesty walks, we applaud him in his orange apparel proclaiming him pedestal man, hero of a twisted nation?

Whose counsel have we accepted and inured? Our children have split, fractured or warped perspective born of sciences who know not yet how to bend space and time, yet are thoroughly ministered in defense of destroyed innocence. When have we proclaimed ourselves beyond introspection, criticism and truthful comparison to the things of this dimension? When do the laws of physics fail in application to the geography and gravity of this worlds’ subject? To what have we esteemed? To what objective do we attend? To what fanciful reason do we apply our thinking if it fails to match the wisdom in God’s Word, history and empirical truth?

I hold in mind the giggles of children unrestrained and unmolested by the brutalities of men’s mind. What is their purpose in this world and do they serve the Creator’s Glory or the machinations of bullies in subjection to cruelty? What is the reason for our birth? Is it to serve as progeny to parent or as link through a history intent on elevation of thought and action? What have we demonstrated in our applied theory of man’s greater gifting? I see no regard to self reflection. No attendance or precise measuring of efficacy versus idea. No accountability for submitted theory that should never have been considered for the probability or possibility of law. We have failed miserably at holding ourselves up to the light by which all should be defined. Who are we if not considered in our production versus our design? A watch that imperfect records time is of spurious worth at best.

We shall not be accounted in history by our failure to feed men’s lusting. Au contraire that inability to please men in their wickedness, shall in fact be our regard. How pleasing are my pursuits to God? How rewarding my actions to the protection of those things righteous and favorable to furtherance of man’s health, purity and growth? We have long pursued and arguably achieved the skewed intentions of mankind having found sinful wounding in our short lived existence. Our response when given freedom has always been to consume that which is lovely, merciful and by real measure, perfect. When to this reason and reality will we pay homage due? and time worthy of the living?

Precious Lord may your name be praised in all that I think, say and do. I am grateful for this inevitable conflict helping all determine the true nature of their occupation in this created world. May each of us make a clear decision between the light and dark in allotted time so that our power, privilege and gift is not rejected by non-compliance in misunderstanding and failed reason. May the innocent be protected and preserved under your Divine intervention. May I be steeped in experience of using the power given unto me to represent your Glorious Will as we wait for your return. Lord, it is clear to me that you love all so much that you want none be left behind. My heart goes out to you in prayer that they receive the adequate and sufficient prompting to awaken to the invitation you’ve given each of us.

It is not logical nor effective in any manner to look away from my own recuperative transition via your hand of sanctification. To exclude myself from working out my salvation with the focus and clarity of self-reflection and supplication your word demands is prideful at best. There would be no love in a man who believes himself beyond reproach, having determined himself someone completed against the evidence of remaining in this dimension. When God is done with each of us we will go to be with Him, not before or after but precisely at His perfect timing. That gives us rest as well as clarity in focus of humility before God’s changing hand. For we know equally that we shall not be removed until it is His Timing which gives us courage in the knowledge of our unresolved position in the dangers of humanity and chaos.

This is the stage, the mudpit, the valley of my work for you. Thank you for allowing me to step away from the capture of my own will and begin, remain in those works for which I was designed to prepare the fields and byways of this life for your return. There is no completion in self focused effort but only validation and the mark of temporary existence. I crave the eternal, those things that allow me to do lasting and vital works for your Kingdom, not my own. I am so sorry that I have learned slowly and adapted poorly to the level to which I am meant. Clearly the objective is to be transformed to someone who is clearly your Kin and in that effort I know it impossible to my own talents or abilities. Again, this joy to know that it is not dependent upon my own effort but in trust and patience waiting upon your molding of my new nature. Just as the seed is the house into which is programmed the coming flower or plant, I know this mortal man to be home of the same internal programming. Lord let me be completely at rest and content in being the home of your Holy Spirit as you live your life through my existence in this plane. For that is the only way I will achieve or embrace the impossible that only you alone may do.

All that I do matters but not as achievement or works to earn my entry to everlasting for that has already been achieved by you upon that Cross as I believed. No this life is so much more important than just working to be good enough or make a mark, this life is now about representation of the Great King of All and His plan for humanity. With this new life I focus upon the people not the things, the titles or the personal victories but upon the treasures of humanity I meet each day and offer the Love you gave me. This is the purpose of my making to meet, greet, share, love and edify each of those you love until they too find that moment of their decision and road forward. I pray to be that positive influence upon all that I meet. I ask forgiveness for the mistakes I continue and invariably shall make along the path you lead. And I beg you to fill me to exactly the level necessary to achieve your objectives for this life. Keep me close Father for when I venture wrong thinking and works ensue. My mistakes are regretted on for missed opportunities for your outcomes. Please let me get it right this time. In Jesus name, this is the hour of my intention

When time efficiently displays the presence of perfect opportunity, we have been blessed with the pregnant moment to make our own history. In my illusion I walk through life oblivious of my intentions, arguments, planning or preparation, thoroughly expecting to have brilliance and plenty drop from the sky before me, with a personal note to me attached. How frail is my constitution that I scrape barrel’s bottom seeking character to take some measure of commitment to God, Family and Country or Globe, yet will spend nearly 24 hours per day seeking the objects of my desire. What then is the label appropriate for my generation? Certainly not selfless, volunteer, careful about nothing in effort to protect and feed the innocent and vulnerable. It is clear Jesus was speaking of me when he said wicked.

All those falsely representing God have no love for those they deem unworthy. I must repeatedly hold back the bile in my throat when hearing how they view the people yet to find or make a decision for or against Christ. How may any disciple reach those of the children of disobedience without the Spirit sponsoring their own transformation from the hateful, judgmental human they claim has expired with Christ Jesus. I do not know who is saved. Surely, I look for the fruits of the Spirit, or Clouds without rain, but a clear indication of something askew is the absence of love. For Love is the first Premise of salvation. God’s Love for the World and our extension of the unconditional love for those yet to become part of His Adopted Family. To be in this time is to accept the need for extraordinary understanding, patience, long-suffering and gentility. Unfortunately, those things that we as humans are in scant supply. That is the demand for the Holy Spirit to accomplish these impossible tasks.

Everyone thinks they are the Church of Philadelphia, pious, on fire and true to God’s design for their lives, obedient to a fault. But that doesn’t mesh with the real human I know myself to be, reluctant, afraid, guaranteed selfish with God’s direction, chastisement and transforming sanctification. You mean to tell me that everyone who does a couple hours a week of focus upon God is On Fire for Christ. We must all either be totally self-deceiving, or we have such a limited scope of what it means to align ourselves in tandem with God’s Holy Spirit. Most I know barely hear God, barely study God’s Word and if I am any example, I know that I never pray enough, study enough, disciple enough and I certainly never give God either Worship He deserves or ALL OF ME. Taking this into account and performing that reckoning with God’s view versus my own, I am forced to recognize I am surely of that Wicked Generation.

What then is the Sign given to Jonas in Matthew 16:4 and since I am the one looking for signs and that is all I will be given shouldn’t I clearly know and understand that implication? I will arrive when my plans are consistently developed after focus upon God’s Plan, His Word, His Spirit, sprinkled with a bit of my own discernment using His Tools of that Holy Spirit. I couldn’t save myself, forgive myself, know God, Love Him, be cleansed, be righteous or be everlasting of my own accord. What oddity of transformation makes Chistian’s somehow become self-righteous in their own lack of piety following an induction in the Christian Hall of Fame? I don’t know how many people will be saved, I simply assume that God’s loves everyone so much He wants me to love them all. I know my own mind. I don’t know God’s, but I know that I can trust His and if left to lean on my own understanding that I will find fault with everyone else and reward myself with perfection. Thank goodness I am not in charge, I can barely convince myself of my own wickedness. Thank God He laid it our clearly before me or I would have never cried out for salvation. Going into Christianity forgetting how bad I was is a recipe for failure at Christianity.