Internal wrestling, the breed a sponsor to the inclinations beyond manifest made transparent. Indoctrination to limitation when none avow, is categorically exchange of power, potency and authority beyond the realm of reason. Trans Gaelic inspiration as the first strokes leading power to understanding and mistakes unattributed to man’s early function, but a pressing mindset pent on circumventing the Sovereign. Simple attraction or magnetism so dominates the hunger, passion and siren’s call that the breed was not born to do ill but was fed the lesion which became cancer’s mutant gene.

Riddles effort begets vain extrusion and projection upon all that may be coveted or held. Leaning into the wind man found restraint and wondered why its mastery escapes him, having been meant for dominance and subduing. What glory’s were given or withheld having been mindful of predetermined failure? It is implausible that having known the ready access to immortality’s fruit that wisdom would be primary fruit. The inclination to listen to alternate ideal is the seed of evil within man’s head and heart. The desire to find a way around the testing by answer, secret and riddle’s mastery.

What agony the pursuits of Thieves and Brigands? Portrayed as somehow heroic to convince men that the clever are to be envied. Stealing the joy from men who in their quest for short roads and paths born to mystery’s lose the long, steady wealth and accolade of roots sunken deeply. Reconcile this ignorance with eternity, for by nature their is not short cut to or through everlasting. The joy found in taking ones time having been given infinity in mastery. Why rush what is by nature Forever. What mystery or secret path is better than eternality? The short legs and long fingers of those discontent with Divine gifting, do not seek delivery to immortality but rather the absence of God’s control throughout the ages unending.

How then will service ever fill them? They seek to serve none but self and yet call gods those who will eventually consume them, as they are born of actualization through conquest and deception. A travesty of drawn lots and poorly handled question. For in forsaking truth they find nothing but a game of lies, some told others some bought as foundation to personal proofing. There have always been two paths. We know the length, difficulty and personal service in everlasting hope that leads eventually to King’s Reign in Glory. We believe that we have properly surmised the ending at broad entry, yet none have lived to tell of everlasting life born in Dominion’s Deception. For none have yet to reach that acceptable and common end, as it lay beyond millennium’s judgment in a King’s 2nd Coming. Should we not question evidence given by them who have not seen their everlasting nor may demonstrate dimension outside God’s Creation?

Looking at the Midnight Moon as the wind called out my name. Thought about all the things I’ve done for money, love and fame. Shaking off the cold of night moving closer to the fire. Mated owls above my head watched me from the Wire.

Now Wisdom it evades me and caution’s not my way. You said that you didn’t love me and there was nothing more to say. Leaving just seemed natural it’s what I’ve always done. I’ve spent my lifetime wandering as if I was on the run.

Nothing has been chasing me except this painful thought. Somehow the love between us had been my final shot. Alone by elimination they’d fallen one by one. Struck them down in infancy before the best parts had begun.

The freedom that rewards me was just another jail. With bars, bad food and loneliness the trophies of the trail. Sanctified by trials that appear to never end. Never got the changes as my broken heart refused to bend.

I may say that I’m so much better off being on that ridge alone, but its just another lie to tell myself as Winter chills me to the bone. Better off without her my smile would be bright, with the moon so full above me, my frown is darker than the night. Stop holding it together with glue made up of lies. Don’t you know in most love story’s the loner always cries.

In its perpetual form, grateful is a becoming. It is reflected in its momentary counterpart by a remembrance or acknowledgement to the thanks offered for a thing received. To become immortally thankful requires a power source other than the mortal box checking of human ritual. True grace in gratitude is living inseparable from the source of blessing. Like happiness everything encountered in man’s pursuit is reflection of that which IS immortal, everlasting, pure and unresolved. To be filled with Joy is to acknowledge in existence those things which remain beyond us, outside time that make us continuous in our reflection of God.

I am grateful for you. It requires nothing of you, demands no changes, no masks, no thespian attempts at appearing closer to a litany or list of requirements to receive attention or adoration. Akin to appreciating a burr or gadfly under ones posterior, prompting, agitating, demanding transformation, gratefulness acknowledges the potency and promise of living, not simply the blessing bestowed in comfort, prestige or power. What makes mortality fleeting but the time aspect associated with its conduct? It is time a construct outside ourselves that controls, permeates and commands certain performance, certain reflection upon the limits of temporary existence. In treating time as enemy we are defining our position in gratitude as temporal or everlasting.

When I show, demonstrate or emit a feeling and evidence of gratitude I live in communion with those things around me as necessary to a schema of which I am only partially privy. Appreciation and thankfulness of life requires that I meet it not in projection upon it rather conversely in its expectations of the man I have been created to become. I may clumsily clomp through life as trogladyte or troll or I may realize the complex relationship to all things as cast of grand demonstration of God’s infinite power to create and orchestrate every possible outcome to converge on the one of His Choosing. To admit my role in the temporary is to acknowledge my possible inclusion in the eternal. Without gratitude in this recognition I am destined to remain a mortal player in this dimensional cinema.

AM I or I AM is communitive. In declaring my inclusion in the Master’s outcomes I find the ticket to that showing. Viewing this breath of life as itself that for which to be continually prayerful. Gratitude is not a choice but a logical declaration of maturity. Realizing that there is no perpetual system without a thought which perceived that miraculous venture is the spark and kindling of Wisdom’s first arrival. We are the product of a thought and then the merciless will to launch its birth in a reality completely dependent upon the mind which first perceived in possibility. Acknowledging that mind and our union within it is the same as taking my next breath. We are inseparable for we are.

May this day never end in its capacity to demonstrate you inclusion in everlasting. May God’s Joy be your eternal Strength and may you begin to become that which surpasses the limiting hands of time. May its ticking become a cadence and the music of your casting in Life without end. In Jesus’ Name before Alpha and beyond Omega.

In this transformative process there are several stages. We must see the components of the wound or disfigurement to be made new, we must then choose to truthfully submit that acknowledgement before the Master Potter and then we must walk thoroughly faithful that those changes/reformations will come to pass in perfect timing. Timing not born of self or expectation but the Promise of continuous elements to perfect us over time.

Unfortunately the chemical, emotional, spiritual catalyst necessary to this Process is painful, prolonged and tedious when faced with resistance, lack of joy or continued resistance to find joy in the testing, compression, pressure and heat required to bring about our transformation. We are the mettle of Humanity and to remove the lesser components, elements and molecules of what we were requires heat and pressure to liquefy our minerals that the dross may rise and be removed from the purified person.

We don’t like being super heated but we want the result of this process. This is “Man’s Rub”, that we must subject ourselves to the Master’s refining process in order to achieve objectives, destinations and transformation not available in our own power and authority. People do not wish to “Enjoy the Pain” seeing it necessary but wish to find, as human’s will the easy route to perfection. This process is expressly unfavorable to them who wish to fulfill their sensory desire of sin and is therefore avoided by most, eschewed by those deceived and spoken foul by those loving their sin over God.

Whatever you choose you will be choosing one of the options given to man by God. You may believe that you choosing your own road of service and sin allows you to escape God when in fact it commits to His Projected end in Judgment, separation and Pain. This process when embraced is the sole path to fulfillment in this life and universe. God wants to prepare us for the Next iteration of Creation which may only be reached by surrender to His path and Process. So hold on and find joy in the midst of the Seven Fold Crucible of this World as it clearly sets your sights beyond the possibility and elements of this Life. Instead focusing on the unseen Life in the New World to come.

I was honest with you in my humanity, kneeling before God’s Throne in humility. I had no adequate answer for you but to say that when leading men and women I must deny myself to wear God’s confidence to overcome fear in applying myself to God’s outcomes. It seemed an odd thing to you that a Man of God would put a mask on his own emotion, thought or knowledge in order to become that which God needs at a time or throughout a campaign. I ask you what relevance is my confidence or inadequacy in self when completing tasks beyond my own ability, maturity, certainty, power or provision?

Men of war deny themselves daily in order to fulfill the tasks of war, relying upon a courage to work within the fear or exhaustion and hopelessness of the moment to break through in victory prevailing simply because they must. For there is always fear, inadequacy and dread. It is not the existence of these things within a man’s heart that determines his success but what he does in spite of the existence of his own fear or the hopelessness of circumstantial evidence. In fact, without those catalysts what victory may a man count if not but overcoming the inevitable frailty of humanity to rise to impossibility’s achievement?

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 1st Corinthians 1:27 Reflecting upon scripture my answer is consistent with God’s Word. It is not through the established in boldness that God’s demonstrates His Glory but through the unsure, puny and foolish. For if bold men do confident things then what Glory does it bring God? When a weak man or poor woman with a lisp and human frailties does something powerful then people take notice. When ineloquent men of low stature and means move mountains then societies awaken. Every hero of the Bible took full faith and surety in God to complete their works of Power. It was in denying their own inadequacies that they reached the pinnacle of their faith, For in self reliance what miracles may a man ever work?

You look to me as bastion of confidence, wisdom and goodness from which to derive your own courage or confidence. I say to you that you are looking for the wrong aspects of a man to find that which you seek. I offer you my humility, my inadequacy and my fear and you would have me deny this absolute certainty of my own ineptitude before God. That is the mask of which I refer. You do not want the man that I am to stand before you, you want the absolute certainty in God to complete the impossible works and that requires that I may never share the humility, fear and brokenness which are the true hero before the throne of God. Is it an inadequate and partial expectation upon Truth that you seek for both are real and necessary?

To know me as a man you must see the things of a man in my acceptance of my foolishness, Weakness or ineptitude as proof of my kinship to Sovereignty. For it is the absolute realization of the inadequate mortality that you will find an evidential adherence and dependence upon God’s Holy Spirit to prevail in guidance and victory’s provision. It was not Moses that parted the Red Sea But God, not David who slew Goliath but God, not Elijah who brought Holy Fire upon the Priest’s of Ba al but God. Yes God uses me to accomplish the impossible, but to be used as Tool in His Glorious Hands demands submission not prowess. I believe myself capable of the those things achievable solely in His deliverance, timing and wonder.

So you ask if I wear a mask when I am preaching, teaching, evangelizing or doing the impossible through Christ who strengthens me. Well No and yet Yes. For I must put off the Man to see those things which may be done only through denying that man and stepping out of God’s Way. I am there, I am fearful, yet full of promise. I am inadequate yet more than capable. I am humbled and aware of my own mortality, yet eternal in the filling of God’s Holy Spirit and the power to do whatever He commands. Am I not me when rising to those heights, I will leave it to you decide for it is your perception which truly governs this interrogatory.

I ask do you want to see my true emotions of fear and doubt or do you wish to hear the powerful, confident, hopefully-fearless man fully assured and reliant upon God’s Promises and certainty in victory? You came to see Christ then you must first assume and understand that He uses the weak to do the impossible. So look upon me in that regard inexpectant of a boorish man filled with vanity and self reliance, but in the humility and understanding that I am only powerful when I have first realized that I can do nothing without Him. Yes, I must deny myself to be useful to God. I am not powerful and useful to Him because I lack fear or clarity in mortality, but because I view myself not by these things but by the Holy Spirit that wields me. My identity is in Christ Jesus not in the man susceptible to the condemnation of His enemies. I am no longer the flesh but the Spirit of Kingdom’s Coming.

Thank you for Love or for your Hate, for both are demonstration that you have heard God’s Word through me and made a decision. That decision is the greatest gift we have been given by God to assert our free will in choosing that which we believe, that to which we will dedicate our works of this life. To those who Love thank you Brothers and Sisters for obeying God’s Command upon us to be unified in His Glory by that Love. To those who hate, thank you for acknowledging my association with God in that emotional contempt. I am not sorry for delivering to you the Conviction of the Holy Spirit causing you to make the decision that this life God gave us requires. I love you regardless of your position for my vain attempts at glory, adoration or fame are irrelevant and frankly detriments to the work I have been anointed to perform.

This life is full of catalyst, impetus and pain all forcing us into that pregnant environment propagating choice. We may attempt to escape that prompting to avoid the choice but will find that the obstacles presented in avoidance are actually greater catalyst to that same eventuality. Those seeking escape I get it, as I was pent upon that futile attempt for most of my youth and early adult life. The reality of my crossing into Christian faith was born in the fires of my avatar escape attempts. Praise God I was given the Opporunity to grow and respond to His call upon my heart, that He was faithful, Long-Suffering and patient in His pursuit that I was given Time to find the Truth in my own understanding. An Understanding that frankly when leaned upon led me to the trials and prompting to make the decision found only in acknowledgement of His hand of Creation.

There is no time nor is there any reason that I should hold you in contempt or argument for having chosen the direction you see is right for you. Love requires and demands that when offered it is offered to the person as they stand before me, not to an imaginary person that I hope to usher into existence. For that is not love but attention or adoration of a thing. You are loved and that means who you are right now, especially if you are the person who hates me for the wrong reasons or the person who Loves me for the Right Ones. I am not separate from you in your derision but tied to you in the same journey through this world to either accept of deny Christ. I will not lessen the importance of your walk by asserting that mine is of greater importance, for that lacks truth and compassion, two things that are demanded of me by God.

Walk your road whether with God or the Fallen for that is the Will of God that you make a choice. That freedom also comes with the reality that there will be witnesses for both sides of that faithful choosing. I pray that my witness leads you to investigate and ask God for revelation and insight. May His discernment guide you to the loving Care and inclusion of His Saving Grace. May I never give you example or reason to walk away from that Wonderful Gift. I pray for you will all my strength to find Redemption through Christ and in so doing become my Brother or Sister in the Adoption of the Kingdom of God. However, if you choose otherwise I understand

In the world’s evidence I’ve never seen the shade. Drawn about the Eye’s of Man to guard promises we made. Sanctioned by the saddened few so ripened for the call. Overjoyed by happenstance and the wonder of it all. Softened by a patchwork quilt the pain we never felt. Dance against the tell and wink at the cards I’ve just been dealt. First to fable first to fool. Seldom useful as God’s Good Tool.

Intertwined with my own mesh in suicide and sadness not grain but chaff to thresh. Clarity and charity encumbrance and true peace, love that never waivers and blessings that never cease. Increase in every aspect that maturity demands built upon the unmoving Rock not on shifting sands. Leave it where you found it but never do forget the absence of true sounding will be the last regret. Significance in fashion and passion seldom seen Worship God, Him only no angel, Saint or Queen.

Snookered by the Barker, the Trainer and the Clown, too soon to look for Maker as the Big Top must come down. Threatened by the banker, the taxman and the crook and host of gnarly characters with names not written in the Book. Prowess and shaded promise in all that we believed we had to search for character for courage was relieved. True elation of the table as the bargain had broken down the smiles we expected has since been turned to frown.

Interlocutor driving madly with no restraint of Grace and illuminated Pumpkin with true rage upon its face. The darkness unforgiving the race too close to call we’re way to late for Summer and well within the Fall. Damage and indifference a song and sweet remorse the Barber and the Baker placed it all upon our Horse. Cotton Candy and So Savory were headed neck and neck until the random kitten had taken to the course. Squared Circles unforgiving to all with naught but speed, collision and gymnastics of stallion man and steed.

Shocked to see the show expand surprised by the demand. So clear to see propensity all not hard to understand. Effected by the winds of change we seek to see remorse, to frequently adhere to norm seeking no divorce. Harm strung in full harmony or and lyrically confused, leaving all the trump cards down remembering which I’ve used. To daylight I say hoorah while darkness I abhor all the while searching for some style looking basically amused. Frequently in odd measure a half and an eighth apart, three quarters short of midnight stuffed by ala cart.

Halted by the fragility before me. Looming at the edge of crevasse knowing all my limitations and its veracious appetite seeking collection that which is precious and essential. Why does one wish capture of floating butterfly? Perception of all that must be real because of appearance is failing. Concrete is manifestation of belief and faith the actions taken upon its establishment within mind, heart and spirit. The life behind left tenuous in revelation ahead lay venture by nature yet known.

What promise defends flippant pursuit of vain controls or poorly measured clutching? Letting Love form or fizzle is the path to perpetuity. When we delight in our own constructs and control sets we’re most often left with a putrid bag of folly. Leave me be said the sand to the flea but neither could escape into personal paradise. I am the brigand who steals, kills and destroys all that is worthy of pursuit. Lain fresh the scars of history’s wounding. Close but never forgotten.

Service does not seek its own intention nor provide harm where good may be offered and accepted. What is the pure heart that may be seen even at great distance in short timing? If the truths are not self evident then am I to yammer endlessly in hope of their transformation? What purpose is served in my own unaccepted counsel or the attempt as resolution in the impossible tasking? How tortured the unforgiveness of men who would burden themselves procedurally to mimic the world’s presentation of strength and captive reason? What is the meaning of Freedom? Does it transcend or waiver dependent upon participant or subjective definition?

We are those born free to accept eternal relief. Hunting aspiration or golden cup the squandered opportunity of this life. Gold or glittery hope born of possession with expected contentment is the greatest lie sold all powerful young men. Chasing abandon, seeking release and departure from Sovereign Grace and direction the pathway to never achieving either. Programmed with questions seeking our creation we must inevitably find that origin in a Loving Dad or in hopeless untethered wanderings that may never be fulfilled in purpose or destination. Seek Home and Find it. Seek Glory and find only the adoration and enamored moaning of momentary delight.

Mystery begets purpose and wisdom whispers caution at deep trench or fallen bridge. They that continue full throated shouting the folly of greater understanding shall seek but never find, hope but never taste peace. There is promise in the engines of humanity, found in the creative design of our collective capacity to pause, reflect and wait. Not every venture is achieved in rushed pursuit and unmitigated movement. The wait is great and patience greater still for them who have gained wisdom and those determined to follow His Will.

Having reached the firmament of Me, it is no longer efficacious to continue the use of a toolset forever bound to this mortal plane. Disgusted often by my shortcomings that their usefulness in enemy assault or attempts at destabilization are now laughable. These vain talents and musings smell of fruit too ripened having remained on branch beyond harvest. Though I have sympathy and compassion for the tears that are much too frequent in humanity, my heart craves the joy of everlasting and the hope of sitting with those treasures firmly sequestered awaiting my arrival.

I am so sorry for leaving you in the lurch. The responsibility though firmly residing in my reflective pool may be looked upon in regret and forgiveness. These days are now short and the hearts that quicken cold must find a path other than through interaction. For this is the time of the Long, Patient Breath. Numbered and few though the count escapes me their hiss tells me that time is obedient in its unwinding. The countdown awaits those who will hear its ticking march toward the gathering of all things made by, for and through Him for Him to be presented Holy, Righteous and True for His Review.

There are so many thing for which I had intention and expectation only to find the coin too few, the memory too short and the cable insufficient. Truth is what happened not what I meant to do. For many of those vows or promise I made, we humbly see an end rarely matching the beginning. Unless abandoned to hope, promise and Power beyond my own making. For it does not matter what I set to do or meant to achieve but that which I obeyed and was shown through to its completion.

These are the days of fulfillment, force and action. Time to wave our hands vigorously seeking to find our place in trial, work and harvest. Send me Lord should be the first word’s from our mouths, proceeded by prayers of hope to reach the pinnacle of individual crafting. There is more than enough ground left to cover that may only be traversed in the humility and surrender of a life in exchange for the deliverance and blessings reserved. We are not of this world but the next, the heavenly realm come to Earth remade in which we may work and dwell with God. Now is the time of the ground work preparing Kingdom’s arrival and great glory, rejoicing and worship of the King. In Jesus Name I live for Him for He died for me.