You demand I trust yet give me facts, behavior and indications that I should be extremely suspicious of your intentions. Repeatedly, you ignore go around or continue to encroach upon the healthy boundaries in my life and balk when reminded of the ignored social signals you were sent along the path. As if practicing beginner’s hypnosis you rebuke me for being self-protective even though everything inside me tells me to walk cautious. Yet, after all of this when I have never failed to express clearly these apprehensions you continue to want from me complete access, unconditional care and love and claim I am somehow less than friendly in dodging our conversations. What may be said to someone with this track record except, “You refuse to listen and until you do nothing on my part will change except the distance between us”.

The newest tactic is the emergency appeal. Everything has suddenly become an emergency. I must ignore the previous position I have taken and suddenly devote all my time, love, care and attention to resolving your most pressing emotional crisis or disaster. The uncanny thing is all of your issues are identical. You taking a position you viewed as 100% correct because it was your thinking have violated someone else’s rules or social norms and suddenly are confronted with the fact that another person has determined they wish to limit interaction. You continue to expect some apology from this new person and never once see the repetitive nature of your conundrum. In fact with myself it is always me who must apologize in order to continue a relationship, but I must admit this is at best tiresome.

The largest part of the dilemma is that if you would let go of expectation of things progressing, YOUR WAY providing results that allow you the position of control in every relationship you actually would have some pretty good friendships. Here’s the rub, I love you, appreciate you, but cannot allow our relationship to follow your rules of engagement and will even step out of contact to make that clearly understood. So you have some choices to make. Either have it your way and lose a friend you obviously want and I lose the benefit of someone with a good heart or give up your standard operating procedure and let things progress naturally and see what happens. I may be something that turns out to be the best friendship in your life. Would you rather strangle it right now and be assured of ending it or give way to natural progression and prayer and see what occurs.

I pray that you give your fear of it turning against you over to God. The tighter controls you employ to have it go your way the more quickly things dissolve into a battle of wills where you end up losing out. I pray that you take my advice and let people be who they are and let them know you want them in your life, giving them the power to takes things to the next level because your way ends up in identical crisis at which point your contact me with an emergency.