Big sausage raindrops Tears, threatening the Earth as they landed sending shock waves across the lake of my interrupt. Heaving, leaning sideways to see the clock hands remembering that time is relevant even in the height of my all out emotional savagery.  A song played that I could barely recall and the words matched the heartbreak she gave me as she walked down those broad windswept stairs into memory. What better to remember the complete loss of control or the gift of not having any control over the vexing cramps in my face and side as the world had turned to Earthquake?

Farming out reason for a new ticket to abandon of emotional palsy. Imagining the permanency of upset I rolled and tried to rise to one knee, but even my joints had befallen heartache’s plunder. Pitching forward to some frail attempt at yoga pose, forehead to formica and faintail skyward I ceased feeling pain as it all shut down. Sunday morning I awoke my nose two inches from kitchen table, wondering why the lights being on didn’t matter then realizing the sunrise threatened memory of yesterday’s loss. Wondering into the disarray of recall attempting to piece together some adequate understanding of the disruption to my universe. She had gone and now it was time to face it, tears, sagging chin, inadequate reserve but the remainder of a tall tale told that men do not really need women. I held to that lie with all my strength and purpose for it was the only island available for mooring upon the seven seas of abandonment.  I vowed with a wry smile of quintessential joy to be happy catching fish and eating coconuts for eternity.

Then came the phone call, if I had seen the bottom I now found the floor was just an illusion for support keeping me from the bottomless pit into which I now descended. It was her Sister, she had just left the hospital to tell me of the accident. What accident I said and then my descent began, freefall, no hope, endless despair as she had not only left me in this world but now resided in the next.