Individual importance. I search the retinue of inventions, manuscripts, ideas, songs and mystery and found nothing remaining to give particular brilliance to my passage. All had been played, said, tested, discovered or renewed, leaving me feeling at first unwanted, then useless, then relieved. For if nothing need be invented, the pressure of my success has been eternally alleviated. My excuse complete I return to doing and producing absolutely nothing. In fact, I will do the world a grand service and consume as much as I may to provide purpose of tomorrow human’s. They will now have a purpose of re-provision that which I have turned to carbon in my passing.

What is God’s call but another responsibility from under which excuse provides me freedom? For I am no pious believer, looking down on a cadre of forgotten or “lost” men offering them my version of salvation when they appear entirely content in their self devised predicament.  Leave that the better men than I men of sacrifice, commitment and worthiness, who can convince themselves in their self importance that they actually do hear the voice of God, calling, calling, directing them to do that which is beyond our own capability and casting. No, God did not mean me when he laid out these edicts to be followed by all for we have already established I have no purpose. In fact, since everything has been done, that means that all this filling “heaven” work has already been conducted and certainly does not need a religiously handicapped man like myself inserting himself into the fine oiled machinery of salvation.

Nope, Dad was right and Mom even more so, never did amount to much, never had much and thus will have little regret when little results in well, little results. This big old fight for the world and taking care of people while building things and collecting memories while storing away treasures that is for the other guy. I prefer to vapidity, the emptiness of eternal hope, hope that someone will give me a sandwich or two to fill that emptiness in my vast resolve. Look, the struggle was too much and you don’t want me being a victim of LTSD do you, another diagnosed casualty of Life Traumatic Stress Disorder do you? I mean you already provide for all of my needs according to somebody else’s taxes, why have to owe me something else?

Well, I prefer to be the new thing under the Sun; the man who is so self-actualized that he need create nothing, do nothing, be nothing or declare nothing for it has all been fulfilled. In fact I have reached self enlightenment and you all are now free from the pressures of a world projection academy and the expectations it has placed upon man for thousands of years. No no purpose for me. No God prescribed nonsense about my tools, talents and assets being used for some Divine Purpose outside my own temporal comprehension. No I will leave that the deep Brothers and Sisters to contemplate. Let them have fates I am fated to wonder around finding someone else’s business to mind. I am mumbling the mantra of my own contentment, it goes yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. Like I said Nothing new to see here.

But wait you say this schtick fulfills you and gives you new courage to face the day. Well, then I am happy being your savior. What do you need and how can I quickly fill your head with a bunch of motivational words on how to rev up and out to get this or that? What you need peace. Peace I got, two words, “Don’t fight”.  There’s peace easy peasy.  You too have been struggling against a burden created by the society you never planned to be a part of anyway. Well, change the rules. I mean that is what they did right? Maybe I can utilize this new found celebrity to write the book that will change you life and call it “Everything about Nothing” by me and some other guy who actually does the writing and editing so I can collect on the outcomes. I don’t know folks sounds promising. I think maybe there is space under this sun for my own little version of paradise.