They warned me, cajoled and even punished for the simple sin of being who God made me. They promised no hope of acceptance, style or peace without changing the range, perspective and verbiage attendant to their published nightmare. I would not dream in the color of their adoration. So, I became them, better than them, perfected, sharpened, learned and skilled in the tendencies, mannerism and ice cold dispassionate, tortuous intent leaving them breathless in my capacity to over achieve.  Beware the man who learns the craft through skills at mastery taught by powerful men of potent ambition and veracious hunger. The appetites of such a man will not soon be slendered.

In this process of becoming the convenient, package, gaining entry into the privy of their polished places, my love was forgotten replaced by wanton attention and accolade, the rewards of lighted man. You see men who love children, the wounded and the impoverished are not adored in the halls of power. They are consumed, utilized and treasured for their camouflage and perhaps even admired for their desire to fit, wanting, craving acceptance to the point where all that was brilliant is lost to the dull strapping of desert winds. In rage, at the machinery, at the willing ambition and coldness of men, I punished them as they had been present in all those periods where the rich, glorious gifts of God’s Crafting were stripped, diminished, stolen and placed in the dust bin of personal memory.

Why then rebirth? For God pursues those whom He loves, never relenting in a quest that we remember our making.  For this man to find a forgiving in the midst of endless, calamity and horrific hurt was anathema to worldly wishes.  Giving gladly the keys, sharpened whit and ego powered perfection of those rewarded with Gold and Glitter, I found the true floor concealed beneath formica.  He had not left, a much more the blessing, He had prepared and tended fires that would lead to eternal flames of sealing and significance. A man to find the man within the man, shrouded for human approval. Oh, this is a thing that will never movies make but history and dreams, alas this is the stuff of wonder. To find within ourselves a man we thought lost to the achievements and blunders of a wondering through the worldly insignificant rewards of a midst filled life. Decrying the lies told, the dreams lost, the words offered as ill measure and healing for the incredible loss of God’s Will and Perspective. This at last was the arrival at the doorway to the vault of true measure, pleasure, treasure and finesse. To live the Life that God had assigned, however late in the day, it still had come.

Now to what, When, where or how, matters little reflected in the Light of Why? This dream is the dream of eternity and ages, not a transformation but an awakening of true mettle within the plastic veneer of global whitewash. This is the measure of this man, to live the walk of a prophet, priest, teacher, evangelist, servant, disciple and friend to the King who would have all men prepared for Freedom’s understanding and the reward found only in the twinkling and glassy seas at the Foot of Almighty’s Throne. Talk is cheap but conversation with God will set the world in order or reduce it to dust at it topples from false foundation. In my case things are set right, beyond right, to a place unreachable by human means. The paradise of forgiven fools much better than Fool’s Paradise achieved for a fortnight in God’s economy and temporal reference.

This is the real, that was the false, Read it and comment if you must but paltry words have no authority when Truth is the measure of our Faith.  In Jesus’ Holy Name, I am what He wants me to be, finally.