I coughed not because the water burnt my nose, I had just made the mistake of keeping my mouth open so long that I swallowed way too much. Taking every precaution to point my toes downstream, I arched my back to avoid my rear end crashing into any sizeable rocks jutting from the bottom of the river. I crossed my hands over my chest pulling down on the life jacket as I approach another chute, hoping to remain aloft and escape the mounting pressures threatening to either drag me down or catch me in the currents smashing vortex. I thought to myself that it had been so long traveling the rapids that I could no longer say I was trapped within them for this appeared my normal road. For a moment I wished upon a boat or some floating debris, but dismissed that my job to focus upon the Lord.

Running from room to room, choked with gasses and black smoke smelling of plastic and insulation. I kept low to the ground trying to find some good air and the wet cloth across my mouth had long since gone dry. My task was to escape this inferno that used to be called my castle, giving not even a nanosecond’s concern to my belongings, my perspective matured to circumstance. The jack Russell Terrier tucked in my armpit, dedicated to making it out with me, I wondered if he truly knew how desperate our situation? I coughed in an attempt to expel whatever had gotten into my lungs, only to inhale something akin to the air on fire. I had made it to the second floor but the doors were all aflame and the windows belching black smoke too think to venture. I knew somehow that God would provide a way, I knew that it had better be in the next minute of two, cause this house was going to collapse. I giggled remembering the rapids and prayed desperately for that trial instead of this current one.

Lying there before the love of a life time, my mate wedded until death, only now I fully understood the meaning of those words. Her breathing raspy and slow, but I could still hear it above the beeps and thrums of the machinery telling us she was still alive. Her hair all but gone, wisps remaining clung to her cheek, as a symbol of their wish to cling to this life. My weeping was over for now, and my stomach ached from the convulsion of uncontrolled weariness and prayer through giant tears. I couldn’t remember eating last and wondered why my mouth was so dry. It is funny how the normal things fall away when perspective sets us firmly upon the path of what truly matters. I looked a mess but didn’t give a moment’s concern to hygiene or appearance for this moment, this precious moment at her side is all that mattered. I focused upon the Lord knowing how much he loved her, so much more than me and remembered how he brought me through the flames, praying with all my heart that time would turn back to that event so that I could meet her all over again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her chest rise and a smile graced her face just before she breathed for the last.  At that moment we were both seeing him and I smiled back at her as the tears once again began falling on my frozen cheek.