Prayed for you, especially when the wicked drive in your heart forced you to slander her good name, bring suit against a good king and machinate in the dark about how to shed their innocence.  Been kind to you as I wiped the spit from my cheek, thanking you for showing me what it means to love in spite of hate.  Spent time, asking the Lord to step in and break the fallow ground around your heart as you laughed at their dilemma.  Been truly concerned for your apparent journey into hell and the opportunity to help you avoid that eventuality in Christ.

There are many things for which I am ashamed, the greatest of which are the times when I showed you me instead of showing you Him.  See we both live here.  The difficulty is that my flesh has the audacity to step in at all the wrong times and take back control of this life precisely at the times when Christ could demonstrate His love or you and this world.  I continue to be found out for the frail, messed up, insecure, easily angered man from whom I was transformed by God.  Never mind this new creature feels so much better and does the things that the Lord intended, there is a responsibility to comprehend and attend to the direction in my heart.  Lord, my breaths come in wave as I realize how much I need your forgiveness for the man I have not yet become.  Please be with me that I might some day do the things you are praying for me to master.  Thank you for the opportunities that you’ve provided to see the truth of my own behaviors, without that mirror I certainly would be doomed to repeat these issues perpetually.

Lord they are wicked and I know that means they will be having a date with you, where in fairness of judgment you reward their evil with appropriate punishment.  But that is not my cause, business or concern.  I was sent here to warn them and tell them the good news of Christ that they might turn from their wicked ways and be saved, cleansed and renewed.  How come I always want to do your job and neglect my own?  Father, I see that you love them and continue to call them to answer the call of grace, upon that Truth I will make my stand.  For if you continue to call them to repentance then hope remains that some will accept that offer and step away from the waiting abyss.  Let me continue in the logic and belief of that possibility and though my heart or mind tells me to war with them, castigate them or pronounce them beyond hope that the fact that we are still here directly contradicts those ideas.  Let me be free of regret when I sit on that bench at your side and forget what I should have done, remembering only what was done good and faithfully.  Your Servant.  Praise You.  In Jesus’ Name.