I followed with all my heart hoping that I pleased you and that others followed my lead.  I answered a call and found my way to the skinny path, hoping that my Family, Friends, Colleagues or questioners would find the journey rewarding.  I gave away my stuff and served your children because it was a pleasure to let them know how much You love them and how much I felt honored to be their Brother.  I followed You and truly thought that they would do the same, especially when I told them how much joy you’ve brought to my previously meager history.  I thought that it was my job to be a shining example of hope to all and help them get over their pains with love and caution, kindness and encouragement, but all these things that I have done were those things of my work in progress.

It is You who saves, not me.  It is You who leads not me.  It is You who sites examples, set up models or indicates direction, again not something within my purview.  My Words were poor example, my actions paltry reminder and my thoughts immediately and easily dismissed. It is not me to whom they look for example, understanding or direction, it is to you.  It is not to my words that they respond or meditate for wisdom and hope, but to every Word that proceeds from Your Mouth.  When did I lose track and begin to believe that somehow I was making any difference.  It is only through me as vehicle through which any of Your requirements are met or delivered.  I have always been happy being a pair of needle nosed pliers, how come I somehow ended up trying to be wrench?

Father, take from this burden of being sufficient through my own understanding, works or willingness.  I am here as conduit, that’s it, that’s all of it and frankly that is more than enough for me.  Lord don’t ever let me get ahead of you again.  I know that I typically have a tendency to lag behind that is why I have done so poorly in this new self appointed position of leader.  Don’t let me be me when I need to do nothing other than simply and steadily exalt You.

You know me and that is probably my only hopeful excuse.  But being oneself is not acceptable reason for taking on tasks intended for the King alone.  Forgive me.  In Jesus’ Name