We have all suffered defeat.  We all know the socially terrifying aspects of losing when all the chips are on the line.  All of us have tasted the dirt and mud flung in our faces as we’re being bested by those faster, smarter, quicker, more crafty or talented.  Perhaps there are those of us who have tasted this acidic cocktail more frequent than most, but none of us has ever given up.  Why?  What purpose would it serve for a man or woman to go through life, losing time and again, defined by the feelings of remorse, depression and contempt?  Why do we fight on, especially if this life is all that a man is given and then the recycling?  If there is no other purpose than simply completed the prescribed range of time, for what then is this life meant?

Oh, you say purpose.  Please expound.  You mean I could have a specific and isolated meaning programmed or attached to my life that would make all the losing some how worth the agony?  Pray tell what purpose and where do I get one?  Oh the aliens gave you a purpose when they seeded the ooze with the pro-creation elements.  Or did that purpose arise as a small chimp becoming man taught to you by the older chimps who began to see a reason beyond the price of failure?  What then of the dinosaurs purpose, some scientist would probably say that their death was a necessary component of our success.  Then who determined that purpose in destruction?  If we are just accidents of an explosive universal components throughout this one cumulative now expansive cosmos, how is it even remotely likely that I would be accidentally assigned a purpose that surpassed the pain of failure?

I don’t mean to poo poo anybody’s ideas that construct their foundation, but is that all you got?  The only reason I continue on past and beyond each failure is because of hope that someday all the failures will add up to one giant success that will bring reason to my singular purpose.  Isn’t that why we look to AI for singularity, not because they will become simply “self-aware” but they will ascribe purpose to their lives and thus be defined as “living”.  What is a life without purpose?  Is it a life or just facsimile?  None of us likes failure, none of wants to be bested, overcome, outdone or lose the game, especially the game for which we have a love or desired outcome.  However, losing an attempt is not losing the game and in life the game is completing the process, living the life, finishing.  The end makes all the bad points good in some way.  Oh, you believe this is the end of your existence, well then you should have them throw you a party at your passing so that you can leave this life with a bang.  For those who find a life without purpose too simple to swallow, I give you the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and known by God for a specific purpose, one which he assigned to you alone.  It makes all the losses somehow dim and make sense, because they lead up to a great big eternal win.  That I can I believe.  In Jesus Name

Father, my praise for you is larger than I may contain it threatens to tear the packaging and escape.  Give me words, songs, dance and works consistent with the overwhelming joy and awe I have for You.  My knees are a comfortable place in Your presence, for that humility is not an offering but something You deserve.  I am a poor vehicle for describing Glory.  Give me sayings beyond my talent, harmonies reserved for the tenants of heaven.  I would sing to my Family of glimpses beyond the limitations of humanity, providing light and hope that there is indeed something past simple existence.  I would see the joy in their hearts kindled by a knowledge of Your indescribable Sovereignty.

What then am I a man seeking a position beyond his station, content with his place in this world but attempting to describe things beyond current understanding?  What is that state where I cry out to Your Spirit for the Way?  Put my songs to voice, a voice that is pure enough to gain audience to a throne that supports the Creator of all things.  I know you love me Lord but I am an unclean thing, forgiven yes, but still suffering from the realization of my internal filth.  Thank you for letting me sit here at Your feet today, I promise I have been listening, but now I wish to express my love for you in a way beyond myself.  May I escape me for a moment and sing a new song for my King?

My works are poor artifice for the overwhelming joy You’ve given me.  My obedience simply love for you expressed in understanding that You made me specifically for the edification of Your Kingdom.  If I had a drum I play for you, but this voice is all that I have and I pray that it finds favor in Your counsel today.  Perhaps these tears of joy will make a song as they strike the crystal sea before Your throne?  My words fail but my heart feels something for my words are insufficient in expression.  Perhaps you will bless me with the method to let people hear that mirth?  I am overjoyed in You.  In the Mighty Name of Jesus.

Is the enemy right when he or his minions remind me of my mistakes, my trespasses, my pledges or my covets?  Of course, he is right, I hurt people in my sin.  That is not the entire story but it is part of the story.  My soul cries out to God in repentance for my sin.  Yes I am forgiven by Christ’s work upon the cross and my faith in what he did as the perfect sacrifice, but there may still be some work left in going to those I’ve hurt in reparation.  You see, I sinned against God and He has forgiven me, but where I’ve sinned against others, they may not have yet come to that point.  Do I forget them or approach when forgiveness may be offered?

I am an awful man, still.  Even after the Lord has begun my sanctification, I remain a wicked man, full of evil thoughts.  Maybe they don’t become action, because the Lord has transformed me into someone other than I was, but I still have the thoughts and am forced to capture them before they become concrete action in reality.  My behavior is without excuse for I know what God wants me to do and yet I continue to do otherwise.  Yes, I agree with Paul that it is the sinful flesh that wants to sin even though I know what is right and attempt to avoid that action.  Have we yet to gather that this thing God wants of us is impossible for us.  We cannot be good in and of ourselves.  We need God’s Holy Spirit to make the changes of which we are incapable.  In fact, I know without a doubt that I will never reach the point He is trying to get me to will not happen in this lifetime, but at the end of it, for this is the proving ground.

I am not a Christian by action but by faith.  My faith in the Lord’s righteousness, understanding my lack therein.  I know what I am doing wrong and thus am directly and explicitly disobedient to God’s direction and intention for my life.  You can monkey with the Greek or the Hebrew and somehow transform the impact or implication of disobedience, but it is after all still an inexcusable willingness to place my will and desired behavior above God’s direction and expectation.  Yes, I am forgiven, but without excuse, for I have studied the Word and know God’s direction for my life.  I can seek a method, path, direction or escape from God’s guidance, but it always leads to the same place, excruciating separation from God.  That is how I know hell is not for me, because even if it were a comfortable place of peace and quiet, it would be unbearable without God.  With Him in this life and the next, without excuse, forgiven, washed clean and ready for the next test.  Glorious days ahead.  In Jesus’ Name.

If I be a man of God then let fire come down from heaven and consume you.  Not the fire that Elijah called upon the captain of the fifty and his men but the fire of the Holy Spirit to baptize you with the refreshing fire of consuming faith.  Hearts are cold or worse even warm, flaccid, placid or indifferent to the things of God.  They smile at me then yell at them all in the same brief moments.  “I don’t care” is their mantra, believing themselves the center of this or any universe, unwilling to listen, see the world from another perspective or totally commit to anything but their own satisfaction.

Lord, I see that time is short.  Not because that is what I want for it most certainly is, but rather indicated by the ripe fields and approaching storms.  We were told that we would know by the circumstances of the season and that exact time is upon us.  Lord it doesn’t matter to me except that they aren’t ready and I weep tears of remorse for those yet forgiven.  Even believers Lord have forgotten the path, chosen the broad boulevard and begun to wish and hope upon gods of wood, metal and paper.  I know that my sympathy for them is not enough I must take to my knees in prayer for their deliverance , knowing from whence salvation comes.

I accept Father my own peculiarity.  It is understandable believing in a God who said that they would hate me for belonging to you.  Your servant I am willingly, fervently, permanently.  Father show me the way to potency for your intent.  Let me call down your Holy Fire to cleanse, bless and baptize to alight the hearts of men for the coming Kingdom.  Let them escape tribulation by committing their hearts to you in faith and hope of your soon return.  Bless your Holy Name.  May it be yelled, spoken, whispered, hollered and cherished by untold millions this very moment seeking and finding relief in their petition.  It is wonderful to be odd for I know what that means.  I am so grateful for your Love.  In Jesus’ Name.

Lord what are you telling us?  Why the signs and symbols?  Am I too daft to comprehend or just too immature to handle it all at once?  Or could it be part and parcel of the patience building exercises you’ve launched me on?  Am I simply to follow and see where it leads?  Well, duh, Esron.

I don’t know because I wasn’t meant to know.  Probably for a whole lot of reason my peanut brain cannot entertain, but most likely just to demonstrate that in order to give up control you must do just that, “give up control”.  I don’t like it, no not one bit.  Isn’t there something I can do that can either make this go faster or that can put me into a favorable circumstance while I am waiting?  You mean waiting means standing around for an amount of time that has nothing to do with my determination?  What surrender you say?  I thought that was just a song that we sang for the sake of sounding Christian.  Apparently God is really serious about this surrender stuff.

Today, I hit another bottom as if there were supposed to be only one.  I cratered, face-planted, nose-dived, road-rashed and jack knifed my way into infamy.  It was epic, charging down the lane with two left feet, shoes tied together, in long pants and fish heads, with a twenty pound bowling ball and a fifty pound pack on my back, determined to do my best MJ impression.  What a fail. News at 5:30 and I have counseled my family to move before it shows to save themselves the insult.  But you know what God not only brought me through he gave me ministry to do while I was sitting their nursing my freshly self-inflicted wounds.

What came of it?  Everyone else was in worse shape than my pitied circumstance, so you know what illogical, completely unreasonable thing God did?  Well, He sent me.  Who would have thought?  The Lord to be specific.  He knows so much better than I do, especially when it comes to removing me from the hole I have recently dug and stumbled head-long into.  Other people need him and praise God that He has accepted my raised hand in volunteer and sent me to get myself out of myself and worry about other people for awhile.  Long enough to forget about my failures, my inadequacies, my pity parties and tell people how much He Loves them.  And I pick my head just in time to see them smile, cry or thank the Lord in humility.  Somehow, at that moment, everything becomes okay.

I don’t get it, cannot explain, cannot figure out why on Earth He sent me, but none of that matters, because He did.  Then on top of it, He knew that I would be very good at it, I mean with His provision, His Words, His Spirit, His Love and my two left feet, I manage okay.  What you know, I might have something here.  Finally found the thing that I am really good at, getting out of the Lord’s way and standing on the battlefield letting Him fight for us.  Is that something you can even claim to be good at?  Well I am claiming it.  I love you folks, let me know if I can help, whenever, whatever, because He is going to send me especially when I know emphatically that what He asks is impossible.  Because that frankly is the point.

Praise God in Jesus Name.

Did I wound anyone today?  If I haven’t that would be a surprise, walking around with these size twenty, steel-toes and this tongue that scars and judges with lasting effect. Was it cowardly or wise to walk away from an argument from which I could have prevailed and left the other party weeping tears of public humiliation?  Isn’t this life about winning?  Why do I feel alone when surrounded by millions of souls?  Did I miss it, that shining light suspended just around the corner, always a fraction further than I might see?  Are these the emotions of God’s intent or the piteous contemplation’s of a foreigner pining for home?

They matter too much for me to screw up.  There is no room left on the door jamb to make marks indicating those who’ve I’ve bested.  No more space for the awards given a man for stripping others of their pride and making them regret their attempt at success.  That will show them, I hope they get over it.  All the time holding closely the realization of the lasting gashes and tears I left them.  Invisible wounds, except to those close enough to suffer from the personality ripples.  In my moment of conquest have I helped create years of struggle for the family members, spouses and children involved.  Forgive my shortsightedness.  Forgive me for living for my own glory.  I will suffer lasting regret and the shame of a man, like Adam, who knew better and just disobeyed.  There is no greater lasting pain than someone who has hurt their generations.

Father, these treasures, these people you’ve trusted to my care or whom I have accepted the emotive responsibility, let me not fail in their edification and encouragement.  If I may not help them then let me walk with them a listening post, hearing and sharing their burdens.  I beg you to allow me, guide me to being innocent of their wounding.  Keep me conscious of this instrument of pain parked so masterfully in the entryway to my life’s breath and consumption.  Let me remain unobstructed by its detrimental influence.  I so desperately do not wish to be reminded of these hateful actions at the moment of our meeting.  Forgive me now and set me free.  The kind eternal freedom of never having committed the sin in the first place.  Keep me from the dangers of being me and those pains that might be inflicted in the process of remaining in my humanity.

I love you and I love them, let that fact guide everything I do or in the case of my acidic tongue, do not do.  Walk with me keep me from harm, either to myself or others.  Let me begin to reflect your characteristics so that I might know I am closer to home than this foreign land.  In Jesus’ Name I pray.

How is contentment possible without content?  Are you ever poor if rich in the Lord’s Blessings?  Do people gravitate to you or avoid you like past plague?  Must I be rich to be happy or was it always simply a pursuit and not a destination?  Why are women flocking to women and men to men?  How is it that the world matches the Bible yet everyone is doing all that can do to discredit, ignore, deny and run from the truth of its predictive perfection?

When I deconstruct words I am often left with inconsistency.  That is precisely how I feel when investigating this word, content.  To me it is a natural conjunction of the words “Con” and acknowledgement of the negative and the word, “tent” a temporary of fabric dwelling.  I know that cannot possibly be the correct etymology because that portends that this word means the stuff that is outside the tent.  When in fact, this word rather points to a happiness with the stuff that is inside the tent, meaning be content without looking over the fence at the greenery beyond.  Apparently is comes from the word contained, but also has the connotation of being at rest, peaceful, satisfied.  So, it does have a dwelling aspect to its construct, meaning that a person is satisfied, at rest, at peace with the things contained within.

Are you at rest with the things contained within?  Do you find yourself unsteady, disquieted, frustrated, dis or un satisfied?  What if this position with which you currently contend is the moment of your rapture?  Are you ready to leave not having the peace that surpasses worldly understanding?  What if, God said to you that he has martyrdom planned for your life?  Could you or would you ever be content with the cup of misfortune God has handed you?  To whose Glory are you committed, yours or His?  Have you found peace and rest in this world?  I know where you can find the satisfaction to be “content” with where you are right now and at every juncture on the road to your . future.  The place is at the cross.  The pathway is through belief in Jesus.  The peace and the power are gifts of His Grace.  Find Him and find contentment in this life and the next.  In Jesus’ Name I pray for you today.

To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtlety to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.  

What more would a Father lovingly do for his children then leave accurate counsel for maturation and assistance?  We have recently forgotten the art of literary device and totally dismissed the use of punctuation to solidify a passage.  The Holy Spirit missed nothing in this translation.  And for those who have a problem with the King James Version of the Bible, let’s remember briefly the God we serve, please.  Do you think the Holy Spirit has enough power and authority to overcome any alternate agendas or evil machinations on the part of those who translated His Word?  Assuming that is that they have done it incorrectly?  The Power of this Word is unavoidable, unmistakable, absolute and precise in its reading, application and origin.

Wisdom, Webster’s says the following;

the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just  judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

So much for knowledge is power.  To be wise it appears you need the knowledge, judgment and ACTION to qualify.  Power packed words, that is the Living Word of God.  A Word so potent, so powerful, so intrinsically useful that it helps you weave your way through the intricacies of life.  So much for those who say the King James Version is some attempt to control, conform or transform the Word of God for personnel privilege.

Sapience demands the capacity to inspect, discern and decide.  Knowing something and wakefulness are related but so far away as to not exist on the same page of the dictionary.  One is a single dimension the other multi faceted and storytelling.  To be wakeful I must have action to demonstrate the truth of my circumstance, it includes the dimension of TIME, something with which God contends not.  So why would God make Words that are time dependent?  Because His Living Word is a guidebook for those of us who struggle with the component of Time.  We find it useful to know Him.  The fact that He wrote in a method that is discernible and specifically useful for His Children is another example of His Mercy, Grace and Love.

How is it that Solomon, who is widely accounted as God’s Penman for Proverbs could extend such wonderful advice for his Sons and then not follow those words himself?  Why is it that God’s Word is perfect yet we continue to fail at its application?  Wait I thought you said that the Bible is the word of man.  How can imperfect people create something perfect?  Oh, so we were born with the capacity to produce perfect Word but not the ability to live within that perfect Word?  Curious.

Read the above passage again.  Do you see any error, any indecision anything that needs correction?  No, so how can anyone say that the King James Version were just the machinations of an evil King intent on controlling his subjects?  It cannot be both.  Remember the Holy Spirit is God, a factor that we seem to have forgotten in the Churches.  The Holy Spirit has the authority and the power to select and influence every writer’s hand.  So I might have evil intent and be conformed to the Holy Spirit’s guidance or moved by His authority to do something other than what I had intended?  Curious.

I am the Simple man to whom subtlety is granted through study of this Holy Word.  I am the bull in the china room how is it at all possible that I could ever choose my words wisely, considering the feelings of others?  How could I express concepts beyond my own simple understanding to people who would otherwise dismiss them as the poor attempts of an ungifted man to reach far beyond station?  The Lord uses the weak to express ideas to the strong that they might see God and comprehend their own frailty in the presence of Almighty.  You can dismiss the messenger, but not the message.  Curious

Father, of some things I am curious, but not of you.  I know you, though I will never comprehend you.  How is that possible?  Curious.

In Jesus’ Holy Name.

What is God telling you to do?  Most of the time when I am listening to someone tell their story they claim that they do not know God’s Will for their lives.  They are generally surprised when I challenge this idea and remind them that the Bible says that everyone knows the truth that is God.  I often say that I am willing to bet that they know what the Lord wants them to do they just were holding out for another answer.  Are the voices of your own intention or the world, or perhaps even more nefarious ideas winning over through whispering alternate ideas in your ear?  Are you digging deeper into the relationship with God?  Searching the Bible for indications of his command for your life?  Are you praying and then listening for the answers from the Mouth of God?  Remember prayer is a two way line of communication, sometimes we may be guilty of throwing requests at God and never patiently waiting for His Small Quiet Voice in reply.

Okay, now that you have heard or established that the Lord has spoken to you about what He wants from you, what are you going to do about it?  Ignore the direction, reply with enthusiasm then do nothing or simply comply and take the steps forward necessary to receiving God’s provision for your ministry?  Yes, there are other options some involve begrudgingly doing what he wanted you to do. Or perhaps you are going about your own plan hoping that somehow God will overlook that fact or simply justify your unwillingness to follow directions?  Which one correctly characterizes your walk?

What then of the implications of your choice regarding God’s direction?  If you are going to demonstrate an unwillingness to follow His commands should there be consequence, even to the dissolution of two way communications with the Lord?  You know that often occurs, when you won’t hear the thing God is telling he will stop telling you.  That idea frightens me worse than anything else because then I am left to my own inadequate understanding and power within this world and the spiritual battlefield.  The Lord disciplines those whom he loves.  Do you expect that your name might be in this category for not listening to His direction?  Are you playing the victim in your own plan because God wants something else from you entirely?  The truth cleanses so it’s meant to hurt.

I pray that you continue to reach out to the Lord without doubt without limitation.  I pray that you are inclined to listen and desire that small quiet voice in your heart.  I pray that you immediately respond and demonstrate your enormous love for God by actively participating in His plan for your life by doing what He told you to do.  I pray that this brings you into a new place in your sanctified life where everything begins to take shape and converge.  I pray for you a new and fresh understanding of the authority and sovereignty of Almighty God and the potency of the free will choices He gives us.  I pray that the Lord protect your heart, mind and health this and everyday of this lifetime.  I pray that you are taking advantage to prepare for your coming life in eternity.  In Jesus’ Name.

What do you do with the idea of circumstance?  Do you ponder the statistical and mathematical probability of congruent events, laugh it off as chance occurrence or do you see God’s ordered participation in your lives?  How would it change your walk with God if each time you prayed, you consistently recognized an orderly procession of events leading up to a meeting with the right person, the exact amount of money that you needed arriving or you received confirmation of questions?  Oh, that has been happening all your life.  Has it brought you to greater faith, greater prayer time or a willingness to dig deeper into the mysteries of God’s Word?  If none of these things have occurred then have you perhaps missed the potency that “NO” coincidences has been meant to show you.

What would happen if each time you were delayed it created a circumstance where you were exactly in the right place and time to meet a person who needed your help or had some specific information to give you?  Would it alleviate your frustration at things not going fast enough, losing your keys, driving in traffic or simply waking up a bit late?  Would the panic resolve, the upset go away, would your speech and your treatment of others change significantly?  How would your behavior alter if you knew God “always” heard and not only worked on your prayers but had an orderly procession of events planned to bring you to “His” desired outcomes in this life?  Do you believe God?

I am not a victim but a willing participant in God’s Plan for my life.  I expect Him to show up, in events, in people in signs and symbols.  I have become a child awaiting Christmas morning every day of my life.  The joy of anticipation is addicting.  The people, places and mysteries that show up or unfold in my life are sometimes overwhelming to tears.  I am being used in a huge way for the Kingdom because I have asked the Lord to use me that way and I expect that He will.  The end result is these days I am “ready” for these occurrences and being in a state of wakefulness I don’t missed the Diving Opportunities within.  The Lord is my shepherd I shall not be in want.  In Jesus’ Name.