Lord what are you telling us?  Why the signs and symbols?  Am I too daft to comprehend or just too immature to handle it all at once?  Or could it be part and parcel of the patience building exercises you’ve launched me on?  Am I simply to follow and see where it leads?  Well, duh, Esron.

I don’t know because I wasn’t meant to know.  Probably for a whole lot of reason my peanut brain cannot entertain, but most likely just to demonstrate that in order to give up control you must do just that, “give up control”.  I don’t like it, no not one bit.  Isn’t there something I can do that can either make this go faster or that can put me into a favorable circumstance while I am waiting?  You mean waiting means standing around for an amount of time that has nothing to do with my determination?  What surrender you say?  I thought that was just a song that we sang for the sake of sounding Christian.  Apparently God is really serious about this surrender stuff.

Today, I hit another bottom as if there were supposed to be only one.  I cratered, face-planted, nose-dived, road-rashed and jack knifed my way into infamy.  It was epic, charging down the lane with two left feet, shoes tied together, in long pants and fish heads, with a twenty pound bowling ball and a fifty pound pack on my back, determined to do my best MJ impression.  What a fail. News at 5:30 and I have counseled my family to move before it shows to save themselves the insult.  But you know what God not only brought me through he gave me ministry to do while I was sitting their nursing my freshly self-inflicted wounds.

What came of it?  Everyone else was in worse shape than my pitied circumstance, so you know what illogical, completely unreasonable thing God did?  Well, He sent me.  Who would have thought?  The Lord to be specific.  He knows so much better than I do, especially when it comes to removing me from the hole I have recently dug and stumbled head-long into.  Other people need him and praise God that He has accepted my raised hand in volunteer and sent me to get myself out of myself and worry about other people for awhile.  Long enough to forget about my failures, my inadequacies, my pity parties and tell people how much He Loves them.  And I pick my head just in time to see them smile, cry or thank the Lord in humility.  Somehow, at that moment, everything becomes okay.

I don’t get it, cannot explain, cannot figure out why on Earth He sent me, but none of that matters, because He did.  Then on top of it, He knew that I would be very good at it, I mean with His provision, His Words, His Spirit, His Love and my two left feet, I manage okay.  What you know, I might have something here.  Finally found the thing that I am really good at, getting out of the Lord’s way and standing on the battlefield letting Him fight for us.  Is that something you can even claim to be good at?  Well I am claiming it.  I love you folks, let me know if I can help, whenever, whatever, because He is going to send me especially when I know emphatically that what He asks is impossible.  Because that frankly is the point.

Praise God in Jesus Name.