Must I participate in argument, strife, struggle or fight.  If the purpose were to bring Glory to God’s Name then the answer would most emphatically be, of course.  However, most arguments, struggles or fights are the product of bruised ego and therefore should be avoided.  My flesh wants me to prove that I’m right, begs me to best the next man and demand that they see the light of my august wisdom.   That has nothing to do with the spiritual man, in fact it inhibits my relationship with the Lord.  How can I be communing with the Father in love and humility when I am stubbornly and self-absorbingly focused upon prevailing in a squabble or discussion?

I have decided through consistent prodding by the Holy Spirit that I would rather be accused of being aloof then go down the road of allowing my flesh to gain the control in my walk.  Yes, does this leave some things undone at that moment?  Perhaps, but isn’t it much better philosophy to avoid and wait until there is another less emotionally charged moment to address and issue then it is to remain and potentially damage a relationship or potentially push someone further from a relationship with God.   Yes, rebuke works, God’s Word never returns null and void, it always has purchase.  However, when I am bent upon winning an argument, even one regarding Biblical context, I have found that my delivery is always far from gentle.  Is God directing me to call out a hypocrite or serpent in the flock?  If he is then I should stand my ground because the Holy Spirit will provide the appropriate words for that specific moment.  If not then I ought to avoid giving into my flesh even to the point of flight.

Flight is a mechanism that may save us from disaster.  Look we don’t always have to give into the fight mode of fight or flight.  Sometimes retreat is the best solution, to wait for another day to make your approach or point.  I don’t flee every battle because some are so important spiritually that we must stand our ground armoured in God’s Word to withstand the enemy.  Discernment is the differentiating component in determining which is which.  If you want discernment or wisdom, study Proverbs 2 and follow God’s recipe as he gives wisdom freely to those who seek it.  I am tired of my own flesh, I wish it would finally determine that it died upon that cross two thousand years ago with Christ, but until that time at which point I am freed of its prompting I must struggle to gain self control.  As of this point I choose to “Opt out” of the battles fought for purposes other than to elevate the Name of God or to win back souls for the Kingdom.  Thank you Lord Jesus.

Son, does the Lord God have to place you into the impossible task in order to get to acquiesce to his Sovereignty?  Does being placed in a situation that is beyond your control totally freak you out, leave you bitter, whining or frustrated?  Is there a set of things you avoid because they are outside your understanding, command and control or leverage?  Is the Lord calling you to the impossible task that He alone may accomplish?

Take a breath, wait, let that pulse settle a moment.  Contemplate the reason and reality of my argument before you pronounce me with ad-hominem assault.  If you can do it with your skills and abilities, why then do you need the Lord?  If you can do it with your gifts, talents and treasure, couldn’t it be your plan substituted for something that would truly bring him glory?  How would people see God in your achievements if they are just the great achievements of a talented person?  Oh, the fact that I am not those names you’ve used for me is beginning to dawn upon you.  However, I would wear the monikers if in fact it would allow you to get closer to God or to see the basis for his positioning you against the impossible.  Isn’t your purpose to be used as a tool to demonstrate the Glory of God through you and in you?  Isn’t the greatest evidence of that indwelling a person accomplishing something beyond their standing, talent, station or capacity?

I can’t do it, but I know who can.  I don’t want to do it but I will to demonstrate my obedient love for my Father who has commanded it of me.  I cannot even imagine having the courage to stand where he asks me, carrying with me what he bids me bring and speaking the Words He has given me, never mind actually step out and accomplish it.  I fear, I falter, I am not sufficient, but none of that matters except in the formulation of my next excuse or reason for not acting on the Holy Spirit’s prompting.  Of course I am not sufficient to God’s tasks, but I will stand in good courage in the knowledge that he still will use me to accomplish the impossible.  I will Glorify his name even unto death so that others might be set free from the prison of sin and hades.  In the impossible you will see him, not me, which is something I have prayed and prayed and prayed for.

Lord here I am fully aware that I am inadequate in every way but the ways that matter to you.  Give me something so incredibly hard that those around me can never again deny your participation in my life when I achieve great blessings in your name.  Give me the Giants, for I want to take back the high ground, fortified, stolen principalities that may only truly belong to your beloved.  Give me the weaponry of Spirit proper to the taking down of strongholds and setting captives free.  I will go in love, not in fear, knowing how much you care for me and have prepared a place for me at your feet.  I believe and will walk accordingly in Your Name, with your praises dancing from my lips.  Jesus My King.

My heart searches but scrapes bare metal, dust and shavings, having tested sidewalls and bottom I am left parched.  What then is everlasting if my thirst slakes unmercifully?  Once having been filled, reservoir overflowing, thoughts of drought must be abandoned.  However now I pray for humidity, saturation, even flood would be welcomed.  What I have uncorked my own dry satchel?  Let me taste of the ripened grapes of God’s abundant mercies and see that it is not of myself that my thirst has beckoned, but of the everlasting waters of God’s Eternity.

Never again, shall a dependence upon self leave me wondering, hungering, praying for an end to the scarcity and fear.  This Lord fills me with his rich Glory and I am sustained, no overwhelmed, though my hunger is dispatched daily.  I have need for nothing except to do that work, that wonderful work that requires me to be me and ride the wave of promises and power.  Father, I cannot stand of my own, for seeing them, hearing their mockery robs me of my quickening.  How then may I reside in your love for humanity, knowing that if they hear you not then all is frail attempt at reason?  I am but a leather strop, made to wick the burs from a two edged sword.  The Sword is your merciful, pleasant, resounding and powerful Word, separating faith from reason and truth from prevarication.

I love them so much it hurts to know that they may not choose righteousness.  Chasing folly and knowledge they have convinced themselves or had assistance in determining that Trusting You is fantastic abnormality and trust in flesh is hopeful.  How twisted their mettle.  Father, give me hope as my fulcrum, take my pride that I might implore them with ardent authenticity.  Make my Words shine with the brightness of your Glorious Appearing that they too might patiently await that precious moment.  Let them know you Lord, answer that request made quietly in the dark of doubt.  Forgive them as you’ve forgiven me.  Lead them away from their iniquity and false abandon.  And if they must go Lord, forgive me my failure of presentation and reckon.  Your Word does not fail, let me be adequate to the tasks you’ve set before me, filled with your indwelling brightness.

What are we without a struggle?  Inadequately tested, uninspired, weak or is it the nature of the highest man to live the “uneventful” or “easy” life?  Shall I preach uncontested, believing myself beyond contest or does my faith increase with suitable and active resistance or questioning?  In life, are things some how improved, sharpened, increased or strengthened by overcoming circumstances?  Of course, but it must also be mentioned that challenge may also reveal inadequate preparation, character or resolve and bring about or catalyze failure.  Is then the polarity of challenge determined by the perspective of the participant?   Perhaps immediately, but there may also be an agreed public interpretation which differs from the participant.

What is the purpose of this challenge, Father?  Is it a test of my love?  Perhaps my endurance and capacity to remain devoted under unfavorable circumstance.  Do I resist any challenges or am I best suited to volunteer myself to the difficulty armed by the knowledge that improvement is in effect, inevitable?  How may I win by confronting those I view are in direct conflict with your word?  Am I required to combat them or to “challenge” them on the merits of their doctrine or am I free to look to the Holy Spirit for direction and absent that prompting to avoid a potentially combustible conversation?  Seeing the Apostles directly confronted these faux teachers and preachers is this the cited example for all disciples?  Doesn’t that require that I appear directly intolerant and remove any camouflage or position behind which I was in relative safety?  Should I care, truly care when men and women entertain the ideals of charlatans?  Ought I care enough to intervene, or is it strictly my responsibility to love and allow them to make their free will choice as I have made?  Perhaps I am merely to adequately state the truth of Your Word and let the chips fall as they may?  Is it my nature to confront the challenge or is it within your will that I do so as directive?

Father, I tire so of their mockery, their lust for easy living and their quick desire to follow after every new age ideal.  Is this truly my heart or is this really happening as result of the times in which we reside?  It appears that they have closed their hearts to sound doctrine.  I do not wish to make that observation prematurely, as the implications are monstrous.  I seek your guidance Holy Spirit.  Do we in fact live in that age when men’s hearts have grown so cold, so desirous of their personal satisfaction that their ears tickle to hear the desires of their lasciviousness? I must assume that even if the answer to that question is true that there remains the possibility to reach them with the Gospel or you would have already called us home.  But I need to know if it is my lot in life to confront these false teachers or to beckon the people away from their siren marketing of prostituted Christianity.  I cry when I see them embrace the lies perpetrated by fancy men having rewritten the faith to their own entreat.  Are we in the times of prophets and men of God who challenge the wicked and so doing allow public observance of your Glory?  If I am to challenge then I pray that I clearly understand that directive and stand resolute in strength and courage even to the penalty of life lost, but if it be somehow a measure of my own ego then please counsel me to refrain, sit and listen with love and gentility.

I love and praise you Father in the mighty name of Jesus Christ my King.

As the poison is drawn to the surface, I am enamored and appalled at the black veins under my skin and the lesions appearing on surface.  How deeply within my body did this inky-black sickness reside?  What would ensue if the Lord had never brought this to my attention and shown me the filth remaining within my soul?  What does this portend Father?  Why now when I believed I had come so far in sanctification?  Is this meant for its direct purpose which has made me revile at the vision of my own remaining spots, garbage and sin that I believed had been long removed?  What am I to do Father?  Does these mean there is more?  Have I forgotten to surrender all the closets, cupboards and basement rooms for your cleansing?  How late in the game do we find ourselves that I could be sidelined by my remaining wickedness?

I cough up the vile green sphere of my own wicked man?  No frogs, no demons, just iniquity that has yet to be removed by the Potter’s Hand.  But I thought that I was wearing your righteousness Lord, I thought that I was cleansed of my own blackness long ago?  You mean that I can appear Holy to everyone, even to God but still have so far to go in the refiner’s fire?  Have I been inhibiting your removal of this stuff from my soul?  How can I volunteer to you, will that make this go any faster, or must I be patient with this process and understand you are showing me the work left to be done.  I know that you are faithful and true to complete the work you once began in each of us.  It is just that I am so amazed that walking with you so long, I have truly been full of all this sin.  Oh what a wretched man I remain.  When oh Lord will I be cleansed of my unrighteousness and begin to see the clarity of life, breathe, thought, word and heart?

Does this mean that the time is short Lord?  Does this mean that you are showing me all that needs be done so that I don’t forget to remain close to you that is all may be complete before your return for the Church, judgment and reign?  I know that I am just full of questions, especially those that are sponsored by realization and trembling fear having believed myself so much further down the road to sanctification and preparation for Glory.  Forgive me for wrong thinking.  Let me stand in the refiner’s fire and let you take from me this dross so that I too am prepared for heaven.  Forgive me for thinking anything otherwise, remind me daily of the length of road remaining before me.  Forgive me for thinking or passing any opinion or judgment upon someone else’s walk, especially when my own is obviously still so immature.  Let me be ready when that trumpet sounds with oil in my lamp, love in my heart and my eyes locked upon your person.  Give me awareness, diligence and strength and turn my trembling to mercy for the next guy or gal, so that I might be a blessing and not meant for injury.  Give me a special dispensation of grace and love for you that I might know exactly how to best love them.  I ask this all in Your Name Lord Jesus, that Holy Name, the Righteousness Name of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Glorious to love with a heart that is free of return receipt.  They are wonderful, just look at them, adorned with the gifts, emotion, passions and aspirations of Glory.  Running about trying so hard to be good enough to pass inspection, constantly being criticized by inadequacy egged on by the bringer of lies.  Yes, the Lord requires repentance, but which of us feels no remorse for our iniquities, the wounds we have caused others and ourselves?  And what of the slights toward God, repugnant, disobedient, intentional, determined to show him who’s in charge?  We begin to see that we never could measure up of our own intent, but somehow we have been forgiven and been made acceptable regardless.

But what of them who continue to defy?  The course begins, “Have you ever lied, have you ever stolen, have you ever lusted after another man’s wife”?   Yes to any of these in God’s standards requires a life payment.  So where do we draw the line with regard to sin value, should we immediately condemn all of who have committed a sin we deem above the 6th degree of difficulty?  No, since God made the rules, all sins require payment.  How then are we to reconcile our own sin and our resistance to accept accountability and repentance, instead believing ourselves somehow good enough to pass muster when heaven’s trumpet sounds.  See I do not get to proclaim my own authorization to enter the pearly gates of God, He does.  And for that the requirement is repentance, belief and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and the grace offering of redemption, salvation and sanctification through the Holy Spirit.  Nothing else will suffice, no other path allows a shortcut that may circumvent his requirements, the only other options is eternity spent separated from Glory, from loved ones from God.

I love you so much, I beg you to stop running and turn your face to a waiting God.  He has been pursuing you since birth, hoping, praying and knowing that at some point you would hear that call upon your heart and feel the need for relationship.  The father waits, he waits patiently for you to choose his love.  Won’t you accept it now and fulfill the purpose for this life that may only be found in the creator?  My time, all time, perhaps today may be the last opportunity for redemption.  If you knew this was your last day, your last few hours or even your last week, how would you act differently than you are now?  Make it today, cry out to God for salvation, call upon the mighty name of Jesus for forgiveness of sin, cleansing of unrighteousness, to be set free from the prisons of this world.  Let God’s Holy Spirit into your life to baptize you by fire and prepare you, seal you and empower you for the works for which you were fearfully and wonderfully crafted by God.  Come on home for eternity.  In Jesus’ Name I pray.

Repent and wash, repent and wash, cleanse be holy for a bit and repeat.  Man I am tired of my trappings of my worldly life.  The whining, the quarrels, the nattering about trivial things, has become so cumbersome that it weighs me down and inhibits my relationship with God.  What would this life be like if I stopped feeling sorry for myself or being concerned about the fulfillment of my will and just did what the Lord requires?  Being obedient, what a novel idea, how come I cannot seem to get it right even though it is so straight forward in context?

When I think I have arrived, I will always be last to the party.  When I think that I know it all, I instantly demonstrate that I never met Lady Wisdom.  In one fell swoop I identify, advertise and recognize all this garbage that remains within my soul.  I thought that once I said that sinner’s prayer that all this went away and I was supposed to be whisked to heaven in a fiery chariot to be in line to pick up my glorified body.  Unfortunately, I overlooked one HUGELY important step, sanctification.  I am never going to be ready to spend eternity with a Holy God unless I stand firmly and voluntarily in this fire and have the junk burned out of me or the Lord forces the infectious material to the surface.  I choose the former, but as any humans I would like the process finished by last Thursday.  Then reason steps in and reminds me how messed up I had become before God plucked me from the brink of disaster.

What then is left for me now that I stand here so imperfect, that at times I can barely stand the sight of me?  Of course, that is a wonderful state for the purposes of God.  I was made to be disgusted with my sin and crave the restoration to the cleanliness of Almighty God.  Praise him that at that very moment when I feel as if it cannot get any worse, I am forgiven of all my trespasses and renewed for another day in the crucible.  It is not that I will admit to loving it, I rather look forward to being removed and relocated to my real home, but there is a certain respect I have for this training place.  I mean I grew up here, I was born here twice and I will eventually die to pay that debt which all men pay.  However, instead of the loneliness and the destitution experienced in a life without hope, even my worst moment indicates that I have nothing but that eternal hope.  For it is not upon my own determination or gifts that I depend, but upon the righteous works and power of God.

I have never been alone.  Since I met God, I have not experienced a moment without hope as a beacon shining in the distance.  Must I face the same trials in the same manner with indignation, complaint and drudgery?  Or may I become equipped with a measure of  dignity as I accept the reproaches, corrections and reformations of character God so wishes for me to attain?  What a man would I be if I could accept it in style, acceptance, thankfulness and grace.  Lord give me that character beyond my own understanding so that not only to accept your will for my life but I cherish and proclaim its graces throughout the coming trials.  I desperately wish to bring glory to your name and know that each time of grumble is exactly the opposite of that intention.  Make me true to heart.  I believe in You.  Praise you Lord God in the Mighty Name of Jesus My King.