Yes I fall, I fail, I flounder lying upon the sand feeling inadequate to circumstance.  But, I get up, sometimes waiting for the strength to rise from my knees.  There against the spiteful wind I stand in the knowledge of God, expecting resistance but tasting the eventual and imminent victory of God’s Promise.

How do you explain my continued resolve.  You who warned me against believing in something made up by man, something that controls sheep, an opiate?  How do explain my sobriety, my willingness to give and my continued ability to survive on a field rife with fiery arrows?  My wounds evident, my scars not so much but still reflected in the light of God’s love pouring forth from my eyes.  Bloodied, beaten, forgotten, unloved, you beg me to lie down and quit, but I have other ideas.  My investment is in Christ, I have placed all that I have in his hands, seeking return following this life.  Your glory Lord, I will benefit in the long-haul.

Why do you avoid battle in my quadrant, you thought me frail, easily sidestepped or beaten?  Am I foe worthy of your concern?  Absolutely not, I will not pump you up with false bravado to which are not worthy.  My strength is the Lord’s, my patience built of faith, faith in his righteous willingness to destroy you to protect me.  You have been beaten by love, his Love and that astounds your sensibilities.  Something as low as me could survive every assault simply because he loves me.  There is power in understanding the authority of one’s Father.  Mine owns everything, made everything, knows everything and has power and authority beyond comprehension.  Where does that leave you?

I may be on my belly, but I soon will be on my elbows, knees and feet, standing in the midst of darts with my shield locked against my Brother, firm footed in the knowledge of the inevitability of our victory through Christ.

If it requires I be a fool to love you, then an able fool I stand before you. loving.  If I must lose all to gain the moments we spend in concentrated learning, loving and laughing, then here are the keys to my castle.  If I must slave to righteousness, forbidden in things outside your character, then shackle me anew with the Spirit of You.  If I must dig in to an extended battle, pushing forward only to collect our wounded, then in this dirt I dedicate my life to our victory.  If I must run, let it be in your strength so that I never weary or faint.  If I must commit this life to be of any relevance then to which paper do I place my mark?

They are excruciatingly tiring in their questions, demonstrating their fear and desperation.  They are tiresome in their inability to consider anything but themselves and they exhaust me when I find myself having to define hope for someone who knows it not.  They challenge me when my teeth must be clenched in responding to their repeated negative responses.  However, they are his and I love them.  They are his and I love them.  They are his.

Lord I am okay with the timing of your coming.  I think I would prefer rapture, but the dead in Christ rise first.  I know this, that I miss you and know that my time is accounted for in this duty.  It is exciting to wait upon you.  It is easy to believe in you.  It is comforting to trust in You.  May your Mighty Name be Blessed and may you be held in full account of your Glory and Wisdom.  In Jesus’s Holy Unblemished Name.

https://youtu.be/utWQjChjUrI All prophecy points to Jesus Christ.  Are you Bible Ready?

We have forgotten the need, the respect, the peace of sovereignty. Our sin and the fallen enemy’s creative attempts to tempt us toward it make this world nearly unbearable. Yet the Lord uses its wickedness, its rasp, it caustic nature to challenge us in ways that essentially assure our trial and subsequent improvement. Can we, consider ourselves believer and go through this life making our own decisions, plans and consumption of Glory? Or does the nature of Christianity imply an incumbent sacrifice, volunteerism, slavery to the Righteousness, Sovereignty and power of the Lord Jesus Christ. We have been heavily dosed with the convincing, medicinal deception that we have always been and will always be capable of living this life under our own power, plans and authority and still wake up after the first death, ready for an eternal relationship with God. The two roads do not cross. We may only understand salvation by first grasping Sovereignty. Without a respectful understanding and reverent fear for God and a shameful willingness to repent of our sinful existence, eternity with God a plane outside of our understanding.

I want no regrets when my time comes to leave my current role within humanity. I want to understand and commit to what I say that I believe and in order to do so I must fully understand the parameters of doctrine to which I am committing. the Therefore, I cannot simply trust the word of man regarding the things of God and heaven. I must seek a description that has its roots outside this worldly plane. I am left with the need for Spiritual Enlightenment, for I can only know God as He describes Himself. And even then I must take those things my flesh perceives and challenge them, overlay and compare them to the Words and prayers of Spirit, for I am man and may be fooled by my wicked heart or emotions. I am comfortable with what I am left, a dependence upon God that is real, authentic and voluntarily surrendered.

For example; God’s Words are deeper than man portrays. When the Bible says in English pray for the peace of Jerusalem. It forgets, denies or ignores the fact that the Hebrew word for peace is plural, meaning pray for the wholeness of Jerusalem, peace in its entirety which will only be achieved through Christ. The same goes for the word devotion in Hebrew, which in English is simply equated with the word, mercy. But in Hebrew it means so much more than just mercy, it typifies the devotion of God toward the Jews, a devotion that is defined by His supernatural ability to love and protect them, “No Matter What”. It is easy in our simplistic understanding to keep things simple and define words in one word explanation, but the heavenly realms are multi-dimensional as depicted by Paul’s description of the breadth, the height, the width and depth of God’s love. That is four dimension which immediately indicates a necessary enlightenment to comprehend the characteristics of “four dimensions”. Without the Spirit we have no hope of understanding the world to which we claim we are heading.

Father, leave me with no regrets. Let me accomplish that which you have anointed me to complete so that your will on Earth matches that which is in Heaven. Watch over my Brothers and Sisters as they are tempted to despair by the wiles of the enemy. Let them see your Light and obtain the fullness in Peace that surpasses this world’s understanding. Prepare us eternity. In Jesus’ Holy Name.

I know I have always asked for the crash course, so that reluctantly I can say that I waited just as you’ve directed.  But we know Lord this sped up timing is not because of anything I am waiting on from you, it is because the time is short and I did pray that you would make the man you wished me to be in the time remaining.  I am sorry that I dallied so long, it is not right for me to ask now that you some how accelerate my course, but I still do.  I see that you are going to hold me to it.  I am sorry for the costs to those around me Father, it must burdensome.  I know that just as in Isaiah as he realized he was staring into the light of God and being asked to speak, I am not worthy of your presence Father.  I am clear that it is your spirit dwelling inside me and my washing in the blood of Christs that now allow me to call you Father.  I am grateful that it is real, but I still don’t deserve it.

Lord Jesus, I see so much false doctrine, spoken of even in the circle of the saints.  I wince as I hear their version of your Gospel, I beg them listen and in some instances they hear and leave, but never do they stay and show error.  Pride prohibits them from realizing how far down the broad road that had unwittingly traveled.  I wish they would have trusted what I said when I told that the only reason I mentioned anything is because I wanted to learn the Truth together.  Too bad men cannot admit their negligence in study and prayer. Lord I pray against the false prophets they are so dangerous to the remaining few left to hear the Good News of Christ.  Lord please protect the fledgling believers that they might learn the Whole and Holy Truth of Your Gospel.

I don’t want to live out on the street anymore Lord but that is where the battle ensues.  Is there a group of believers I might join to go looking for one hundred, because it seems all the churches are satisfied with the ninety-nine or thirty-seven as it appears apostasy has reduced their number.  The youth know least, for they have not known a relationship with you.  They do not know the sweet honey of your Word.  Father, again I thank you for the discipline, the education, the instruction and the encouragement.  I know that they are all facets of your perfect love for me.  I pray that I make the best use of all that you have given me and that I lift up those around me to become fulfilled in their walk with Jesus.  Love us, cover us, come and bring us home.  We await your direction and your return, Amen.

I asked him for impetus he showed me the door, and as its creaking frame dimmed the light I knew that daylight would not last forever.  What is more valuable than the love of a Father to his son?  It is the strength of each day when we know that we are loved, cherished, appreciated by our Fathers.  There is also no more resident fear than letting my Father down through embarrassment, poor performance or simple disobedience.  The tears are too large to make it through the narrow ducts of my repentant eyes.

They told me, the many voices of my Bible Family.  The prophets, my uncles of old, filled with God’s Word, trusted, never understood, yet feared for the prophetic weight in their voices and prediction.  Kings, mistakes made, yet their faith and fealty to Almighty God indelibly impressed upon our hearts and conscience for the length, breadth, width and depths of eternity.  Brothers fallen, trying to give the last ounce of their faith and courage to show their Father their feet planted firmly upon the Rock of Ages.  Children in their innocent faith, telling truths and secrets that none of us will know til Jesus.  Women, loving in a way that we cannot understand a world that has always treated them unkindly, in a quest to measure up, never feeling good enough.

The time has come.  There are no grand excuses to be offered in obeisance.  No measure of I forgot, couldn’t get to it, didn’t have time or was held up by such and such will fill the gap.  We were not born to live upon excuse yet this world pleads us do so.  No talent, no money, no time we cry to all who will listen hoping that mercy will come from a crowd bereft of it, leaving the one hanging who has always shown us such kindness.  This is the time for performance, not words, unless the Words that you have been given to speak are those same mentioned by the prophets of old.  Forgive me for being so direct, but I have no more time for beating around any bushes, for this is my duty.  Seek ye first the Kingdom of God all his righteousness and these things will be added unto you.  It is to him you must go now seeking direction and I pray that you will listen completely and obey in Holy offering of your faithful body as worship.

Lord you are so gracious.  That you would love me as much as you do, daunts me.

There is no room between us, for I too have forgotten yesterday’s sin and know this that I cannot stand anything that brings distance to our love.  I am truly the oddball, finding no common place of belonging except with you by my side in discipleship.  I am under no false understanding that it is only me looking out for growth of the kingdom.  I am certain there are passionate believers by the millions discouraged by this failing world, buoyed in the knowledge that your return must be imminent.  It is time isn’t it Lord.  Time to determine the last scenes of this grand human history.  I am curious to my role in these tragic episodes and how I might inject your hope, Love and encouragement to empower those who feel helpless, alone, forgotten.

Father, once again, I commit my all to you.  Let no other entities occupy the space between us, reserve my heart for you.  I love these people Lord, I understand that they have fallen pray to the ungodly, the powers and principalities and lies of a world gone astray.  Forgive them Lord, let me never anger for what they obviously cannot control.  Let me speak your hopeful written word to their hearts that they might be comforted, restored and healed.  Let me be the tool of your salvation in bringing them to a spot where they might know you and confess their sins for eternity.  Let all of my talents, supply, will and strength be solely dedicated to the great work in which you have allowed us few to participate.  Let me encourage my Brothers and Sisters in their work as well, building them up to be effective for you.

None of this matters, in fact, even I may be forgotten if in so doing it brings about your glory.  For I need not be remembered Lord except by you and in so doing hold tight to the knowledge of that day where I might look into your eyes and know that I have reached home.  I see that you have sent the tests to which I must measure.  Give me courage and strength to stand in the knowledge of you Almighty God.

When I have both the Church and satan giving me the same critique there’s a problem, especially when it is in direct conflict with how I am certain God sees me.  I cannot tithe enough, give enough, clean enough, serve enough, be silent enough, have had too many wives or too few, cannot spell, smell and dress funny, don’t have the right temperament, don’t have the right social skills, interrupt like a Berean, pray incorrectly and have this odd practice of wanting to maximize the utilization of all that God has given me.  Look I see and believe that we are currently smack dab in the middle of the great apostasy.  Every where we look there are churches dwindled in population to the elect, mostly elderly trying desperately to hold on, remaining soluble.  I see that any challenge to that attempt appears to be from the enemy, but I am the guy that is out on the street funding my own ministry and I have to tell you, this is where you find the lost.  That is if you want to tell them about Christ so that they too might be saved and perhaps join the ranks of a local church.

We cannot sit in the church and expect that the lost are going to show up to be saved from coming judgment that they don’t even know about.  They view the church in a number of ways but none will cause them to come and join the ranks of our dwindling facilities.  Sure they will ask for cash to continue their unwise, sinful practices or play upon our emotions to convince us that they need help, but there are very few true, honest conversions going to come from sitting in the church catering to the few who happen to darken our doorstep.  The answer is not in new programs, better music, lighting, preaching or comfort.  The lost are out in the world, that is why Jesus showed us the example of going into the world to find them.  And as we get closer to the rapture the pool of minds that have yet to make a decision for Christ is smaller, meaning the hunt is going to be more difficult.  We must be willing to scour the territory until that last heart may be found.  That is our entire purpose for being.  Counting on age old strategy of sprucing up a nice building, having better dinners, inviting a friend from work, may provide a few folks from whom we might find a convert or two, but is never going to produce a significant body of people for testimony.  Unless having a few converts is your churches’ collective success.

There are so many lost, I do not have enough time to properly love them and tell them effectively about Jesus.  They all know that they need something, heck they are aware that something is coming in the near future and they are willing to listen, but we don’t have enough voices out there telling them.  I love being with Christians, but I cannot sit in the church for 5 hours a week, as is required for members, if that is the only time I have to go and spread the Gospel.  You want me to work so I can bring in tithe’s and offerings to the church but the church is not organized and out on the street like I am to spread the Good News.  I am sorry I have decided to serve Jesus and if he wants me on the street, using my cash to spread the good news with a piece of pizza, a coke, a sleeping bag and a smile then that is where I must be.  Your rituals have forced this decision that breaks my heart because it means that I will never be good enough to be a member of your club.  I love you folks but I must serve Jesus and your way just won’t produce the results I believe he is requiring of me.

I love you and hope that you forgive my review and critique of your business model.  I am following Jesus into the street, up to the hills and down in the valleys where the lepers skulk, in hopes of finding that last person yet to hear the Gospel, so that we might go home.  If you must ridicule me, I guess I get it.  In some way I am glad that I don’t have to be good enough, because the lost people I talk to have satan telling them that every day, so it really aides my delivery when I tell them how valuable they have always been.  In Jesus Name.

When I read about how you walked with them, just to talk and to spend some time.  I couldn’t help but rebuke myself for wanting to take their place, knowing all along that I would then have been the one who let down all mankind.  Even though life has always been a wonder, I never stop to ponder what it would be like if we had never fallen.  Thousands of years, discipline, wasted wars, stiff necks, adulteries and millions of gallons of sin poured into Christ, just to make up for that original inadequacy and disobedience.  Man we could have been living in paradise with God.  But then we never would have seen the depths of his love for us.  The lengths to which he would willingly go to see us reattached to him.

But that’s not what he knew would happen.  He knew we would let the viper wrap us around his little finger, stealing our gifts, stealing our place as in the presence of the Lord.  Of course he would steal that which he himself had lost, knowing the price we would pay, knowing how foolish any prideful quest that would remove access to the loving Father.  Then he loved us through our freakishly long lives given some of us hope that the world would someday be changed by the seed of the woman.  And man wept as he saw brother against brother and man against girl doing those things we knew to be abominable in the Lord’s sight.  All along is hope that provides us and window beyond today’s infirmity.

And I saw that you raised them up and taught them right but they chose their own path in life.  No different now as each man I know determines the road he will travel. You see because the rules are the same for everyone, then I have the same opportunity as all and the same choice to do wrong without repentance.  I mean we all do wrong, so none are right, but if we choose the right, then he is faithful and true to do what we cannot do and put our sin aside and make us his bride so that we will never be left in fire alone.  But some are still, even this moment making that terrible choice.  I see them daily and wish that they wouldn’t, and find myself inadequate again to convince them of their bad discernment.  But they don’t care and I reminded that Eve was deceived and Adam was disobedient even though they knew God intimately.

What choice have I?  I have Jesus and Spirit as guide, always inside, leaving opportunity wide open.  But Jesus was also King and each man may determine that which will govern his life.  I choose God, My Sovereign God, even when he contends with my flesh, for I am a created thing, made to serve my Creator King.  This world is a pale reflection of what he intended for us.  I can hardly wait now for the door to open into what he had originally intended for us for eternity.  Maybe somehow we are better, I mean the angels are astounded that He would step down out of time in to the this life to save those who would believe.  That has to account for something, that we may have been changed by our ability to choose through faith, that the process of choosing somehow transformed our humanity.  But I still thank the King, it’s about Him I that I sing, when I am strong or I strung, flying or hung, each part of my lung will bring forth a song, frail, pierced or long, I will sing or I’ll whistle through my lips or a thistle a prayer hymn or missive to Jesus, My King and My God.