Free will is an anathema to believers without discernment.  I am polluted, my thoughts are shadows of this worlds’, historic megalomania, any path I declare righteous will certainly destroy me or those foolish enough to follow my lead.  This thing has never been about me, that is why our greatest achievement is the loss of self.  When I can drop, this life, this job, this path, in exchange for following Christ then and only then will I have done something worth the price of living.  Lord knows I have never been happy anywhere else but in his potter’s grasp.  The day I learned to live was the day I followed my brothers’ example, dropped my nets and followed him.

He may place me somewhere, in a role, a job, a journey or a family with clear direction and intention for his own glory, but that is not the same as a script written in my own hand.  My learning has always been about letting go and refusing to embark on the next set of grand plans to place my signature on history.  Frankly, I just ain’t that smart, talented, athletic or rich to make a dent in the shiny mettle of man.  I was meant for bearing water for the king, planting seeds in his good earth and caring for the wounded.  These are not the plans of a man seeking history, they are the desires or restings of a servant.  I cannot make you happy.  You define your happiness and expect that I will produce the spark, kindling and fuel to continue fanning its flame.  These things are outside his direction for the man he created.  If we both served him there would be no argument.

I don’t want to have things, to capture dreams, to hold territory or treasures to provide me some assurance.  My surety is Christ.  The greatest joy I have ever experienced was giving you my last portion, knowing fully that my next would be provided.  Encouragement costs me nothing but lost moments of self-concern.  I do not need a safety net, a nest egg, a guaranteed paycheck or a storehouse full of goods and grains, unless they are intended to feed his sheep during a time of scarcity.  I need to be about the master’s work, planting, fertilizing, cultivating in dedicated worship to a worthy King.  This world traps, confines, smothers and puts out the ember to them born for ferocious fire.  A man without treasure worries not for it loss when evil approaches.  That is not to say that we ought not protect our treasures just that what God would have me treasure is completely different than the ideals of man.  Therefore we have forgotten to stand for our principles for character alone makes a man.  You can take everything I own and still never defeat me, for my victory is in Christ and the man I am meant to become.  Knowing when to let it all go is the greatest thing a man can know.  What he will give me to replace it is the miracle only a disciple may ever hope to understand.  In Jesus’s mighty name I pray to you Almighty God because you alone are worthy of my praise.  My God, My King, My Lord.  I love you with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength.