Is my honesty with God in question?  Do I meekly seek to conceal or refuse voice to those issues with which I may have conflict or question with Almighty God?  Do I question His Wisdom, His decision or judgment as I see it played out in the lives of those around me?  Do I have the position, the right or the authority to question the Will of God?  Am I dishonest with myself and God when I say that I have completely surrendered to His Will on Earth and in Heaven as I truly grumble in the dark?  Do I think that I know better, and if there is evidence to the same, have I readily approached God in demonstration?

Moses, David, Abraham, Job, Peter and Jonah.  All of these men were totally dedicated to the Lord, certainly to an extent far beyond my poor given surrender.  Yet, each of them at some point contended with God, beseeching Him to stop in judgment or execution of His Will.  Were any of the them right when halting God, interceding or contending with God’s Plan for humanity.  Certainly, each of us will have some confusion regarding God’s thoughts, actions or intentions because His mind is so far above our understanding, but my faith should overwhelm that question.  I may not understand God’s Plan, but I am a slave to righteousness, not a contributor.  God is in charge, He is Sovereign, He is outside of time and understands all the implications of action or inaction.  It may be informative, it may disrupt your self image but He doesn’t need me, He doesn’t need any of us.  It is entirely the opposite, we cannot breathe without His good will.

You may find yourself the first to succeed in questioning God, without regret.  My reading and study of the Bible, I see each time that someone questioned God they ended up hurt, broken, regretful and remorseful in their pride.  He is God, I am not.  Certainly, he is a great Father and going to entertain my questions as a son, but there must be limits to my power perception.  I don’t know better at all.  No man does.  None of us have ever gotten it right, living a righteous life, except for Christ the King.  Certainly there were them who came close, look upon Enoch or Elijah and how were they rewarded for that righteous life, they were yanked out, some would say, “early” to live forever with God.  My job is not to question God, but to trust and obey God in my demonstration of loving Faith.  My advice is that it is okay to disagree with God, but we must remember that we don’t have all the information to take a discordant position in perfect confidence.  Not knowing everything, as does God we must defer to His Sovereignty and understand our position in the chain of command within God’s universe.  He is God.  I am not.   In Jesus Name.

I seek and secure victory thanking Him for providing the win.  I fall, dashed upon the rocks, emptied of all strength and endurance, then remember I lay prostrate under the wings of God.  Reserves hollow I delight in the opportunity to feel the reservoirs filled by energy beyond my reckoning.  Happy, I blink and see His face, remembering from whom I learned its meaning.  I am poor and delight in my riches.  I am a servant and love emulating my Father.  My wickedness has been forgiven and is being extracted bit by nasty bit.  I am to be the purest silver bubbling up through the heat renewed, cleansed.  Weakness excites me, for you shall see His face in my surrendered eyes.  I am nothing of my own, but in Him, in their image I am something about which neither of us has an inkling of understanding.  I forgive and know that He has given me the secret to my edification.  I love, then thank Him for teaching me how.  I am a part of the Body of Christ, set together, pressed tightly, so that we might be one together in His Glory.  He is my cornerstone, my coming King, my Lord, my Good Shepherd about whom it is right to brag.  About me there is no other story worth telling.  In Jesus Name I pray.  Amen.

Impermanence, surrounded by fluidity and change.  What is this life that I should count anything worthy of my dependence or surety?  My flesh is easily breached, scarred, chained and lasts nothing more than one hundred or so years.  My mind perchance may stay cognizant throughout but even that at the center of my self-image is short lived.  What calls me to place so much weight upon something so transient.  Is it necessary to maintain sanity?  Must I imagine myself long-lasting, ignoring the truth of man’s short existence in order to quench my fear of inevitable demise?  Why, yes, of course that is the measure of man’s fear and frankly his immature unwillingness to come to grips with mortality.

But why fear begin mortal if that is what it means to be mortal?  Fearing the truth of my longevity does not transform the truth of its inevitability, neither does it transform me into a being that lives beyond normalcy.  Why then must I avoid the truth of my life, relatively short as it appears?  There are only two possibilities; one, this is it, this short life is all that we are given and therefore prolonging our lives even for a few short years remains our only hope of continuance and two that there is an afterlife that holds an accountability for how we lived during this short time.  For regrets of a life poorly or well lived only matter if there is afterlife during which we reflect upon how we once lived.

Without afterlife conscience matters not.  For my prescience contributes little to a history of man content to chase the same spoils of fleshly impermanence.  It is our indomitable spirit that craves things less fragile than humanity.  Evolution would not make the dominant species so easily broken, so readily dispatched into silence.  We were designed for a short term purpose that requires our fragility lending toward tempo-rarity. Again we were made to die early and remain relatively vulnerable.  It is permanence we seek, we don’t like sickness, death, fragility, scarcity of time or weakness.  This distaste leads us directly to the humility at God’s feet.  For we lack that which we most desire the time and opportunity to do it right.  We are either men dependent upon the rules, graces and intercessory action of God to reach something akin to eternity or we believe that somehow we will find some personal route to the everlasting.  I cannot even understand my wife never-mind find myself clever enough to create a window to continued existence past mortality.

What God says is rational, real and dependable.  We may either believe upon His graces and be saved to spend eternity free from the fragility of this world or we may seek separation from Him, in which case we are subjected to the rules and consequences He has deemed for said departed.  Either way our lives are temporary so we ought make the best of them.  The best I can do is tell you how to escape the temporary harshness, loss and limitations of an unimpressive mortal life by believing that this is just the training ground for what lay beyond the veil or mortality.  We shall be with Him in eternity, timeless, united, permanent.  That is okay with me.  In Jesus name.

Love in an egregious sense, overwhelming, inspiring, frightening in its purity and conscience.  Something beyond my senses yet understandable, enviable, multiplicative through source and spirit.  We traveled unnoticed, or so we thought, all the while not only perceived as an insect in periphery, but substantially, completely, totally identified, created, purposed and loved.  How marred my comprehension once enlightenment revealed my relationship to God.  No longer simple, ignored, forgotten or moribund, now a thing reviewed and cared for by the Creator of all waves, light, pulses and plasma.  In His recognition of my kinship I am now defined.

What then does that definition portend?  With which responsibilities does it weight my character, my loyalty, faith and performance?  How may I act as this new creature, gone the suppositions of prior existence?  Does this unquenchable, immeasurable love grant me freedom to act out of whim or craving?  Or is this love a cage threatening my own sovereignty establishing itself above metaphysical laws and passion?  Would I be forced to come to reckoning and forgo my own wisdom, self, taste bud and reactionary provocations?  Is this a Man’s god or must I become God’s man?

Seeing as I didn’t know before I knew, then it was not a thing self generated, whether by conscience, clever-thinking, self magic or wizardry.  What I have been given is given by one who loved me enough to raze shadow and offer cleansing light.  How then may I own and thus control that which I have only been given through act of care and kindness?  We relish this line of inquiry for it leads to one inevitable, stark, astonishing place, surrender.

Worse than this is the truth that without what I have been given I was helplessly, hopelessly left compromised, owned, shackled by dark things of wanton wisdom.  Deceived, destined, declined entry to things eternal, left, a wet hat, or stray cat in the cold, dark forest of self-sustainability, leading to eventual decomposition.  What praise then shall I offer the one who saw through this abomination?  What song shall I trumpet at the joyous knowledge of my having been set free?  What reason or excuse will suffice why I do not declare my  gifting as opening sonnet or closing prayer to each discussion?

To them who avoid or try to explain away God for fear of judgment, this is not some hopeless Russian play leaving us weeping in the inevitable, inescapable thrust of overwhelming oppression and loss.  This is a love story that drove angels to their knees in wonderment as God put off His glory to come and save the children He loved so dearly.   They saw God become man to right a wrong for which He had no culpability, to drink the rotten filthy poison of man’s wickedness to overcome its slavery of mankind.  This is that greatest story, one in which we all are participants, choosing our roles and relationships, through acts of will or surrender.

There are only two parts, one sides with light the other with darkness, but there is a hitch, the darkness has the power to deceive and disguise itself as light for them who are not familiar.  But for the price of belief each and all of us might be set forever and completely free from the power of deception and disguise.  Logic, systems, cellular complexity and even the inexpiable faith that lives within each heart declares the Glory and Majesty of Almighty God. But it was His love that won my heart, a power over which neither death nor my own foolish thinking could contend.  Death was mastered, I surrendered, both sworn allegiance to the righteous and true Lord of Lords, King Jesus.  All will come.  I pray that you enter Heaven by faith, surrender and salvation, because He loves you so much.  In Jesus name.