Revealed in my joy, understood in my pain, your love for me evades my time of luke warmth.  My quickening, this blessing, my soul siphoned through a fine mesh.  Dross no longer able to make the horrible man I have always been.  All that is good, you did in me, none of my efforts account for substantiation.  Why then should I fear this crucible, a removal of imperfection?  I dread being this man forever, thankful beyond reason for the opportunity to be cleansed, purified, remade into something I could never alone become.  Please don’t leave me in this present state or I am certainly doomed to loose every relation worth treasured enumeration.

What then is this joy in the middle of excoriation, stretched beyond elastic limit, fearing collapse, snap, brokenness and finding after a time, only repair, rework and that blessed peace given by You, to those in You?  Pitied, harangued, forgotten, misshapen and misused, my eyes are led back to the Glory this journey shall produce.  I must not be such the waste of time I appear, if the Lord of Glory would even consider tolerating my foible.  What then Lord is the purpose for this exclusion, this loss, this stripping, this humiliation?  What will it produce that may be of value to Your Good and Honest Will for my life and that of others.  I am tired of being someone other than what you created me to be.  I face the weariness of being someone different to humor their own wickedness, a pawn in someone’s prison, joining them in captivity instead of leading them to freedom.

Father I have failed and yet I remember success upon success, doing the work for which I have been fashioned.  I am thankful that man is only mist, a vapor, for I doubt that I could withstand a greater term of quickening.  It is difficult to see what you see in me and even more rigorous to imagine that in my short remaining time you will somehow find the way to prepare me for eternity.  You simply are amazing.  This pain is amazing in awakening my obedience, my passion, my loyal love and understanding.  I miss them Lord.  My only hope is that what is given will be far greater than that I have lost in the learning.  I trust in You.  I will follow, serve, believe and find joy even if my path leads to tragedy.  I am truly sorry for being such a difficult task.  You are loved greatly, my King by one who has nothing but his love to give.  In Jesus Name I pray.

God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they. 

Hebrews 1:1-4

I hear, recognize and understand the arguments for simpler text, a more seeker friendly version of God’s Word.  However, looking upon the above passage I am instantly decided that no other versioning would properly depict the gravity and the depth of its Holy Spirit inspired construction.  Simply observing that the above is one sentence, immediately makes “simpler” texts suspect, for each clause above is dependent upon the previous statement for structured understanding.  In man’s desire to make it easier for himself he divorces himself from dependence upon the Holy Spirit for discernment.  This text is amazing.  Let us look into what the Holy Spirit shows us within this tiny tract.  And I trust that you will investigate your favorite translation to determine, like the Barean God commanded you to be, if I am correct in my declaration.

What is in a name that its utterance or recognition could make someone more excellent than an entire segment of creation?  What does it mean to obtain a name by inheritance?  Is Word more powerful than thought?  Remember we are to meditate on God’s Word day and night, why?  What is so powerful that if I were to contemplate an idea over and again it would somehow become written upon my heart?  How does the “Anointed One Savior”(Jesus the Christ) properly describe a King of Kings?  Why is Jesus the “Word”?  How can someone be made so much better than the angels and not be God?  Doesn’t sitting at the right hand denote equality to a capitalized word, “Majesty”, which is the LORD God Himself?  This passage states that Jesus himself, purged our sins and upholds all things by the word of his power.

This passage says that Jesus is the express image and the brightness of God’s Glory through whom God made all things.  It pronounces Christ heir of all things that have been made, and as God’s appointed heir has been conveying God’s Word to faithful as God previously had done through prophets in sundry times and diverse places.  And the most amazing thing about this passage is that God is clearly the subject at the beginning but the passage miraculously changes subjects to Jesus midway without changing any descriptions.  And what completely knocks me over is that the Holy Spirit, also God, is conveying this entire description about Himself from a seemingly external perspective.  How then am I, a simple man to understand word of this complexity.  To be honest I can’t.  But I know who can and He is my teacher, friend, guide and counselor.  The Holy Spirit who lives in each of us that believe, God with us.  Praise Emmanuel for all His Glory, Devotion and Kindness in leading me to His side through His Word.  The Good Shepherd.  Amen.

Godsman, the man where saying what I will do and how I will do it, no longer adequate.  I am left with what I am and what God wants for and the space between the two, a space that I may never traverse, but God will reach regardless.  Regardless of my inadequacies, my bitterness, lack of hope, regret, remorse, doubt or prowess.  We want His greatest blessings and yet are unwilling to surrender to His commands, knowing fully it is the only way to reach our desire.

I must not strike the rock taking the quarrels of those around personally, forgetting God’s direction.  I must not rest for a moment, a moment of indulgence, allowing my sinful flesh to entice me toward adultery.  The kind of mistake that assures I will never achieve God’s greatest blessing in this life. God’s intended blessing for my existence may look like crucifixion or death by hungry lion, perhaps it will mean fame, fortune and ease.  Will I throw my hands in the air, giggling as gravity tests my resolve or will I scream in horror, clutching for handholds?  We all know I cannot and do not wish to get off the ride.  Isn’t it then joy that differentiates my passing?

Am I committed to reaching and embracing that blessing with joy, the joy of knowing I am serving God’s Plan to my greatest potential?  God is, regardless of my perception, reaction, obedience or attitude.  Will words convince you that I rejoice in God’s plan for my life even if it means martyrdom, most certainly not?  Faith is a robust discipline.  It may not simply be defined, appreciated and understood in its conceptual or theoretic form, though these are deeply satisfying.  Faith must be lived, for the living of life is its own meaning and may not be understood simply via observation or contemplation.

The new dilemma of the convicted Christian is to do it without simply saying what must be done in self-conversation.  We must not convince ourselves that we are doing what God wants we must give ourselves to the Potter’s Hand and allow the shaping to define the result.  Although, I have hints about what God is doing in my life and where He is taking me, I truly don’t know, arguably don’t want to know the destination He has prepared at the end of my edification.  For if I project it then I somehow maintain the deception that I may somehow bring about or sway the outcome.  The Holy Spirit lives in each of us, the House of God.  He will have His way.  Is God’s result my objective?  Then it is His power, authority, direction and miracles that will make it happen.  For example, what if I resisted God, refusing or dodging His every direction?  Do you think that would prohibit His success?  Isn’t that satan’s thinking?

He is my God, but that statement implies some manner of ownership on my part.  I am His, I belong to Him and am grateful/extremely fortunate to have His name and my own associated even the same book.  That is enough for me.  I prefer to throw my hands up high and yell whee!!!, enjoying the ride, not knowing to what glorious end it takes me.  It is simply enough that it is His end and that is the greatest blessing that I will ever enjoy.