How was I set free from the impending finality of God’s Righteous Judgment?  That moment when I realized the depravity and captivity of sin, what made me cry out to God for deliverance?  Was I a righteous man doing all this under the seal and guidance of my own prudent discretion?  What causes me to serve God’s Will for my life, to walk in such a way that it reflects His Presence and Glory to an unsuspecting, desperate and waiting world?  Without God’s commandments, or testimony about them given by knowledgeable people would I even now be aware of my hopeless state?  Would God have left me in that state knowing fully that without His prompting I would never find salvation?

My Heart breaks for my own wickedness and sin. Even now I am disobedient and willful in my service to self, money and any idols I have erected in the places reserved for God.  What then will deliver me from this excruciating situation?  Is it self, will I lead myself to a better life through righteous thought and subsequent performance?  How better than to ignore God’s Will than to claim I’ve never heard it or perhaps remain ignorant to the clarity of His Commands presented boldly in His Word?  What then is evidence of God’s Presence in my life than the fruits of His Spirit and if they are not evident or present ought I expect that I have found deliverance from sin and death, especially when my present life remains tainted with continued sin?  My only hope is the heart break and ache I feel presently.

My heart break should create such inconvenience and discomfort that it provokes action, if not it is neither worth mention nor contemplation.  What then of my state, will God leave me here now that I have been saved, allowing my disobedience, my continued wickedness?  This is not complex, I must make it complex in hopes of building in sufficient excuse to continue in my disservice to God.  If I do not do what God commands then I am disobedient.  Do I expect that He will forgive me for that disobedience?  Well certainly, but that will never come without REPENTANCE.  For the heart break has always been God’s Spirit Prompting.  It is His clarion call to answer, ask for and accept that forgiveness to which we are effectively certain.  Without repentance, nothing is rectified, no change takes place, no alternative life is sought and no consequential living for God commences.  Churches and church leaders preach revival when they have never repented, an impossible cause.  Elders ask parishioners to live holy lives without the requisite example, teaching, guidance and shepherding.  Pastors expect God’s continued blessing without fulfilling the great commission and demonstrating Christ’s Lordship over all who confess belief.  All this lacks repentance for the prompting causes hearth break, leading to repentance, forgiveness, cleansing and righteous service to God’s Will for all our lives.  Interrupting the process by never having had the moment of brokenness and repentance leads to false worship, idle service and complacency.  At this the enemy laughs and finds comfort seated among the brethren in the mustard tree.

What then my present heart break for my life, my home, my family, this nation and the world?  Will I have that moment of true confession and repentance where God might hear my voice from His Presence in Heaven?  Or is the truth that my heart break is simply heart burn over not having gained all that my eyes beheld?  My nation is falling apart my church is unresponsive to the call to arms this should evoke.  We are the wicked generation and will be shown no miracle of revival for we lack the repentance and voluntary service to God as righteous slaves, we lack the fear and love for Him that promotes faithful service.  We are busy serving other gods and find no need for repentance or prayer for the lost and dying and will suffer the bitterness of involuntary service by God’s Hand of Discipline.

Oh, Lord thank You for breaking my heart.  Let its urging surround me, consume me with grief so powerful that it knocks me to my knees in prayer for mercy, honest fasting and righteous demonstration of my love for all You’ve done and continue to do for humanity.  Let me have repentance that leads to life changing behavior and evidence of Your Holy Spirit’s Fruit.  Let me accept the call upon my heart to serve Your Will.  Separate me from the acts of this world for this is not my home, just my duty station.  In Jesus’ Holy Name I pray.