My deeds always have an attached component entirely about me.  I do not allow myself to be paraded publicly, persecuted, punished, counted with Christ for the Good of God’s Kingdom.  My greedy little eyes and hands devour those things I want, scouring the Bible for scripture that may be used to explain away or justify my actions as somehow appropriate.  Even when I do good, I have to stop and wonder my intentions, were they really chaste, just, selfless like My God, My Christ?  If I doubt my own motivation what then shall God see within my greatest sacrifice?  What makes the enemy so effective in attempts to steal our joy is that the truth may only be twisted or modified if the lie still contains the semblance of the original truth.  Praise be to God it is not upon my own works or worth that I shall gain entry to heaven, for they are filthy rags before the Lord’s nostrils.  I do not deserve fellowship with God.  I did not gain God’s favor through performance.  I was given grace and only by His grace was I made to see the error of my pensive and active life.  I owe all to His Selflessness on my behalf.

But then my heart, yes my heart, that little chemical engine that holds my life in its hands.  What motivates my heart, what does God really see at the middle of me?  For He knows the real me, that man concealed behind the superficial deeds I display as my portfolio to convince myself and others of my piety.  They don’t remember me because I never really did anything worth remembering.  They remember Him because He gave all for them.  How then may I give all if all that I know is what I know?  You see it is not enough for me to think that I have become a new creature because I say that I know Christ.  My mind must exhibit the notable changes associated with becoming sacrificial in my thinking toward God and man.  Everything about me must demonstrate the evidence and presence of God’s Holy Spirit at work in reconstruction of my desperate container.  I cannot be one with Christ if I do not love, honor, obey and truly begin to look like Christ internally.  The evidence of new construction is the demolition, ground breaking, planning and reconstruction of what was the home of errant living and thinking.  Or even better the presence of the master builder and His angels doing the work beyond each of us.

What were my thoughts sans Christ?  What things do my mind and heart entertain now that I have been risen with Christ?  Would anyone who has known both parts of my life accuse me in front of the religious courts of being Christian?  Would they hate me as they first hated Him?  Would God speak to me of my deeds well done out of faith or would He wave His hand to ignite the kindling of my life misspent?  It is not this man that you see, the effectively camouflaged man, that I should bid you consider.  It should be my greatest hope that you see me at my worst possible moment and in that moment see Christ’s hand upon me, molding, shaping, remaking me and cleansing me from the poisonous spots of this world.  For it is only through being adopted to the Mind of Christ that my inner man might be set free from the treasonous treachery of sinful or wicked thinking, that my heart might be sanctified to the purity of God.  It is my greatest hope that you look at me and see Him, His Work, His Hope, His righteousness and certainly His Faithfulness and Sacrifice for mine have always been inadequate, superficial and worldly at best.

What then should I be showing this world if the inner man is healed?  Ought I contemplate fully upon what man sees in my life?  Should it bother me even the slightest the smell, texture and longevity of my fruit?  If I am God’s Man then shouldn’t it be apparent or is this too something to remain hidden within my authentic man, not publicly revealed?  I pray that you see my internal workings and see Christ at the helm of my life, the Captain of ship of my life, for He is my righteous King.  I don’t just want to say it to lure in the bees with whispers of honey.  I want to live it, to truly love Him and You with all my heart, mind, soul, spirit and strength.  I want people to be attracted to my character in curiosity of how they might embrace their own individual relationship with Almighty God.  Let us stop for a moment and think about what that really looks like, for that is the dream we preach to live or live to preach.  To be like Christ on Earth, even as this day He is seated at the right Hand of the Father interceding for each of us.  Even now adoring us, sacrificing for us, defending and providing for our safe, continued existence in time that we might have the opportunity to serve Glory’s Call.

Lord I am not there but please don’t give up on me.  My greatest fear is not that I lose out on some gain or spoil.  No I fear that the day that You believe I am beyond Your Hand’s repair.  For if You cannot remake me then what hope may I ever command.  Praise be to Your Name that Your Promises are True and You are Faithful to complete this work that You once began in each of us.  Give me Your mind and heart for this life, take away my dependence upon my own capacities.  Thank you for Your continued acts of selflessness in my life.  I certainly do not deserve them.  That is what makes them even sweeter for I may not honor myself in their acceptance.  Praise Your Holy Name, Christ the Living King.