Being content with what we have received is a lynch pin in growth and opportunity.  It is hard to go to God with a thankful heart when I do not truly believe that I am blessed with what I have already been given, materially, relationally, and Spiritually.  I am not advocating or indicating that we shall place a goofy smile upon our faces and ignore the pain in our hearts surrounding our circumstances, although my goofy grin is indelible.  What I am saying is that the unfavorable circumstances we have been placed in are most frequently the exact training material for our edification.  That doesn’t make it more pleasant but we must remember that God is still in control, even within our arduous situation.

I do not like the pain, but I respect and understand that the pain will build my patience and if I stand my ground, conscious of my gratitude and attitude that at some point my faith will grow and my walk mature.  It seems that I am offering small consolation, but this is no small thing, this is learning to Trust God’s Plan vs. holding fast to my own concepts and understanding.  This is often so difficult for me that it nears the impossible, fortunately that is the point where I know that any resolution must come from God.  When we have reached the end of our tolerance, energy, assets, talents, abilities, creativity and cleverness we are exactly where God may use each of us.  What will I do when confronted with that moment, the point where I am empty?  Well I certainly cannot depend on myself, so I can either give up or wait upon God.  I wish I had gotten to that mind state prior to using up all my God given blessings.  Maybe next time I will trust God and thank Him for the opportunity to struggle through the mire.

I acknowledge Him right where I am.  That does not mean that I may just wander, willy nilly up ever hill and dale looking to serve my strategies.  What it does mean is that if I am surrendered to God’s Will for my life, having studied to show myself approved in rightly dividing the Word, then I will be given peace regarding the obstacles, battles and disasters as they arrive.  None of us is incident free.  No one lives a life of no challenge.  For if we do then it is extremely likely that the growth opportunity quotient, the sword sharpening will never come.  I desperately want peace and I may have it as I accept Life in its abundance.  I must not fall pray to the worldly ideals that if I have troubles then I cannot have peace, for often that is exactly when I find the kind of Peace offered by Jesus Christ.  In the midst of circumstance, when it makes no common sense, when it confounds the human idea, that is exactly when this type of peace changes hearts and minds.  I love you Lord and I love those who Love You.  In Your Name I pray.

What is the quickest way that God draws you back to Him?  Is it pain as with my separation, perhaps tragedy, loneliness, distance or shame?  You know that state that you cannot withstand, that predicament that will cause you to cry out for mercy, salvation and deliverance.  Do you feel the longing, a barrier or space between you and God?  Does it make you queezy, uneasy or sad?

I crave that thing which brings me immediately into God’s Presence.  Unfortunately for those around me it is usually a reminder of my inadequacy brought on by a much needed lesson in humility delivered to my doorstep, because He loves me enough to do so.  God doesn’t like being away from me.  I know, I cannot know the mind or heart of God.  I am simply assuming, because every time I walk away from Him doing my own thing, He gives me the exact pitch I cannot hit, the relationship I cannot resolve or the difficulty I cannot overcome.  And zam zoom, I am right back where I should have been all along, on my knees asking the Lord for assistance.  The problem with my behavior is that if I had listened in the first place and recognized my consuming desire for God’s Love and Approval, I never would have had to force His hand into teaching me the lesson.  I know that is probably backwards logic, because He knew before the beginning of time that He was going to have to provide me the opportunity to once again learn the same lesson I had missed the last, it seems one-hundred thousand times.   But it does bring me some comfort in my idiocy to think that God loves me that much.

I cannot bear my brokenness, hard head and heartedness, heck sometimes I cannot even test the waters of thinking I am in any small measure useful for God’s Good Pleasure.  But that is exactly where I should have been in the first place, because it was never my talent that He found useful.  I am most appealing as an empty vase, tarnished, chipped, cracked and half lacquered.  The irony for man is that we matter so much to Him that He came to save us then use as vessels and conduits for His majesty.  That is so deep it is a bottom I cannot fathom.  All I know is that I need Him.  Not just ever day, but ever moment of every day.  And the most painful idea is that I ever wasted a moment thinking that I could do it on my own, because I cannot.  I admit it.  I need God even more than air for air simply sustains me in life where God will be my foundation through eternity.  Please Lord don’t let me wander far and allow me to escape the pain that it apparently requires to keep me conscious of my place in the universe.  But, my worst fear is that you just let me go and for that I would suffer all the promptings, however painful if they always brought me back to the place I belong, under the shadow and shelter of Your Mighty Wings.  Praise You Father in the Awesome Name of Jesus.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.  And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.  The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.  Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.  For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?  The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,  Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.  He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.  Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.  Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.  I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.  Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.  Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.  Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.  Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling.  Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him. Psalms 1 & 2

What is blessed and why would it benefit a man to abstain from walking by the advice of ungodly counsel?  How is it beneficial to stand apart from sinners or refrain from participation in round tables that mock or scorn God?  What are the traits that make a man who perpetually ponders God’s Law, delightful?  How may he be likened to a tree that is well planted and sufficiently watered to point of bearing good fruit, in due time?  What makes ungodly folks like dry stalk that is easily disbursed by the wind?  Why are the ungodly precluded from standing against or for righteous judgment?  Why are sinners not accepted in a righteous congregation?  Why do the righteous withstand the scrutiny of God’s knowledge while the same review of ungodly behavior enforces death?  So many seek answers to all their self initiated questions, but they seldom take time to contemplate the questions that arise naturally from contemplation of God’s Word.  These questions are important, defining and their answers Earth Shaking, why then would we skip the opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit for these crucial answers?

Please take a few minutes to review and meditate upon Psalms 2 and you will see that many of the answers point firmly and undeniably toward God’s Love for Jesus and His resolution toward punishing the ungodly for their defiance to His command and for chastising believers.  This is the repeated theme that relativists, self-servers, atheists and those established servants of darkness must at all costs proclaim illusion.  This belief that God is sovereign, all powerful and that His righteous Law applies to everyone is absolutely unfathomable to man who would be his own king.  They prefer illusion to truth and hide in the darkness of self-righteousness to avoid the reality that God is in charge, makes the rules and is the only wielder of judgment for man’s behavior.  Therefore having no mechanism or vehicle to battle against an Almighty God they do what any other coward would and attack those who believe in and serve that Almighty God.  Cowardice preys upon innocence, just as wolves love to eat defenseless sheep.  But the day will come when the Good Shepherd avenges this devastation of the innocent and enforces judgment and justice upon all who wrongly believe that there is no price for sinful action.  The wages of sin is death and God’s death proclaimed for this unbelief lasts eternally and burns indefinitely.  God is fair giving us all the choice to either obey or defy, that type of conscious decision comes with no excuse or logical defense.  God is Just, Right and True.  I will not stand against His Sovereign Authority for a few years of living my own lie.

Lord Jesus come soon, but if You don’t, give us strength to joyously accept our individual and collective purpose within Your Great Plan for humanity.

Face this day with the knowledge that God fights for you and it will lose its sting.  This is not our home, hard word to comprehend.  How then may I become embroiled in circumstance, being pulled into the details of episodes that are meant for my training and His Glory?  I do not like the way this loss, this hate, this missing love feels, but I know what it breeds within my spirit, a craving.  That craving for home, the garden, walking with God in the cool of the day.  There is no other purpose here but to practice for eternity and play some part, even a small one in pulling others from the unconscious and desperate fray.  This is the day, and like it or not I will rejoice in it as the only one I have been given that leads to the next and the next eventually to Him.

Father I am sorry for refusing to let go of scenarios plaid out from my childhood, trying foolishly to work out the scenes that did not end in my favor or find the love that I was not given.  Surrounding myself with the exact same characters and scenery, again and again is insanity, hoping to somehow arrive at different, more favorable outcome.  That is never how this works.  Thank you that you will use these things for the good of your purpose, because I certainly am either incapable of letting go or this play is the one that will teach me what I must invariably learn.  Forgive me for not loving them to the fullest, for begrudging them gain upon which my own envy was set.  This is so distasteful, especially the rolls that have been repeated innumerably.  I pray that you finally set me free of these vestiges of a life gone bye, take them from me so that I may truly become that new creature You’ve intended.

Waiting has always been my greatest weakness for in waiting I find my greatest enemy, my impatience and desire to have things work out the way I have prescribed.  That is not what my heart truly wishes, yet I continue to play the role.  May I bow and leave the stage now Lord, please.  For I tire of myself, not in a hateful, loathing manner but rather in boredom of my incapacity to rise above this same mundane performance.  The secret is in the desire for accolade, notoriety, glory.  Set me free from these pursuits, let me simply serve and delight in the successes of those you love as they see Your Glory fulfilled.  Give me peace Father.  Lord Jesus, I do not doubt that I would make the same mistakes Your Apostles made, but that does not matter for I believe that it is in the living that our reward is fulfilled.  I love You and though I repeatedly fail, I know that You know my heart and love me dearly, so continue on I shall.  For my prizes are the people and the path that leads to the only destination I truly desire a day spent sitting in quiet with You.  Bless Your Name Lord God through Jesus Christ my King.