What is it that you are waiting to see that will bring you into belief?  If Jesus materialized in front of you right now would you be convinced?  Would you have to probe His side for the spear wound or His hands and feet for the spike scars?  What questions would you ask Him to give you sufficient evidence of His identification and personality?  Would you ask Him for a miracle, maybe a magic trick or two, heal your broken hand from college?  And after He went through this list of qualifying steps, would you then listen to what He had to say or would you still listen as skeptic?  Would He have to command you in order to get you to follow Him, and when He did so would you love Him or resent Him for ordering you around?  What if He wanted you to learn the Bible so that you might not be afraid and that you might begin to understand His loving grace and purpose for your life?  Would you obey or still be rebellious?

None of us have a problem believing in God, we have a problem obeying God.  It is all well and good to have a long-bearded, Father figure up there to whom we might pray in time of need.  It is heart warming to imagine Him watching over each and every one of us, sending Angels on demand to protect us from the darkness and ill things that might sicken, impoverish or wound us.  We are entirely okay with imagining that He sacrificed for us, created a world that we might be satisfied and raised up prophets to give us wisdom when we went astray.  The real problem is when He has the audacity, as Sovereign God, over all creation to set standards, rules and predictions for judgment, justice and eternity.  We don’t like that He would set parameters for those who would be allowed into heaven and those who would be disciplined for their behaviors on Earth.  We cannot begin to tolerate that He would die for us and in so doing we owe a debt that we cannot pay and must by His direction, believe or face eternal death and separation.

See man by nature is self concerned, self aware and believes that happiness requires self-determinism.  We don’t want to have to listen to anyone, yet we work at a job where we don’t make the rules, pay taxes to a government who bosses us around and adjust our character to gain the benefits of good relations with the opposite sex.  It is an illusion that we are free to determine anything.  In fact if we determine to drink alot we become slaves to booze, or take drugs we are driven by those viral urges.  We sign 30 year mortgages to which we become long term servants.  None of us if free in this life and if you think you are go around tomorrow exercising every whim and you will be locked up by the cops by days end.

Even if we knew that Jesus is all loving, all knowing and all caring, being entirely dedicated to directing us toward the best things for this life, we would still resent it because we just don’t like being told what to do.  Does anyone have the sovereign authority in your life to tell you what is right and wrong, such that you would listen if they told you stop some negative behavior or start some positive ones?  It is not about How much He wants to save us from sin, death and the assaults of unrighteous enemies.  We simply see His direction as intolerant because it doesn’t allow each of us to follow our own rules.  That is fool hardy immaturity, for there has never been a king in the history of man that has allowed such behavior.  Why, if man would never accept our own personal right to establish relativistic rules by which other must follow, do we expect that the One Spirit with the Established Right to make such rules is not allowed to do so?  Look at Israel, He tried to save them over and over again and get them to live righteous lives as He continually blessed them, and they simply straight up refused, choosing instead to follow their own wicked ways.

You’re right it seems strange for a man or woman to surrender to the Will of God.  But I submit that it only sounds strange because of our stubborn desire to be our own God coupled with an unwillingness to recognize any Sovereign authority.  I don’t want the responsibility of being God.  I have made too many mistakes when left to my druthers that I am assured that I do not know the right thing to do.  This is where you jump in an out of your own arrogance and lack of experience tell me that you can guide me to righteousness.  This only means that you have not yet lived enough to learn that you too don’t know squat.  Either that or you have been blinded to your own ignorance which is truly a worse predicament than I will ever venture.  I know that God is God and I am not.  I know that Jesus saved me from eternal separation from God and slavery to my sin and death.  I know that He gets to make the rules and I have the free will choice to follow or fight His Sovereign Authority.  I know fully where fighting Jesus will get any of us and having a spot of wisdom I don’t choose to fight a battle I would certainly loose to a God I certainly love and respect.  I have chosen my own road and seen where that led, to misery.  Now I let God choose and you know what I am happy being an obedient man.

I am sorry that you feel you need to struggle against a righteous and Holy God.  I pray for you daily and hope that you give up the futility of battling against omnipotence.  In Jesus’ Holy Name I pray.