It is so easy for me to be mistaken.  It seems to me that I spend more time apologizing for my inappropriate, less than adequate or ineffectual actions than actually getting anything done.  This indicates I have been doing less thinking and praying and more doing, an unfortunate pitfall of trying to fill my life with works instead of faith.  I have been living in a dry spot for a while, waiting for God to determine that it is time for me to enter the next oasis, abundance or steady opportunity.  Most of this has been to allow for investigation of the inherent difficulties associated with my new marriage, that would otherwise remain ticking time bombs if we live complacently for a period.  Although I am grateful and content in this understanding, it unfortunately has allowed the worldly folks around me to batter me about with the fact that I have little financial stability.  I am doing that which God has asked of me yet I am not prospering financially.  According to the prosperity doctrine folks I probably just haven’t sown enough financial tithe via their televangelical ministries.  Or perhaps, there is a time and purpose to all seasons under heaven.  This one I am in currently has produced more reflection, edification and return to the Lord for succor that many of the others combined.  And that is all the prosperity I need.

I do hope that this walk through the desert winds down shortly.  I pray that if it has anything to do with my own resistance to God’s direction, education or counsel, that I quickly give way to His authority, accepting fully the lessons and blessings God has intended.  I do not wish to wander around the desert for 38 years failing in courage to take the high ground of the promised land.  Lord send me against the giants for none may stand against us as you are for us.  Allow me to bring glory to Your Name, through my own walk, through my marriage and through my endeavors/career.  Give me the strength, wisdom and courage to assist appropriately in the edification of others, loving and genuinely/gently assisting them to find you during, before and after each testing/trial.  Let me love them as you love them.  Father thank you for the discipline, thank you for the testing, I appreciate the sparse circumstances as they allow me clarity in my walk and relationship with You.  Everything becomes vivid as all camouflage has been removed.

I love you more each day.  Bless Your Holy Name.  King Jesus.